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 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 1
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going to resturants alonePage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Looking for opinions others have and not a self-pity thread.

Do others mind going out to eat alone like a Red Lobster, A Steak House, Chinese etc.. I'm not referring to places like Burger King, Wendys or fast food type.

Would you feel strange doing it? Normally the places I'm thinking of are places for couples, family etc. so there is someone there to talk to etc. Would you feel strange sitting at a table by yourself ?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 10:52:29 AM
I love it, it's only weird when you're not used to it - the more you do it the less it bothers you. I'd do it more if I didn't like the food I cook at home better. I think it's awesome when someone doesn't need a chaperone to do things in public.

You can bring a book or just relax and get some me time in without having to cook, and if you're in the mood for it, you can meet more new people that way. The waitress, bartender, and hostess are usually alone too.

The older I get the more I prefer it, actually - I also like movie theaters, bars/clubs, vacations, the beach in summer, parks, etc alone. Less drama, less scheduling problems, you can get there when you want and leave when you're ready - and no one's offended.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 3
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:35:34 AM
I go to restaurants alone and don't feel weird.

Ooh, this reminds me of about 7 years ago. My parents never paid for me to just go "shopping" whenever, but they'd pay for me to go to the cinema as often as I liked. I often went to the cinema alone; I remember the shock from my classmates when some of them asked who I went with. Umm, no-one. "What?! You went by... yourself!" Yep. I'm comfortable in my own company. I mean yeah, I do love hanging out with other people/doing stuff together, but doing stuff on my own doesn't bother me.

Then again, the people who were shocked by this were the girls who wouldn't even walk from one class to the next, or even go to the girls' room without someone holding their hand for fear of looking like a "loner".
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 4
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:44:51 AM
The comments and opinions have been great. Thanks.

Thought bringing a book or something to look at would be odd for some reason especially if it was a steak house or lobster. What do you do while waiting for the meal? What do you look at? I don't know is why I'm asking.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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going to restaurants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:22:45 PM
I go out to eat where ever I feel like going, alone, but I do make sure I don't hit these places at peak hours, when tables for families or groups are going to be needed. I often prefer to eat alone, so I can just relax and enjoy the food.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 6
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:26:21 PM
Thought bringing a book or something to look at would be odd for some reason especially if it was a steak house or lobster. What do you do while waiting for the meal? What do you look at? I don't know is why I'm asking.

I like books/magazines/newspapers, but a Kindle or iphone/ipod or something like that is a cool way to read if you want to grab some mind food while you wait for the meal.

Personally? I'm a big people watcher. Not only do I like to go places alone, I like to sit back and watch society function - a side effect of being a DJ I guess. For us, being a spectator is part of the job, and eventually becomes a hobby. Anywhere there's people, there's sure to be some form of entertainment. Reality TV is proof of it.

In fact, when I am out with friends in a bar or club, I have to find a way to shake them and go off on my own to a vantage point where I can just quietly analyze the place, the lighting, the bartenders working, the flow of people, the setup, the music if there is any; so I can go to a restaurant and do that type of thing for hours. My absolute favorite is the restaurant in a huge airport or on a busy college street in the summer.

I've actually at times been annoyed by people who thought I needed company and started yakking at me. How do you tell them that if you wanted company you'd either go back to the group you came with, or if alone you'd have brought someone with you?
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 7
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:38:27 PM

hey....i read a lot . i have a book with me 24/7 in case i get stuck someplace and have to wait for someone or something.

so sure sometimes i take a book and enjoy the quiet time to read.

but its also an EXCELLENT time to get to know yourself. if this is a big fat scary thing to do then why not face it head on. dont HIDE behind a book. jsut go alone and THINK. THINKING is a good thing!! getting to know your thoughts and fears and asking WHY am i afraid of this table?? why am i afraid of those strangers over there? why the heck do i give a flip waht they thnk???

those kind of therapy sessions with yourself will do wonders. soul searching.... will open amazing doors. show you sides of yourself that you didnt know were there.

skip the book.
go on a date with the #1 person inthe world...YOU!!!


Powerful thoughts and suggestions. Thanks.
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 8
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:41:21 PM

If you're not sure you'll feel comfortable, I say try it for the first time at a place that you know has booths (and go a little on the early side so they won't be too busy for one to be open for you). Then you'll have a little privacy. Don't be afraid to ask for the seating you want! They want you to be comfortable. People spend more when they're at ease!


Hadn't thought of that. It would be the first time I try something like this.
 JaxFlorida
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 9
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going to restaurants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:45:08 PM

I go out to eat where ever I feel like going, alone, but I do make sure I don't hit these places at peak hours, when tables for families or groups are going to be needed. I often prefer to eat alone, so I can just relax and enjoy the food.


Peak hours would be a bad idea. I had considered that.
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 10
going to restaurants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:50:16 PM
There is nothing wrong with going to restaurants alone, as long as they aren't crappy restaurants. I'd be more embarassed eating at Applebees with people than somewhere else by myself.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 12:56:56 PM
My next goal is to go to the movies alone. I seem to have a bit more of a problem w/ that.

In your mind, think of yourself as a movie critic when you worry what people might think. That instantly gives you more of a purpose for being in a theater than a family of four - you're going to see how crappy it is and report it to someone - for a paycheck! Well not really, but you see how the mindset of it changes the entire activity.

Truth is, most people don't pay half as much attention to us as we fear they do. Most are in their own little worlds and thinking about their own lives.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 12
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 1:38:22 PM

My next goal is to go to the movies alone. I seem to have a bit more of a problem w/ that.


I'm the absolute opposite. I love going to films on my own. I guess because I grew up going to movies by myself.
The resturant thing take some time getting use to. Since I do a lot of business travel, I find myself eating alone quite a bit.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 13
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 1:52:13 PM
It's ridiculous for a single person to be reclusive and never go anyplace by yourself just because they're afraid of what other people will think. I do not need an escort or entourage of friends around me. I like GOOD food and when I'm out and about or doing errands I won't resort to fast food or take out. I actually prefer going to a movie alone because working around my friend's schedules is just a hassle. It's not condusive to talking anyhow and I find having people with me is just distracting. I think people that feel uncomfortable about going out alone are insecure.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 14
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 2:28:40 PM
I've tried to go to restaurants and eat alone, but there are always people who got there before me. I guess I never feel much like I'm alone. Only that I come and go alone.

To make other's comfortable with my spacious seating arrangements I sometimes bring out my "money you could be saving by changing to GEICO" wad with eyes. I place it across from me and give it the food I don't want.

Instead of the book or magazine, I have sat and did the pretend everyone was naked routine. I don't recommend that at all for dining.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 15
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 3:16:44 PM
I do it all the time. I take a book or magazine. No big deal.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 3:42:39 PM
I've done it many times, simply because I travel a lot for my job. Doesn't phase me a bit, and never seemed to affect the restaurant folks. I wouldn't be surprised if the servers felt lass than thrilled at the prospect of a single-person level tip at the end of the deal, but no one ever showed any trouble.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 17
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 6:37:03 PM
I go to Hometown Buffet a lot and bring a book with me. I like doing that because I can do the whole thing at my pace and can just sit quietly off in my own (and the author's) little world.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 18
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:32:13 PM
I go out and eat alone all the time. Did it for business trips and still like to get out on the weekends, usually for brunch. I like to read so I bring a newspaper along. If you get to be a regular at a few places after while the staff gets to know you a bit and usually brings your favourites quickly.

It is true that as a single you sometimes get put at some of the worst tables, ie by the kitchen, near the doors in winter, next to busy walkways especially in a crowded places- I just avoid those places that keep doing that to you, or go at off times.

I'm actually quite surprised at the number of women here that say they dine alone. In my experience, not many are comfortable with it - I see very few ladies out by themselves. Maybe there's some relationship between posting in forums and being confident to go out by yourself (?)

Since most of my buds have gotten hooked up, I don't get too many chances to get out in a group. So rather than live in isolation I explore the town. People watching is always interesting and you never know what you might see next.

Another bonus-Its a way to scout out places to take dates or friends in the future. Give it a try OP- maybe you'll like it.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 19
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:31:03 PM

i go out on my own often
to movies and dinner

And you can buy yourself expensive presents. And you don't even have to wrap them. And you already know it's exactly what they wanted.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 20
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/25/2010 11:06:00 PM
I'm not one for going to restaurants alone.

To me, that's an excursion to be shared with someone, though it need not be a love interest.

I've taken cousins and friends out to eat before..........especially if I know they don't get to go eat out very often.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 21
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/26/2010 7:58:54 AM
From the time I got my driver's license...if I wanted to go somewhere or do something, and no one else was around or interested - I'd go myself. Movies, restaurants, clubs to hear a band I like...whatever!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/26/2010 7:59:25 AM

i do it all the time. what's wrong with it? what, i'm going to sit there worrying about what a bunch of nudniks think about me having a meal alone in a restaurant? oh, the horror!! hey if people want to look, i'll start hanging spoons off the end of my nose. that'll teach 'em. lol.

This is sort of my attitude. In fact, I welcome people staring at me - it means they must really have boring lives to find ME interesting. I just ain't that big a deal to watch.

When I heard a woman say, "Aw, he doesn't have anyone to talk to", that's when I knew it was time to leave. I've never been back to that place.

I'd have addressed this if it were me and said something like "hopefully I won't have anyone to talk to for at least this one dinner...I need a break."

Now I dont have to go anywhere alone anymore

No one "has" to go anywhere alone or with someone else. But life is much easier when you're able to. It eliminates being trapped into having to find someone else when no one wants to do what you want to do, and when you just want to go somewhere - you go. To me it's a sort of freedom.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 23
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/26/2010 12:40:20 PM
I never had any problems eating out by myself. Most restaurants have a bar area, they also serve in that area. So you sit there, talk to the other people at the bar, make a lot of friends, and if you are a regular to a couple of places, it was fun to get there and hang out. Also, once they know you and you arrive with a date or some friends, they tread you extra special.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 24
going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/26/2010 3:49:50 PM
It's never bothered me, even when my late DH was alive, if I was off on an expedition by myself.
As others have mentioned, taking a book, newspaper or magazine with you...or your laptop or other computing/connectivity device.

I'm not big on going to movies by myself, though I have done it. But pretty much anything I want to do, any place I want to go...within the bounds of fiscal responsibility, safety factors, if applicable-I'm very careful in selecting places where I go camping(yes in a tent), sticking to family type private campgrounds, or meeting friends at a location.
As far as entertainment, I have quite a few friends who are musicians/DJs, if they are playing in a bar and I want to go, I do. I also have musician friends who tend to do more "family friendly" venues.
I have NEVER understood-as mentioned by a previous poster- people,especially girls/women who can't go anywhere or do anything without someone along to hold their hand. I've seen some of these women make poor choices in suitors/SOs/spouses, simply because they were "sick of sitting home". Now THAT'S something that's really sad!
Cindy O
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 25
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going to resturants alone
Posted: 4/26/2010 3:53:20 PM
I do it all the time. If I'm somewhere by myself, I'll catch a movie or get something to eat at a nice restaurant alone. I don't find it to be a big deal or awkward at all.



*shrugs*
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