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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I don't like to kiss...is this normal?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 chargers1984
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 1
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have always had this problem. I simply do not like kissing. I don't mind a kiss here or there but making out makes me feel suffocated. And french kissing actually grosses me out. Am I crazy? Is there anyone else like this? I have no problem with any other form of affection, just kissing. I have talked to friends and family and they all say they've never heard of anyone not liking to kiss. I also don't know how to bring this up when I start to see someone new. I don't want to wait until they try to kiss me and push them away, but I'll seem crazy if I just bring it up out of nowhere. Any suggestions? Sorry if there is another thread on this, I checked and couldn't find anything.
 chargers1984
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 4
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 7:34:18 AM
I realized that after posting it, actually kissxoxo84 is a username I've used since I was about 14 and always used it just so I didn't have a bunch of different usernames that I had to remember. It never even crossed my mind of having anything to do with my whole situation. I plan on changing it now though as I don't want to send mixed signals. I will have to wait until this thread is done because after I tried to change it, it wouldn't let me post.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 7:56:52 AM

Any suggestions?


Just tell future "dates" that you aren't a french kisser. How hard can it be, really? I'm not a french kisser, either but I like kissing in general. I kiss on the lips, cheeks and forehead for the most part.

I think kissing overall is fun.

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 9:24:04 AM
Kissing is HUGELY a chemical interaction with people. That you have never enjoyed a kiss, suggest a chemical incompatibility of some sort, with possible psychological elements. You might find that getting your hormone levels checked might point up something that would allow you to make adjustments that would make it as much fun as others have with it. There may be a dietary influence, or even something involving ear-nose-throat challenges.
Strictly speaking, 'normal' means common, or average, not 'right' or 'okay.' In that sense, no, it is not normal in general, but it may well be normal for you. Since it is likely to restrict your dating and matching opportunities, if i were you, I'd invest in a medical checkup. If everything's good, you just have to keep looking until you find a mate who doesn't care for kissing all that much either.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 7
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 11:06:10 AM
I don't think it's crazy, but it's definitely unusual. IMO you'll hafta find a way to bring it up sooner rather than later, so as to weed out all but those few who will be compatible with you in this area, or willing to accommodate it. Something like, "In case we get to that point, I should tell you right up-front, I'm not big on kissing," oughta do it.

Maybe also explore the possibility that you've simply never kissed anyone to whom you were all that attracted. I'm just taking a shot in the dark, there, but it's possible; you wouldn't be the only one! Far from it. In which case, it may be hard to find someone who does light up your bulbs, but it's well worth holding out for it!
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 8
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 11:37:24 AM
Hmm, no kissing, at all??
I can understand you don't like kissing SOME guys
The ones that have extra saliva and you feel like you are drowning.
Or the ones with no lips
The ones that have excessively dry mouth
Bad breath?

But NoOne at all?

Is almost like saying I don't like having sex.

Was your first kiss terrible?
Did someone tried kissing you forcibly?
Something is disconnected
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 9
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 11:38:39 AM
While most people enjoy kissing, I'm sure there are some who don't. Those of us who love kissing often mention it in our profiles. It is something you could just specify in the 'About Me' section. Just say that you are not a fan of passionate kisses and leave it at that. You can go into detail if someone asks.

It's like anything else sexual... the majority of people might like something but there are always those who don't. Then again, when you find the right man, you may well change your mind.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 3:58:22 PM

I simply do not like kissing. I don't mind a kiss here or there but making out makes me feel suffocated. And french kissing actually grosses me out. Am I crazy? Is there anyone else like this?



LOL, you don't want "cooties" either huh? Yeah add me to your team. Never was a big fan myself. No you are not "crazy" If you don't like it, you don't like it.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 11
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I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 4:33:02 PM
I don't think this is something that is appropriate for your profile. I think this is the type of personal details that are best left to one to one communication.

Don't worry about how you say it so much, there really is no "right way" to say anything. I think you can ask about it or bring it up yourself in conversation if the interest is there.

I'm not that big on kissing either, not that I don't like it at all, but when it hits your gag reflex and you feel like you're being smothered.....yeah, not at ALL a turn on.

Just be true with yourself about what you like and don't, and don't let other people influence that. There may be some guys you enjoy kissing more than some others.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 5:14:05 PM
My ex didn't like to kiss. He said that he couldn't breath due to his allergies. I don't know about that, as when we were courting and the beginning part of our marriage he had no problem. Then as time progressed, no more smooching. I really missed it, as I LOVE kissing.

So I think you really do need someone who feels the same way about it as you do. Or time to reassess why you don't like it and try to change it. It's your choice.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
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I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/16/2010 5:23:24 PM
OP...you're fairly young...ugh. There are times when that's a relevant factor, I think this may be one.

I think you do know how you like to be kissed, and I think from what you said, if you were with someone like that, then you'd enjoy kissing....HIM.

I think you've been turned off as I have with the...ehh...the slobbering, tongue down your throat...making out...whatever it's called. Not a turn-on IMO.

I do know this, that noone who cares about you would do anything that would make you uncomfortable. If it's a matter of someone that wants different things, then you're both better off looking for someone else.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 14
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 6:36:57 AM
If you do not like kissing, how do you handle affection, intimacy, foreplay, sex? Do you like sex? Are you able to give a BJ? What do you actually enjoy?

I think you need to get to the root of this. Perhaps when you were growing up your parents were not very affectionate, perhaps not. But you need to look at the family of origin dynamics, how your parents related to one another and then to you. Then you need to look at why do you find kissing distasteful and try to remember if there's an episode in your life that may have triggered.

You see, to me not liking kissing is like saying you do not like smiling, and both would be symptoms and the manifestations of deeper things.

Also, in your photos, you have children. How do you like kissing your children? Do you enjoy that? Or is it only the kissing with a sexual context the one that you do not like?
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 15
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 6:38:39 AM
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?


Is there anyone else like this?
Yes. Hookers refuse to kiss their customers. It costs extra.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 16
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 7:46:24 AM
Great post from OutMind. I can't wait to see OP response to that one.
 chargers1984
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 18
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 10:00:30 AM
I have never had any problems getting into foreplay or sex. And it manages to happen. Yes I enjoy sex and although I prefer not to, I will give a bj. I enjoy everything, besides kissing. I have a problem drinking after others too, even if it's a boyfriend. Just the thought of the saliva grosses me out. I have no problem kissing my kids. Like I said, I don't mind a kiss here or there. It's the making out / french kissing that I don't like.

And to those who thought I need to meet guys that feel the same way I do....I've never had a problem trying to get a boyfriend because of this, none of them have ever had a problem with it. And usually I have no problem mentioning it to them as it will come up in conversation or something. What made me ask this was because I recently went on a date where it never felt like a good time to bring it up, so I thought I'd get peoples ideas in case I was in this situation again.

Thanks for all of your ideas!
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 19
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 1:30:48 PM
I think most people enjoy kissing. But what is normal to some people isn't normal to other people.

I dated a guy who didn't like kissing. I generally got a kiss similar to what he'd give his mom. It was a huge turn-off to me ... but I like kissing. He was very stiff (and not in a good way ... lol) and reserved. I felt he had a lot of intimacy issues. He also said he'd never expect a blow job because he wouldn't reciprocate.

Obviously, we are no longer dating ...
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 20
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 5/17/2010 2:45:00 PM

It's the making out / french kissing that I don't like.


I don't like making out, either. So, that makes the two of us. However, I would definitely make out with a hottie. I'm not crazy.
 ExquisiteEccentric
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 21
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 6/14/2010 9:31:45 AM
Theres nasty kissers, sloppy kissers, overly eager kissers... and then theres THE TONGUE SLIP...

There is no reason for a females tongue to slip and slide in a males mouth.. none.. notta!
Ive ended it there with a few pof'rs.. Thats it for me. If the kiss doesnt work its over.
Id get offers like " well lets not kiss and just have sex"... nope! kissing has to be there
during sex.. one i said.. ok.. not to be rude cause your a girl and bla bla guys are suppose to shut up
and deal with it.. I dont like french kissing.. so we tried again..
got back into it and boom.. slithery slim tongue in my mouth.. faawwwk im nautious
i cant finish this message..

haha..
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 22
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 6/14/2010 9:43:48 AM

I simply do not like kissing.

I don't know if it's normal, but everyone I've ever dated loved to kiss and I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't like it or isn't very good at it.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 23
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I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 6/19/2010 8:58:09 AM
honestly the only people i have met that do not like kissing are the ones who where sexually abused as a child, by an older person, like a father, or a teacher
maybe you have deeper issues then you know
 upper_west_side
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 24
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I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 6/20/2010 8:06:50 AM
I love kissing, and if a girl said that she wanted us to date, but with no kissing, then it would be "thanks but no thanks" from me. Kissing the one you love is one of the best things about being in a relationship.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 6/27/2010 9:58:01 AM
I can take it or leave it myself. It's cool as a lead in to build sexual tension, and nice briefly here and there, but mostly it just gets in my way once the sex begins. However I will put up with it for someone else's sake in small doses.
 scottcajon
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 26
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 8/25/2016 10:37:55 PM
I'm starting to learn about myself and I don't think I like kissing. I don't know if it's because it's someone I 'may' not be attracted to... I like the thought of it. But when the time comes, I use mouth wash afterwards.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 27
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 8/26/2016 6:52:37 AM
I don't know anyone that didn't like kissing. However I did know some women that are willing to have sex in a casual / FWB relationship. But not kiss. I felt that was a bit strange because sex is more intimate than kissing.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 28
I don't like to kiss...is this normal?
Posted: 8/26/2016 7:41:43 AM
I've known some of these women, too. They denied the existence of the relationship and played games, but whatevah. Some people have posted here, they find kissing to be intimate. They kiss their parents, their friends, but won't kiss a casual.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I don't like to kiss...is this normal?