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 AUTHOR
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 2
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive...........

You went about this the wrong way. You should have just talked to him about your concerns. Since this profile was YOU, you really didn't catch him at anything, you just set him up. If you tell him what you've done your most likely going to lose him so you might as well own up to it and get ready to move on. It's obvious you have trust issues that you most likely won't get past. Good Luck
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 4
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 7:45:02 PM
Well, hun, you don't say, but is he going out alot without you? Is he spending hours online?

You have to be the one to decide if you can live with somebody you can't trust. Some people do it, but most move on......
 Rebluez
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 5
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 7:46:30 PM
You went to all that trouble, did all that work, invested all that time... and all you're going to walk away with is a little piece of mind that he could be tempted.

Ok, that sounds like the type of ending you were shooting for. No more boyfriend, but you DO have your pride in tact, right?

Feel better?



Bluez
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 6
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 7:49:49 PM
And what did your gut instinct tell you, OP? That there is a possibility that your s/o is foul? Geez. I guess your parents were right all along, eh? Pffft.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 7
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History
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 7:56:09 PM
I find the best way to break up with a lying cheater is to move on. I mean cut off all contact, don't discuss it (if you know you are right what's to discuss?), let him think any damn thing he wants. I'm out of there, for good, never to look back.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 8
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History
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 8:15:49 PM
I'm not defending him (no bashing please), but how is using fake pictures and posing as another person to set him up for something he otherwise might have never done not a lie? What "gut instinct" made you decide to do this in the first place?

Oh, and you didn't "bust him" in a lie. You actively and delibarately encouraged him to do it.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 10
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 8:21:38 PM
You're gonna take a lot of flack for being sneaky and underhanded yourself, being told that the best thing to do when you have suspicions or bad gut feelings about something would be to bring it up with him directly and have a straightforward discussion about it. Normally, would agree that direct honest communication is the best way to go, but attempting to do so with a manipulative dishonest person is futile, and puts you at a distinct disadvantage.

You did what you did, you've seen what you needed to see.... Why are you asking what to do next? Tell him you've lost interest in the relationship, and move on. You don't need to explain why... in fact, doing so would just give him the opportunity to tell you some pretty lies, make some lame excuses... Personally, I wouldn't tell him I caught him either... I'd just let him scratch his head and wonder why, not only did his g/f lose interest in him, but now his "new facebook friend" isn't being very responsive either.

In the future, don't bother sneaking around looking for evidence to back up your gut.... If something feels wrong, it IS, and when you're with the RIGHT guy, you won't have those doubts.
 calisto04
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 11
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 8:36:59 PM

You went to all that trouble, did all that work, invested all that time... and all you're going to walk away with is a little piece of mind that he could be tempted.

No more boyfriend, but you DO have your pride in tact, right?
Ya, walking away with your pride in tact --- that's not worth anything.

Even if she had confronted him, he certainly would have done his best to convince her that it was not true --- make a fool out of her. So ya, walking away with your pride still in tact is actually worth not having a slime bag on your arm.
 *Imperfection*
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 13
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 9:07:26 PM
When you go snooping around or setting up someone, you generally find things out you really didnt want to know not to mention confront. If youre doing that, be prepared to get more than you bargained for. It usually isnt any thing positive.

I think for both of your sakes you need to separate.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 15
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 9:33:39 PM
To be frank, I don't believe OP had a gut instinct as she claim. I think she was just playing a little trick on her s/o, to see rather or not if he would fall for the "bait." Perhaps doing so was a way to come up with an excuse to dump her s/o, because her parents aren't fond of him. Or perhaps OP is just a silly girl with too much time on her hands, I guess I'll go with the latter.

Regardless, I would still like to know what this supposed gut instinct of her's was. Please do tell because an inquiring mind like the one I have, would gladly like to know. So, go ahead and divulge on the details.

However, since you "carried out" the plot of making an apparent "discovery" that is making you sick on the stomach, I think you should confess your little dirty trick to your s/o and see what the outcome will be. As a matter of fact, you probably feel as though you've dug yourself in a deep hole that you won't be able to get out of.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 16
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 10:16:38 PM
Well now you have done it OP!
You found out what your BF is made of
sneaky, sneaky! tsk tsk!
Walk away!
If you try to use the info you got, basically that he'll go after anybody who shows him ANY attention, HE will turn it around and blame YOU.

What you did, it's called entrapment
Doesn't make him less guilty
It doesn't make you look good either
Good Luck!
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 18
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I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/9/2010 11:11:24 PM
I'm guessing your boyfriend is a bit of a dolt? Like out of the four hundred million people on Facebook, out of no where this hot chick picks him? You must pursue this a bit. Set up a date with him....maybe in the next town over. Then tell him your car broke down and you need money to fix it. Like maybe it got smashed up and you need a thousand bucks so you can finally meet him in person....in the next town over again so he has to drive some more. Except this time your (choose a relative who won't mind being passed off for dead) suddenly died and you need money again. But you're too traumatized by the car accident and you have to fly out to the funeral...maybe a few more towns over....but just as soon as you get back you'll "hook up". Actually, make the funeral in a different country, Canada or the US, whatever the case may be and then say you contracted whooping cough from the backward town folk and now they won't let you leave the hospital, or even treat you except to cut of an otherwise healthy limb of their choice unless you send them more money. Then, when you get home, tell him you're pregnant and you're keeping it and by god he'd better send more money or you'll have his azz in court so bloody fast. Have some fun here. It's not entrapment at all. Cops do it all the time on "To Catch a Predator". I guarantee you he'll show up at any address you want dressed in jogging pants, stained tank top, safari hat and sunglasses if you tell him your parents are away and you're just hanging out, doing laundry and drinking iced tea.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 20
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 3:40:39 AM

Oh, and you didn't "bust him" in a lie. You actively and delibarately encouraged him to do it.


How real is this profile OP?

You busting Us?

Set up/Sting?......Aren't you the poo?
Keep testing people and tempting them with YOUR lies.

You don't trust him..move on stop playing around.

Games.

If I don't trust a man I move on.


I busted my boyfriend in a lie.

So you lied first..Wonder who wins?
Not you.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 22
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History
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 4:05:07 AM
it sounds to me like you both have the maturity of 12 year olds
as for you being physically ill, while your at it check out your mental state
mind games, at 24 you should be more grown up
 BentonHarbor
Joined: 3/2/2010
Msg: 23
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 4:05:56 AM
^^^Sadly enought this OP has a history of so many dramatic and crisis-like situations similar to this----read her posting history. I don't know if its tragic, sad, pathetic or simply nutty----none of which are all that good!

OP IF you're into dating guys you don't trust or believe you're somehow "busting" this guy out you're sadly mistaken. Once he discovers your childish trick any respect he had for you disappears. IF neither of you have discussed being exclusive with each other he's simply exploring his options. YOU post photos of a good looking woman and expect him to not at least look and talk? This alone says so much about you, that you have issues far far beyond your sick gut feelings about this three week guy.

I'd have to suggest YOU first get some things understood about you, learn to pick better guys and maybe work on whatever prevents you from avoiding these ongoing mini-dramas you're so often involved in.

Best of luck---lots of hard work ahead of you it seems!
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 24
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History
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 4:28:00 AM
Well at least you now know why he never cared enough to make sure to give you the foreplay you desire or the big O.

Take note guys, this is what happens when you don't fully satisfy your chick. She will go all stealth mode to find a reason to break up with you if lack of an O isn't a valid reason enough in her mind. Heh.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 25
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 4:40:57 AM
Good for you, OP.

What do I do? How do I tell him I caught him?

Dump him. He doesn't need to know why, but I'm sure he can figure it out on his own.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 26
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 5:49:54 AM
This is the guy who SUCKS in bed and can't be bothered to do anything more than jump on, get himself off, and roll off of you, correct? And he sucks so bad at sex that you're faking orgasms lately so as not to bruise his oh-so-fragile ego.

LOL..I find it quite comical that he's practically dry-humping his new "friend" on FB (you). As the new "friend," you ought to ask him how he is in the sack. I'm sure he'll lie and brag about what a "wonderful" lover he is. Bwahahahahaa!! It sounds like most 16 year old boys are better at sex than he is.

Dump his sorry ass. He brings nothing to the table.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 6:14:02 AM

I find the best way to break up with a lying cheater is to move on. I mean cut off all contact, don't discuss it (if you know you are right what's to discuss?), let him think any damn thing he wants. I'm out of there, for good, never to look back.

I agree with this. Once you know what you know is solid, why discuss it with of all people the person who you're having the problem with? Useless. Just plan on a moving day (or a day to clean house) and be done with it.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 28
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:15:37 AM
So I looked at the history of this poster and I noticed that in a recent post (about Weddings) she commented that she's only been with her BF for a month - and that post was made a few days ago.

Many of you are up in arms about him being a "cheater" or this or that. Yet, not a single one of you know the situation - the real situation. By her own words (in her other post) they've only been together a month! So, how do we know this "exclusive" relationship isn't solely the product of her mind? We don't know if it is or isn't. Listen to Alanzo Boden's stand up act on "I'm a boyfriend?"

Did they have "the talk" on exclusivity? Or did she just assume they were exclusive after only a month? None of you know.

Maybe, just maybe, they haven't had that talk. Maybe she is the one assuming they are exclusive while he is, innocently enough, under the impression that they're just dating and still getting to know each other. Maybe he is on the cusp with the OP, but not so sure where it's going, maybe he's on the fence and doesn't want to turn away other options until he is sure. Is that a bad thing? Not hardly.

Of course now the OP will come here and claim that they've had the talk and they've both agreed to see no other people. And, sure it may not take a month to arrive to that point - I've done it in as little as a couple of weeks, other times it has taken much, much longer. My gut tells me to be skeptical that this guy even knows he's supposed to be "exclusive" at this point in time. Maybe he does - maybe he is looking to upgrade.

But my point is - we don't know what the circumstances of this so called relationship.

Granted the OP is immature. But, she is after all, only 24 - so she doesn't have the maturity, the experience or the background in dating that many of us in our +30's do. However, anyone who is willing to set up a sting operation is the same type of person that would swipe your cell phone when you're not looking to go through your messages, break into your email accounts and snoop through any and everything that isn't her business.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 29
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:25:11 AM

Did they have "the talk" on exclusivity? Or did she just assume they were exclusive after only a month? None of you know.

Well, I can be fairly certain that the guy in question didn't tell her that he was still dating other people. If you don't tell someone what's going on, you're letting the other person decide for you.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 30
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:31:27 AM

This 'chick' asked if he had a girlfriend and he beat around the bush


Interesting, because a guy willing to cheat would not beat around the bush, he would just say,..nope, I don't have a girlfriend, especially if she was hot and he wanted her cell to set up a meet.

Was the the same guy you wrote recently about who wasn't good on bed, and your orgasm frustrations? the guy you wrote about before that, who was a bit older than you and the parents didn't like him without even meeting him?

I am a bit surprised you didn't post about your fears and suspicions about him, and ask what to do about it.

If this all real or just an exercise in your fiction writing skills and we are the ginnie pigs?

Lets assume this is all real...here's what you do...go ahead and give out a cell number and set up a meet and confront him, that will shock him good. Besides if you confront him in any way, he gonna know you set him up. How else can you explain this?

Besides at some point he might bail out...how many guys get a hot woman emailing them and putting themselves on the plate for them? Don't get me wrong, asking for a cell number is low...but I wonder how many of either gender when emailed by a "hot" member of the opposite sex might play along to feed their ego a bit...I even had a few women admit this to me.

What defines low or cheating? Some consider it when you meet someone, some consider it having sex or kissing, some think if you flirt too much in a certain way...some consider it if a man looks too much at other women while being with another woman, but if that were true, a woman dressing in a way to get looks while with a man..would be the same thing.

At this point he nibbled at the bait....I think you should play along, and see if he takes the hook....then be there to confront him.

However I don't approve of this type of action..setting traps like that...and I do wonder how many might play along to a certain point feeding their egos only to bail out later.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 32
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:45:40 AM
Why don't you give him your real cell phone number - once he recognizes it, he'll realize what's what - putting the ball in his court.
Or, as another poster suggested, as the fake FB person, you could ask him all sorts of questions about how he is in bed - get graphic - tell him how important foreplay is. THEN give him your cell number. . . kill two birds with one stone!
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 33
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:48:44 AM
OP....you've had some support that you made a fake profile to catch this man...you've had some completely dissapprove. I'm going to go with an assumption here that this was the first time you felt the need to do this...for whatever reason gave you the suspicion in the first place.

Back when I was pregant with my son (he is five now), I had been dating his father for close to 3 years. One day ...after he left my home, I went on my computer and into my history (I had teens and quite often checked their activity)...to find a website www.plentyoffish.com. I had no idea what it was and clicked to find it a dating website!

I was sick...stunned ...etc. I confronted him and was told some bs about him checking the site for a friend...blah, blah...he honestly thought I was this naive. So, thanks to a continued search on my history...I also knew his profile. I had begged him to tell me the truth...here I was 6 months pregnant and if we needed to end it ...then I would have ok with it rather than being cheated on. He continued to lie...make up stories...and also, learned how to delete my browser history after being on my computer.

I made a fake profile....for intimate encounters...and contacted him. He jumped at it and we made plans to meet. That night when he was supposed to meet 'her'...he came up with a story of how he had to help his father with something and left my home. Obviously, she never showed....and his message to her the next day was nasty and even stated how he had left his pregnant gf to meet someone that rude enough not to show (not exact wording...but that can't be printed here). I deleted the account...it had served it's purpose...but not before printing out the pages for evidence. Obviously, I ended the relationship.

So, yes...there are times when doing something like you (me) have done can be helpful...and at times warrented. You found your answers and now you have a choice....you can walk away or confront him with the evidence. Either way...I would move on emotionally....

Personally, I would just walk away. Be the one to break up and do with dignity..you have the confirmation you need to know that he is not a faithful type of person..so confronting seems almost pointless.

Good luck with the next one...there are many great guys out there...!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 34
I busted my boyfriend in a lie.
Posted: 6/10/2010 7:48:44 AM
On one hand, I agree that the first couple months into a relationship it's to be assumed nothing is serious or exclusive unless/until it's discussed and agreed to. To some degree, if it is exclusive or serious that fast then people aren't using their better judgement - no one knows anyone else that quickly.

I also know that there are people who despite this obviousness STILL assume (or wishfully think) that exclusivity is happening from the start. Generally you can tell when someone's got this mindset - so it's wrong not to correct it or address it and clarify that you're on the same page.

It's easy to ignore it and do what you want, but it often doesn't go over real well.
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