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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY      Home login  
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 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 1
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDYPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I was wondering why are kids so needy older kids so needy today, they do not want to start there lives till there mid 20s,they expect the parents to pay for everything
when i was young i wanted to work for my own things, and move out as soon as possible
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 2
WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/11/2010 1:19:45 PM
Nowadays there seems to be little inspiration fostered in kids to leave the nest. Free room, board, cable, cell phones, cars and the like makes it questionable why they would venture forth on their own. Think about it, if you had no responsibilities and someone gave you all of those things, what would inspire you to give it all up?
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 3
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/12/2010 1:38:47 AM
i was mostly bringing up kids that are 16 to say...26,it does not seem to matter if they come from single parents or a family unite
they are needy, some do not want to drive, or take the bus even at 19, i had my car, an old and ugly one, that i paid for myself ,and was driving the first week i turned 16, i paid for it all myself
i see this all the time! no jobs, and even if they have one, the parent(s) are expected to take them out shopping
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 4
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/12/2010 7:27:40 PM
Children ARE coddled so much these days. I work in early childhood and frankly, it scares me how spoiled some children are... dvd
's in the bedrooms of every child, motorbikes for the second birthday, NO is a dirty word. Parents don't know how to set parameters it seems. It is easier to say yes than to hold firm through a tantrum, as an earlier poster pointed out. My kid grew up with totally clear guidelines, plus I teased the cr*p out of her to build a bit of resilience. She moved out this past Feb aged 18 and 3 months

There are, of course, many dedicated parents out there who realise a bit of effort in the first 7 years pays massive dividends- the biggest one being a happy, confident kid who gets that the universe does not revolve around them. Ultimately it's a sad thing as these kids will flounder when they do hit the world of work as they cannot take direction and know little about team work.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 5
WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/15/2010 7:47:13 AM
My old boyfriend thought NOTHING of continuing to pay his 22-year-old daughter's car payment, insurance, cell phone, blah blah blah even AFTER she got married.

He claimed he was giving her and her new husband a "leg up."

In the interim, these two kids were going out to dinner, buying new cars, getting upgraded cell phones, buying designer purses/shoes (at reduced costs), and the list goes on.

I told him he was teaching his kid NOTHING by paying her bills - all he was doing was allowing her to be even more irresponsible by freeing up her money so she could blow it on OTHER things rather than taking over the bills daddy was still paying.

He insisted it made him a "good father." I told him it made him a fool. I'd argue with him constantly that the BEST gift you can give your children is the ability to be INDEPENDENT, not spoiling them by paying their bills long after they should be paying them themselves.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 6
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/15/2010 3:42:07 PM
I also think kids need to be pushed to do things, to achieve and to conquer fear. I know there is a fine line there but I do have an example from my own kid's past. She was 8 years old and school camp was coming up (2 nights away). My daughter did NOT want to go, she said she would miss me too much. I knew she needed to get over that, and also that she would have a blast. I told her she was going, to sry it out of her system now and then focus on the fun things she might get to do. She went, she loved it and said thanks after she got back. She ended up the kind of kid who was organising and booking her own travels by age 15

It is possible I will get told I was cruel for doing this, but it helped my otherwise confident child over a small hurdle that could have become a giant obstacle if not nipped in the bud.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/17/2010 6:57:54 PM

some do not want to drive

My oldest has told me he has no intention of getting a driver's licence... due to his desire to protect the environment. He doesn't want to drive. That might change over the next few years... we'll see.

There are many kids his age that share the same concerns for the environment and feel by not driving, they are doing what they can to help conserve it. I don't see that as being needy. At all.

And just because YOU had something at a certain age, doesn't mean we all have to have the same things. Frankly, I'm glad mine aren't following in my footsteps. I want them to live their life, not redo mine.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 6/18/2010 8:49:47 AM

I'm from Montreal and the public transit is great there. In Ottawa it kinda sucks in comparison and most parents give this excuse as to why they pick their kids up. In some ways I can understand, in others I'm thinking that allowing your kids to find their own arrangements teaches them something.

My parents never let me take the bus anywhere. They always drove us where we needed to go. I got my first job at 15 I think, but lived within walking distance, so it was never an issue. I got my first car at 16 (actually, I was closer to 17), so I got myself from point A to point B on my own. Ok.. now that I think of it, my parents didn't give me an allowance, but I was expected to do things at home. For that I could ask for money from them, within reason. Now that I think about it I think that first job was at 17... and my parents did not want me to get it because they wanted me to focus on school. Same thing when I went away to college... they gave me *pin money* so that I didn't have to work, and that way I could focus on my education. Did I have to be responsible with that money? Hell yes! I had to account for it monthly, and did end up having my budget reduced after a few months.

There's a fine line to balance on... as a parent I want my spawn to have a great life. I want them to learn how to take care of themselves and be responsible for their own actions. I have basic expectations of what they need to be doing. There are punishments if they don't meet those expectations.

And yes. I'd rather drive them to where they need to go. That does't make them needy. That makes me over-protective. Which I freely admit I can be. I'm learning to let go.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 9
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 7/4/2010 8:39:36 AM
My oldest has told me he has no intention of getting a driver's licence... due to his desire to protect the environment. He doesn't want to drive. That might change over the next few years... we'll see.



Nice conviction to have until there is an emergency.

Had a GF accidently swallow a bone and was chocking badly at 11pm at night. I ran every red light in town, but got her to emergency in less than 5 minutes.

My ex-wife was washing a glass and it broke around her arm. Glass sliced her wrist and she was bleeding severely. I wrapped her arm and drove her straight to emergency.

I can't believe I know several single parents that don't have drivers licence. What would they do if their child was hurt and they needed to take them somewhere in an emergency?

Not criticizing, just saying NOT getting a drivers license may be a dangerous thing to do.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 10
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WHY ARE KIDS SO NEEDY
Posted: 7/4/2010 1:01:17 PM
Ummm.
It wasn't like I drove straight thru lights during busy traffic. It was 11pm, and I stopped look both ways and proceeded when I didn't see any cars.
Not saying it was the best thing to do, but when you see someone you care about in distress and you know the hospital is 2 miles down the road, didn't feel like sitting on my thunbs and waiting for an ambulance.

But, not going to hijack the thread on the dangers of running red lights. I just think not getting a drivers licence is extremely short-sighted.
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