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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Is there ANY hope?      Home login  
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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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Is there ANY hope?Page 1 of 1    
The most important thing you need to recognize, is that you can have strong feelings for someone, and that THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING to your life. You say you are hooked on him, and there are lots of fairly obvious reasons for this (read up on how 'womanizers' and other such pathological victmizers appeal to you).
Since he is SUCH a negative influence on you, the best thing to do is be rid of him completely. Get counseling help if you need it, to learn the truth that your feelings, and your "addiction" to him are entirely in YOU, and have nothing to do with him as a person at all.
Is there ANY hope?
Posted: 6/19/2010 12:25:57 PM
so this is a guy you only met a handful of times? and it was four or five YEARS ago? and you think you're in love with him? even when you have access to other men? ay caramba. you sound utterly desperate for something that nothing external could assuage. not the men you can date, not mr. foreign lothario. if you keep communicating, this will only get worse.

has he asked you to fly to visit him yet? on your dime? so he can bang you in a hotel on his lunch break for a week or two, then go home to his wife and kids at night?
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 10
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Is there ANY hope?
Posted: 6/19/2010 7:58:50 PM
Is this a total reverse nice guy thread? The elusive girl who actually like ***holes?

Honey, if you want to stay stuck on an admitted womanizer, who lives in another country, that you apparently always fight with and who thinks you shouldn't be out there banging other guys like he is with other girls....go for it! There is hope. OK, not hope, but fantasy is the next best thing right?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 11
Is there ANY hope?
Posted: 6/20/2010 2:05:34 PM

I'm falling for him, we live in different countries, I don't know if he would ever get serious with anyone to begin with

You're desperate if you've got more than a crush, and are actually falling for someone who lives in another country.

You butt heads with a guy over LD, and thru pen-paling and a past of occasionally seeing each other here or there ... and you're falling for him? LONELY.

What bothers me is he tells me I should not sleep with more than 5 men.

Between now and..... when? That may be good advice within a reasonable time-line, sure. You can tell him that since there's no relationship or commitment going on, sleeping with 2 or 7 guys over the next year or two shouldn't be a factor, since he'll be doing the same with gals.

Do I address how I feel or just let it go and not ruin at least the good conversation we now have?

You're falling for a guy you've been communicating with... that you had a brief semi-past with. He lives in another country. You should tell yourself a few things before talking to him about it.

Realize that it's silly to fall for someone in another country -- get your mind out of high-school land thinking that your life is oh-so-special and different than everything else in the world and more meshes romantic movies that you can pick up at the video store. Realizing that nothing will come of anything in that situation should help you get out of that la-la land of emotions.

Secondly, date other guys. Not sleep with per se (factor that in your comfort zone I guess), but date other guys. Don't let your feelings for a guy on the other half of the world prevent you from meeting other guys or any emotions you may have for other guys.

I would say don't tell him anything. You two have nothing going on... but don't be giddy about emailing, texting, calling, etc. If he does that a lot with you, then yeah, tell him your feelings are too strong for him as odd as it sounds, and it wouldn't be good to talk on the phone... or email or text much. Tell him you need to get your heart & mind in order, that's why... AND don't pine over someone you can only "kinda" have, via email+text+phone!
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 12
Is there ANY hope?
Posted: 6/20/2010 4:34:09 PM
ur profile says u live in Toronto...are there no men at all in Toronto???? unbelievable!


Believe me there are tons of men in Toronto, but most of the women that live here are hung up on some jerk that they hooked up with and is far away and to busy with other girls, who's female emotions here are way out of control and after dating in the 100s in Toronto it's mostly 1 big emotional trainreck.
 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 15
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Is there ANY hope?
Posted: 6/29/2010 12:04:48 PM
The fantasy drive is ruining a lot of women's chances at real love. The phony men who supply the fuel for it are robbing themselves at something real as well.
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