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 plays_outside
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 1
Talking ....way too much!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Met this girl and I am very attracted to her but wow she likes to talk.

After three dates it is very obvious it isn't going to get better and I don't want to see her again. I'm going to call and let her know that it isn't going to work . But should I tell her why?

I was thinking about just saying that I really don't think you are trying to get to know me. Not that there is anything wrong with that...it just is what it is.

Two examples of how much talking....

- First real phone call was 27 minutes ( I remember how long it was because I was shocked) She talked the entire time. She didn't ask me one thing. I even helped insert silences to see if she would ask me something. The only talking did I was the uhhuh ... hum...or asked a question. And then I talked about myself a little bit...it was unsolicited and just felt weird.

- She called just to say hello. And she just talked. She never even asked what I was up to or where I was.

Just weird. I haven't run across many girls like this. And I don't think I want to again.

Similar experiences ?
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 2
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 11:20:31 AM
Some people are talkers
Some people are listeners
Some people are nervous when they meet someone new, so they ...talk!

If you are more on the quiet side
Then she feels like she needs to fill in the silence with words
It wouldn't be bad if she wasn't getting on your nerves
But it sounds like she is

If you don't want to see her again, you don't have to
If she asks you why and you want to tell her do
But if that is just the way she is, she can't change that about her
so you are better off moving on
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 3
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 11:22:41 AM
I don't know OP, I can talk the paint off the walls...but I like to listen too. If you asked about my job, for instance, I could talk for ages - but I'd follow it up by asking you about yours.

Sometimes I think people get nervous and they either clam up totally, or just run on and on and on.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 4
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 11:28:16 AM
I'm not not that much of a talker, so I don't mind someone who talks a lot, unless she ignores the things I do say, or if I say I have to go, and then she keeps on talking and talking. If that happens on a regular basis, I'm done.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 5
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 12:03:30 PM

But should I tell her why?


No. The thing you dislike about her is likely something someone else will love about her. It is sufficient to simply say that you don't feel that there is compatibility.


Similar experiences ?


I run into this a lot with men who are over 40. Some are egotistical and really feel they are carrying on conversation gold (they find themselves fascinating and can't fathom that I wont) and others are just so very, very lonely that when someone listens to them they can't stop talking.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 6
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 12:23:39 PM
What does she talk about? And really 30 minutes is too much? Try 4 hours.

Realize one thing about people that talk too much. They are like a TV. You can control them by simply asking questions and directing the conversation. They will tell you anything and everything.
And remember, he/she who asks the questions is in control, not the one doing the talking.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 7
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 12:53:23 PM
Too much talking is precisely why I quit dating this guy I was seeing. He talked (ranted) incessantly about how much his job sucked -- yada, yada. I never could say a word -- I just sat and watched TV and occasionally grunted. I even put the phone down when someone came to my door -- he never knew I was gone.

It's not just women ...
 plays_outside
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 8
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 12:56:38 PM
I like what you said there :)

But I'm not looking for control just a two way conversation.

The other thing I have noticed...when they talk sooooo much...I can't possibly remember what they have said. First because they have said too much. And second because I tend to lose interest. When that happens my comprehension skills plummet.

Thanks for all of the advice! I am going to call her this evening.
 4rumOnly
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 9
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 1:59:13 PM

After three dates it is very obvious it isn't going to get better and I don't want to see her again. I'm going to call and let her know that it isn't going to work . But should I tell her why?



IMO, you don't necessarily need to tell her why since you've
only been on three dates. Its not like you were in a long term
relationship. Though she might be left wondering "WHY?"
as we all do when we get rejected really, what else can you say
other than "I just don't think we'd be a good match" Or " You
seem like a great gal but I just feel our personalities are just too
different that we probably would not make a good match".


Similar experiences ?


My bf when I first met him outtalked me! ....
My initial impression was 'This guy is either very nervous or
simply likes to talk to no end!" I didn't even remember half
the things he said!!! .... Despite that, I gave him the benefit
of the doubt and agreed to go on a second date. I was sort of
telling myself, if this guys keeps on yapping, he'll probably be
history! Luckily, on the second date, he calmed down a whole
lot more and actually let me have my say. And obviously for
us it turned out to be more than just two dates =)
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 10
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 2:25:34 PM
The talking I can deal with if it's interesting talking.
But the "it's all about me" mentality I can do without.

I have a guy friend I have stopped calling altogther.
I could call with a question about something.......and as soon as he picked up the phone I would have to listen to him drone on and on..(usually some sort of drama)...sometimes repeating stuff he had already told me......and finally interrupt him.
Do these people really think we call them just to hear them talk?
Does it never cross their mind we might have called for an actual reason?!
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 11
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 3:27:36 PM

Just weird. I haven't run across many girls like this. And I don't think I want to again.

Similar experiences ?



Yeah, my first real date. She could let that tongue of hers fly. She turned a 20 minute shopping trip into an 2hour Indiana Jones epic, I mean she talked 2 hours about buying a damn sweater. She was cute though.

I can hang with some talkers though, if they are "deep". the "shallow" talkers are annoying at best.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 12
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 5:30:50 PM
Well, at least you know that she can hold a conversation. Frankly, I can be quiet the chatter box but not to the point where I'm talking someone's ear off.

I just can't stand it when people blab on and on about topics I don't give a flying fig about, and for the most part, it goes in one ear and out the other.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 13
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/21/2010 7:15:18 PM

Similar experiences ?


ALL the frakin time!! When it starts happening, I just clam up and zone out.

I also get these type of oh-so-cultured guys who want to test my intelligence. When that happens I decide to test their sense of humor. The resulting train wreck always amuses me.

Tell her goodbye OP. You'll both be happier with someone more compatible.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/22/2010 6:12:04 AM
Why tell her? She is who she is. People date, and they know that a lot of things won't pan out. Telling her that won't help her in the next situation, where she may be the lesser of the two talkers.

I love it when a guy talks a lot only because I don't have to make an effort, and usually he hangs himself by saying too much. Seldom do I end up dating a guy like this, but he can be entertaining while I drink my coffee!
 KhattyKat
Joined: 4/15/2010
Msg: 15
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/22/2010 3:37:01 PM
I usually get the chatty men they have verbal diarrhea, everything from bitterness over their ex spouse to their time working in a strip joint, either that or I am hearing the gory details about their vasectomy, I just sit there and drink my coffee, I asked one guy do you want to ask me anything, he said no and carried on talking. I am chatty and I don't get many words in. I feel like a Therapist sometimes, maybe I need to charge?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 16
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 6/22/2010 5:55:52 PM
I think it's fine when someone is new to me and they don't go into detail about every little thing until my eyes glaze over, and they aren't repeating things they've already talked about. Getting to know each other should be a dialogue and not a monologue.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 17
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/1/2010 7:24:15 PM
Ever heard of ADHD? Don't bother telling her why unless you ready for another long conversation...
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 18
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/2/2010 11:21:08 AM
Try sticking something big in her mouth and if she can still talk you got a problem I usually dont have.
 MJ Preston
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 19
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/2/2010 1:05:44 PM
yeah....a friend of my ex talked constantly about herself. no matter how hard you tried to steer the conversation elswhere...it always came back to her. called her on it one night. she dominated every conversation with instances from her life and i snapped.

ugh...it was great to see her arse end leave the house...her constant blatting made me nauseous.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 20
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/4/2010 11:22:55 PM

I'm going to call and let her know that it isn't going to work .


ummmm... i dont think its a mans responsibility to call a girl and tell her you`re not going to call her anymore in the first place.

would a woman whom you`ve been calling, go out of her way to call you up and tell you not to bother anymore?
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 21
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/4/2010 11:25:52 PM
Here's an idea... ask her why she's talking so much?
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 22
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/5/2010 1:17:14 PM

After three dates it is very obvious it isn't going to get better and I don't want to see her again. I'm going to call and let her know that it isn't going to work . But should I tell her why?




why bother........... she'll probably talk you to death.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 23
Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/5/2010 3:07:44 PM
Yes, I have had this experience....people who are way to self-absorbed to consider there is anything worth discussing other than what is going on in their feeble little minds. Not worth the time and trouble regardless of other (hmm, hmm) qualities.
 Sweet_Sensations
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 24
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/7/2010 9:46:19 AM
*grinning* I don't think he is even going to have a chance to explain why by the sounds of it. I can understand initial nervous meeting babble....but after awhile one would think she is curious about you.... Obviously she just isn't into you. It has been awhile since the post, what happened...did you even get a chance to tell her it isn't working out?

~SS~
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 25
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Talking ....way too much!
Posted: 7/7/2010 9:51:57 AM
Addendum to my previous reply...if someone talks incessantly or repeatedly about the same thing, especially something I have absolutely no interest in...zzzzz...goodbye.
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