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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Really need good advice and feedback.      Home login  
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 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 2
Really need good advice and feedback.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I think, you should write it all down, make up a happy ending, and sell it to those people who make girly movies.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 3
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 2:13:08 AM
I could not read all of your complete, too long of a confusing question. The part that confuses me most, was when this girl said to you, "she loves you but does not want to get serious." If you "love" someone, you are already serious or delerious.
Sorry, I can't answer your question, it is too confusing.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 7
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 7:22:38 AM
Out of all of the things I could say about your post, I will just comment on this for now:

Why, when her parents would disapprove of your mixed race relationship, would you harangue her for not posting pics of both of you on her facebook account?

Why, if you want to go forward with her, would you do/say behaviours that are calculated to push her away?
 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 10
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 9:19:27 AM
From what you describe I wouldn't of wasted my time with her too long. Honestly your best bet is to move on past her. I've had to deal with a woman that acted like that before, and it never turns out well. And with that kind never take the can we be friends option. My experience is you end up with a person being attached to you constantly that you can't do anything but be platonic with.

Has she always been that way about answering questions? Again I've seen that before, usually means either they don't feel a connection with you, or have something to hide. True relationships are based on honesty and openness, and that doesn't sound like it was one.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 9:44:01 AM
This is what in my family we refer to as n L.E. A Learning Experience. Nothing more or less.
Use what you have been through to figure out what your OWN emotional reactions have or have not meant. Recognize above all that just as YOU have been confused during this, so has she. We all must go through such experiences, to learn many things.
In particular, remember all of the words and phrases you and she have used towards each other, and recognize that they are mostly OTHER PEOPLES words and phrases, which have only occasionally actually had the essential meaning you and she thought they did at the time.
The bottom line of your situation with her now, is that she is NOT ready to settle down with one person. You are not ready either, which is clear from the fact that you have so much logical and emotional confusion in the face of her clear communication that you are NOT in a committed relationship together.
Time for some calm pondering, my friend.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 11:38:39 AM
You are 23 and only dated 7 weeks, it's a short experience with someone
not right for you. What's confusing?, you got to know her and don't like
her behavior, and apparently you weren't too fond of her looks either.
Now you know some things you don't want in a woman, learn from it,
move on and don't bother pretending to be serious when you are still
so young. This is the time in your life to date a lot of people and find
out who you are and what you want, it is not the time to try to force
anything serious, nor tie yourself down.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 15
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 12:03:36 PM
Good post from Igor:

This is what in my family we refer to as n L.E. A Learning Experience. Nothing more or less.
Use what you have been through to figure out what your OWN emotional reactions have or have not meant. Recognize above all that just as YOU have been confused during this, so has she. We all must go through such experiences, to learn many things.
In particular, remember all of the words and phrases you and she have used towards each other, and recognize that they are mostly OTHER PEOPLES words and phrases, which have only occasionally actually had the essential meaning you and she thought they did at the time.
The bottom line of your situation with her now, is that she is NOT ready to settle down with one person. You are not ready either, which is clear from the fact that you have so much logical and emotional confusion in the face of her clear communication that you are NOT in a committed relationship together.
Time for some calm pondering, my friend.

There's a lot you can mine from this experience OP.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 16
Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 2:09:11 PM
Regardless of how this involvement got started, and who did what to who, it sounds pretty over to me, son.
Learn from the experience, but move on. Continuing to entertain hopes that it can be re-invented is just prolonging the suffering on your part.
Basically, I'm not going to assign blame or make any character assassinations on either side of the debacle. It just wasn't meant to be. You need to disengage.I'm sorry for your heartache, but IMO trying to stubbornly hold on,trying to engineer a "do-over" will only lead to more heartache.
Cindy O
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 17
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 2:09:51 PM

...chatting for 2 to 3 months and then 7 weeks of daily sex = bonding...


I am going to have to go with the same thoughts being expressed by a few here..now, my thoughts on the solution/predicament.

OP, time to bandage the wounds, let them heal, and move on.

You would have many obstacles to overcome, particularly with her ethnic/family pressure to contend with. Face it, it would be a very long fight that would involve many emotional battles that perhaps your love is not wishing to fight against.

No one said life was going to be easy.

I'm sorry you were hurt, but do not let this taint your views of women, love, life.
 stone-1
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 20
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Really need good advice and feedback.
Posted: 7/5/2010 4:31:36 PM
Got to agree with the people that reminded you that you didn't really want to be with her...

Doesn't make it hurt less when it stops working...

You are unlikely to get things back on track with her easily...
Pursuing her will just push her farther away...

You may as well take the time to do the other things that make life worth living..
I know that's going to be hard to do after 2 months of constantly being with someone...

Your only other choice is to be miserable... Not much of a choice...
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Really need good advice and feedback.