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 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 3
dating hope for bipolar people?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
You know, anyone can pull out a medical book, look up a few symptoms, and convince themselves they have any number of afflictions. If you are 'reasonably sure' you have some type of issue, then get your butt to a professional and get your suspicions confirmed or denied. If you have a problem, address it to the best of your ability, but don't let it define you. "Imperfect" people find love every day. Having a disadvantage like trouble controlling your emotions may present additional challenges to you in the dating world, but it certainly won't prevent you from doing so altogether. Just don't forget, knowing you have an issue like that really obligates you to do everything you can to address it. Otherwise, you're being really unfair to any potential partners. I wish you the very best.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 4
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 7/22/2010 6:55:34 PM

I'm posting this to hear from people who have had successful, long-term relationships with bipolar/borderline people or from people with the disorders who have had long-term relationships themselves.
Hoping to find some more optimistic results...



Trust me, I never was in a relationship with a bipolar person but I know people close to me who do and they have no problem getting love, i don't see why you would be any different remember also try out "all" avenues. If you say your bipolar on the "internet" people will run immediately, in real life you have a better chance, because people will get all dimensions of you, not just you are on a computer and have some kind of bi-polar condition. good luck.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 7/22/2010 8:57:36 PM
They have a lot of medications out there to help with those suffering from bipolar disorder. Since I have siblings suffering from the disorder, I personally wouldn't want a relationship with a man who is bipolar.

I noticed that some bipolar patience don't even bother taking the medications given to them.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 6
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 7/23/2010 5:45:13 AM
Find a support group and see what they say about this and whatever else.

Plenty of the people who advise to run far and fast probably have some issues of their own, if not this one in particular. Besides, for any non-ideal trait or detail about a man, the standard advice is to run away. That applies to any man who is not tall, dark, handsome, rich, and et cetera. There is a habit afoot to find any possible red flag, real and imagined, reasonable or phobic. On the other hand, for some people, whatever your issue might be, someone is bound to be waiting for it like a kid hoping for candy. The same biology at work making you as you are is at work making others as they are. Mating has never been a matter of only perfect specimens finding other perfect specimens. All kinds match up, and I do mean all kinds. The important thing is to get along well, which can be done in combinations of people having almost any personalities, disorderly or not.

I would guess that if your relationship with yourself and with the world at large is working, then finding a mate should be no more difficult. Keep in mind that women have a resemblance of bipolar disorder built in anyway, following a monthly cycle, be it mild or pronounced, the variability in mood, outlook and behavior swings from manic to depressive. Men date women all the time. I'm not sure a woman would even notice unless your behavior was especially emphatic one way or another. In fact, you might be more attuned to your emotions and the variability of your perceptions than are most men without as wide a range. You may notice I have betrayed my ignorance about bipolar disorder here, but that's OK. I get to do that because of my own disorder.

We're all made with something to understand and accept about us, or what else is love for?
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 7
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 7/23/2010 6:02:24 AM
you can't help it that you're bipolar, just like most other folks can't help it that they don't have what it takes to try to sustain a long-term relationship with somebody who's bipolar. so it's a completely useless exercise to find an inadequacy in others for not wanting to deal with a problem that is entirely your own. it's also completely useless to draw any inferences between their honesty in saying so, and your own most recent break-up. the two are completely unrelated except based on general circumstance. it's okay to feel bad after a breakup, but if you are going to feel bad about it, i think it should be for reasons that are actually relevant to your personal situation.... not because somebody on the internet said "run like your pants are on fire" when it comes to dating bioplar people.

i had a long-term relationship once with somebody who is bipolar, but how you define "success" is open to debate. was it successful because it endured for almost 3 years, or was it successful because it ended without us killing each other and are still friends?

from all that i have read and experienced, biopolar is largely a manageable condition that typically requires a combination of pharmaceutical/professional support and a very pro-active approach to learning how to manage your conscious reaction to your own shifting moods. the second part is especially challenging, because it's hard to do and because even most so-called normal people are not willing to make the effort for any level of self-examination.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 7/23/2010 11:03:40 PM
Like motown girl I was involved with (married to) an officially Bipolar woman, for twenty years, before SHE dumped ME. Now, there were more bad times than good, especially in the second ten years, so getting RE-involved with a bipolar woman would not be my first choice.
And I especially agree that there is probably hope for EVERYONE out there, including necrophiliacs, but that how EASY it will be is far from guaranteed. For everything that's unique about you, there will be people who wont get involved with you, whether that uniqueness is officially "good, " or "bad."
Whatever your handicap is, the best shot you will have at developing a positive LTR with someone, is if you accept responsibility to deal with who you are, so that they can have a relationship with YOU, and not just with your handicap.
 JaMisOn36
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 10
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/15/2010 10:08:11 AM
Hey brother,
I also have bipolar and there is a terrible stigma that comes with it. What the people that are not educated in it and I'm not saying it's a bad thing because if you don't suffer from it then why would anyone be. Anyhow I just want you to know I feel the same way. From reading what you wrote you seem like me to function and communicate well. It's hard man. And what alot of people don't know is there is a lot of artistic talent that comes with it. Ben stiller and a huge amount of other famous people suffer from the same. What the hard part it as for me is a lot of women want men that truly have money and other fun things in life that some of use don't have. Unfortuantly and I speak for myself it's difficult for low income people SUCH as I to get the best help so we do what we can. But if it makes any difference I am told there is hope and for people young like us we have time as long as we can hold on. It's a pity some people don't know all of our accomplishments through the difficult dark periods we have endured. Your not alone in you thinking my friend.
 NiceandEdgy
Joined: 7/13/2010
Msg: 11
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/16/2010 10:41:53 AM
When it comes to any illness you are either part of the solution or part of the problem, and if you are part of the problem prepare to be single for the rest of your life. If you are part of the solution then you manage your illness with all tools available to you and live a good life to the highest extent possible.

I was married to a woman with BPD for 16 years and it was not a pleasant experience. She was very negative, unreasonably judgmental and reclusive. In the end she diagnosed herself as fine and everyone else as messed up. I got out quick after that.

I have a physical illness called CFS and I have Fibro. I take care of myself to the highest extent possible and am able to live a fairly active life because of it. With my illness I am part of the solution.

We all have issues/illnesses, so we ask ourselves... am I part of the problem or am I part of the solution...
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 12
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/16/2010 3:00:32 PM
Bipolar is often over/mis diagnosed..Lazy medicine..5 doctors 5 different diagnosis.

So is fybromyalgia..Most docs don't know what it is much less a cause or treatment.

What ever you have it can take years/many opinions and tests to diagnose and it can take a while to find the right meds that work for you.

Some "issues" can be controlled with proper medication and living a lifestyle that makes the condition better.
Healthy diets and low stress.
I would concentrate on that before looking for a serious relationship.

You are not doomed for a loveless life that is not rich in many ways.
Educate yourself and read all you can ..I would not take one opinion and don't give up.

Good luck.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 14
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/18/2010 7:58:46 AM
Im sorry you are going through a hard time. But many people do wish to avoid having high drama in their relations with others, and will not wish to be involved with a bipolar. And they have the right to set limits on what they will be involved with, knocking those who choose to run wont do any good. I know i dont want high drama or to pander to someones unstable and potentially moods. Do you have a grip on your disorder & moods? Can you cope with the lows in a healthy way that doesnt harm yourself or others? do you engage in risky outlandish behaviors when on a mood high? If you have a down phase are you going to punch your partner, call her names, & blame her for all your lifes issues? Are you codependant, do you thrive on drama? Do a lot of self examination before you jump into anything.
 Paula764
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 16
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/11/2011 12:33:17 PM
Whatever you do, my advice is if you find someone you fall in love with and who falls in love with you, and you trust eachother, make sure you tell her you're bipolar. Unfortunately, after 7 months together my boyfriend (who I met online) was forced to tell me because he had an episode. We're still together but it's ripping me apart that he didn't tell me as I thought he knew me well enough to know I wouldn't 'run a mile'. He was taking his meds in secret and had I known I would have spotted the signs of his imminent episode and had him down the doctors to nip it in the bud.

People are who they are whether they have a mental or physical illness or neither. I have some serious thinking to do yes because I have lost some trust in him but when push comes to shove he is a decent kind man. He's a been a bit of a pain in the bum to put up with over the last few weeks but hey, what man isn't??
 The_Song
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 17
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/13/2011 11:03:15 PM
I've dated a girl that i'm pretty sure was bipolar, its fine as long as you know when to give them there space and ignore there mood swings. Sometimes its pretty weird thou, I remember when we where living together and she ask me during one of her mood swings why I was there at my own home... its like ok... i'm here because its my house.

In the end it really depends on how much you like the person and if the highs outweight the lows in the relationship
 Jammone
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 18
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:27:51 PM
Relationships are about meeting eaching others emotional and physical needs. I suggest you buy the book "His needs, Her needs" and study it. Don't just read it through once, but really work on it. Bi-Polars are able to meet a womans emotional needs almost as well as anyone else, and if you make an effort to do so you are doing more than most men are. If you meet a womans needs she will stay with you. Focus on your stengths and the positive things in your life and not the negative. I need medication in order to remain stable and I find the depakote and a little bit of abilify is doing it for me. Make sure you are visiting your doctor regularly and stay on the prescribed medication, only switching meds after talking to the doctor.

Reaching a fine, subtle balance when you suffer from bipolar can sometimes be just out of reach. You have to learn how to deal with the frustration, the distress that comes with the illness and the lack of control all in one and learn to let go of it. Learning to surrender is all a part of it.

The human condition is also a great teacher. It teaches us that human beings suffer needlessly, life is unfair and that sometimes bad things happen to good people and there’s no reason that anyone can come to for why this happens. We can’t explain it only see it, the illness as a blessing in disguise. It has taught us all so much about love and acceptance. Lessons we wouldn’t even have conceived of if it didn’t happen to our family. Every family has heartache of their own and their own problems that they deal with.
Take care of you, and keep strong!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 19
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/23/2011 12:47:49 PM

I suggest you buy the book "His needs, Her needs" and study it.


Is this a book about bipolars?

I would like to understand this a lot better.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 20
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/23/2011 4:28:19 PM

biopolar is largely a manageable condition that typically requires a combination of pharmaceutical/professional support and a very pro-active approach to learning how to manage your conscious reaction to your own shifting moods


So true.In fact OP, if you were actually diagnosed by a doctor, a medical doctor, you wouldn't be here asking such a question. You would be working on yourself and retraining your thinking. It's part of the process.

Personally, I have found too many people telling me that they are "bi-polar" because they are using it as a reason/excuse for their own PERSONAL actions. Get reading and goggling OP. You have a long way to go before inviting someone into your life. YOUR question here is enough reason to believe this is the truth.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 21
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:14:08 PM
Sorry to infringe; can you tell me what bipolar is? I been living in a shell!
 VeiledInveigler
Joined: 4/15/2011
Msg: 22
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:35:12 PM
A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia.
Bipolar disorder
Manic depression; Bipolar affective disorder

Last reviewed: March 29, 2011.

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very quick.

from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001924/
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 23
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:09:02 PM
Polarized mood swings, gotcha.
Have you ever tried marijuana?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:19:19 AM

So true.In fact OP, if you were actually diagnosed by a doctor, a medical doctor, you wouldn't be here asking such a question. You would be working on yourself and retraining your thinking. It's part of the process.


Even before getting diagnosed, if you follow the patterns you need to then have it checked. My Ex was bipolar, when we slip one time, I began to research what was going on. First I found out that while undergoing Chemo and receiving high dosages of steroids her moods would spike and we would have out of this world fights. When she was done with the cancer, she followed all the symptoms, from the manic hyper happy moments, to the lows so lo that she couldn't get out of bed. I told her that she may wanted to check for bipolar, but she took it as me insulting her. So half a year later after we split, she began to see a therapist that diagnosed her. The whole sense of discovery sent her through a devastating tail spin so she went to a psychiatric center, where they adjusted her medication, went through some intensive group therapy, and now she is in much better meds. It turned out that some of medication that she took before, like the Steroids have atomic bomb effects on bipolars. So, if you suspect it, read all the literature on it. If it describe you, go seek professional help immediately.
 LynWhos4U
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 25
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/25/2011 3:22:55 PM
I feel if you can admit being a Bipolar person and take meds than your smart enough to stop using Bipolar as an excuse. Because Bipolar is away for someone to use an excuse for there uncontrolable temper, or emotions ,to hurt themselves, or hurt others. It's a pore excuse for someone that knows what they are capable of, there own actions of conflict and low self esteem.Bipolar is all in your head. If you know from wright and wrong! Then you know your consequences. And you can control it if you really put your mind on focus. Instead of finding something like saying Bipolar! Thinking you can get away with things you allready know better of what not to do. Instead you do it any ways because you can use the word Bipolar. It's not a virus or disease. It's a pore weak excuse on not trying to fix your uncontrolable temper or rage.And taking all kinds of medication just makes it worse for your body to junction normally.:jumper
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 26
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:07:55 PM
I don't know what is a bipolar disorder, if I dated some guys that are afflicted with that disease is I don't know. Or I have some friends with that disease.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 27
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:11:22 AM
Bipolar is just another disorder that you can keep under control, like diabetes. Take your medication, and tell someone when you feel something's going out of control. The problem I have is with people who think they can beat it on their own, and wind up going on a manic five day spree with no sleep. That would make any of the rest of us nuts.
Repeat after me: Take the medicine. Take the medicine. Take the medicine. Take the medicine.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 28
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:00:15 AM

Take the medicine. Take the medicine. Take the medicine. Take the medicine.


So what happens when they take their meds AND they are still picking little fights. Is it then more just the real personality of the person? Any thoughts anyone?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 29
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dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:16:47 AM
Wouldn't it make sense to date someone else with bipolar? They'd understand what it's like and then also see how it is for the other person.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 31
dating hope for bipolar people?
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:04:48 PM
get to know the person...then tell them......
people are ignorant and do not understand...
they are not informed..
i have had two relationships...
and they both have been healthy and good relationships .....

i take my medicine every day... it is something that must been done
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