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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Wants to cum from BJ but can't      Home login  
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 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 2
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Wants to cum from BJ but can'tPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Then perhaps you arent as good as you think
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/26/2010 11:15:04 AM
You need to let him know how much you want that to happen, and nothing but that!!

Many men hold back because they do not know if you enjoy having them explode in your mouth, or if this is just foreplay to intercourse. Some women want to give head, enjoy that and do not want to have more at that time, and others use it as a tool for the next stage of sex.....

Talk about it before you start, and then tell him exactly what you are expecting, and want from him. It is always nice to have good head for just the sake of that pleasure, but it is only good if wanted by both equally.........

cd........
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 6
Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/26/2010 11:34:17 AM
The only way to solve this problem is to give him head every day for at least 1 year straight.

If it doesn't work after all that time, double the effort.

 kojaks488
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 8
Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/26/2010 3:50:19 PM
I was in a similar situation with my ex. Firstly, I've never cum from a BJ before either. Second, I usually go soft during BJs, but we'll get to that in a minute.

For me my head is quite sensitive. All of my previous partners tend to focus a lot on the head, which is almost painful to me. It doesn't matter how much I tried to explain that.. they must not have believed me. I much prefered sensation at the base, but again even spelling it out for it word for word wasn't enough.

Now my ex was the only one I was with long-term. So she was the only one I encoured 'practice' with. However, getting soft made her feel bad, which made me feel bad, and so it probably became a very psychological problem for me.

Of course that's more honesty than I gave her. She doesn't take news like that well..
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 10
Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/26/2010 10:46:54 PM
Op: I have the same problem sometimes, just doesn't do it all the way for me; also afraid of choking them. Sometimes it can happen, usually when I am brought close to orgasm from other means. Maybe try that, when you know he's almost but not quite there you can do it; after a time he should have no trouble.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 11
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/27/2010 2:24:31 AM
Lots of good stuff on here: and sensitization with relaxation is the key. Some guys feel guilty when girls are working on them, but they arent working on her. Other guys, and I kind of fit in here; I want to give her as many orgasms as she can possibly comfortably have; but I know that if I come, sexual desire drops dramatically; and I'm down for a bit; so I've trained myself NOT to come too early; which is in essence training myself not to come. My advice would be for the woman to get all she's looking for, and then make it be known that from here on in, it's all for, and about him.
This should help him to relax, and know when and where he can relas and cum. The other possibility is that he simply isnt getting the type, and level of stimulation, that he needs to get there. Girlfriend my need to be a bit more aggressive, and pound on that thing; jerking it hard into her mouth. The critical step is that once you get him over the crest, and about to orgasm...DONT CHANGE ANYTHING!!! So many times I've been very very close, and for whatever reason, she changes something; either intensity, frequency, or motivation. When a guy gets close; let the building burn before you alter anything you are doing!

Besides asking him what he likes; especially if he has trouble telling you, is to watch porn together. Open a bottle of wine, and break out, or pull down, the porn. Go to the BJ section that appeals to him the most. Watch whats going on when hes says...Oh that's hot! Ask him what he likes. It's sometimes very difficult to tell someone they need to change something, when they're working their ass off. Find the BJ vids HE likes, and try to imulate them.

If you've asked what he likes, and you are trying to do what he wants; but its not getting there; then he, for whatever reason, isnt communicating well what he desires. At that point grab the porn and feed him a couple of beers to loosen him up, and just whatch what he watches that does it for him.

Enjoy
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 13
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/27/2010 7:17:30 AM
Do not take it personally.........and do not let people here convince you aren't
good at it.
Some men just can't get there from oral. He is right........it's him not you.

Best suggestion here is to have him masturbate into your mouth.
Pay attention to "how" he does it......does he concentrate more on the head or more on long strokes, etc.
Then next time incorporate more of your hands with the BJ......and do what he did to get himself there.

vvv........because grown adults know sometimes no matter how great the technique....the mental part of sex can get in the way.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 16
Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/27/2010 11:13:08 AM

My Boyfriend says I give him great blowjobs but yet he can't cum from one. He really wants too he gets close to it. I can feel him tense up like he's ready to blow but nothing happens in the end. He told me he has never cum from one in his life but I am the only one who has gotten him really close to it. He tells me it's more him then me. he said it is a mental thing. I am going to try and talk to him about it this weekend. I was just wondering if any other guy has experienced this and is there anything I can do to help him? Also are there any woman who have helped a man overcome this problem? I have told him that I am totally comfortable with him cumming in mouth. I also really enjoy giving him head I am often down there for about 1/2 an hour or more and he loves it but at the end I just get on top of him so he can get off.


why is that so "important" ?

is it important to him, or to you (so you feel proud he can do it?) because it's "supposed" to be 'better' for guys that way? not every guy is the same you know. not "every" guy likes BJs

If he can cum in your **** and you both really enjoy sex that way, why mess it up?

humans have an incredible capacity to over-complicate things and take things that are not broken & try to 'fix' them..
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 17
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/27/2010 4:12:09 PM

Then perhaps you arent as good as you think

Haha brutal.

Though not necessarily true.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 19
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/28/2010 3:14:01 AM
As everyone here knows, I do NOT ever engage in any oral contact.
Why is it so important, you make your boyfriend come via of blow job?
My opinion, it feels much better if a man is in your vaginal when he comes.
Why do you want to do all this extra work, where and when that, you are NOT getting any sexual, physical, pleasure in return while giving him BJ?
My opinion is he should be doing something to make you come, instead of you
" being down on him for a half hour and then just getting on top of him, so he can get off". What about you "getting off"?
I am really trying to understand people like you, that think this is so important, but I will never change my opinon of the, "NOT engaging in any oral contact."
Here is my opinon, and I will be as kind as possible. I think you are submissive. I think, that you think you will get a guy to love you if you do special sexual things. This does not work, I have read. I think you don't enjoy sex, because all you care about is "getting him off". Seems more like a duty. Really you should get some pleasure too. The way you described everything, it is all and only about him getting off.
My opinion, everyone should get to enjoy sex.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 22
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/28/2010 7:56:43 PM
As everyone here knows, I do NOT ever engage in any oral contact.
Why is it so important, you make your boyfriend come via of blow job?
My opinion, it feels much better if a man is in your vaginal when he comes.
Why do you want to do all this extra work, where and when that, you are NOT getting any sexual, physical, pleasure in return while giving him BJ?
My opinion is he should be doing something to make you come, instead of you
" being down on him for a half hour and then just getting on top of him, so he can get off". What about you "getting off"?
I am really trying to understand people like you, that think this is so important, but I will never change my opinon of the, "NOT engaging in any oral contact."
Here is my opinon, and I will be as kind as possible. I think you are submissive. I think, that you think you will get a guy to love you if you do special sexual things. This does not work, I have read. I think you don't enjoy sex, because all you care about is "getting him off". Seems more like a duty. Really you should get some pleasure too. The way you described everything, it is all and only about him getting off.
My opinion, everyone should get to enjoy sex.

Are you trolling, or do you actually lack this much understanding? Did oral sex burn down your playhouse as a little girl or something? What's your deal? Do you really not understand people wanting to please those who please them?
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 24
Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 11:00:52 AM
^^


First off I want to thank everyone who gave me useful advice. Thank you. Second for the woman who seems to think it is my lifes mission to get my man off you are wrong. This is something that my boyfriend really wants to experience for himself. Why wouldn't I try everthing in my power to help him get there.

I love this man and I love to see him relax and have a great orgasam.

As he does with me he always takes care of me first in the bedroom he is no selfish man thats for sure.

Love and sex is a 2 way street and he has helped me overcome a few issues that I was having in the past with sex. So now it is my turn to to do the same for him and I don't mind at all. In the end if it never happens it won't be the end of the world we still have great sex and know how to enjoy eachother. Also I never give him a blowjob because I feel like I have to. I want to see him in bliss and I love it just as much as he does it is a huge turn on for me. He is the most craring and loving man that I have ever seen. He does so much for me and I am not just talking about sex. So if he wanted a blow job everyday he would get it from me with pleasure. Well that's all I had to say for now and once again thanx for the good advice I am sure it will come in handy this weekend.


just wondering ..so he DOESN'T "relax and have a great orgasm" when he f*cks you & cums in your pussie? or?

welL I guess you said he does.. like you said, a BJ isn't the be-all & end-all.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 25
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 11:31:18 AM
OP, it is a pleasure to hear you say " I want to do somthing thats nice for the one you love!!!"""

THAT MY DEAR SAYS IT ALL, I tip my hat that your behavior to provide pleasure to someone you love is just "because you love them".

At 54 it is nice to hear that on this sight, you give hope to most of us who are scarred from past relationships..................there are people that still show love without a payback.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 26
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 11:42:27 AM

Hmmm, different strokes for different folks... I'm sub and I enjoy sex and I really enjoy getting him off... it is not a "duty" - I enjoy giving pleasure because when I give, I receive.... and there's nothing I enjoy more than watching him lose himself in the sensations that I create. When I take him in my mouth, I can tease and torture... tickle and taunt... it pleases him, but it pleases me more.


I enjoy sex as well, and someone with a no oral rule would never even make it bear my bedroom. I simply love giving and recording oral. As quoted, me giving oral is just that. I love giving a woman pleasure through oral, and it's sooooo intimate, knowing I'm driving her wild with every flick of my tongue etc etc. There's nothing selfish on her part, as the reverse is always true.

I love losing my mind as a woman goes down on me. Nothing beats a nice deep throat, and it's adoreable if they gag a little and their mascara runs a bit.


:devil;




Like another person said, I'm sorry oral sex burned down your playhouse as a kid. Luckily not everyone has hangips and issues. Kudos for posting it on your profile, as I would know to avoid you, if I lived nearby.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 27
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 12:01:48 PM
As others have said.. What's your deal Cats Eyes. You try to come across as some sort of sexy vamp thing with this strange goth kind of look, we honestly can't tell what you look like. Then you have a pretty strict list of requirements. Myself, I'm a 32" waist, 198lbs etc etc. I'm half decent looking and like others who it your physical requirements, which puts us into a fairly desireable category, there is no way I'd even think of considering someone who doesn't do oral. Anyone fitting your description of what you want, could have pretty much the pick of the litter around these parts, so again, why would they choose someone with such a disdainful attitude towards oral sex.

Was there something or someone who caused this? An unpleasant experience, whether hygienic, or just how it went down? Did someone brick all over you without warning? Why does every man you plan to be with have to pay or the sin of someone else?

I think you should get some professional help to maybe get over this roadblock.

But hey, good luck with it.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 29
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 4:21:57 PM

And cumming from mouth alone is difficult unless someone is especially talented - most women can't seem to generate the speed, which is why hand combined with mouth is practically a necessity for me.


Men have a tendency to masturbate like they are trying to pump water out to put out a bomb fuse..a skilled woman will use her mouth, hands, (albeit muffled) voice to have their man climax.

THAT is a woman worthy of a long tongue lashing.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 31
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/29/2010 10:08:53 PM

most women can't seem to generate the speed, which is why hand combined with mouth is practically a necessity for me.


Hmmmm.......maybe you are making yourself numb from too much frantic jerking.....
cuz I guarantee you.........speed has nothing to do with my ability to make a man
cum with my mouth!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 33
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Wants to cum from BJ but can't
Posted: 7/30/2010 7:30:26 AM

Hmmmm.......maybe you are making yourself numb from too much frantic jerking.....
cuz I guarantee you.........speed has nothing to do with my ability to make a man
cum with my mouth!



I agree. You aren't trying to build a fire. Sometimes slow and steady wins the race.



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