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 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 1
Smoking while having sex?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
erm, a bit of personal history

a few months ago I was dating a woman who smoked cigarettes. It was my fault, I never should have done that, since I hate smoking.

I succumbed in a weak moment, she came on to me basically & asked me out, and I was too weak to resist or tell her no I was not interested. Anyway at the time it seemed like decent possible company, better than none, and also a possible sexual outlet, better than my hand all the time.

Anyway cut to the chase, we did go out for a while, things were OK, we could relate, talk,and had pretty good sex, though her smoking was an irritant, I could most often leave the room, or leave the house while she puffed.

the smell of smoke on her caused a slight gag reflex in me, but I tolerated it for a while.

anyway, to get to the point:

One night we were having sex, a few different positions it was all good , we both orgasmed a couple of times

then after a bit of a rest period, I got her rolled onto her side & got behind her, in what I cal the "spoons" position (both on our sides, me behind her and entering her from behind

we got into a slow rhythm, sort of that slow, relaxed, sensual love-makingin a relaxed position, not too feverish -it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes, when she reached over to her bedside table & picked up a cigarette, & lighter

and LIT UP while we were doing it- & smoked
I could hardly believe it! I was quite revolted & saddened.

anyway since that time we have drifted apart & I haven't really talked with her much, or seen her.
don't think I'll EVER date another smoker again.

now my question to you POF people is this:

would you find it disgusting/revolting if someone lit up a cigarette DURING the sex act? would it be cause for a break-up, esp. if not a really serious relationship, and FB type thing?

esp. if you were a non-smoker, and the other person KNEW that you are basically disgusted by smoking?
 21stcenturymind
Joined: 7/12/2010
Msg: 2
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 4:33:58 PM
Hey, if the sex is good then you should be happy. I'd rule out kissing her afterwards though.

The only thing that I see for concern is the matter of fire safety. Keep a fire extinguisher handy.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 3
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 4:36:45 PM
Could have been worse. She could have filed her nails or started reading a book...

Still.. ugh.

I won't date a smoker.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 4
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 4:43:35 PM

Hey, if the sex is good then you should be happy.

I'd rule out kissing her afterwards though.

The only thing that I see for concern is the matter of fire safety.

Keep a fire extinguisher handy.


true the kissing part is really bad -nasty she would almost stick her tongue down my throat sometimes & it could feel like it was COATED with some furry skanky shite

you're right, I was a bit concerned about the fire safety issue, I think once or twice in the middle of the night she lit up too while I was sleeping _I asked her if she ever smoked in bed much, could fall asleep &burn to death -one of the leading causes of house fires.

I didn't like sleeping withe her after much, but she pretty much insisted on it, didn't want to have sex, then have me leave to go back home to my place.


Could have been worse. She could have filed her nails or started reading a book...

Still.. ugh.

I won't date a smoker.


true, but she was enjoying the sex, not 'bored' per se, just wanted 'another ' pleasure at the same time I guess?

you're right though, UGH. from now on, never again -NO smokers!

It was always at her house, I told her she was NEVER going to smoke in my house, so if she thought she had to have them, we better meet at her house, she was only in mine a few times for a little while, not overnight, etc.

also she had/has a 14 year old daughter & didn't like to be away from home too much
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 5:25:27 PM
I've had smokin' sex before

slow, relaxed, sensual love-makingin a relaxed position, not too feverish -it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes, when she reached over to her bedside table & picked up a cigarette, & lighter
I'm just guessing you didn't have her full attention.

Bottom line: actions speak louder than words; and what she did there spoke volumes.

I'm not harshing on you. You may be a truly incredible and talented lover; but none of us can be "incredible" with everyone; we're all too different, with wide varying likes and dislikes; and you and she were obviously not a good sexual match.

We ALL like to find blame with the other person for why a situation didn't work out. The deal is that sometimes it's just not a good fit. To answer your question; I don't do smokers either; it's a filthy habit. However, the smoking didn't "cause the breakup" it's the attitude behind it. Whether she ever lit up or not, you guys were not a good match.
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 6
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 5:32:56 PM
^




slow, relaxed, sensual love-makingin a relaxed position, not too feverish -it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes, when she reached over to her bedside table & picked up a cigarette, & lighter
I'm just guessing you didn't have her full attention.

Bottom line: actions speak louder than words; and what she did there spoke volumes.

I'm not harshing on you. You may be a truly incredible and talented lover; but none of us can be "incredible" with everyone; we're all too different, with wide varying likes and dislikes; and you and she were obviously not a good sexual match.

We ALL like to find blame with the other person for why a situation didn't work out. The deal is that sometimes it's just not a good fit. To answer your question; I don't do smokers either; it's a filthy habit. However, the smoking didn't "cause the breakup" it's the attitude behind it. Whether she ever lit up or not, you guys were not a good match.


thanks, probably a good point, thought she did claim she really loved our sex and the screaming, moaning and multiple orgasms would seem to confirm it.

BUT those were all in other positions, esp her on top, or doggie, or bent over a table , etc.

I must admit she didn't like the spoons position much, but I did.

perhaps she was sending a message not to do it that way?

anyway it doesn't matter, I am better off WITHOUT a smoker in my life :)
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 7
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 5:56:39 PM

...it was going on for quite a while, at least 20-30 minutes..

Yeah, I would have probably reached for my People Magazine at that point. She just chose a cigarette instead.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 8
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History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 6:56:01 PM
I always smoke during sex...(cigarettes have NOTHING to do with it!!)

laffs...

O.P. You must have been one boring piece of ass if she felt the need to lite up during..maybe she wasnt aware of you being "in" anymore.

cigarettes are a filthy disgusting habit...I try to avoid people who smoke them .
I especially dont sleep with men who do.


ok! I will hush now! (maybe)


thanks, probably a good point, thought she did claim she really loved our sex and the screaming, moaning and multiple orgasms would seem to confirm it.


you sure it wasnt her hacking and coughing and spitting up phlegm??
HAHAHAHAHA...ewwwww..gross
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 9
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History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 6:59:40 PM
Way back when.......
I smoked a joint while a guy performed oral on me ....per his request!!
Quite an enjoyable experience!!

But to light up during intercourse.......HA......as someone said before
Actions speak louder than words!
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 10
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 7:04:04 PM
Use lube and slow down.

Oh..this is about cigarettes.

From your story I suppose she realized she had succumbed in a weak moment, asked a man who she really didn't want, because she mistakenly thought he would be better than nothing, then when the sex turned out to be worse than nothing she lit up a cigarette but he still didn't take the hint. The dumb **stard kept right on going. Imagine that.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 7:12:10 PM
Use lube and slow down


Thank you!! I will try that!





 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 7:32:21 PM
Really?????

Was she that uninterested or that starved for nicotine?
 Aznuom1982
Joined: 1/15/2010
Msg: 13
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 8:03:07 PM
Just dont drop your ash on her haha! that will hurt
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 14
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 8:26:46 PM

Excuse me OP, but haven't you switched sexual preferences since last I checked... since when do you do women?


I was wondering the same thing.....
 MrABQ87114
Joined: 7/29/2010
Msg: 15
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 9:07:52 PM

would you find it disgusting/revolting if someone lit up a cigarette DURING the sex act?

Depends.
Depends on how leathery her skin was from smoking.
Depends on if I had to pay extra.
Depends on if they were menthol.
Depends on if she blew smoke out of the hole in her neck she just used to go down on me.

Personally I find it kind of a turn on. Like a challenge. Like "I'm kind of bored and my mind is going to my addiction, so step it up so this flies out of my mouth from pleasure and sets my curtains on fire."
Hot! (pun intended)

I knew someone that used to grab a magazine in the middle of sex with her boyfriend, she felt she was obligated to have sex for the sake of the relationship but really wasn't into it so got bored pretty fast.


would it be cause for a break-up, esp. if not a really serious relationship, and FB type thing?

No. If I broke up with someone for being a smoker, and I knew they were a smoker going into it, then I would simply be a hypocrite. I would look for something to blame that doesn't make me a hypocrite. Like ass hair, or her cooking, or my feelings for an ex.
Or I would go to online forums to get people to validate my decisions so I wouldn't feel so bad about being a hypocrite.


esp. if you were a non-smoker, and the other person KNEW that you are basically disgusted by smoking?

So what if they KNEW I was basically disgusted by smoking? I didn't have to start this little dance. I don't think it's their job to change their life according to my comfort, tolerances, or preferences.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
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History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 10:44:45 PM
LOL omg that is soooo brutal. Yeah that wouldn't fly with me. I mean smoking is fine, and it's great to have a hobby, but if you can't last a few hours without one, you have more problems than you think.


LOL


FAIL!


:facepalm:
 Rebluez
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 17
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/5/2010 11:46:36 PM
"Do you smoke during sex?"

"I dunno, I never look..."

lmao


Ok, old joke, but somehow seemed uber relevant.




Bluez
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 18
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 5:54:32 AM
"I do recall one particularly lousy lay that went on way too long... I reached over to the nightstand and deliberately lit up a smoke."
Oh, so you've met the OP? :-)

I smoke and I find that disgusting... I have never encountered such behavior, nor would I smoke DURING sex.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 19
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 6:57:33 AM
Hey OP you may have met a multitasker .... does "she" drink while dancing or eat breakfast on the john? And by she I am referring to whichever sex you think is feminine. Are you both ways or just confused? Most smokers wait till after the sex is done to light up. It's likely that "she" was done while you were carrying on. If "she" was on her back "she" may have been wondering what colour to paint the ceiling or her nails with the various positions and locations you described she may have figured out how to redecorate the entire house.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 20
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 7:09:15 AM
Maybe she just needed a 'breather'!
 sarniafairyboy
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 21
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 8:56:59 AM

From what I am reading, it would appear that this relationship only had one thing going for it--sex. The two of yiou continue to have sex with each other--inspite of knowing how you felt about the cigarettes. Now you mention nothing at all about any other aspect of the relationship, (before the final straw incident, of course). You don''t mention any emotional feelings or ties with one another, or likes or dislikes, or even anything you had in common with each other. Just sex and her smoking--(And the fact that she didn't go to your house--RED FLAG???) So the feeling I am getting here is that you only wanted just one thing and on thing to d with this gal, and you would do it--inspite of what to you is an annoying, sicening habit which according your words made you gag. Now I am not trying to be harsh here--but I mean are you actually looking for a relationship--or a F-buddy? Pardon my french--but just saying!


OK, thanks for all the input, some serious; some people obviously just wanted to use the opportunity to make fun of my love-making skills (or lack therof?) :) ah, the old put-down does make one feel superior for a few moments does it not? until you go back to your own suck-a-holic life ;)

par for the course for POF :) - what else would I expect?

does make it fun though

oh yeah the pokes about whether I know the differnce between a man & a woman ?

-yes I do, thanks
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 22
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 9:33:19 AM
Didn't read the other posts, but my opinion is she was bored as heck...

I dated one smoker, I can't date someone that smokes. It doesn't work for me. I have problems being at my mom's when she lights up I want to run out of the house.
 snipehunter77
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 23
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/6/2010 9:25:07 PM
Actually I think what she did was kind of cool. That said, I would never date a smoker, hate the smell, hate the taste.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 24
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/7/2010 12:39:58 AM
"some people obviously just wanted to use the opportunity to make fun of my love-making skills"
Hey, you started it. Your episode reminded me of an Eddie Murphy movie where she's on top getting off and he is setting his wrist watch. Do you think that she was so addicted to both your lovemaking and to smoking that she could not wait? And if she wanted to smoke, why not stop the sex or pause it? Be glad she did not take a potty break without stopping the action.

It's one think to take a break in bed for a smoke and then continue with round 2, but I had a visual of a doggy style position with her having a cigarette in her mouth. Better yet, I thought of what it must have looked like when you were sweating and doing all the work while she reached for the pack, the ashtray and the lighter. If she could hold her butt (cigarette that is) still enough to light the tip WHILE you were pounding her, then you may be lacking something.

Chill, nobody cares about your lovemaking (which is why you are here), but that posting of yours was priceless.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 25
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History
Smoking while having sex?
Posted: 8/7/2010 1:19:36 AM
Just another quick observation...some people alluded to it...but, you described "slow sensual love making", and said it had been going on 20-30 minutes...

Here's the deal; nobody likes a Kawasaki lover; or a Honda lover for that matter (2-stroke vs 4-stroke); and women will say they like a man with stamina. With that being said; I don't know of ANY women who like penis in vagina stroking for 20-30 minutes; and d*mn sure not in the same position. Bottom line is it quite simply get old, and boring. I've heard more than one guy brag about how good he was, and his idea of good was that he could have intercourse for very extended periods without an orgasm. I've had love making sessions that quite literally lasted 10-12 hours; and I may have only had one orgasm the entire time, (or maybe 3-4, LOL) BUT, there was a LOT of variety in there. If you have to stroke for 20-30, AND you made it sound like she interrupted you at 20-30min; you might want to consider using other methods of stimulation to get you close; then use penetration for the last little bit, until you get off.

YES women like slow sensual love making; but NOT in ONE position. You've got to mix it up, roll her around, top, side, bottom, back, legs up, legs down, over the bed, off the bed, rub, touch, feel, lick, kiss, blow, and carress,(and you might even consider untying her ) my point is, I don't give a d*mn how incredible a position feels when you first start it, after more than a few minutes, it gets really really old.

If you were maybe stretching the truth a bit, trying to impress, about the 20-30 minutes, ummmmmm...you missed the boat. Personally, after 20-30 minutes, of nothing but in and out, in the SAME position, I'm surprised she wasn't in pain. At some point, it's just friction.

Bottom line: 20-30 minutes is NOT good.

Ok, maybe it wasn't such a "quick" observation.
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