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 vette77
Joined: 7/7/2010
Msg: 1
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasonsPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
any guys or girls met anybody be it off online or via anywhere and dated them for like 1st, 2nd and most 3rd date and didnt like and didnt bother to date them anymore. and what was your reason for this???? other than the physical look

why didnt u want to date them anymore or call them. i like to hear some stories or examples

for me it was one girl we met for coffee first date and i paid and second date dinner and walk around park and i paid-she didnt offter to pay or say thanks, 3rd time samething so i didnt bother. im not rich either and im going back to school for a career change.
 06mc69
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 2
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 8:40:18 PM
That's hardly a reason to quit dating someone.. You could have spoken up to the woman and explained to her that you feel that going dutch would be a great idea without having to go into details of you not havin money..
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 3
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 8:48:50 PM
interesting question.
since my last break up with ex partner, i have met a couple of girls off this site actually. one time meetings, both didnt go anywhere really but the thing is i have not seen them since or heard from them. has haappened a few times in the last couple of years so u get use to it and wait to strike it lucky with the next.
i would/ would have been happy to be friends with these people but when they cut u off they usually do exactly that even if they don't give it to u straight from the first meeting.
 06mc69
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 4
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 9:16:39 PM
Maybe she is old fashion, thinking that the man should pay? who knows what was going thru her mind..

I, on the other hand, when I met this man that I have been seeing for almost 2 years, he paid for the first date, I ended up paying for majority of the rest, because that was my decision, would not let him do it, but, every now and then he still pays... It's just something that you need to judge your decision on, not just only 3 dates... It takes time...
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 5
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 10:22:17 PM
"3rd time samething so i didnt bother"
What, the third coffee was not at your place from your coffee machine? Or do you charge for that?

However, a short 'Thanks for the coffee' on one of those three dates is common courtesy, so you made the right choice.

Early on I would stop if I get vibes that she's not into me. Later on it gets more difficult, but it usually is an incompatibility or a huge red flag or many small orange flags. The worst breakups are those where all is fine but I don't feel it. I would like to be totally in love with butterflies and all, but it seems those days are over. The only thing that makes my stomach rumble is an ex-lax.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 6
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 10:41:32 PM
She should've thanked you, certainly.

As for reasons why I stopped dating people, even if I liked them... it's been varied. Only a couple will I post: One opted to stop seeing me rather than get STD tests prior to having sex. Another had failed to disclose that his "roommate" was also his ex, until I picked up on a few cues (I was dismally slow at this) and asked.

Those I feel were so egregious that I'm okay with talking about them. Others, even though readers really can't know who they are, I'd rather not say.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 7
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/15/2010 11:56:17 PM
Basically, it's because they didn't appear to show an interest in me in particular or dating anyone in general. They put no effort into being good company or making plans, participating in what was going on.

I dated one girl three times, and each time she didn't say much and seemed on the verge of nodding off. On the phone, she had plenty to say -- in person she clammed up. I told her at the end of date #3 that I wasn't going to call any more because she seemed to need to catch up on her sleep.

Another woman was just quiet as a mouse. She would talk a little bit, and after a number of calls I got her to go out to dinner. At dinner she sat like a mannequin, barely touched her food and pretty much stared straight ahead. Date with a zombie....OK, so I wrote her off. I supposed I could have talked to myself while waiting hours to see if she would finish a small salad, but heck....I decided against that and never called again.

In one case I simply had a bad "vibe" concerning her living arrangements and that she was looking for a way to move out of her sister's house. She seemed way too eager to want me to come by - - considering we had little in common and didn't really click on our first date, although she was polite. I just knew it wasn't a match.
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 8
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:17:08 AM
His actions didn't match his words...
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 9
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:32:06 AM
His palms were orange except one spot on his right hand shaped like a pickle.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!
 snipehunter77
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 10
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 6:12:50 AM
Great topic, can't wait to see what the girl's say and take notes.

Top reason has to be lack of chemistry. It can be that I just don't feel it for her, we kiss and there is no spark. Or I'm very attracted to her and she just doesn't seem that into me. Or I'm attracted to her, she's trying hard to make me like her and obviously likes me, but I can just tell we are on totally different pages.

Next, I can't stand the way she talks. I actually know this single hot blond that I could ask out, but the way she talks drives me crazy, I could just imagine a road trip with her, constantly talking and switching topics every 30 seconds.

Three, she lets out some information that is a deal breaker. Admits to cheating in a past relationship, admits she is still married, turns out she is a smoker or has a drinking or drug problem, has aids or leprosy. Is one of those people who takes phone calls or texts when you are talking to them.

Next, she is obviously obsessed with her ex and talks about him through the whole date or worse is dating me so he can see us together.

But I think you need to man up and just expect to pay for dates. You are gong to stop seeing a girl just because she thinks you are that kind of man and not a boy who wants to go dutch? You need to get immunized by dating my ex, she was capable of ordering the lobster and two bottles of wine and bi%ch and complain throughout the whole dinner and the drive to and from, or on vacation to a smoking country she would just get up and leave a nice restaurant without a word as the meal started if someone lit up a cigarette three tables away.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 11
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 7:16:02 AM

for me it was one girl we met for coffee first date and i paid and second date dinner and walk around park and i paid-she didnt offter to pay or say thanks, 3rd time samething so i didnt bother. im not rich either and im going back to school for a career change.

Like someone else said ... that ALONE shouldn't be a reason to quit dating a gal. I believe it probably wasn't, and her not showing recognition that you're paying or offering anything fell in line with something else you didn't like.

If she was great and you two meshed well, but there was that lingering thing that bothered you, why not bring it up? "I just gotta let ya know that I'm going back to school for a career change and don't have too much money, so me Taking you out isn't just pocket change in the couch cushion..." I think she'd realize that if she was a good catch and be more respectable about it, offer tips in the very least, etc. If not, and played the Entitlement-Card, then you'd KNOW you're dealing with the occasional I-want-to-be-bought type gals... but never just assume!
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 12
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 8:29:56 AM
The few men I've met in my age group, 50+ and gone on to a second or third date initially seemed to have potential.

I think issues are different for the various age groups simply because of life experiences.

The main reason they didn't progress to anything has been that they were not self aware of the issues, attitudes and problems they carried with them whether it was attitude towards what they believed and said they wanted and showed differently; baggage, issues with anger towards their exs or the world in general; they weren't happy within themselves and were looking for someone else to be responsible for making them happy. In short, it seemed to me that they were individuals who were "downers".
I work hard in my business to keep my attitude and outlook positive and just don't want the hard work of being solely responsible for someone else's need for happiness, at this point in my life.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 13
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 10:48:13 AM
I have had only two kinds of dating. One is where you go on a date then go on to have a relationship. The other is the kind where on the first date you know it's not going anywhere. I can tell on the first date if she is someone I could be happy with or not.

My dates that were with women I had no business being with mostly were the same except one where she was just freaky and that was a weird experience. Usually it was that as we were talking I realized I wished we weren't. I think some people just sort of yak away saying trite phrases. I zone out when they do that. It's a defense against being entranced into a mindless stupor and then being taken away in a van to live enslaved as a zombie working in a salt mine or a sugar cane field. If I listened to the actual words I would fall into a deep sleep and lose my soul.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 14
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 11:16:10 AM

They were rude to the waitstaff.

They were habitually late.

They were too over the top clingy, needy or falling in love on the second date.

They had a secret test.

I am sure this will devolve into a who pays thread, somehow they always do.... but if you expect someone to pay on a date use your out loud voice and tell them. Don't keep it secret or it becomes setting people up to fail. I went on a second date with one guy and I paid for something small like drinks at a street fair and he was so bursting with met expectations he had to tell me I had passed his test, I had offered to pay for something and actually paid. Boy wasn't he crestfallen when I told him I don't like games and secret tests, if he had wanted me to pay he should have used his words like a grown up instead of making our date an experiment to see if I could read his mind.End of date two and I never saw him again.

I don't care what your expectation is, if you can't say it out loud, you do not deserve to have it.



This woman is brilliant.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 11:16:47 AM
Interesting thread, and I'm also hoping this won't turn into yet another "who pays for the date" thread. So here are a few offerings (each is a different woman, and some of them never made it to an in-person meeting):

1. She didn't drive, for no reason other than she never bothered to learn. She also posted photos that were obviously doctored somehow and the reality was an unpleaseant surprise. The first date I picked her up at her place (because she couldn't drive to meet in a public place), and her apartment was littered everywhere with garbage.

2. Couldn't stand the way she talks, and talked about nothing but her job, depsite my attempts to change the subject.

3. Went on endlessly about her last boyfriend. And about how she revenged herself on him.

4. Talked incessantly about her hobby, shooting pool, something I have no interest in.

5. Was very insistent about me picking her up at her place for the first date. She finally agreed to meet in a public place, but I was too wary to ask for a second date.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 16
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 11:25:22 AM
I forgot the one who'd chosen "Single" on his profile - and showed up wearing a wedding band.

Only date I've actually walked out on.
 4rumOnly
Joined: 5/27/2010
Msg: 17
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 11:59:12 AM
Hmm ... dates that didn't lead anywhere? ... I've had plenty! .... Physical attraction is important. Without that, it's less than likely to go anywhere. .... So physical attraction aside ... most times it was there just wasn't any connection..... One guy was almost like a mute ... I encouraged him to tell me more about himself ....he replied in a couple sentences and that was it. *awkward silence* ...Wanting to give him benefit of the doubt (that perhaps it was just first date jitters) I went on a second date w/ him (at his request!) --still the same story. I was bored to tears. ...

Another guy: Our sense of humor just didn't jibe. ..... He made effort to be chivalrous, but naahh .. I could sense that there was no connection (at least from my part).

One guy .. hrmm .. seemed nice n all but *agggh* .. bad breath! .... I just couldnt get over it - no second date.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 18
view profile
History
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 12:41:00 PM
Went on a couple of dates with a guy - who then told me he was married. That was the end of that.

Went on a couple of dates with a very nice man, but he was - odd in an interesting way...I don't know how to explain it. I enjoyed him, but there was no romance.

First date - guy asks what I think of his "package". NEXT!

First date - guy asks me to follow him home, and sneak in after about 5 minutes to peek at him in the shower. Ahhhh...it was lovely meeting you, have a nice life!

Met someone at the park for coffee - he was very church oriented...we both knew this was going nowhere, spent half an hour together, and left with "it was nice to meet you, good luck".

Met someone who had a very abrasive voice, when he laughed it was so loud I literally jumped.

Sometimes - for whatever reason - it just doesn't click!
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 19
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 1:23:02 PM
Remembered another. Couple of dates, very pleasant, enjoyed his company, found him attractive - sounds great, right?

Never answered the phone, made all plans by text, and responded to all voice mail messages by e-mail. The next day.

Aside from being distancing, mainly, it was just too weird!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 1:55:45 PM
There can be many reasons. First of all, if you try for a third date, it means that both feel there may be something there, but as you go along something does not click. Or the attraction does not grow. Or something bothers you and you can't put the finger on it. Usually, if you are thinking it, more than likely they have a similar feeling. I stopped asking this one girl out because she was too negative. Another one because I did all the talking and when you asked her stuff she was just boring. Another one, ditched me because she thought I was too intense. While another one didn't give me a reason, other that neither one had the desire to call again. The reality is that it happens. Sometimes, you may like the person, but someone else you've met is much more interesting.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 21
guy or girls-why didn't u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:05:01 PM
Guy A
First date:
His profile said he was 5'9" - he's really about 5'6" ... okay, whatever .... Then, he says he's 49, not 47 as he says in his profile ... maybe he's really 50+?? ... hmmm
Second date:
Left me wondering afterward if his negative comments about the busloads of Japanese tourists were because they were bussed tourists or because they were Japanese ... hmmm
Third date:
Blatantly racist and idiotic comment over dinner. Buh-bye!

Guy B
Kept repeating several times an hour "you're smokin' hot." Once would have been entirely sufficient.
I actually dated him several times, despite this annoying persistent habit. Gave up on him when he insisted - no compromise - that our dating needed to follow his plan of dating (very selectively pick out a woman online, be exclusive from the first or second meet). Goodbye and Good Luck!

Guys C through G
In person "confess" they are not their profile age or very obviously are not their stated age ... off by a few to ten years. I really don't feel like sticking around to find out what, if any, other nonsense they are hiding. Buh-bye!

Guys H, I, and J
Relentlessly tried to steer second date to include hanging out at his house, despite my offering other alternatives, including free or very low cost ones, despite my making it clear I was not comfortable going to his home so soon. Buh-bye!

Oh, and the "test" guys are so obnoxious ....
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 22
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:17:51 PM
i have a bad habit of picking my dates carefully, so frankly i've never had a really horrible one. yes i've had a couple that started and ended with the 1st date, but either it happens like that with no additional time wasted (not often), or we end up dating for at least 6 months... usually longer. i only remember 2 dates that ended after the 1st meet. one was fat but advertised himself as "a few extra pounds"; the other one was just plain arrogant and snotty. i can't blame you one bit for losing interest in a person who is so incredibly dense that they couldn't even manage a "thank you" for three dates on your own personal tab. it shows a distinct lack of character, manners, and common courtesy. sure you could have said something, but if you have to do that, what's the point? ugh.


 Unknown__Legend
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 23
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 5:37:28 PM
I didn't bother anymore because the texting became excrutiatingly annoying. And was a symptom of something deeper I suspect. Texting is fun for little flirty messages..'Hi can't wait to see you tonight', 'what an awesome weekend'. Or for short information messages that aren't urgent enough to interupt for a phone call. 'I got the bike fixed, we are on for tomorrow', '8:00 does work', 'I found your bra, it was under the pillow'.

However, for converstations ?!?!. This one texted me something and I wasn't sure of the meaning. So I phoned. It went to voicemail. I texted 'phone me'. She did. This happened a couple of times. Near the end I started to insist we talk more in person. She said fine but was always vague. I offered specific times and places. Here's the kicker. We live about a 10 minute walk from each other. There is a Starbucks and a Tim Hortons 30 seconds from me and about, well 10 minutes from her. But nooooo, she inssited on text, text, text. Either she wasn't interested or she had issues. Either way NEXT....
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 24
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 7:18:40 PM

Now if your gunna keep tally on who paid for what, your in for a sad state of realization.

True.

Poor communication.

Negativity. (Disrepect, Rude, Etc.)

And hidden agendas like the secret test Abbicci mentioned.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 25
guy or girls-why didnt u date them anymore-reasons
Posted: 8/16/2010 9:59:01 PM
Caught them lying - 3 strikes- No Go.
First dates that you wish you were somewhere else.
Boring conversation.
No conversation.
Contact with exes.
Too much of a couch potato.
They resented my motorcycle.

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