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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 3
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Being stood upPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Heck yeah you should have called and confirmed.
Anything can happen in a weeks time.

Call her (not text) and set up another date......
Being stood up
Posted: 8/27/2010 1:28:23 AM

I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and start dating, she said no, she didn't know what she wanted.

you knew all you needed to know right here. no point in asking her on a date when she's already told you no.

and don't think the 'she didn't know what she wanted' part leaves the door open - it doesn't, because only yes means yes, and everything else means no, including 'maybe.'
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 8
Being stood up
Posted: 8/27/2010 6:13:38 AM
As far as I'm concerned, once the time and location have been agreed upon by both people, that's "confirmed." Neither party should have to reconfirm, though it's not a bad idea to at least send a note a day or two in advance saying something like, "Looking forward to seeing you Thursday!" (<<or at your age, I guess you could write, "looking 4ward 2 c-ing u thu. lol!!"). At the very least, if your date hasn't shown up within 15 minutes of the scheduled time, you should check in with her to find out what's up.

But the fact that you didn't send a note in advance doesn't forgive her forgetfulness and I hope she was thoroughly apologetic. And the fact that she did forget doesn't suggest a particularly strong interest on her part so keep that in mind if you decide to give it another shot.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 12
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/27/2010 11:32:12 AM
ok ... you asked her out ... she said yes ... 7 days later, she was a "no show" ...

and ... when you asked her about it and checked to see if she was ok ... she said she had forgotten ... BUT she immediately TURNED IT AROUND and blamed YOU ... "why didn't I call or text her to see where she was" ???

it's not YOUR FAULT she didn't show up ... if the girl can't remember to show up for a pre-arranged date, it's NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to get her there ...

altho, since you've known her for 2 years, it might have been a nice idea to have picked her up ...

that being said, I HAVE forgotten dates ... usually with a friend I've known forever, have been out with repeatedly, there's nothing romantic going on and he just off-handed said, "hey! let's meet somewhere Thursday like maybe Froggies" ... and I forgot because he didn't make it all that specific ... no specific time ... nothing ... just casual ... like it wasn't really important to him whether I showed up or not ... and, since it wasn't all that important to me either ... I just forgot!

IF you asked her out, all casually like that ... like it was no big deal ... maybe she really DID just forget!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 13
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/27/2010 11:50:46 AM
Being asked on a date then never hearing a thing from you for 7 days, yeah I'd have assumed you had forgotten. Then again I would never date a man who had spent two years playing fantasyland with me as some star in his mind games, and I sure wouldn't accept a date with a man who ask me to be his girlfriend before we had even dated. That's just too weird.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 15
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/28/2010 5:32:58 AM
First of all, you seem to be chasing someone that doesn't want to be chased... seriously... you asked her out and she said no, you ask her out again, she capitulates but conveniently forgets that you and she have a date...

She doesn't sound interested and you really should accept that rather than trying to force her hand.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 16
Being stood up
Posted: 8/28/2010 6:32:04 AM
If you are trying to date "women" (cough,cough) around your age, I would start getting used to these types of actions,from some. With the age group that you are in, most are still growing up, and still need to learn about personal responsiblity and accountability,,,which includes trying to keep in touch with other's feelings.

It never used to be like this,,,,but her actions are not so rare anymore.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 17
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/28/2010 7:31:15 AM

With the age group that you are in, most are still growing up, and still need to learn about personal responsiblity and accountability,,,which includes trying to keep in touch with other's feelings.
Let's turn that personal accountability around . She said no, he pressured, she said yes and could very well have forgotten since it could have been more of a 'yeah, sure, whatever' instead of a 'yes, I'd like that very much'.

My point is... stop pressuring. If a woman says no, then accept that no and move on... asking again and again isn't the answer.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 19
Being stood up
Posted: 8/28/2010 8:24:33 AM

She said no, he pressured, she said yes and could very well have forgotten since it could have been more of a 'yeah, sure, whatever' instead of a 'yes, I'd like that very much'.


Asking someone the same question,,,or close to the "same" question TWICE is not pressuring. If the young lady didn't really,truely, want to do something she should have the gonads to say phuck off when the question was asked the second time around. Instead,she acted like most that don't how to handle a little itsy bitsy bit of controversy,,,,,,she DECEIVED!!!!!

Ohhhhhhhhhhh,,,,the pressure of acting and treating others just like you would like to be treated. I don't know how people get thru their days.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 20
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/28/2010 12:17:44 PM
I'm surprised so many responses came in that posters expect a "reminder" contact ... or a "reinforcement" contact ... that's amazing to me ... that's why God invented organizers ... that's why God invented post-its ... calendars ... memories ...

I am VERY HARD ON MYSELF if I forget anything ... I beat myself up if I forget appointments ... I feel really bad if I've missed something I was expected to attend ...

maybe I shouldn't be ... but, you know ... if I've set a date with someone ... I EXPECT that someone to be there ... when he'd SAID he would be there ... and I DON'T EXPECT him to remind me or do a follow-up check to see if we're still on ...

I do, however, expect my dentist to give me a follow-up call ... because I'm TRYING to forget that appointment ...

just sayin ...
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 21
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/30/2010 10:34:45 AM
If I set a date to go out with someone and then didn't talk to them for the week leading up to it, I'd probably assume she changed her mind.

Or I'd forget anyway. Definitely gotta have a follow-through.

I've actually had a number of times where I waited til the day or two before the date to follow-up and she said she'd made other plans since. And of course, my reaction was, "well, we already had plans, so cancel yours". And if she didn't, that's fine, but I wouldn't make plans with her again.
 stone-1
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 22
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Being stood up
Posted: 8/30/2010 3:48:18 PM

Add me to the list of people that believe that when she didn't hear from you for a whole week... She "forgot" about it, or figured that you did...

You gotta show interest... She wasn't particularly interested, so it was up to you to encourage her interest... not the easiest thing in the world, but welcome to the world of dating.
 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 23
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Being stood up
Posted: 9/1/2010 9:45:19 PM
I'm not sure about all the specifics, but I feel pretty confident in saying that this situation is finished. It can certainly be argued with a lot of weight that it was finished even before the event in question.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 24
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Being stood up
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:46:07 PM
Here you go young man, The next time you don't want her to forget and you don't feel it necessary to talk in between.....just tell her your chauffeur will be picking her up a 7:00 PM
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