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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?      Home login  
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 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 5
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Looks or lack there of is important at any age.

I would find it hard to kiss a man if I found their looks repulsing, ewww .

Conversely, I have found that I am repulsed by the personalities of many of what US society deems as handsome. Some of these men aren't worth the mascara it takes to get ready for a date. Boring and self adsorbed. Thankfully there are many more of the ones in the middle to date and I have a choice.

Friends tell you that you could do better? Well I hear that too from friends, but it is you after all that are spending time with this troll and not her/him and it is your choice. If he makes you happy then by all means date Quasimodo. Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 6
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 12:28:11 PM
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?

I seriously doubt if this applies to ladies only, men have eyes too....

But anyway, after 45, looks are exactly as important as before 45.

I know of no one who changed tastes upon hitting the 45 mark.

 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 7
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 1:42:08 PM
As per my profile.. looks are very important to me.

I state I'm ugly and gettin' old and looking for the same thing!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 3:57:33 PM

But anyway, after 45, looks are exactly as important as before 45.


Really????? After 45 years on this earth, living,breathing and supposedly LEARNING,,,,,you STILL find "looks" as important as you did when you were 18 years of age?????


Reallllllllly????????

Ummmmm,,,,carry on girls,,,,the notebook is out.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 10
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 4:06:14 PM
Mesg 11,,,,you should reread your words one hundred times out loud,,,and then try to hear what you are saying. Those words(and thoughts) speak volumes,,,,and some of us have heard it sooooooooo many times it's disheartning.

It's okay though,,,,you fit in with the majority of people(notice I include both genders) and how they think(and act). Like I said, disheartning.



I don't want to know how nice is he if I don't like how he looks like in the first place


We could almost make a billboard advertisement outta this one for here in the pond,,,,no??????
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 11
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 4:08:16 PM

As per my profile.. looks are very important to me.

I state I'm ugly and gettin' old and looking for the same thing!

^^ hahaa! I enjoyed that one Purple Lady!

I'm much more interested in brains and conversation than looks. 'course I got the whole package this time around *grins*

As a teen I dated an exceptionally good looking fellow who was as dumb as a plug. Really, really dumb and 'off the scales' in looks. I treated him very disrespectfully. Contemptuously, really. As he accepted mistreatment, I treated him worse. Nasty b!tch. Only kept him on a string cuz he was so good looking but hoped he wouldn't open his mouth around my friends and reveal how dumb he actually was. Asa matter of fact, I would actually TELL him to say nothing. yikes! The transgressions of youth.

Ohhh boy, my dad caught a brief exchange one day and "hauled my azz on the carpet" for my treatment of that one! Said I was looking very ugly to him at that moment. Asked me how I could look in the mirror each morning knowing I was treating another person so abysmally, that he deserved respect and if I didn't respect him, to cut him loose. ouch. Truth well told is sometimes not pleasant to receive.

Since then, I've only dated people I respected and enjoyed. Some had conventional good looks; most were rather ordinary on the outside and all, with but a few exceptions, were good people.
Lesson learned. Thanks dad.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 18
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 7:58:02 PM


But anyway, after 45, looks are exactly as important as before 45.


Really????? After 45 years on this earth, living,breathing and supposedly LEARNING,,,,,you STILL find "looks" as important as you did when you were 18 years of age?????


Reallllllllly????????

Ummmmm,,,,carry on girls,,,,the notebook is out.

Yes, really. What makes you think that I was chasing hot hunks when I was 18?
Or what makes you think the opposite?
What I said, is that looks still hold the same importance.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 21
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 9:35:29 PM
I'm more or less in synch with Shutterfly, though I'd put it slightly differently. My tastes in looks have evolved over my lifetime, but not in dramatic ways. My own life experiences have increased my appreciation of others, but I think that some fundamentals are almost genetically programmed into us. When I was a young teen, I thought Audrey Hepburn was about as cute as a woman could get, and that anyone heavier than she was, was too wide for me. I gradually came to appreciate much more diverse variations, but I still could not be turned on sexually by someone in the Kathy Bates range, and neither have I ever been drawn to the "official stunners" like Angelina Jolie, or Sofia Loren.
I've seen that both sexes grow to appreciate that looks alone are just the starting point for a relationship. When I was very young, and saw stories on TV about famous hotties breaking up, I thought "wow! you'd think a guy could put up with anything, to be able to sleep with HER!" Then after a few of my own interactions with others, I came to know full well that the most fabulously beautiful person on the planet who is also a JERK is actually rather ugly, and that a good match has to click on many different levels, looks being number two at most. Still "way up there," but not the primary consideration.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 23
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 10:14:48 PM
[Hangs head in shame!] I have to admit...that for a woman who is usually more open minded; that "looks" is the one area where it seems I've never conquered being prejudiced.

Seriously; and I am rather ashamed to admit it...but when I see a really good looking guy...I immediately think in the back of my mind...that he's probably a real jerk. Consequently...I've always shied away from "good looking men"...LOL! as all of my ex's are living proof!!!

The irony of this particular discrimination however, IS...that while it's perfectly politically correct for us to empathize with less attractive people who WHINE that no one is willing to "get to know the inner person"; NO such compassion exists for the person who may be truly as attractive inside as they are outside. Consequently, at the same time we're wrongly judging the attractive man of probably being a jerk (simply because he IS attractive), we're far more willing to overlook really ugly behavior from really ugly people...because we feel sorry for them and are willing to allow them that "handicap"...and all the bitterness that comes with it.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 24
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/1/2010 10:41:32 PM
The question here is how important the looks are.
I had the fortune to meet some really brilliant men in my life, and in my eyes, they were the most handsome men, period.
That had nothing to do with their height, weight, amount of hair on top of their head, and the square jaws and six-packs, or the length of their penis.
Beauty and ugliness are subjective, and so is attractiveness and its opposite. (Thanks Igor)
Physical handsomeness to me is noticeable, but not always attractive, and can be present or not in the person I consider beautiful, pending a lot of other factors.
That was my preference when I was young, and has not changed yet.
It is as important now, as it was then.

 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 25
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:29:42 AM
I won't date anyone who is cuter than me, looks in the mirror more than I do, is smaller than me, has better hair than me or has an IQ lower than mine. Gotta be in the same league more or less. That said, a little 'ugliness' in a guy can be very sexy, no matinee idols trip up this lady for too long. Looks are very important, whatever one's age. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. To paraphrase Sofia Loren when asked about her attraction to short bald fat Carlo Ponti, "You need to see him through My eyes to know."
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 26
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/2/2010 11:51:34 AM
I think when I was younger, I might have noticed good looking
people more than I do now. Now I pretty much see everyone as
average or normal looking. What I do notice are personalities.

My roommate is sort of a jerk. And he knows it. He compensates for
it (he thinks) by buying me bananas every week. He knows I like
bananas so when he's shopping he remembers to get them.

I've told him a few times there aren't enough bananas in the world
to compensate for being an a$$hat, but he just doesn't get it.

I might notice someone more if I consider them attractive, but I've
learned to withhold my opinion until they open their mouth.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 29
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/2/2010 3:57:00 PM
interesting topic.
As a rule I've always dated women I and many others considered beautiful, or very pretty. Being a fairly good looking guy, this was not that difficult. However, my last GF was a woman I chose for many other things besides looks.
She was very bright, kind, soft spoken and understated. She had a quiet dignity I found very attractive, as a plus, she was very sexy. She was not a pretty woman; presentable enough though.
She became very unhappy when she noticed that I rarely complimented her on her looks. She had great taste in clothing and a great figure and I complimented her often on these things. It wasn't enough. I did not believe she was a pretty woman so it was not something I could honestly tell her. I was happy with her as she was.
The fact that I did not tell her she was pretty really stuck in her craw. For this and several other reasons we had to call it quits.
I went right back to dating a pretty woman and I gotta tell you that it just feels better knowing I can give an honest compliment about her beauty, as well as appreciating her other gifts and talents.
Moral: I tried my hand at not letting looks matter; didn't work out.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 30
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/2/2010 4:02:40 PM
I'm afraid I want a girl who looks good to me.
As I should for her.
(Cus it's not a one way street.)

Tis shallow for sure.
But I'm realistic in that plenty of squinting and dim lighting is acceptable.
:-P
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 34
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 6:19:05 AM
I spent some time in Hollywood as a young man, a place withe tens of thousands of beautiful women. Standard opening line was, "Are you an actress?" "Why yes, how did you know?"

I have never spent more than momentary bits with any actress since that time, up to today. I certainly do find beautiful women to be a joy, but actresses come packaged with a fragil ego the size of a football stadium.

I have no need for the drama.

I have heard photographers say the say time about models as social companions.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 35
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 8:30:53 AM
What attracts me isn't the actual "prettiness" (for lack of a better word) of a man's face, it's the attractiveness of the whole man. If he's in good shape and health with a youthful vitality about him, that attracts me. Someone who still has the physical and mental stamina and desire to do things. We all like our quiet moments and down times, but I've found that if down times comprise more than 50% of one's time offs, then life becomes too boring.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 36
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 9:24:07 AM

Tis shallow for sure.
But I'm realistic in that plenty of squinting and dim lighting is acceptable.



...Lol. I can identify. I look much better in diffused light, candles are my friend


...mae
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 38
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 9:50:07 AM

Yes and don't forget the benefits of loosing our close up vision as we age. Fancy clothes, candles, dim lights ,alcohol and bad vision have always been benefical in overlooking minor flaws. Some people drink alot of alcohol to see as badly as I do without my glasses ( I have had bad distance vision since a teenager and now the close up is disappearing as well... ahh the joys of aging. )


...Ooops, yes, I forgot about the Merlot. Dimly lit restaurants and a good bottle of wine helps immensely Poor eyesight ya say?....see, there are benefits to ageing.




...mae
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 39
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 9:51:01 AM
Perhaps I was born atypical? First big movie of my life was Gone With the Wind ~~ and guess who I got a crush on? Nope, not Clark Gable, not Leslie Howard, oh no. Victor Jory. Later got a crush on his son who was teaching acting at my uni. There *is* one physical type that can drop me to my knees -- tall, skinny, black hair, brown eyes (my first love, age nine), but I know from experience that while I have this outlandish physical reaction to a mere sighting, that it *isn't* necessarily a sign from the Universe that I should drop everything else and go for the gold.

With the one exception (see above), my relationships have been with a huge variety of phenotypes ~~ tallest: 6'11", shortest: 5'2". All hair colors except copper; every eye color; hair? from waist length to male pattern baldness (not fond of the Kojak look, but it would depend. . . .). Weight range from 125lbs to over 300. Every race. The one single thing that has been most consistent is smarts (NOT edumacation, grin). I hate being bored more than almost anything else in life. I don't, however, find drama interesting. All else being equal, a guy prolly does get extra points for facial hair (with the exception of goatees, which I can tolerate, but which are negatives).

The two really great loves of my life were the last one who ended it by dying, and the fella I'm with right now. The last was 6'1", had hair and a mustache, was an actor, weighed close to 275, and was amazingly bright. This one, 5'8", round shaped, bald and bearded, and, has a Ph. D. in plant science/ecology, and is amazingly bright. Politically, both considerably left of center. The first blustery, the second very quiet. Both were internet instigated, and my feelings were in full flood before I met either in meat form. I frankly don't think it would have mattered if they'd been Hunchback of Notre Dame knockoffs, lol! Perhaps common wisdom was right in this case: live, learn. Glad I lived long enough to *get it.*

 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 40
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 12:50:30 PM

Over 45, how important are looks?

For me? Important. And I'd prefer that my appearance is as important to the men who are interested in me, as their appearance is to me. I really can't fathom being with someone who were to tell their family/friends, "I wasn't physically attracted to her at all, but she sure has/had a great personality." But that's just me.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 45
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/3/2010 5:18:07 PM
I'm considerably over 45, and looks are just as important to me now as they ever were - which is to say, not very important at all. I've dated and lived with men shorter than me, much taller, long haired, bald, hairy faces, shaven faces, some physically fit and some marshmallows. What's always been most important to me are character and personality.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 49
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 11:10:00 AM

I think for women over 40 looks should not matter anymore because you are old by then. But for men it's different, a 45 year old man can still marry an 18 year old girl and have children. That's the way God wants things, and you have to obey God's comandments.


I have always been a person who felt that a man need not necessarily be attractive to all and sundry but attractive to me as I would hope that I was to him.

However, after reading the above quoted post, I'll not bother anymore. I'll just head off to the local funeral director and arrange my immediate cremation because it appears that I am long past the best before date of 40 years old for females. Whew! That sure solves a lot of my problems. Happy trails everyone.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 55
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 5:32:35 PM

Plus I don't think I could wake up every morning looking across the bed and knowing no matter what I do I ain't ever gonna be as good looking as that guy with the sticking up hair !!!


...That's hilarious

I was just relaying a story to my niece about this really great looking guy I met at a singles dance. Along with his exceptional good looks, he was also charming, witty and full of himself.
I made the mistake of giving him my number (sorry, couldn't help it, I was tricked haha) Anyhow, after one very short, or I should say one very long "one sided" conversation. I no longer wondered why the guy was single...... Pity

...mae
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 58
LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 7:30:43 PM
So there are guys like that as well as women.


Yes there are, it goes both ways. In any case, the point I was trying to make was that looks are obviously important to me, otherwise I wouldn't have given him my phone number right?

With that being said, I have also been drawn in by men that I initially did not find attractive, but after getting to know them, I realized that they had depth, had substance and I began to feel differently towards them. Therefore, making them far more attractive, far more appealing than their goodlooking counterparts.




...mae
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 61
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LADIES: Over 45, how important are looks?
Posted: 9/5/2010 8:08:56 PM
But for men it's different, a 45 year old man can still marry an 18 year old girl and have children. That's the way God wants things, and you have to obey God's comandments

For God's sake, let's explore the world beyond the POF's 45-year arbitrary limit.

With God's blessing (and a proper diet - including beans and cucumbers as endorsed by posters in other related forum threads), even a 65-year old man can still have children.
It may come to you as surprise, that some 65-year old women have done it lately, too.
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