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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > i don't understand the male brain...      Home login  
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 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 2
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i don't understand the male brain...Page 1 of 1    

and i explained to him how i can't handle not seeing the person i'm dating


I think the big question here is, how are you dealing with this part right now? And for how long do you believe you can hold up? This should eventually lead you to where you want to be.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 3
i don't understand the male brain...
Posted: 9/1/2010 8:14:14 PM
new boyfriends are never ever never too busy for a quick hitter....

somethings fishy here sweetheart...

just saying...

only time we're too busy is when we get shipped off to boot camp.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 4
i don't understand the male brain...
Posted: 9/1/2010 8:14:33 PM
You sound young and then I checked your profile,,,and yes you are. If he's heading for the fields soon for work, you better figure out how you should handle all this, or you will become one of those girlfriends they call an "ex". If you can't handle it,,,then it isn't gonna work,,,plain and simple.

Periods of time are relative, and since you are only 21 your perspective of what a "long time" is based only on your years lived. You probably haven't even moved very far from your parents yet(not a slag),so you don't understand that people can be far far away from you and still love you. And get this,,,,they do come back!!!

It has nothing to do with the male brain at all,,,,it's just a different perspective,,,one that you don't fully understand yet, because you have yet to experince it. If ,,,and when you find a goal that you MUST reach,,,time, things, walls, etc will NOT get in your way. Your boyfriend has a goal. He's decided to make a career for himself. Understand that you should be HAPPY you actually found someone that knows what he wants,,,and knows what is gonna take to get it. Or,,,you can hang around the boys that are out running around clubbing every weekend, driving the car mommy and daddy bought em,etc. Cause no worries,,,,they aren't going anywhere.

Ask yourself,,,,is THAT what you really, truely want in a MAN??????
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 8
i don't understand the male brain...
Posted: 9/2/2010 12:21:53 AM

If you can't handle him being gone just for a month because you can only selfishly think of yourself

So she's selfish because she's not fond of HIS selfish behavior? Yes, putting someone you care about second in order to succeed professionally is completely selfish.

OP, he's defined the parameters of your relationship and you're not a priority in it. If you're cool with that, then accept it for what it is. If you're not and he's unwilling to make some changes, then find someone who's more available to you. Somebody who really wants to spend time with you will find a way to make that happen, even if it means you get to do little more than sleep beside each other.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 9
i don't understand the male brain...
Posted: 9/2/2010 7:24:52 AM
What day of the week are you spending time together? Is it a week day or a weekend?

I don't think a guy who has no time to see you is the guy for you, IMO.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 10
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i don't understand the male brain...
Posted: 9/2/2010 7:38:20 AM
The male brain is much more simplistic and direct than the female brain in general. I think that, by your post, you may be overthinking the whole thing. There is definatly some security problems on your behalf but lets look at this realistically.

a) He is gone a week at a time, sometimes 2.
b)In his line of work he may be gone for months at a time.
c)He does not SEEM to share the concerns you do(but maybe he does)
d)He admits to not being able to handle not seeing someone for long periods at a time.

Given all the information you provided I believe his career field is not compatible with a relationship with most people, including you. Trust me, I know all about how a career interferes with a relationship - my civilian occupation has taken it's toll on several relationships, not to mention my military time...

I advise you have a long talk with him, start weighing your options and loyalties. Get a picture of what changes will be in your life if you become single and available again. The world will not end if the relationship ends though it may seem like it. Focus on the positive of your current relationship while it lasts and even after it ends.
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