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 pocketbiker
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 1
shallow vs pickyPage 1 of 1    
so after a great conversation with some friends the question came up

Why is it ok for a girl to have must haves , don't wants, and a list that her future man must obtain to get her attention and its called being picky, but a guy with that same thing is called shallow?

your thoughts, opinions, ideas....
PocketBiker
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 2
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/6/2010 11:17:14 AM
There is a current duplicate thread under the Over 30 category by the same OP see there for other info.
 pocketbiker
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 3
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/6/2010 11:45:57 AM
I know, I asked in both because I wasnt sure if some of the people I talk to here was watching that one and I wanted to have a conversation in both to get multiple view points.

cheers
Pocketbiker
 amybbad*
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 4
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/6/2010 11:52:03 AM
Maybe because hers are usually, must have a job, must have a drivers license, must not still live with mother at 40. And his are must be beautiful, must not be fat....
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 5
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/6/2010 5:45:50 PM
Men are shallow as they tend to think they can land the beauty queen, aside from the fact they are overloooking every other quality the women here possess the men in question tend to live with mom, have bills even Donald Trump would cry over and have little more ambition aside from beer, peeing and sex. Men are shallow. How many gals brag about the big fish they caught the last time down to the watering hole, and by the way they always overstate what they caught, I mean drank.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 6
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/6/2010 5:49:27 PM
^^^ No but some women do brag to their friends about what they got on their latest shopping spree if you want to talk inflated and exaggerated sterotypes.
 kasie2010
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 7
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/8/2010 11:07:42 AM

Why is it ok for a girl to have must haves , don't wants, and a list that her future man must obtain to get her attention and its called being picky, but a guy with that same thing is called shallow?


Depends on the list for HIM or HER!!! This in my opinion would be where we get the term "shallow" or "picky" JMO

 e- mermaid
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 8
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shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/10/2010 7:01:00 AM

must have a job, must have a drivers license, must not still live with mother at 40.


I don't think this is shallow OR picky.
And in some cases today necessary on a short term basis.
But, If they are content with these situations and make no effort to move forward with their life then they are called an opportunist.
You've got to give people a chance...................
 spessartite
Joined: 3/24/2010
Msg: 9
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/10/2010 9:39:31 AM
From an old country western song, "Ya are what ya are and ya ain't what ya ain't!"

That may be a bit too base for those with finesse, or perhaps too shallow for even a sucker to swim in....
 pocketbiker
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 10
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/11/2010 10:59:02 PM
ok so I am picky and shallow

must have legal income
your license
live out of mommy and daddys house, the garage, the basement, the guest house, off thier property and expecially out of thier wallets
have a vehicle, that sees the road more then the mechanic
have goals you are working towards, bigger then assistant-manager of a macdonalds
love your self enough to keep in shape and take care of your body this includes your skin, take pride in yourself
know how to dress and act for the event and weather have more then the color black and jeans with t-shirts in your closet. black is not sliming, they lied nether is solid colors. think of it this way the military uses camo to hide things not a solid color sheet to cover something up. get the idea?
do more the recite words out of a book have your own thoughts and opinions on things

Cheers
Pocketbiker
 pegsgroove
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 11
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/12/2010 11:46:23 AM
What happened to chemistry?...Didnt realize you had to have a bachelors degree to connect.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 12
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:55:30 PM
No shallow is shallow. For example when men or women think they can date someone younger than they are, forgetting the fact that they are past thier prime, have achieved little in life other than taking up space and in their best moments they can discuss the newest gossip. All this in hopes of finding the youngest, most attractive, in shape with money partner that they think they can Bullsh##t into bed on the first date......that is shallow!
 DrKimono
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 13
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/15/2010 4:46:56 PM
This is exactly what makes me so tired of this whole thing! Why does it all have to be so complicated? Personally, I think no matter what we have on the list of must haves or must not haves, people basically take a look at someone and decide right then or very soon after whether it feels right and whether they want to be with that person.

Oh, I know there's a lot of things that go into a relationship after that, but IMHO, it's that puzzle piece fitting into the other puzzle piece kind of feeling that makes the world go round. People give and take, compromise, and adjust for the rest of it.
 pocketbiker
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 14
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/15/2010 5:53:05 PM
I am willing to compromise on alot of things, what movies we go see, the resturants we eat at, the festivals we go to, what color the rooms should be painted, how we can decorate the house, how to groom the dogs, things like this I will compromise all day long

I will not compromise, settle or adjust for anything less then what I have obtained in my life.

I am done dating the "new job every pay day" girls
I am also done dating the 2nd and 3rd late notice, final notice, shut off notice girls
I am done dating the I live at my parents house in thier basement at age 25 plus
I am done dating the girls that dont have a valid license and a car
I am done dating girls that dress in all black all the time and 99% of the time its a black shirt with black jeans and black tennis shoes
I am done dating the girls that have no dreams, goals, or aspirations in life that are just living to die and do nothing with thier lives
I am done dating the girls that every time you ask them something the answer is " I dunno" or "what ever you want"
I am done dating the girls that the moment you start dating let thier looks go to hell cause they are comfortable and don't have to look good anymore cause they have a guy now
and I am seriously done dating the girls that do any or all the above things that want to tell others how to live and act and give advice on life
and no I will not date a breeder; anyone that either has, different daddys for all thier gaggle of children, or thought just one more would save thier relationship and would bring them closer together,

So no I will not compromise, settle, adjust to the above things. So yea I am picky and shallow, I warned CEO I had strong opinions on things,
cheers
pocketbiker
I would rather be single then in a bad relationship
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 15
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/16/2010 5:14:39 AM
The problem with the above ^^^^^^^ "I am done dating..." whine is that most things you claim to be done dating are things you can only discover in the dating process. It sounds to me like perhaps you invest yourself too much in the "dating" side of things and not enough in the "let's just have some fun and start to get to know one another" aspect of developing chemistry.

So please, quit whining about how others fail to live up to your expectations...I think we can all be pretty certain that we don't live up to everybody else's expectations. So until you are willing to disclose every little negative nook and cranny of your life...and make sure girls totally understand it all before contacting you, lighten up...just go out and have fun...love develops from fun, rarely does fun develop from love. Only make overtures of affection and love after you get to know the person a bit...and by all means, always Always ALWAYS be honest...especially with yourself.

 DebiluvsDallas
Joined: 9/9/2010
Msg: 16
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shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/16/2010 7:31:50 PM
Same reason a man with gray hair is distinguished but a woman wit gray hair is showing her age! It is what it is :) I'm opting for the easy answers tonight!
 rudyjill
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 17
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:19:33 PM
I think a lot of ladies on this sight just know what they want. I most deffently know what i am looking for. But on this sight men say they want a good women but what they really want is someone to sleep with or live off. There are also a lot of men who live at home, own no car, no employment. To much time on computer. To many head games. And a lot of men over 40 do not take care of themselves either. I am a proffesional, outgoing women. I own my car, i work full time and i do not need a man to take care of me. What needs to happen on this sight is to get the guys who are players and losers off and let the people who are serious about a relationship with someone. It's hard to fiqure out who is full of it on here. Tired games. And yes i am very pickey, why shouldn't i be.
 YourCuteGuy1
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 18
shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/17/2010 2:58:29 PM
The problem with a lot of guys is that there is a difference between who they will sleep with and who they would want for a relationship. They will sleep with a lot of women who they would never have a long term relationship.

Men and women both mentally assume that the opposite sex has the same attraction criteria as they themselves have. There is some overlap, but not near as much as the average person would conceive. And that wouldn't be so bad except the opposite sex is always trying to convince us that the way we are attracted and the things we are attracted to are wrong and we need to accept a new way of being attracted.

In other words, my idea of a good woman is probably not very close to your idea of a good woman. And ask most any guy if they are a good man, what do you think he will say? Don't snicker.

I'm sorry, but I'm a man and you are a woman. The very things in a man that creates what you love about men are also the very same things that create what you can't stand about us. And think about it, you can't change the very core essence of what makes us male and female. If anyone of you start slipping me estrogen supplements to make me more caring, loving, and sympathetic, don't be surprised if I start sobbing like a ninny while I watch your chick flicks.

Who was it that said they wished that there puppy could be a man? Dr. Kimono? Well, that very obediant, playful, and always loving and accepting puppy would soon become a boring, uncreative, yes maam, no maam, always under your feet, and a too willingly clinging to please man that you would have to accept also.

Find a nice guy? Accept boring adoration?

Find a bad boy? Accept an adrenaline pumper who is pumping your best friend?

There is always a bad to the good and a good to the bad. And frankly, some people are never satisfied.

All the picky people, which includes me, must face it. Do we really live up to the picky standards? Not our standards mind you... Hello! The picky standards of the opposite sex.

I've seen plenty of femfish, no... way more than plenty of femfish who say they are picky, and I just can't help sitting back and snickering to myself because they just don't got what it takes to get what they wants. Delusional me thinks. But then again, maybe they will get lucky and find a decent fish to settle for.

But really, all us single picky people have every right to be picky. We should never have to settle for less than we want or feel we deserve.

And to be fair, we can never expect or want anyone to settle for us.
 DebiluvsDallas
Joined: 9/9/2010
Msg: 19
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shallow vs picky
Posted: 9/17/2010 5:48:29 PM
Really I'm sticking with the.... it just is what it is answer. Set your standards where you want them to be and NEVER settle! If someone thinks your standards make you shallow so be it. WHO CARES! You know what you want and you know what you don't want. If someone judges you and calls you shallow it probably has something to do with the fact that they don't meet your standards....

If you have ever passed over a woman who was available at a time when you wanted to be with someone, you have standards for who you will date. Don’t feel bad it means your brain is functioning! If someone thinks that makes you shallow then theirs probably isn't. AGAIN who cares :o)~
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 20
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shallow vs picky
Posted: 10/19/2010 11:24:07 AM

But on this sight men say they want a good women but what they really want is someone to sleep with or live off. There are also a lot of men who live at home, own no car, no employment.


I was going to start a new thread on this but in over the past several years I have run across so many women that are in financial dire strats, are on the verge of (or are in) bankruptcy (just about all from their own doing & living beyond their means)...

Nice women, but does this make an attractive package taking on such a liability?

Didn't this generations parents ever explain how to use credit cards, & basic general math of intro vs outgo?... perhaps we should blame this on the schools?
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 21
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shallow vs picky
Posted: 10/19/2010 11:30:37 AM

it just is what it is answer. Set your standards where you want them to be and NEVER settle!


WOW!!! now that's why I never could get a date untill I was in my late 20's... your standards we just set too high than to settle for that 120lbs weakling that got sand kicked in his face at the beach huh?

 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 22
shallow vs picky
Posted: 10/19/2010 2:59:06 PM
we all have to live with what we want from life. The least we can do is aim to achieve what we want in life...this includes everything! So don't settle for less..............aim high.......rock climb and contra dance...................yes contra.........some folks get this confused........something to do with reading perhaps?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 23
shallow vs picky
Posted: 10/20/2010 12:23:23 PM
~OP~ Did you post this question for responses or to get these things off your chest? Makes no real difference, but it reads to me like you don't really care what anyone's opinion is, you've already made up your mind about who/what have no interest in and in how you see the question you posed in post #1. Whether you are shallow or not makes no real difference ~ only you live in your skin. It only matters how you see your own self. JMO
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