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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is online dating a waste of time for men?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 4
Is online dating a waste of time for men?Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

So since the odds are not good for your average Joe should average men even bother with online dating?

Easy there big guy, I wouldn't be putting myself on such a tall milk crate if I were you, they can give way pretty quick.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 5
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/10/2010 8:26:02 PM
Women get more messages cus guys spam.
As in I'll send out 50 "hi babe" emails to fifty girls and hope for the best.

Women seem to be more selective
and email only someone they are potentially interested in.

So getting more messages doesn't' mean women get more dates.
They just get more mail from folks they don't want to date then guys do.

It's still a problem for em.
Having to wade thru all that spam to get to your message.

My advice.
Ignore the odds.
Quality always does well.
Be a quality guy and eventually you'll meet a quality girl.
Till then, don't be a player and use the force only for good Luke.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 7
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/10/2010 8:38:52 PM

They are getting maybe 10-15 messages a day. In 10 days thats about 150 messaged. In 20 days thats about 300 messages.


How many is that in 30 days? Don't start something and then just leave us hanging.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 9
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/10/2010 9:28:22 PM
The average Joe's chances are totally dependent upon his ability to write good prose. At least with me they are. OK, an occasional verse would be acceptable too.
The "Your cute" or "wanna ride" or "what's Up" leave me cold.

 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 10
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/10/2010 9:38:50 PM
OP, the odds are about the same in any venue.
Online, bars, out in the world.

Ignore the odds.
Cus the guys who can't get a date will always outnumber the ones who can.
That covers about two thirds of the male population.
LOL
When you think of it that way,
the numbers are in your favor.
:-P

However, if you're emailing only the hotties....
who get alot of mail from all over....
you're not helping yourself.
That's a newbie in the candystore mistake.

So I suggest spreading your email over a broader assortment
of women who you find attractive and have similar interests.

And be ready to present yourself well when they reply back.

good Luck!
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 13
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/10/2010 10:23:24 PM
Well jamisond, you are young reasonable attractive and have a well written profile. I would guess that some of the guys that are complaining, have about two lines on their profile. I see a lot of that. One of the supposed advantages to internet meeting is we actually get to see if we have any common ground. Many guys just do not say anything to respond to or to spark any kind of conversation. As far as odds, what is the big difference between internet dating and dating in general? The odds of me at my age finding a mate, well I have a better chance of being struck by lightening. But people DO get struck by lightening, so why give up? A lady older than myself says she was single for 35 years and she has been with a fellow for about a year now, they are both crazy about each other. The internet increases the odds. I think many people have a Cinderella mindset towards internet dating. If we are seriously looking for a relationship, the odds are the odds. It doesn't matter how or where we initially meet. People are all different. The average Joe or Joline has a better chance of meeting someone real and maybe wont' have to go through 50 players like someone much better looking. It is sorta like I said when we were house hunting, we only need one, right? Who cares how many message us? I will again say, check out the profile, take some time on it. Try to say who you are, put a conversation starter in there. Maybe that one message you get...will be the one you are looking for.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 14
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:07:06 AM
to the above posters who claim that men have success is true but understand that there are alot more men on these sites to women so think about all the men that miss out due to the number's game.

also alot of guys don't complain and just discontinue their online dating venue quietly, we only hear from the guys who do complain and there is never even a shortage of them. so yes online dating is a waste of time for alot of men, but dating in general can be a waste of time, can't it not?
 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 15
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:40:54 AM

if you're the kind of guy who finds it difficult to approach that woman looking for cucumbers at the supermarket you're kinda screwed.

If a woman is into cucumbers, then why does she need a man?
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 16
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 3:13:58 AM
op, if you're looking for a morale boost, you're in the wrong place. you'll read very few success stories here. mostly it's griping by the ill-equipped, the rurally isolated or those who refuse to admit they've given up.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 20
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 6:23:40 AM

Uhmmm....if you believe that the women are more "successful", who do you think they are dating??? MEN! Thus, it is not a waste of time for men.............


Right!
I think that every time I read men complaining the women get dates but the men don't.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 21
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 6:47:22 AM
As for females having more choices thrown at them in their mailboxes...
that isn't necessarly a "plus".
It really isn't.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 24
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 12:49:25 PM
What's better getting few or no emails that you want or 300 emails of which most are stuff you don't want. I do however know a few women in my town who are on POF who find they are getting plenty of email worth a first meet for them at least and are enjoying the fruits of all those free dinners etc. - to each their own. I found I was getting not a bad response rate when I was looking on POF but again too many too far away or too far removed from what I was looking for to bother with as my profile states I am just here for the forums. I don't think online dating is a waste of time just time consuming.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 27
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 2:07:36 PM
I'm with MisterDynomite kinda. I don't message women except on very rare occasion...I think like three in the last year. What I did was put in my profile that to me online dating is like a big Sadie Hawkin's day so if your interested contact me.


It seems to be working...

Then again, I like aggressive, confident, intelligent and driven women. If you like shy meek women then it probably won't happen.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 34
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 7:21:33 PM


The only solution to that perceived problem is for women to start flooding men's mailboxes with unsolicited requests for sex. Let's see how that works out.

LMAO! So true. Most women would never dream of emailing the types of messages that they receive from most men, which are meaningless, empty or horndog one-liners. To the men who are miffed by the inequity of the numbers of emails women (usually the hot, young with cleavage) get, know that most of these emails are of substanceless quality.


And then there's some of the stories I've heard from the women about actual "dates"... one had a guy show up on their first meet/date with a ring, wanting to marry her. Another I know had a guy telling her how he just got out of prison, or the guy that spent their entire first date (there was no second needless to say) lecturing her on the evils of drinking and how AA saved his life...

A lot of emails doesn't mean a lot of "good" prospects.
 LongLensman
Joined: 9/7/2010
Msg: 35
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/11/2010 7:34:12 PM
Online dating shouldn't be a waste of time if you are honest with your expectations of the people you're searching...
At the end of the day you really do reap what you sow.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 37
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:25:18 AM
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
“Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already.”
- Marcus Aurelius
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 38
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 4:42:37 AM

op, if you're looking for a morale boost, you're in the wrong place. you'll read very few success stories here. mostly it's griping by the ill-equipped, the rurally isolated or those who refuse to admit they've given up.




HAAAAAA! That was a good one. Jameson, don't be so frustrated, as I say time and time again "this" may not be for everybody.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 39
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 5:50:38 AM
this is why i only come here for the forums now. no one replies to my messages nor do i get any (except for one, who we are good friends now, but have no intentions of going beyond that).
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 40
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:03:05 AM
[quote ]This is inaccurate. There are no super models on this site.

How do you know for sure. Supermodels need entertainment to, they could be disguised as anyone without a picture or with someone elses picture. Some average Joes and Janes post supermodels pics on their profile to draw attention so why not the other way around just for a laugh. I can say for sure there are some women on this site who pose for their photo's as if they think they are supermodels and I am sure the same could be said for some men.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 41
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 9:25:17 AM
^^^^ to have a glimpse into the trials and tribulations of the common man and woman perhaps. People seem to be drawn to the lives of the rich and famous and it bears no resemblance to their own. It's not beyond comprehension that someone in the rich and famous see our lives as entertaining
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 42
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 11:47:50 AM
I found it fairly easy to meet women online. How well you do probably depends on how well you write and your attitude more than anything else.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 43
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 1:31:36 PM

Even so, I don't see what supermodels would possibly want to do on a lousy free dating site.

i've seen astoundingly attractive women on dating sites, including here, with photos rough enough around the edges to look real (and attitudes to match, usually).

I'm sure they have much better things to do with their time.

time management seems to be the point. my guess is these people are getting so many offers, they need software to manage them.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 44
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Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 2:13:48 PM
Am kinda getting the idea, at least in my neck o' the woods, that the whole Online Dating "thang" is basically a "waste of time" (if not worse). And not due to "quantity" or whatever, but just because there seems to be so much general "flakiness' out there in online dating, and certainly among my own more "mature" singles population.

Overall the sense I get, is that precisely because it is anonymous, "safe", and inexpensive/or free (with little invested), online dating seems to attract alot more of the kinds of folks who probably don't do human relationships or bond so well to begin with.

I tried online dating for awhile after relocating , but just personally have had much better luck (and better quality) the "old-fashioned" way... "IRL" (in real life) meeting people thru friends, volunteering, activities, etc.. But if dating online has managed to work for someone else, hey more power to 'em!
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 45
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 3:17:20 PM
Dating, diets, working out, learning, being successfully are all a waste of time if you THINK they are!

Whether you think you CAN or think you CAN'T... you are correct!
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 49
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History
Is online dating a waste of time for men?
Posted: 9/12/2010 6:01:23 PM
Re: "You CAN", etc..... the Power of Positive Thinking (aka "The Secret") is fine and all that, but knowing when to Hold 'Em (and when to Fold 'Em) is just as important (sometimes maybe more so....). But personally, I prefer the metaphor of picking the "sport" (and the arena) that best suits you. For example not everybody's tall enuff that they necessarily CAN be a basketball great!
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