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 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 1
Giving a girl flowers before a datePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Women,

Do you consider it a great gesture when a guy gives you flowers before a date. It doesn't have to be on the first date but maybe the 2nd or 3rd if you really like the girl. What are girls thoughts on recieving flowers before a date. Is it looked at as a kind gesture or comming on too strong. I guess it depends on the girl??
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 2
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:08:35 PM
No thanks, I'll pass.
You present me with a burden that I will have to haul around for the next 20 minutes to 2 hours (depending on the duration of the said date,) or leave it in my car to fry, while I'm chatting you up.
I don't know if I will like you yet, and same goes for you. Plus it feels like a bribe, and you can't buy love with flowers, but you knew that.
If there is a chance for a second date (or third etc.,) there is plenty of time for you to come up with flowers, M&M's and other goodies.

If you want to make me feel special, offer to pay for the coffee, without coming back to the forum to complain that I was cheap.

 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 3
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:21:23 PM
I'm not a woman but I always have something to add, I think that flowers should be given to someone you care about or someone you have been dating for a little bit. Flowers on the first date I think is trying too hard, the third, fourth date I would be more likely to give someone flowers because if I go on a third date with someone that means I'm interested. Every guy seems to get women red roses, it's so predictable. Red roses have meaning to them. If you're going to get your girl flowers learn what her favorite type is, cut flowers don't last too long. If I get my girlfriend flowers it's something that she can plant, hang or something in a flower pot already. Something unique because most likely the last guy got her a dozen cut red roses. Every girl will have a different answer on here so be different.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:27:09 PM
"I think that flowers should be given to someone you care about or someone you have been dating for a little bit. "

Like a wedding anniversary.

" get my girlfriend flowers it's something that she can plant, hang or something in a flower pot already."

Exactly.

I can get joy from something that just might live.

Over romantic gestures are gestures that would be given to any women. They have no meaning.

OP you are young, and trying (I assume) to do your best when you date. A real women wants real not gestures. Nice thought, but save it till it means something.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:30:56 PM
Opps doubt post sorry
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 6
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:10:50 PM
^^^I like that idea of sending flowers and a note after the date.
 MischievouslyPlayful
Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 7
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 10:19:54 PM
Agreed. I like the idea of flowers after the date.

I also like the idea of giving a gift that is related to previous conversations. When I first met my fiance and his dog, I brought a dog toy for his Jack Russel.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/13/2010 11:10:01 PM
If you're going to give a woman floweers, do it after the date and have them delivered. with a nice card telling her had a good time and would like to see her again. Pick a nice flower arrangenent that does NOT include roses. If she told you where she works (so that you don't come across as creepy for having tracked her down), send them to where she works. Since most bf are allergic to florist shops, her female friends at work will spend the rest of the day convincing her how wonderful you must be.
 greatfnguy
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 9
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:25:38 AM

I guess it depends on the girl??

Yep.

Personally I like to give flowers to a girl before the date if I am picking her up at her house.
Usually just to show that I remembered the conversation about her favorite flowers, or what flowers she remembered picking as a kid, or something relevant.
I prefer to do it when there is some purpose to it rather than just because we're dating and I don't want to show up empty handed and it is expected or accepted "date" behavior.
After learning that she actually likes flowers and doesn't see it as murdering plants for the sake of a couple days of visual (and possibly olfactory) beauty before simply being tossed in the garbage.


Is it looked at as a kind gesture or comming on too strong.

IME the difference between these two judgments is how much they are attracted to you, whether they want to see it as the best or worst of you.

If they are not all that into you, they can use that as a means to judge you and find you at fault for the failure of a continuing relationship. So instead of ditching you because they think you are butt ass ugly (no sparks, no chemistry), it's because you came on too strong.

Whereas if they are all into you and attracted to you, well then everybody knows you bring flowers to dates, and it's so sweet and thoughtful, gentlemanly, like they did in the fifties, oh he's a keeper.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 10
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 12:37:14 AM
I'll take a $20 , keep the flowers
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 11
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 1:35:28 AM
Sorry, but im not buying flowers for someone whom I might not even see again after that first date.
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 12
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 4:18:14 AM
Good points here. I agree that it could kind of look like a bribe. Thanks for the advice.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 13
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 4:44:02 AM
While any thought is always appreciated, flowers have to be the least thoughtful thought you can pick. Totally lacks originality and the "thought" will be dead in a few days. But alas, other chicks seem to like such a meaningless and wasteful tradition so keep handing out those flowers.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 14
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 4:49:21 AM
No thank you..


I brought a dog toy for his Jack Russel.


HOW cool is that? Love it.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 15
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 5:17:28 AM
I'm always touched by a gentleman who thought enough of me to give me flowers when we were getting to know each other. I've had men bring a small bouquet (or a single rose) to our first meets, and some have brought a beautiful bouquet for our second date. I'm always touched by the gesture.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 16
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 6:06:04 AM
First meet/date - a little much...but I have had someone bring me a small bunch of flowers from his garden. That seemed thoughtful and a nice touch, without going overboard.

The flowers/note the next day is a great idea.

Otherwise - to repeat what's already been said - unless you are picking her up at home (where she can put the flowers in water) they are going to be something to haul around all night, and will probably end up dead by morning...
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 17
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 6:14:19 AM
First date - nope.
Doesnt depend on the girl it depends on the guy! I would be embarassed if someone bought me flowers on a first date but I didnt like him enough to arrange a second one!
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 18
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:04:05 AM
I met a guy for dinner and he showed up with a dozen red roses. They were beautiful and I was very flattered.

Halfway through dinner he told me he also had booked us a room at a very nice local hotel ...

He apparently thought if he brought flowers I'd agree to his plan ...

No, I didn't go ... and I've never heard from him again.

So, yeah. Flowers before any future date would likely cause me to turn and run.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 19
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:08:09 AM

It would be hard for me to comprehend a women who doesn`t appreciate a man giving her a gift.


This is about flowers before the date/meet.

Giving a girl flowers before a date

that's the thread title.



Flowers before a date make me uncomfortable.

^^^^^^^^^

Unless I KNOW you ..I don't want them sent to me by a stranger..And he would need my address wouldn't he???????????????????????

NOT smart.

I often have been given small gifts that were personalized and done the same on a first REAL date after a cup of coffee even a first meet if we have talked a while and he came more than a few miles.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 20
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:38:40 AM
OP: It would depend on the woman. Is she allergic to flowers? Is she a romantic soul?

I would rather he gave them to me after our date vs. walking around with them. Unless it's a single flower...........
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 21
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:48:56 AM
I always bring flowers because I learned about women you can tell a lot by if she grabs them out of your hand and eats them on the spot, it's going to be a wild ride, but if she just goes to put them in water, you might has well have brought a book to read.
 _GeekyGirl_
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 22
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 8:43:38 AM

What are girls thoughts on recieving flowers before a date. Is it looked at as a kind gesture or comming on too strong. I guess it depends on the girl??


No don't ever do this. EVER. Not now, not later, not with any girl. It's definitely coming on too strong. It doesn't depend on the girl either.

The problem is that it reeks of desperation and "PLEASE like me!" No flowers, no gifts, not that early in the dating game.

Take care and good luck.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 23
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 8:56:09 AM

No thanks, I'll pass.
You present me with a burden that I will have to haul around for the next 20 minutes to 2 hours (depending on the duration of the said date,) or leave it in my car to fry, while I'm chatting you up.
I don't know if I will like you yet, and same goes for you. Plus it feels like a bribe, and you can't buy love with flowers, but you knew that.
If there is a chance for a second date (or third etc.,) there is plenty of time for you to come up with flowers, M&M's and other goodies.

If you want to make me feel special, offer to pay for the coffee, without coming back to the forum to complain that I was cheap.


Exactly what shutterfly said!

Gifts are a bit too much on the first date, I think.

Later on, a guy giving me flowers (especially during summer) would show he doesn't know me *that* well, since I have suffered from hayfever for years.
 pat11863
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 24
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Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 9:00:13 AM
Depends on the girl
As I seem to go against the flow and would love flowers before and /or after a date. I would think it was very romantic and very gentlemanly. I do agree though that you would have to be picking her up at her home to give them to her before the date or have them sent to her a few hours before.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 25
Giving a girl flowers before a date
Posted: 9/14/2010 9:13:37 AM
Yes, it depends on the girl. Personally, I have no idea why a woman would have a negative response to getting flowers from a man she liked enough to have a second or third date with, unless she was allergic to flowers and in which case I am sure the gesture, if not the gift itself, would be appreciated.

Of course, you are always going to get people that will find fault with what you do no matter how sincere or well meaning. The joke of it is that the same women that will complain about a guy bringing her flowers and criticize him for being too needy or pushing things too far too fast will be the same women that will b***h about the lack of chivarly in our society. Men are either gentlemen or they are not in my opinion and an appreciation of their good manners and consideration should not be dependent on some pre-existing timeframe a woman has in her head for when that behaviour is appropriate.
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