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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?      Home login  
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 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 1
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Hey, I was just wondering what others thought about this subject. Is it always true that if they cheat with you they will cheat on you? I dated a married man a few months back (he lived with her) and was completely convinced that he was going to leave and be with me. Imagine my shock when he left me (and the wife) for his ex gf. Has anyone had a positive outcome with a person who has cheated WITH them (when you actually knew they had a spouse or SO and didnt care)?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 2
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:05:52 PM
Huh????? Obviously you didn't get taught this simple BASIC TRUTH when you were a child. Obviously you have never heard of karma,,,,and what it can be,,,in the end. Obviously,,,,okay I'll stop now in fear of waking you out of your slumber.

You shouldn't even be posting this question,,,,cause this is not rocket science. It's called the basic "golden rule".

Oh,,,,I've NEVER cheated,,,,,EVER. Therefore, no outcome. Anybody that I know that cheated with someone got what they deserved in the end,,,,and THAT was pretty positive,,,,in my eyes.
 wolftxusa
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 3
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:09:42 PM
No, because I don't cheat nor wreck homes.


Imagine my shock when he left me (and the wife) for his ex gf.

What a b*stard! How dare he cheat on... Wait a minute, who did he cheat on? The irony is that you probably feel just as miserable as his wife, but at least SHE gets half. Don't you feel cheated?
 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 4
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:20:57 PM
when I said imagine my shock, I was being sarcastic. I know I got what I deserved and I know what I did was wrong. I posted because I wondered if it had all worked out in the end for anyone else. If I was so worried about bad comments I wouldnt have posted but I have learned my lesson so thats why I asked.
 stella_ardente
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 5
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:22:43 PM
OP, I don't think you're going to get many true confessions here.

I think the more important questions the person should be asking his/herself are "will I ever trust her/him?" and "will she/he ever trust me?"
From my outsider observation, I think the answers are "more often than not, no and no."
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 6
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:38:55 PM
Always is one of those blanket statements I try to avoid. Cheating TENDS to be a learned behaviour and once it is learned it is hard to unlearn, especially when you factor in the sexual stimulation, thrill of the hunt, excitement/dangers of living a double life and maybe getting caught, rewards some people get out of it.

I won't say it is impossible for someone who has a history of cheating to get into a relationship and not cheat again but, I would say the odds are against it. If fidelity is a major issue for you, you should probably avoid dating people with a history of cheating.
 NowSucksLess
Joined: 2/4/2010
Msg: 7
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:51:00 PM

Hey, I was just wondering what others thought about this subject. Is it always true that if they cheat with you they will cheat on you? I dated a married man a few months back (he lived with her) and was completely convinced that he was going to leave and be with me. Imagine my shock when he left me (and the wife) for his ex gf. Has anyone had a positive outcome with a person who has cheated WITH them (when you actually knew they had a spouse or SO and didnt care)?


Why do you even ask the question unless you are planning to do it again?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:58:23 PM
I'm sure it isn't always true, but I'd have to ask myself why I'd think that I could cause a person who cheated with me to suddenly decide that cheating was wrong.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 9
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 7:23:57 PM
Once a miserable, lying cheating, b astard
always a....you know,
That kind of behavior usually escalates
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 10
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 7:32:31 PM
I would generally say that people who cheat will have that tendency to cheat unless and until they call it what it is and seek help for why they are doing it.
In your case, you had your head in the sand ( and a head's up) when you were seeing him while he was with his w-i-f-e. Holy crap. What do you expect?
 txredbull
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 11
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History
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 7:47:50 PM
No there is no always for anything.

People who have been cheated on tell themselves this so they feel better about it. Also what you believe, tends to come true. So if you enter a relationship, where always in the back of our mind, you are thinking, "will this person cheat on me", well you just have increased the odds they will exponentially. Keep your thinking POSITIVE !

No guarantees in life. When it comes to people, there are odds but even that is basically worthless to predict human behavoir...simple case, they try and do it all the time in elections and other such attempts...and they are wrong just a few times less than they are right.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 12
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 8:20:04 PM
Don't believe them OP, Him kicking your morally lacking butt to the curb for someone else is the exception not the rule. I am quite sure the next time you drop your Victoria Secrets while wrecking some unsuspecting womans marriage it will all work out for you.

You know what they say, all the good ones are taken, but a go getter like you would never let a little thing like a wedding ring get in the way of your happiness. Kudos to you my lacking in scruples friend.
 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 13
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 8:36:56 PM
yep, I had bad morals at that time. yep, I got what I deserved. yep, it was totally wrong. I'm not making excuses or trying to say what I did was ok. It wasnt. But would I do it again? Hell no! Id like to think that I have learned my lesson. Im sorry but no man is worth stealing. I see that now.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 14
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 9:04:37 PM
Of course if he cheats with you he will cheat on you.The fact that he is cheating proves him to be a low morales piece of crap.It doesn't say any good things about you either.


Stay out of others peoples marriages.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 15
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 9:23:31 PM
OP: If you learned your lesson, why are you curious to find out if anyone was "successful" in a scenario as you just described?

Plus, do you really believe anyone will fess up to something like this? NOT!

P.S. I have no idea what the outcome would be...would not go there, and don't know anyone who has.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 16
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/22/2010 9:42:24 PM
This is IDIOTIC.

By definition he's already cheating on you if you cheat with him. What part of 3rd leg do you not understand? What part of "came from her warm bed" do you not understand? What part of "He screws his wife, then he screws you" do you not understand?

The very moment you make out with a married man you have been betrayed, because he just came from his wife!
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 17
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:04:51 AM
Haven't done this, personally, but a couple of friends have, over the years, and I can't recall any positive outcomes. Generally, whether or not there was cheating later on, my recollection is getting tearful late-night calls saying things like, "I just can't stop wondering if he's out with some other girl like he used to be with me..."

That inability to trust alone is enough to sink things more often than not, as some have noted already. I think its being rooted in undeniable fact is what makes it hard, if not impossible, to get past it.

And I can attest that it's hard on your friends, too! Waiting for someone to get over a period of insanity like this and come to her senses is seriously wearying.

Glad to see you feel you've learned from this and are resolved not to do it again.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 18
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:40:38 AM
" Is it always true that if they cheat with you they will cheat on you? "

Not always, just 99.9 % of the time.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 19
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 3:18:41 AM

Hey, I was just wondering what others thought about this subject. Is it always true that if they cheat with you they will cheat on you? I dated a married man a few months back (he lived with her) and was completely convinced that he was going to leave and be with me. Imagine my shock when he left me (and the wife) for his ex gf. Has anyone had a positive outcome with a person who has cheated WITH them (when you actually knew they had a spouse or SO and didnt care)?



Well, I never cheated on anybody.....when I got tired of someone I run them off. I never got involved with a girl seeing someone already(that I know of) If I did though I would "Never" trust her. I'd be a fool if I did.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 5:51:48 AM
People that cheat, tend to cheat again. So if that is how your relationship started, that is how your relationship will end.
 Chill Pill
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 21
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:57:18 AM
I cheated when I was younger, much younger in a serious relationship.
I learned from it. It was painful.

The man I cheated on never knew I cheated on him.... but I DID.
I had to get up in the morning look in the mirror and was telling myself what
a lowlife piece of crap I was every day. The guilt nearly had me in a breakdown.
I was remorseful and I bottled it up, because I couldnt tell my SO.
I never did tell him. It was a short lived thing... but in my conscious it was
a LONG TERM thing. It took me years to forgive myself.

I don't cheat now. I wouldn't. I would either try to resolve what would motivate me
to cheat on my partner or LEAVE him first. Nothing is worth that self loathing.
Nothing.

So, "Once a cheater always a cheater" is not true for me.
Once was enough. I don't ever want to feel that way about myself again.

If you are truly learning through this OP, then perhaps you to will
come to terms with your mistake and lack of morals and you won't
help a married man cheat on his wife again. I hope so.

Be HAPPY, that you have a conscious and you are regretting this choice.
It shows me that you have more moral fiber than you think you do, and
the chances are that you will not become involved this way again are good.

Pain is a great motivator. You will change through this pain and you will
grow from it. Good. Be remorseful but regroup and forgive yourself.
Part of forgiving yourself is never making that mistake again. Amen.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 22
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:14:28 AM
OP, I'm not going to lecture you as you clearly already know that being involved with a married man is a losing proposition, a complete dead end, and something that will come back to bite you in the ass. So no need to repeat that over and over.

Will they cheat with you - then on you? My Crazy 8 Ball says "most likely."
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 23
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:27:08 AM
The Op says she has learned something from this experience. I also see that she has blocked married men from contacting her on her profile. no experience is ever totally bad if we have learned something good from it.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:30:13 AM

So, "Once a cheater always a cheater" is not true for me.
Once was enough. I don't ever want to feel that way about myself again.


Very good statement and worth analyzing. The thing here is guilt and feeling that you did something wrong. People that cheat feel justified, and that is why they have no guilt with crossing the line. And even if they feel guilt or bad, they have an excuse deep inside.

So I would agree with Mad Chill here.
 hellokitty1025
Joined: 8/20/2010
Msg: 25
is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:46:44 AM
I do appreciate all the serious replies. Actually I appreciate all responses. The point of my post was not to find out how to be "successful" at stealing another man, it was to hopefully warn someone who was considering doing this too that its not worth it. I have to live with this every day and thats punishment enough for me. All I know is Im being honest with myself when I say I deserve way better than that.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > is it always true that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?