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 AUTHOR
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 1
Over 45 & never married...............Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
For those of you who have never married yet but really would like to be, do you feel cheated sometimes? I am surrounded by people who are very happily married and wonder what that would be like. Sure I'm realistic and know that you can get on one another's nerves, but I feel that dating men who have been divorced, I will just be subjected to them raining on my parade. What is the point of dating them if they tell me right upfront they will never get married again? I don't want them to lie to me either.
How many here feel like they're from another planet for never being married by now? How many people think that married has-beens have a totally different mindset and are almost impossible to develop a bond with?
How many women here think they might have had children had they found a loving, responsible, commited man?
How many marrieds feel that it's their turn at happiness and to be loved for a change?
At 47 - I'm losing hope of ever finding someone nice.
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 5:57:26 PM

What is the point of dating them if they tell me right upfront they will never get married again?

the potential for relationship. who they are as people. what they bring. not the obsolete, economically driven rubber stamp of church and state, with all its fetishized symbolism and expectations.

How many people think that married has-beens have a totally different mindset and are almost impossible to develop a bond with?

not i. (answer based on line-item veto of your prejudicial term 'has-beens,' for which i'll substitute 'people.') but i'm having a good day, so i'm less inclined to judge people based on categories i assign them, and more based on their individual traits and circumstances.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 3
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:14:13 PM
I for one don't regret never being married or having no kids. I have not given up meeting someone that I might spend the rest of my life with but I don't enter a relationship with that in mind. If the relationship becomes that great if not I hope to share some great memories.

I do not find women or men who are divorced with kids any more or less content than those never married with no kids although the latter seem to be rare ( more so for women than for men ). I would say it all depends on what that person has experienced and how they have reacted and grown from it. Some people I have met have divorced and put that behind them and their kids are now grown and starting to leave the nest they are entering a new phase in their lives and some are looking forward to being single again or the duties of grandparenthood and they don't feel they have missed out. Some never married no kids people are quite content and some are not. On average the ones I have known who are the least content typically tend to be the ones struggling financially who don't have the means to explore their interests.

There are always people with children out there for people who want children in their lives but have never had any of their own - I have never been hung up on the idea that children have to be from my own genes.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 4
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:41:17 PM
No, in fact once I turned 40 I wondered why I would want to get married. As it turned out, I met my fiancee here last year, but when we met, the last thing I was looking for was a wife. I really feel lucky. Since I haven't been married, I haven't had to deal with divorce, kids, child support, custody, visitation, lawyers and all the other crap that so many people who get married young end up dealing with. How could I possibly feel cheated?

What is the point of dating them if they tell me right upfront they will never get married again? I don't want them to lie to me either.

Well, I like sex and I don't have to get married for that.

How many marrieds feel that it's their turn at happiness and to be loved for a change?

I'd be more inclined to ask 45+ year olds who have been married since age 20 if they feel it's their turn for happiness. I'm quite happy that I stayed single and would have been happy being single forever had I not met my fiancee. What's wrong with being single and happy?
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 5
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 6:53:47 PM
I am another odd duck out here. I was married to one guy for 31 years and I'm now widowed. I don't have an ex and I certainly don't have anybody that pissed me off, used me, left me angry and bitter. Just a happy broad out there looking for a happy guy to add that special something to my life. I won't fall apart if I don't find him. I can't count the number of angry guys I've sat across from having a first cup of coffee. Some have had their shyte together, most not. I would not hesitate to go out with someone who has never been married. There aren't too many out there though. I would say that the majority of never marrieds have had some sort of long term relationship whether they lived together or not. The "married" part isn't a big deal to me. My sister, who has never been married, has been living with the same fellow for 20 years. I consider her to be in a long term relationship basically the same as married. They have the same benefits without the piece of paper or the name change.

The same applies to children, some folks want them, some folks don't and some never had the opportunity or the ability. Of my 4 siblings, two of us have children, two don't.

As for contentment, it's like the happy/unhappy thread - content is a choice. Some are content, some aren't. I was content in my marriage with one son, other folks are content in being single and no children. Some folks can be in any situation and they won't be content.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 6
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 7:25:57 PM
Count me in the "45 and never married club"!!!

I don't feel like I'm from another "planet", but I love that I don't have a divorce/child custody drama, etc..... in my life (like many). I've never really had a HUGE desire to marry/have children. If it happened fine, but not something that was part of my life "agenda". At this point, I won't consider children, as I just turned 45. However, I do desire to share my life with a companion/partner, and if it leads to marriage I'm not opposed to it.

Dating these days is a bit discouraging, but it is what it is....I just enjoy my life, don't harp on it and if it happens AWESOME. If not, I'm still living a happy and healthy life, and I'm sure I will meet "him" some day.

I have been blessed with wonderful people/great things in my life and have no regrets.
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 7
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:35:51 PM
I'll get married if I can find a woman who is desperate enough. My thinking before was that it was enough to be together and that marriage was a custom for people who were raised to want it, which I never was. Then, recently, it occurred to me that if I get married I could get laid, at home, without having to buy drinks or anything. I'm all for it now.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:40:52 PM
^ Oh no. If you get married you better keep up the romance or you'll be right back here hoping to get laid.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 9
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:53:33 PM

At 47 - I'm losing hope of ever finding someone nice.

Are you ???

I looked up your profile,
Every sentence states:
"I have no interest in a man ...(insert condition here)"
I haven't seen such a negative narrative for a while, and I read hundreds of profiles.
You can express all these ideas in a positive manner.
I understand you are a musician, but the primadonna attitude does not make you desirable.
Try friendly, instead, it might work better.

All people marrieds and un-marrieds desire to love and be loved, but they don't know if they want marry again. Some plainly don't. Some don't until they do.

There are no guaranties, and certainly no guaranties that can be expressed of implied until they know you. There are men here who proudly declare that they want to get married.
Try them, and if they have been married before and they still like it, so much the better, there is hope...

 Beyond the Cleavage
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 10
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/23/2010 10:41:59 PM

Then, recently, it occurred to me that if I get married I could get laid, at home, without having to buy drinks or anything. I'm all for it now.

Yeah, you wouldn't have to buy drinks or anything and I wouldn't have to shave my underarms or brush my teeth. Let's get married!
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 11
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 4:07:55 AM
I looked up your profile,
Every sentence states:
"I have no interest in a man ...(insert condition here)"
I haven't seen such a negative narrative for a while, and I read hundreds of profiles.
You can express all these ideas in a positive manner.
I understand you are a musician, but the primadonna attitude does not make you desirable.
Try friendly, instead, it might work better.

All people marrieds and un-marrieds desire to love and be loved, but they don't know if they want marry again. Some plainly don't. Some don't until they do.


Thank you for the advice - actually I have hidden my profile for a while till I can heal & develope a more positive attitude.

Actually in my profile I give examples of the types of men that have been trying to enter into my life. They talk about me in their bedroom in the first few emails, before they have offered to meet me, even before the first date. When I try to slow it down & remind them we haven't even had a first date yet, they get all pissy.

Another man for the past month talked to me online everyday - he was everything I wanted and more. When I he finally got the courage to call & after we video chatted to see each other in person & were planning to meet, I googled the last name on my caller ID. A facebook profile with his wifey & grandkids came up. I'm usually very perceptive but this time I was stupid.

An old classmate on face-book who lives on the other side of town keeps sending me very "romantic" messages yet when I asked if he would like to talk on the phone and possible get together - turns out he has no phone and no transportation. I think he wonders why I don't really respond - he never actually asked me out.
It seems that guys want to throw out romantic one liners, but when they never express that they are actually interested in a date or meeting, it's kind of a waste of time don't you think?
Anyhow, when men that are undateable keep coming into my realm, I have to keep adding disclaimers. and the list could go on and on of the winners.

and you are assuming that I'm not friendly. And how does being a musician automatically mean I have a primadonna attitude? I am smiling and having fun in all my photos & I don't hide the fact that I am plus size which I am well aware is not everyone's cup of tea. That's why I let the other person initiate contact.

How does a woman maintain healthy boundaries while letting men into her life whose own lives are a trainwreck?

Do I just put on my profile I'll take anybody?


So yes, I feel cheated, but that's what happens when you marry somebody with mental health problems.


I grew up with a mentally ill abusive mother and studied about mental illness quite a bit. That is one of my worst fears is letting someone into my life that is abusive or mentally unstable. I definitely would choose being alone first. I'm always looking for red flags like controlling behavior, short fuse, manipulation, etc.

It seems like many people here who are divorced want a do-over. In that way I am fortunate I have never had to go through that. I sometimes joke that I've made mistakes in life but at least I didn't marry them.

I'm getting off track, but the reason I started this thread is - doesn't there seem to be a different mindset between those who have been already married and those who haven't?

I just think they don't think of marriage as anything special, and think that I'm stupid for wanting it someday. Obviously I'm waiting for the right person & don't jump into anything, but I haven't seen anyone with integrity for quite a while.



 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 12
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 4:40:55 AM
If you want to get married than don't give up hope but, maybe it is not so much the institution of marriage that is the draw for you but the IDEA of what you think that represents.

You can have a loving, committed relationship full of fun and laughter and companionship and joy without the bonds of matrimony.

If marriage is a must for you in order to pursue something long term then you better get used to the idea that you are going to run into a lot of divorced people who are kind of jaded to the idea of marriage after having failed at it themselves, maybe more than once. You are forty seven after all, not seventeen and a lot of people in your age bracket have walked down that aisle before.

Just because a man is not willing to repeat what was a bad experience for him it does not mean he is incapable of loving you, he is just not capable of falling in love with the idea of being married again. For you, never having done it, marriage is some fantasy land. For people who are divorced it looks a lot like the seventh circle of hell from Dante's Inferno.

Their reasons for not wanting to marry probably have nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with their own perceptions of marriage. Maybe you should start thinking about "long term committed relationship" as an option and stop worrying so much about the label that you put on it. Keep in mind that if you live with someone for a full year in most locations that is considered a common law marriage anyway. Perhaps it is time to broaden your horizons on terms of how you think about relationships. After all, what is the objective here, to wear a white dress while carrying a bouquest of flowers, have a reception and a dance, and take a few photographs or, find someone to spend your life with and be happy with?

I am not trying to say you should give up on the idea of marriage, I am just saying do not deprive yourself of the option of spending your life with someone wonderful who will treat you well because they don't want to get married.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 13
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 5:41:32 AM
onenightengagement:
The problem is I have always been aware that men especially are commitmentphobes so I never even bring up the subject of marriage or commitment for fear of scaring them away. All longer term relationships have been pretty ambiguous. I was all about pleasing them and some stayed with me for up to 2 years till they realized they had probably milked the relationship for all it was worth before I would mention the "C" or "M" word. I figured their mere presence was enough, but knew in the back of my mind they didn't think I was good enough to make a real and valid commitment to. I doubt that any of them really loved me as I did them, and saw me just as a convenience till someone better came along. I would hold on for the longest time treating them like a king, just hoping they would recognize my value. It's like my best wasn't good enough. Not ever being able to plan a future with someone, I felt my life was on hold all of the time.

Many assume that because now I am not afraid to say what I need or want, that I somehow have always pressured men or have been demanding. Actually in the past few years since my last LTR have I really evaluated I settled for too little in the past, and 2 years with this person, 2 years with that person, really fritters away a woman's youth. It's not just the wedding day & white dress I seek - I can look well beyond that. I actually enjoy cohabitation very much, but just a live in boyfriend doesn't bode well for my career in a conservative, family oriented area. As well - just being someone's girlfriend at my age seems a little stupid, & doesn't make me feel special. If a man is going to be ambiguous about his relationship with me after a year or so, then that shows his lack of sincerity.

Of course a relationship has to happen naturally, but when every guy just wants to sit at home on his pc & just jerk women around, or think that he can just throw a couple of romantic one liners and a woman is his forever, even the first 2 or 3 dates seem to be more difficult than the building of Rome. Some guys have told me about women they've met online that have wanted to get married after the first couple of dates. That is just crazy, but then I'm wondering if they are realy stretching the story quite a bit, and what really happened is maybe she was just asking if they are open to the idea on down the road a bit. I can't believe that anyone would pressure someone after just meeting them once or twice.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 14
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 7:13:19 AM

If you want to get married than don't give up hope but, maybe it is not so much the institution of marriage that is the draw for you but the IDEA of what you think that represents.

You can have a loving, committed relationship full of fun and laughter and companionship and joy without the bonds of matrimony.

If marriage is a must for you in order to pursue something long term then you better get used to the idea that you are going to run into a lot of divorced people who are kind of jaded to the idea of marriage after having failed at it themselves, maybe more than once. You are forty seven after all, not seventeen and a lot of people in your age bracket have walked down that aisle before.

Just because a man is not willing to repeat what was a bad experience for him it does not mean he is incapable of loving you, he is just not capable of falling in love with the idea of being married again. For you, never having done it, marriage is some fantasy land. For people who are divorced it looks a lot like the seventh circle of hell from Dante's Inferno.

Their reasons for not wanting to marry probably have nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with their own perceptions of marriage. Maybe you should start thinking about "long term committed relationship" as an option and stop worrying so much about the label that you put on it. Keep in mind that if you live with someone for a full year in most locations that is considered a common law marriage anyway. Perhaps it is time to broaden your horizons on terms of how you think about relationships. After all, what is the objective here, to wear a white dress while carrying a bouquest of flowers, have a reception and a dance, and take a few photographs or, find someone to spend your life with and be happy with?

I am not trying to say you should give up on the idea of marriage, I am just saying do not deprive yourself of the option of spending your life with someone wonderful who will treat you well because they don't want to get married.


^^Wise words, OneNight..........
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 15
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 7:26:16 AM
Well if marriage is such a horrible and devastating thing, perhaps we should inform the gays that are fighting for that right? Just sayin..............
 az109
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 16
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 7:42:11 AM
I didn't know about married life that if a husband wants his wife to brush her teeth and shave her armpits he has to get her drunk first. Now I wonder what else my married friends have been keeping from me, but at the same time I don't want to know. If the choice is between a sober wife with bad teeth and hairy armpits, or one who...no, it's not something I care to think about. Marriage is best left to those whose cultures demand it, who were prepared for its odd habits and requirements. I will stick to single life after all.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 17
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 7:43:00 AM

All longer term relationships have been pretty ambiguous. I was all about pleasing them and some stayed with me for up to 2 years till they realized they had probably milked the relationship for all it was worth before I would mention the "C" or "M" word.

I'm a little confused. If you're in a relationship that has lasted 2 years, why do you need to bring up the word committment? Regardless of what anyone says, committing to a relationship, even marriage, means committing to stay in a relationship as long as it lasts, which is what everyone does by default. If that weren't the case, divorce wouldn't be so common. You're really asking a guy to make a drastic change in his life, not commit to a relationship. He's already committed 2 years to you. If you didn't like the terms, you shouldn't have gotten into the relationship in the first place.

I actually enjoy cohabitation very much, but just a live in boyfriend doesn't bode well for my career in a conservative, family oriented area.

Your career was your choice. If your choices limit your options for a relationship, that's just the way it goes. I chose to start a business. I knew that would rule out dating women who wanted a stable guy with a 9-5 job and a healthy IRA, so I didn't try to date those women. I told women what they could expect up front. You should do the same. Then, you'll only date guys who are on the same page from day 1. If you're happy cohabitating and you're letting your job stop you from cohabitating, then it's your choice to exclude a lot of relationships that would make you happy.

As well - just being someone's girlfriend at my age seems a little stupid, & doesn't make me feel special.

How you feel about it is up to you. You can always decide to feel special because you are someone's girlfriend.

If a man is going to be ambiguous about his relationship with me after a year or so, then that shows his lack of sincerity.

Personally, I think you ought to know what kind of relationship someone is willing to be in before you ever get into a relationship. I don't think you mean ambiguous. I think you mean that after a year, you weren't able to establish terms that differed from the ones you started with. That's your fault for getting into a relatiionship on terms you wanted to change sometime later. Try not getting into a relationship until you find someone whose idea of a relationship includes your idea of a relationship so that you both know why you're in a relationship.

Habing a negative attitude toward men isn't going to help. First take responsibilty for your dating life and don't date men who don't want the same thing you want. You'll date fewer men, but you won't get stuck in a relationship with someone you'll want to change.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 18
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 9:25:32 AM
abelian - I agree with almost all the points you have made.


I'm a little confused. If you're in a relationship that has lasted 2 years, why do you need to bring up the word committment?


A couple of them were cohabitation with issues (they were alcoholics). The last 2 that lasted 2 years were just because they showed up every weekend or I spent the weekend at their place. It isn't how I envisioned the rest of my life with someone & I didn't see our relationship growing.



How you feel about it is up to you. You can always decide to feel special because you are someone's girlfriend


It's how a partner feels about me that is important. If he has had a reasonable amount of time to get to know me and still doesn't feel I'm worthy of a lifetime commitment, now I don't continue to wait, and move on quickly. I wouldn't stick around for a man who is ambivalent towards me now if I don't see the same affection and commitment that I give to him.
One of my favorite quotes now is "Never make someone a priority that only sees you as an option".



Try not getting into a relationship until you find someone whose idea of a relationship includes your idea of a relationship so that you both know why you're in a relationship.


Gosh I never thought of that lol. and we all know men will be honest and not string a woman along telling her what she wants to hear.


I've seen so many ladies here discussing how the guy says LTR on his profile, but starts hinting at sex with them before even meeting the first time. I do really wonder why they don't just save everyone some time and say they are looking for a casual encounter. I see nothing wrong with that. It just doesn't work for me.




Personally, I think you ought to know what kind of relationship someone is willing to be in before you ever get into a relationship. I don't think you mean ambiguous. I think you mean that after a year, you weren't able to establish terms that differed from the ones you started with. That's your fault for getting into a relatiionship on terms you wanted to change sometime later. Try not getting into a relationship until you find someone whose idea of a relationship includes your idea of a relationship so that you both know why you're in a relationship.


I agree wholeheartedly, and I'm not being snarky. Since I've gotten on online dating sites I've always been a very firm believer in laying all my cards on the table. My life is an open book - even in the forums. I figure I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. I am a kind person who enjoys life whther I'm alone or not.




Habing a negative attitude toward men isn't going to help.


You are right again - I agree, which I why I am giving myself a break and have any profiles anywhere down or hidden. To be honest most men online have not given me much of a reason to like them or even trust them. I am taking time for myself and to heal. It helps talking it out in the forums as well, even if it's just to vent a little. Many men are not the best at verbal communication - sometimes the whole online dating process is like trying to play Marco Polo with Helen Keller.

This was NOT meant as a self pity thread, or why can't I find a husband thread. Actually I was not looking for advice necessarily but looking for other people my age who have never married and feeling like they are very different from those who have been married. Dating divorced men is quite a challenge as there are many levels on which I can't relate to them. They seem to have a lot of unfinished business with ex's. I'm already aware chances of someone not marrying by this age are slim, that's why I think I am part of a very small minority. To be honest it's something I kind of take pride in.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 9:44:17 AM
I remember once, I met this guy I was really attracted to. We had a great conversation and when the subject of marriage and ex spouses came up, he looked ashamed and said "Ok, I'm 45 and I've never been married." From his tone I could tell he expected rejection, but I just smiled and said "And that's why you look so young."
 Sno-Cat
Joined: 6/2/2010
Msg: 20
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 9:57:35 AM
usually, I get two standard responses when folks find out I'm a 'never married'. 1: that there's something "wrong" with me. 2: that I'm gay. I realized early on that I did'nt want to do the whole 'settle down n raise a family' thing, and took steps to ensure that it would not happen, even by "accident" as it were. (meaning surgical methods) although I am looking for a relationship, I'm still not sure about marrying. after living alone & on my own for over 30 years, I'm not sure if I could share living space with another person for any real length of time. also, due to both circumstance and inclination, I have never lived in any one place for more than 5 years at a stretch. and meeting with folks @ my age, married, or divorced, I find that their values are way different than mine. it's been suggested that these folks have "grown up" more than I have, I find it amusing so I suppose there's some truth in that. but even with other older singles, I find a real lack of common ground. hobbies, interests, values, and just general views on life all seem to be off, to a greater or lesser degree depending on relative age, gender or socio-economics. all in all, I dont regret the paths I've walked, and find that I'm reasonably happy with my life.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 21
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 10:00:02 AM

Gosh I never thought of that lol. and we all know men will be honest and not string a woman along telling her what she wants to hear.

I don't really think you have to rely on what a guy tells you. Rely on what he does. Be willing to be ruthless in dropping someone whose actions are inconsistent with what he tells you.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 22
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 11:20:01 AM
You are in a bit of a pickle it would seem. You tried the no pressure deal and it backfired and now you have been going with a more directed approach and that too is not working.

You seem like a very nice lady and I wish I could search the crevasses of my rather warped mind and come up with a solution for you, usually I am pretty good at that but, I am afraid the only answer I can come up with is to do what everyone else does who is single and seeking, keep on plugging away at it.

You might want to check around in your area and see if there are any social clubs, activity clubs, hobby groups, etc., close by that you can join that are geared toward people your age and get out and give them a try if there are. It will provide a much needed break from online dating if nothing else and allow you to meet some people face to face and see how they interact with others prior to a first date if such should be forthcoming.

It is easier to make a determination of suitablity, compatibility in person than over the internet.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 23
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 12:24:32 PM

after living alone & on my own for over 30 years, I'm not sure if I could share living space with another person for any real length of time.


^^^I can relate to this all too well!!! At times, I wonder if the "perfect" setting for people like us would be me in my home and you in yours, but we are each other's S.O.

I guess we'll know when the time arrives for this type of decision-making.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 24
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 12:41:57 PM
"How many people think that married has-beens have a totally different mindset and are almost impossible to develop a bond with?"

Not all of them will never marry again.. Otherwise you would not see the remarriages you do.. However would say the older they are the less likely they want to..

Try dating men you age or younger you might find them more open to the idea..

Good Luck
thecatsmeoww
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Over 45 & never married...............
Posted: 9/24/2010 1:23:54 PM

At times, I wonder if the "perfect" setting for people like us would be me in my home and you in yours, but we are each other's S.O.

i know a married couple who live this way. both were divorced and found each other in their 50s. they have separate houses on the same block, so it's easy to be together when they want that, and easy to create a little distance when they want that, and issues over how to share space are minimized. they seem as happy as can be.

one size doesn't fit all, nor should it.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 45 & never married...............