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 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 1
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need itPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
i have been messaging girls constantly, but none are responding. i feel that i am an attractive guy, so is it my profile, or is it me? why am i not getting responded to?


heres my profile:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=22477617

i might have the wrong subject.....my default subject is always:
I like what i see.......
 softy599
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 2
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why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/29/2010 6:32:46 PM
Not bad. Mostly just need to work on some spelling/grammar stuff.

As for why no response.... what do you say when you email a women you are interested in?
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 3
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/29/2010 6:41:43 PM
i mix it up slightly but most first messages are like this:

hi XXXXX.
my name's XXXXXX. i am originally from XX, and went to HS in XX.
i am down here for my education.
i want to know more about you.
besides your XXXXX, of course, what is the first thing people notice about you? (personality- wise or physically)
 PandaBeast
Joined: 9/21/2010
Msg: 4
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/29/2010 6:48:21 PM
Well you are a good looking dude. No homo
Yoour profile ain't really bad. Good actually, you just need to take care of grammar mistakes, capitalization and paragraph structure.

And cut that "I wanna meet friends" bullish*t. Every one knows why you are here.
Good luck.
 You go first
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 5
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/29/2010 8:49:26 PM
Your opening line is loaded with cliches:

I am laid back, loyal and easy going every guy here is 'easy going' and 'laid back'. You missed 'chill'. Instead, give an example, like "I'm the guy that smiles patiently while the lady in front of me at the checkout pays her bill with exact change. Eventually..."

with a great sense of humor. Don't tell us, prove it.

I like to go out and socialize and I also like to relax at home watching a good movie or have a good laugh watching comedy. Going out/staying in. Seriously, it's really one or the other, isn't it? Life is like the hokey pokey. Instead, "When I go out for an evening, my friends and I usually .... " or: "When my buddies and I are planning a night in, we like to ... "

Don't lecture about the photos - delete the email restriction, too. Many really great girls have no photos posted for a variety of legit reasons, but have private images to share once you start corresponding. You can easily ask for a photo if someone messages you without one. If they don't send one, you can simply say "Thanks anyway. Good luck in your search." You may be pleasantly surprised what will happen if you message a girl without a photo, too.


Your first messages feel cut-and-paste. When you make it about appearance (ie: I like what I see.... what do people notice about you) it feels creepy to the girl. Instead, focus on one of her Interests or something she's mentioned in her profile. If I were writing to you, I'd use Basketball like this:
-------------------------------------------------------
Subject line : Basketball!

Message: I've never tried it, but then again I have a distinct lack-of-height problem there! Do you play for your school? YGF
-----------------------------------------------------------------

I used it as a subject because I know it is something you're interested in which means - in theory - you should read the message. I kept it non-physical, made an appropriate comment, did not beg you to check me out and message me back and asked one question so you have an easy way to respond. This is more like a first conversation that the intereview/essay request you proposed. See the difference?
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 6
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why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/30/2010 9:42:08 PM
2nd pic is your prevous life as a wookie. Pics are okay but need to be better. Get some that show a complete form. Don't look studios, its self involved.

About me starts everything with "I", that just seem naive. Don't say positives, no one believes them, its the sort of stuff the people say aloud in Posideon Adventure just before they get swamped by the flood. Demonstrate strengths, don't say them.

The business about "If I looked at you" is irksome. Get rid of it. Discussing online life in online life doesn't work.

Pics would help a lot. Look for many. Fix up the best. Keep adding photos, changing things.

Also I'd guess your lines aren't working in notes. The basics are: say something that relates to what they've said in their profiles, something unique. Keep it very short. Don't make requests.

Edit,, and get rid of all restrictions. maybe add some info about being a Celtics Fan, there's nothing solid in your profile that women could use as a contact point.
 koncrete
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 7
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 9/30/2010 10:37:54 PM
you gotta have a pic with you smiling bro! even if you think you look dumb, thats the key!
 timw03878
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 8
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 10/4/2010 2:56:31 AM
Do you really want the truth?

Trust me, its not you.

Every review I come across for this site on the net says the same thing.

basically "women on pof have unrealistic expectations"

and coming from personal experience.. they most certainly do.

nice, polite, rude, gentle, forward, direct, confident, funny.
It doesn't matter. spice up your profile anyway you want...

If she doesn't think your mr. perfect, you ain't getting a response.


I did a test just to prove my theory, and sent out a few really rude emails...
no harm intended, just a test.

I got responses from the rude ones.
I got zero from the polite, funny, etc, ones.

My advice?
Play the powerball or megabucks. the odds of you winning are higher than getting a reply on POF.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 9
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why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 10/4/2010 6:19:09 AM
Women ^^^^^ on Pof have unrealistic expectations? I guess there aren't 1million guys hitting on only the super hot babes (who are probably often guys actually).

The site works. There's no secret to it. Creating a clear presence through pics and updates helps. People respond to that.
 Chaps2218
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 10
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 10/4/2010 6:42:17 AM
I agree with you that a lot of women have unrealistic expectations on here. But, they slowly come down to earth after they have an awkward date with a good looking guy or get used and thrown out.

I went on a date this weekend with a girl who I wasn't really into at all, I thought I could score a one night stand or something. However, when it came down to it, it was was very awkward and we went our separate ways after 2 drinks. The key is don't date out of your league, it'll never work out, unless you looking to poke and run.
 timw03878
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 11
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 10/6/2010 3:17:50 PM
That's like saying no one has ever won the powerball.

sure people have won...

but here, you have just about as much chance as winning 200 million than getting a girl to respond to an email no matter what you write
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 12
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/1/2011 4:41:42 PM
I always run into the same problem. Many girls look at my profile and don't send a message. even worse, I send them a well thought out message, and they look at my profile and don't reply. I recently changed my "about me" to see if it will bring better results....should I remove a picture? change something I say? Be honest....
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 13
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:00:19 PM
Your about me section says nothing about you. Sometimes that works, depending on how you've done it... but in your case I think not. Sorry.

All you pix look like ones you've taken yourself. If you have some that are outside with good lighting and looking like you're doing something?

ehhh... good luck. I'm not 21, so what do I know about your age group anyway :)
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 14
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why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:19:50 PM
Okay before I review your profile, I'd just like to make sure that you understand something.
POF works very well as a site to meet women to date. I have literally meet dozens and dozens of women off of POF. Of course if you have no idea what you are doing, it would feel like a lottory. I am no Prince Charming, Brad Pitt or a hard body. I do not have money or a fancy car. But my profile is set up to generate interest. Anyone can make this work.

On to your profile. You have obviously changed it since this review. You need better pictures. You simply look like you are trying to be cool in them. You need pictures of you out and about, SMILING and not taken yourself.


Tired of looking at the same profiles over and over again? Let’s start a conversation:
(Pick one)
What are your goals/dreams?
What kind of guy attracts you?
Are you more romantic or casual?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Which is the last book you read?
Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?

Uhhh, no. There are literally thousands of profiles in your area. Why would they want to talk to you? What makes you interesting? It is up to YOU to make them WANT to talk to you. Frankly even the topics that you have chosen are lame and boring. Why would she want to talk about what kind of guy attracts her to a stranger/ She already knows and you give her no reason why she would want to share that with you.


Do you have a great sense of humor? Good head on her shoulders? Mature? In that case I need to have a word with you.....

Yeah, you and every other guy here! But why would a funny, mature woman with a great head on her shoulders want to talk to YOU? You present nothing about yourself other than some pictures that you took of your self. Trust me, it's not a luck of the draw. If you make yourself interesting, people will be interested.


If you want to know anything or if you have anything on your mind, leave a message after the tone, or well....after you're done reading...

No. Never and I mean EVER beg for contact. Do you actually believe that the reader does not know what to do if they are interested? If they want to know anything? Look, your profile is where you are suppossed to be telling them about yourself. Drop this.

First things first you should go and read the profile writing tips at the top of the Profile Reviews thread. They will help you tremendously. After that you want to talk about yourself. Don't try and be romantic, don't try and sell yourself. Just tell us about how you like to spend your time and what you are looking for in a woman. Display some of your personality in your profile. If you believe that you are funny, say something funny, if you enjoy traveling tell us a few places that you have been. You want to be fun, easy to approach and uncomplicated.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 15
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why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:27:49 PM
Oh yeah, and as far as your message goes, it was not 'well thought out', as you called it. It was very poor. It seems formulaic... because it is. It is a basic formula that you use to respond to any message that you are interested in. To write a decent message, first read her profile. Then read it again. You are searching for what I like to call 'hooks'. Basically things that she has in her profile to talk about. A sport that you may have in common, a love of cooking, traveled to the same place. Maybe she loves the Bulls and you love Celtics and you can razz her a bit if the Bulls lost a game last night, maybe she wants to see a play that you want to see. Sometimes it's her profession. Maybe she has 6 kids!! But talking about 'what kind of guys that she likes and that sort of thing is just tacky and shows that you could not be bothered to even try and talk about something that she has already told you that she has an inteerest in or is part of her life. Would you walk up to a woman at a bar and open up with 'Hey, what kind of guys do you like?"
I hope not, 'cause that line is a loser. Same here. You want to say something that she would probably want to respond to. Not just answer a question for you.
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 16
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/3/2011 5:08:02 PM
You are absolutely right, I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I could ask more questions about my profile, but I will read the profile writing tips first...thanks.


But when it comes to emailing women, How do you know when to be aggressive and ask her on a date and give her my number?
 OldSchoolTrueSchool
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 17
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/3/2011 5:56:26 PM
No the above posters are all right. It's not so much that women have unrealistic expectations (well a bit), its just that they have a lot of guys to choose from. For every message you may get the average woman gets about 10 or 15 E-Mails. Some of the better looking women get 25-50/day. They can't read them all, so they answer or at least consider the most attractive. At the end of the day, physical attraction is the primary barometer by which women and men judge each other. No matter how good of a profile is no one will respond messages to someone that looks like the kid from "Mask". Because no one can get a good read on your true personality no matter your profile.

Here is how you can increase your chances. Talk more about your background and yourself, some of your achievements. Things that separate you from the pack. I would honestly change what you are looking to long term, otherwise girls will think you are looking for a NSA type of relationship. Get a full body pic too that shows off your athleticism. Structure your profile using paragraphs and descriptions about yourself
 OldSchoolTrueSchool
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 18
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/3/2011 6:07:00 PM
Don't ask, if a girl likes you she will give you here contact info. Your profile has to project a quiet confidence about yourself.
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 19
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/21/2011 6:53:15 PM
I feel that I still may have a lot to work on. Plus, Im a little insecure because my smile is nowhere as nice as it should be. Remember that I am 21, so women around my age don't really read profiles, they look at pictures, then will send a message or reply. are there any pics that I should keep or delete? Is my "about me" section up to par? Let me know....
 mselissa
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 20
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/22/2011 6:19:13 PM
honestly, women your age wont read the whole profile, but they will look at the main points, and the fact that you dont have a car is probably a deterrent. Also, because you are so young. Many 21 y/o women date older.

Youre attractive so dont worry about your pics. Just be you... it'll be fine
 pinkoleander
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 21
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/22/2011 6:51:48 PM
When you write for the first time instead of a stock message, write something personal based on their profile which shows you've read it. Women get many generic emails a day. I'm not sure what that's about. Do men really want to meet when they send emails to 10 women a day with whom they have absolutely nothing in common?
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 22
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/22/2011 9:18:11 PM
So do you think I shouldn't do online dating at all since I don't have a car?
 Celticsfan89
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 23
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/22/2011 9:22:25 PM
@pinkoleander

these guys do want to meet, but girls get too many messages. I first got into online dating ready to send out detailed messages, but for every ten, I would get one back, so many guys play the numbers game. the girl you talking to may not want to meet you for many reasons (no car, too shy, not looking to meet, etc) so guys send personalized messages after they know the girl is interested...
 mselissa
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 24
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/24/2011 1:18:57 PM
no you should do it, i'm just suggesting that detail as one possible reason youre not getting as many responses as you'd like. the same would hold tru IRL dating too sooo it really doesnt matter. several woman wont care
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 25
why am i not getting responses? be brutally honest i need it
Posted: 6/24/2011 3:57:12 PM
What is S class?
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