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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Over 60 : what is attractive to you?      Home login  
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 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 4
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you? Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Op, it's the same at 60 as it was at 20, we're still seaching for that ultimate companion.....
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 6
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/8/2010 4:50:35 PM
I find extremely attractive upper level intelligence, middle class social values (not so-called "middle-class" income values), a thin body with waist much smaller than the hips, and a warm smile.

I sometimes find it wise to compromise on most anything but obesity, meaning when the waist gets larger than 85% of the hips. That's trouble right from the jump. Social values towards the bowling alley or the polo pony end of things becomes problematic way too soon
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 7
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/8/2010 4:56:01 PM
These are what I look for:

1. Someone with a reasonable body proportions. Not expecting Barbie anymore but BBW is not attractive either. A few extra pounds nor a few wrinkles are a problem anymore. However, 50-100 pounds over normal accepted medical weight is. Proportional physique (with a few minor bulges) is fine.
2. At least she looks attractive "to me".
3. Personality
4. Character
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 8
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:51:07 PM
I actually can't predict much about the body of who is going to be attractive to me, lol! But I'm very aware that I'm an outlier, and always have been. My movie star crush in my teens was Victor Jory. In my thirties, Abe Vigoda. . . . You'll catch my drift, lol!

*Nothing* about my exes, physically, is similar: they've been as much as 14 years older and 16 years younger than me. From 6'9" to 5'4". Male pattern bald to hair to the waist. Bearded, mustached, goateed and clean shaven. Skinny to hefty. 6th grade drop out through Ph.D. What *has* been consistent is they've all been bright as a new penny, and since the end of my first marriage, have all had some kind of spiritual path. The more important that path to them, they better we've done. Some I left, some left me, a couple cheated, one died on me. Love 'em all. Every last one.

I've been lucky in this life, I haven't been distracted by too many shiny things. . . .

 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 9
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/8/2010 11:30:00 PM
looks like Woobytoodsday said it all for me ... my past loves have been varied ... in fact, we may have dated a few of the same men!!!

the only consistencies in men I've been attracted to ... probably includes a relatively high level of intelligence ... usually plenty of creativity ... an ability to see life positively ... tolerance ... acceptance of others ... or not! (laffing!) ... and a reasonable solid grounding ... well, sometimes! (blush) ... I've been enthralled with some men who really weren't all that comfortable living in Reality! one of them was really an out there nut case! but he was also really fun ...

if a man's mind is interesting enough ... I really don't care what shape his body is in! other than I'd want him to make every effort to be as healthy as possible so our time together could last as long as possible ...

talking with a highly intelligent but not conceited man ... with a good self-image ... it's difficult to put into words ... the positive self-image without conceit is key ... and the intellectual abilities to pull it off! ... that's really exciting!

but illnesses hit without discrimination ... you could be walking along, taking care of your body and mind and be hit by some random medical issue ... or be born with a congenital issue that you've had to live with ... it happens ...

I'd love to find someone right now to spend quality time with ... I'm old ... but I'm not dead yet!
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 11
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 4:17:23 AM
^much the same i'm afraid...

i've dated some wonderful men who are bright, attractive, fun, intelligent, easy-going, adventurous...where the sex has been less than sizzle. in other words, "real duds" in the bedroom!
there is one gorgeous guy i've known for years who is an accomplished lover, but that's about all we have in common. (great guy, but)...

as for weight and looks?
being more than a few pounds overweight i equate to ill health, if not now then for sure in the future.
good looks are subjective, what is good looking to one may be a total turn off to another. i've been attractive to many looks, fair, dark, short, tall. most of all i'm a sucker for great eyes. if you've got those we don't need to talk...

will i ever meet a man who for me will be the entire package?
maybe not,
but i'll keep looking...
hello, hello...where are you?...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 5:25:45 AM
^^^^^Ladies, ladies....I am right here and waiting.....

Of course, it takes more effort to get an old car started than it does a new one, however, that is part of the pleasure of riding in a classic car.........
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 17
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 8:31:11 AM

I'd like to find someone where there was great sex AND great easy-going companionship. I've never had both with one man. I wonder if it's possible.



...Nope...I think he died.


Of course, it takes more effort to get an old car started than it does a new one, however, that is part of the pleasure of riding in a classic car.........



....Can I take it for a test drive...what comes with it?

...mae
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 18
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 8:37:24 AM

what comes with it?


Vinyl and polyester.....Easy cleaning and wash an wear. No ironing.....:)
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 19
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 8:44:42 AM

Vinyl and polyester.....Easy cleaning and wash an wear. No ironing.....:)


...Now that's attractive


The same things I found appealing 20 years ago still stands, but now what attracts me even more comes from the inside.


...mae
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 20
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:24:18 AM
@ tinselribbonwind
I'm starting to understand what you're talking about, attraction beyond looks.
Physical beauty is superficial and fleeting at our age, that make sense.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 21
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 10:56:28 AM
More mature people realize that the people in their dating pool aren't going to be perfect specimens but they also may have discovered that beauty is only skin deep. (Except the men who are 50-60 and are seeking women between 20-40.....don't know what the h*ll they are thinking.) I hate men's profiles that say they are "looking for a good woman" but then go on to specify that she must be young and thin and gorgeous and love sports and have a great job and want sex 24/7.....and be their trophy wife. Yes, everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes and physical attraction is important. There just may be someone out there who you've overlooked because you aren't taking the time to see what's "inside" the person.

I am most attracted to a great smile, which indicates happiness and humor. Kindness, courtesy, morals and responsibility are also key. Physical appearance, beyond cleanliness, is way on down the list. I have a friend who is married to a man who might be considered ugly (by most standards) but he is the sweetest, funniest and most devoted husband I can think of.....his personality makes him one of the most attractive men I've ever met. (Don't worry, I'm not after him.) I'm just saying that there are plenty of fish.....er, people.... who might not catch your eye initially but once you get to know them, you realize you have found a diamond....in the rough, perhaps but still a diamond!
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 23
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 11:18:11 AM
^^^^passionate people are passionate about everything, not just sex. Testosterone levels may someday drop, but the fundamentals of their personality won't. Great gas mileage from a race car just isn't a logical expectation.....even if the race car has a lot of wear and tear.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 24
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 12:26:30 PM
Its easy to say physical attraction is not an important attribute, and maybe for you it is not. But don't kid yourself that it is not very important to a great number of older people. I'm 55 and if I were in the market, physical attraction would be right up there with decency and kindness, etc. It is deplorable how many people let themselves physically go in their fifties and it doesn't have to be that way and I would not settle for that just because a person has a good personality. I NEED to be attracted to my partner so that I can be romantic towards her. I would never have it any other way. Are there women my age who I find physically attractive? Yes. . absolutely. Thank god.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 26
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 2:49:02 PM
this is a great thread ... we should start more with "Over 60: ... "

I've long thought there should be an additional forum category for those over 60 ... I have so little in common with 40 year olds ... other than I've mothered a couple!
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 28
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 3:55:32 PM
The same things are still attractive to me now as then, just a lot harder to find.
I must tell you all that I had GREAT success finding someone on a seniors dating site. She's 55 and just gorgeous! We're both of a kind in terms of what we were looking for.
I am blessed with the best of genetics and have been able to keep my youthful physique and "drives".
"I may not be the man I used to be, but I'm just as good ONCE as ANY man can be!!"
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 29
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 8:56:24 PM

What I have experienced is that many people in our age bracket really have no intention of dating anyone. They come onto the forums for entertainment only (a sort of cyber sexual experience??) and never had any intention of dating anyone. I have a lot of mixed feelings about that. The only reason, (and I mean this) I post on a SINGLES forum is in hopes that some sweet lady may notice me and possibly want to start a conversation. When I find her, or get exhausted with the process, I will be GONE!


I hear 'ya re: "no intention", etc. or at best many just seem to be looking for someone who'll fit in with "their" life, schedule, grandkids, pets, ex-es, whatever.... while having little curiosity or interest in fitting into anyone else's. So these days I've really come to appreciate encountering a certain quality of "being game", where folks still have a lot of the openness, curiosity and availability to new experience they might have once had in their youth (or that maybe some never had). And the opposite of that is being very "fixed" and "set in their ways", usually associated with aging, which I think also explains some of the added attraction to "younger" people (aside from the physical part).

BTW, regardless of age, it seems to me the "no serious intention" crowd just naturally "comes with the territory" of freebie sites like this one, where folks have nothing invested to begin with. That and the fact it's basically impersonal, with no accountability (unlike the messiness of "real life"). Although it's not boring either.... Cheers!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 30
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 11:41:39 PM
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?

There is really no attraction on people over 60 physically and mentally. It is what they are and what they got,--------
Money! Money! Money! And properties.

I am not yet over 60, but I attracted dudes, Tigers, Bumsy and DOM ....

I really don't gauge people on their age, I have no problem with that as long as they are" alive and kicking".........
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 31
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 12:10:42 AM
Tinsel ... you may be right about many people in our age bracket having no intention of actually DATING anyone ...

I've actually experienced men who e-mail me and appear to have no intention of doing anything BEYOND e-mails ... sometimes they seem to have infinite patience in sending more and more e-mails ... they tell me about caring for their elderly parents ... how bad the economy is ... their aches and pains ... their pets ... caring for their homes ...

yeah ... well ... where's the action?!

I'm NOT one of those people who just want to e-mail forever ... in fact ... doors in my life have been closing and closing lately and, quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it! I'm also tired of waiting for God to open a better door or whatever quaint wisdom dictates that He does after many, many doors have closed ...

scream ... ok ... I'm all better now ... sigh ...

I certainly never expected to be single this long ... I'm not a beauty ... I'm not skinny ... I'm not young ... but ... parts of me are still quite excellent and work very well ...

I think if you've been patiently waiting to meet someone for x # of days, weeks, months or years ... I think your disappointment increases, your expectations are diminished and you lose the credibility you once gave the system ... and you decide ... "hey! I'll just e-mail this nice lady forever and ever ... it's better than actually leaving the house!"

and, honestly ... I've had far more luck in MEETING people on this free website than I did on either match.com OR e-harmony ... both of which pocketed many of my dollars without living up to their press ...

... hmmmm ... did I actually have a point when I started this blithering mess? well, it IS after midnight and I'm watching David Letterman and Dinsel Washington!!

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 33
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 6:58:29 AM

What is attractive to me is 'willingness to help others and a positive attitude'.


Right , it is really nothing to do with the number of years that you live in this Earth. It is your outlook in life and to make the best of what you do to yourself and to others ,and to make this world a better place for the inhabitants and future generations. And that makes YOU attractive and not your AGE.. just my 2 cents.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 34
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 11:31:54 AM
at first, I thought posting in the California Forum would give me a clue as to the men in my area ... which is ALSO small town and rural ... I thought some nice local rural man would see my witty comments and say to himself, "now THERE's a woman for ME!" he'd contact me and we'd live forever after happily ...

sadly, it appears that men in this small town rural area are not all that computer literate and probably got someone to help them set up their profile ... and they don't post in the California Forum ... or, more likely, the political right in California have driven them out of the California forum ...

the postings in the California Forum are primarily political in nature and heavily dominated by the men in the urban centers of California ...

there is no thread started that is SO ROMANTIC ... SO FRIVILOUS ... or SO BENIGN that the California urban male posters cannot somehow corrupt it into yet another (boring) political debate ...

I could start a post about California lipstick colours and the urban male California right posters would corrupt it into comments about how "Obamanation" and the "libtards" are ruining lipstick for us all ... sigh.

so ... searching for a live rural male in the California forums is a waste of time ... do YOUR states have active, useful forums?
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 35
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 11:56:58 AM
Actually looks is probably close to the last ingredient in the equation for me; and certainly wrinkles aren't an issue on a man, for me at all; they add character.

1)Physical health is a big one; I have aging parents, so I want a partner who is able to physically enjoy life with me, not one I have to nurse. If a man is obese, a heavy smoker, or drinker, he'll most likely have multiple health issues with joints, blood pressure, prostrate, heart, lungs, and possibly diabetes. He won't be able to enjoy the things I like to do. If I have to continue enjoying those activities with friends and leave him behind all the time, that won't work for either of us. I'd have to curtail my activities to slow down to his level, and frankly I don't want to do that; maybe 15-20 years from now!
2) How he treats, cares and loves me; I'm very loving and caring with the ones closest to me and I want the same in return.
3) A sense of humour, positive attitude and the ability to laugh off the small stupid issues in life and concentrate on the important ones.
4) A sense of responsibility and balance for the things that can affect the quality and standard of our life. I want an actual 'man', not an overgrown 'boy'; nothing remotely attractive in that.

So you can see that if all these characteristics are present, actual 'looks' are at the bottom of the totem pole.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 37
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 2:56:30 PM

wonder what happens to those who place limits such as health, weight, beauty, money, cars, etc, when they get hit by one of fate's funny little tricks. Do they drop off the planet because they must now live in the limbo of 'the imperfect self righteous without partners'?


OP many who complain about other's desires for certain characteristics that don't match up to their own are guilty of creating their own limbo. I have a friend who is a decent, looking guy and while we were talking, he was complaining that he has been rejected by so many women, he's becoming depressed. When I asked him what he thought the problem was, he said that it was his weight.( He's 5'10" and probably about 280-290 lbs) I looked him in the eyes and asked him point blank," Are the women you're attracted to and contacting over weight and in the same shape as you?"

Well you all know the answer to that! He wants them slim, good looking, well employed and well endowed! In other words he's 53, over weight, with various issues and wants the proverbial "Barbie" with a purse! Now tell me what do you say to a guy like this!
I asked him why he complains and judges other women for looking for the exact same thing he's looking for? He creates his own loneliness by eliminating any women that match his characteristics.

If I had issues that curtailed my activities or made certain interests impossible, I'd look for someone with the similar limitations. I wouldn't set my sights on the person I don't have things in common with simply because of their looks and then berate them for not being attracted to me. That's the epitamy of being superficial. There are far more 'imperfects' in life than 'perfects'.
 will1949
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 39
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Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 5:13:22 PM
It is my opinion that one should not try to form strong opinions or requirements about what is attractive to them. It is my opinion that one should rely on nature to tell them when they have an encounter with another person that they are attracted to. Who really knows who they will be attracted to. I think the physical looks attraction is the beginning that moves people closer togeather to see if there is any basis to a relationship; but beyond that I don't think one should out guess mother nature.
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 41
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/10/2010 7:46:46 PM
Ya’ know … it’d be nice if everyone we are attracted to and are attracted to us would be the “stuff” of a long term relationship … but life doesn’t quite work that way especially as one gets older.

Because I haven’t had one relationship that has lasted my adult life, I’ve put together a satisfying life as a single woman. That life reflects my own needs as an individual. I “do” life so that it’s as full of love and happiness as I can make it. Part of how I do that is to keep doors open to others … even those who might not be “attractive” to me in a romantic sense. I’ve found that when my life is full of physical outdoor activities, of conversation/discussion with those who are critical thinkers, of shared love and caring for others, of meeting needs and having mine met … that life is indeed full.
What follows from putting together such a life is that finding that one “significant other” means that “other” will be meeting some sort of criteria. If not, then I’ll be getting many of my needs met outside that relationship and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that in my mind. But if that’s so, it also means my time will be somewhat limited with that SO.

So concretely it goes something like this …. My life is full of physical activity so if he has health issues and is not capable of being involved then I’ll be doing those things several times a week without him. If he doesn’t enjoy discussion involving critical thinking then I’ll be doing those things with others. If his definition of shared love and caring is only within his family and his SO then, once again, I’ll be spending time with those in my life I love and care about who are not my family or my SO.

It’s my assumption that others have a life too. It might include community service as a priority, or a renovation project, or any number of things. If I am not capable or interested in those things then I assume he’s going to be involved in those without me.

It’s my belief that this is how we get to “criteria” … even at our so-called advanced age. Most of us have put some sort of life together to “feed” ourselves and most of us will look for someone who can share that life in some form or fashion just so there’s time to even work on having a relationship. The closer the match between my life and someone else’s the greater chance we have of making it work … and having the time to build it, keep it, nurture it … and make it grow.

In a nutshell … what’s attractive to me is a shared way of life and living with a side of humor, integrity, optimism, and joy.
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