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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What did I do wrong this time?      Home login  
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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
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What did I do wrong this time?Page 1 of 1    
Was this all in the first conversation? Maybe you are coming across as desperate, hard to tell from just the text, but the answer is, of course, she wasn't interested in meeting you at that point. If this always happens, then re-think your strategy, or re-think who you are attracted to and why they don't find you attractive. But really all you can do is be yourself and at some point you will find someone who is interested in you. I would hardly ever want to meet someone I just started communicating with, mostly it comes across as ~ hey, I got one on the hook, let's meet up and see if she puts out that quickly too. That probably isn't your meaning but many people who want to meet right after the first contact are looking for sex. An assumption sure but if one is looking to get to know you, they may find this instant meeting stuff to be a turn off. Others' opinions will vary.
 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 10
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What did I do wrong this time?
Posted: 11/16/2010 2:11:19 PM
"Me: It's cool, anytime you feel it's ok, and even if you don't want to at all it's fine too."

Hmmmm. I took that sentence as him realizing from her response that she more than likely wasn't interested. People sometimes speak in this way to deflect the blow of a response that wasn't as favorable as they had hoped.

To be honest, her response just didn't sound all together, and I sense that the OP felt that when he read it, hence his reply to it.

I think the message the OP put out was clear enough... wordy and perhaps not as directly assertive as it could've been, but it was clear enough, and if someone likes you and wants to see you that would never be a big deal anyway. She just didn't want to meet for whatever reason, but I wouldn't blame myself here.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 11
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What did I do wrong this time?
Posted: 11/16/2010 2:40:18 PM
I do not feel you did anything overtly wrong. 2 weeks of messaging is not abnormal. However, like has already been pointed out you were a bit wishy washy on broaching the subject of meeting which is normal but "It's cool, anytime you feel it's ok, and even if you don't want to at all it's fine too" was too uncommitted. Yes, you gave her a safe out and that is admirable. But I probably would have handled it different, like this -"We've been chatting with each other for 2 weeks, you're an interesting person and I was wondering what you think about maybe meeting up to sit down and talk in person." I'd have not specified any activity or rambled on about location until I saw her response. If she responded positively I'd ask her what she likes to do in Nelsonville (I assume that is a neutral location). You are then giving her the ball and it gives you a chance to learn of an interest or two before a specific place or activity is discussed. It shows consideration, interest and intent. It also gives you a chance to gauge her reaction. Also, I'd probably not mention stuff like not knowing the area too well until a followup converstation. You threw too much information on her at once.
One more thing, she may have freaked out because she is already seeing someone, or like others suggested, she was a flake or felt only comfortable with chat buddies. There are men and women out there who will tell of their darkest fantasies and secrets and be very passionate with you by proxy. Maybe it is something they feel they are lacking in their life but are uncomfortable to act on or be around, or maybe it's lacking in their current relationship lol! Better luck next time OP!
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 14
What did I do wrong this time?
Posted: 11/16/2010 3:47:07 PM
OP- women tend to respond to men. They don't really realize it consciously as much I don't think....

however- women take their lead from men.

If you are straight with her and ask her directly to have plans with you. if she's interested she'll say yes.

if you are wishy washy with you, because you're trying to get a feel for her- she'll be wishy washy with you and not that interested most of the time.


be direct and straight.

if she says "yes" (without any fumbling) or makes alternative plans...she's interested
if she fumbles and says yes, or says anything other than an affirmative "YES" then she's not interested.

Step up to the plate.

Luck favors the bold.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16
What did I do wrong this time?
Posted: 11/16/2010 4:26:08 PM

anytime you feel it's ok, and even if you don't want to at all it's fine too.

This is wishy washy, and might have caused me to stop writing too. Especially since you didn't mean it. Nothing ever happened, but in the above quote you said that was fine. What's the question again?
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