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 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 1
Location a major factor?Page 1 of 1    
I wonder if people that live closer to large metropolitan cities like New York find more success on dating sites such as this one. Logically it makes sense. More people registered in your immediate vicinity should yield more matches. However, I recently read in a book that stated people in larger venues still complain about not having enough suitable matches on the sites, and that the problem was not location specific. The author went on to talk about "shopping mentality" and how these sites tend to encourage discriminating selection.

I live in a small city and the potential matches seem to be few for me. Therefore I haven't had much luck yet. I was just wondering what other peoples' experiences were (whether from a small area as well, or a large city).
 Crabby_McCrabberson
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 2
Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/16/2010 1:35:08 PM
I'd vote for a large part of it being the shopping mentality. It is a sickness.

Being afraid to settle for the wonderful person in front of you, in case a More Wonderful person comes along later and here you are, already committed to the less wonderful one. Or looking for chances to trade up after you committed, if you think you can get a better deal.

It cracks me up to read almost daily, people in towns of all sizes all over this planet, saying there is nobody in their area to date.

If they made a POF reality show where people trade towns for dating purposes -- I wouldn't watch it.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 3
Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/16/2010 1:47:14 PM
It certainly makes it easier if there are more people in the area.
If you are in a remote spot where there are only ten neighbors within five miles and you know everyone already, that doesn't help much, even if you are a person willing to settle for Mr/Ms Wonderfull instead of holding off for Mr/MsWonderfuller...

If there is none around, you have to expand your search, and then the distance becomes one more impediment. Not everyone is willing to relocate, and very few "Will Drive for Love" .

It's tough...


 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 4
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Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/16/2010 3:50:08 PM
I was on a few other dating sites and had my preferences listed the man should live within 50 miles from my location. I live in a small town so this limited my choices but I didn't think I wanted a long distance relationship. I also didn't really expect to find some one online. The first guy I went out with from a dating site was about 30 miles away but it didn't work out, he wasn't over his divorce. However, men were still able to message me from further away and I met my SO who lives 2 hours from me. He is in a small town also. He considers the distance to be a medium distance and doesn't mind the traveling to see me. Since he travels for work a lot he is able to take flights from the small local airport and sometimes get paid to drive here.lol

Coincidentally, his sister is married to a man from the same town as me.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 5
Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/17/2010 7:39:02 AM
i went from a major metro area to podunk, indiana. i've noticed the difference and there is no escaping the impact of sheer numbers, but on the other hand -- quantity is not the same as quality. right now, i have to set my filters to "australia and new zealand" to find anybody interesting. the only problem is getting there for a date. lol.
 Crabby_McCrabberson
Joined: 8/11/2010
Msg: 6
Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/18/2010 11:43:32 AM
I keep on telling you. Hard-headed woman. Post those special photos from Mardi Gras to your profile. Dudes will trek through every ostrich pasture for miles around to bang on your door. Even if they don't, I wanna see em.

p.s. yeah. what is it about the Aussie men? they're cute. And wasn't there a thread about this too--- how's come's out-of-town people have better-looking thumb nails?

p.p.s. to the topic: I don't disagree that location is a major factor. Attitude and expectations are major too though.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 7
Location a major factor?
Posted: 11/18/2010 12:36:21 PM

I'd vote for a large part of it being the shopping mentality. It is a sickness.

I agree and I'm guilty of doing that as well. The book I read was called "Unhooked Generation". The author wrote about her experiences on various dating sites such as Jdate,etc. She had some funny stories, anecdotes, as well as interviews with other male and female internet daters (some successfully found love and married). One funny story: the author had been corresponding with a guy but never met in person. After agreeing to meet, he pushed for her to agree to just meet on a local street corner. His reasoning was that they could immediately go their seperate ways if they did not find each other mutually attractive right away(he was afraid her pic wasn't accurate) . She didn't want to agree, but the location was on the way to seeing her friend across town. Her friend told her she could meet with him briefly and have a drink, then leave to see her. Basically use the experience as material to write in the book. She went to meet and have a drink with him. He was attracted so he tried to talk her into extending the date. She had already felt like it was a sourful experience though so she declined and went on to see her friend. Apparently he tried to contact her a couple more times through the site but she never communicated with him again. I don't blame her in this situation. That's pretty lame that he was afraid to even commit to a coffee date lol.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 8
Location a major factor?
Posted: 12/1/2010 8:34:17 AM
I see a lot of attractive women in my town at places like grocery stores,etc., but that seems to be such a tough place to try to meet someone. You cross paths in such a flash and then never see them again. I once had a crush on a girl who worked at my local walmart. I used to try to get in her checkout line and would try to make small talk. I never got the courage to ask her out though and now she doesn't work there anymore so I rarely see her. I guess I need to take more risks in a more efficient manner.
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