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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Dumped him but still miss him ..      Home login  
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 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 5
Dumped him but still miss him ..Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've found that the easiest way to get over a guy is to get under another. I do hope you've gotten back out in the dating arena again---rather than moping around and pining away for him.

Don't second-guess yourself in your decision to dump him, and don't contact him again. Relationships end for a reason---which usually turns out to be in our own best interests. Try to keep that thought foremost in your mind.
 Cool_November
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 7
Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/3/2010 12:25:39 PM
well,maybe you need to find out why he has such a short fuse,the reasons behind it.Then maybe you might be able to move on once you know.
Kinda like once you know its some thing that can or cant be fixed,then you'd have an answer.
hey,you never know.If you find out why he has a sort fuse and if it can be fixed or brought to his attention so he doesnt do it anymore yous two might be able to work some thing out and be happy together.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/3/2010 2:36:23 PM

It only seemed to get worse near the end (short-fused, irritable, crabby)

it sounds like he was sick of you.

you want to go back and beat your head against that?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:09:27 AM
Cool November asked the right question. My only query after reading the initial post, was whether the guy was just tense and quick tempered around YOU, or was so in general. That would be the ONLY reason to think at all about going back, since YOUR way of dealing with him would be in YOUR control. Since your answer was that he is that way all the time, then moving on is your best choice.
As to HOW to move on, that's a matter of figuring out what's in your head BEHIND the lusty or emotional fantasy memories of the good parts of the relationship. The most common things driving such fantasies, are the old "what if we belong together" fantasies, and the pleasant, moment to moment comfort of habits. Having SOMEONE to come home to, even if they are tricky to deal with, can be very alluring, when you aren't directly experiencing the PAINFUL aspects that were a part of it.
When you clearly identify and can verbalize why you want to get back with him, you will very likely find that you KNOW that you really don't want to.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 21
Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:55:01 AM
OP- you dumped a guy.

leave him alone.

just because you are feeling like you now cannot find anything better and you feel as though you are a loser, that's ok.

its for you to deal with, not him.

I'm totally sure he's already moved on and has probably screwed 10-15 women since.

let him be.

go feel sorry for yourself and find another handy man.
 MsMJM
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 24
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/7/2010 9:14:18 AM
Had a guy like this. Was on egg shells and he actually suggested professional help so we could stay together! Guess what! He was manic-depressive or bipolar! I thought if I waited it out (6 months or so) maybe things would change.

The professional advice I got was "people don't change" and why would you wait around to find out!

You need to get past this! Two years is too long to waste already. Look forward and don't look back!
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 31
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/11/2010 6:24:53 PM
walking on eggshells, dr. jekyl, mr. hyde, I hate to be a broken record in the forums, but from what I just experienced with my eight-month courtship that ended out of nowhere and he became the meanest, angriest person ever does make me wantto share this with you. Look up bipolar, read about it, go to the support forums, realize some peple have signed up for a lifetime of this. You are nos spared that particular kind of hell. I am friends with someone who is married to someone for 15 years now who has it and it's a tough ride, and can be ok if they take their meds, but if not, watch out. Mine had road rage, apparently when drinking, could hit walls, all kinds of stuff I found out later. Since I was in an LDR with the person, I didn't know any of this, but they will give you the hints, you just have to be paying attention. I am not saying you can't be with these peopel, I loved mine to bits, but you will always bein this position of not knowing how to expect and what mood they will be in. If you really miss this person in particular, who they were to you and love them, get them help and be there for them as a friend first, but if you just miss how handy they were to have around, go for someone else. And it's never easy, two months later, no contact and I was dumped and I still feel sad especialy with the holidays. So, I hear you. Big hugs!

M
 AlphonseO
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 39
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 12/15/2010 11:04:13 AM
Dear Minnow and Energetic,
I too know the feeling, I ended the relasionship with a woman just two weeks ago, for the second time with her. She has issues, ruined her own Thanksgiving by starting Drama with her grown children, they left her with her turkey dinner by her self, and 2 bottles of wine. Some how it was all my fault she ruined her hoiliday, I wasn't even there. Nasty texts and emails for two days. Told her I'm done. 95% of the time we were great together true love, talked of marrige. But that mean vulgar, and nasty 5% not going to settle for. She projects all her problem onto the ones close to her, always someone elses fault. It's been a very difficult two weeks especialy with the holidays. Feeling very lonely, even with friend, hard to stay focused on things right now, But I know I did the right thing. Need to lead with the brain not the heart at this time. I also let myself think that I will never find another, but hell I found her, there has to be something better. We will feel better, just need time. Can't wait until the holidays are over, I know that will help.

Best of luck.
Have a Merry Christmas All.
 AlphonseO
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 43
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Dumped him but still miss him ..
Posted: 1/4/2011 8:56:07 AM

Good for you minnow! We can do this. Each day gets better, I stay focused on what she did and said to me and for the time being block out the good and the "what could have beens". We must be true to our self! I know she will always hold a special place in my heart, but not right now. New year new me. No Looking Back. Not going to accept being treated poorly by anyone, much less someone that claims to love you!!
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 51
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Dumped-- I dont miss him
Posted: 12/24/2013 5:18:11 AM
I had to respond to your post.

Similar situation ---perfect man in so many ways, but chaotic, demanding, mean and nasty at times. belittling.

I thought waiting it out would help as he had been married to a mentally ill (clinically documented due to her condition, in jail frequently) woman for 38 yrs and he worked things out with her--> so I was sure, a healthy, active woman as my self would certainly be to his liking.

However, out of no where he said I wasn't what he was looking for. He listed my "inconsiderate nature" which is the opposite of true. He was in the hospital 3 times during our 18 month relationship and I was happy to take of him ( I'm a nurse).

I'm lucky because as soon as he said those words ..."I'm leaving" something inside sprung up and said "Move ON--life is too short". And immediately, I was off and running.

Do I hurt? Of course, but the off and running has been a G_d send.

(And these post are so helpful--saves from paying a therapist to hear me out:)
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