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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?      Home login  
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 mikejustmike
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 1
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Ever wonder why sometimes women will flirt with you, and then all of a sudden become cold, or weird around you?
Is it because they wanted the man to ask them out (or make a move) and he didn’t, so they’re acting cold around him to compensate for the perceived rejection ? Do women actually FEEL rejected when man don’t ask them out or “make the move” ?????
……and do they realize how "destroyed" a man may feel when rejected for his effort (when he was so sure that she wanted to see him again)
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 3:34:33 PM

then all of a sudden become cold, or weird around you?

when a woman starts acting cold and weird, i'll lend her my coat and offer to buy her a cup of hot tea. i'll call 911 when necessary. hypothermia sucks.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 3
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 3:51:30 PM
OP- women get played enough as it is.....if you knew how that worked, then you'd understand why women don't ask men out....
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 4
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:07:00 PM
Why Don't Women Ask Men Out? - Sometimes they do, but generally they don't have to. Despite our changing times it is still the guy reading the signals or going out on a limb and making the first move in many cases.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:18:01 PM
I will ask a guy out that shows interest, because that's the next move. If I approach and show interest, the ball's in his court. Asking a guy out you just approached and show interest to gives you little to no room to weed out men who'll date you because you asked/they were bored/it's a slow week/they're being polite. I like a guy who participates.
 Natural-J
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 6
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:22:18 PM
They kind of do ask guys out...in their own way. If you can't pick up the signals and then be a man of action, you'll be left on the sidelines. Women own the poonanny, and guys must pursue, always been this way, always will.

Personally, if a woman asks me out, I will never go out with them, but I'm kinda Alpha male in that way.
 mikejustmike
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 7
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:25:48 PM
Personally I feel like a condemned man before a trail when asking a strange woman out, I just know that the first thing that she will say...will be, why are you talking to me you @#%$@*&% !!!???
I think if women only "womanuped" and asked a man out instead of waiting for him to do it....the whole damn dating thing would be much easier on man's ego.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:32:37 PM
^^^Don't ask women out you don't know. Instead, learn about them. Make conversation. Read body language and learn whether or not she's interested. Women don't like being asked out cold by a stranger either.

I may exchange contact information to talk to a guy a while if I have attraction to him, but honestly I can't honestly tell a guy I just met whether or not I WANT to go out with him, as I have nothing to base it on. A guy who asks me out cold without any type of interaction will get a no by default.
 frienddougie
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 9
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:49:47 PM
If a woman asked me out (on a date) I'd be surprised, then suspicious. I may even ask, "Why?"


……and do they realize how "destroyed" a man may feel when rejected for his effort (when he was so sure that she wanted to see him again)


I wouldn't give a rats-ass and neither should you.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 4:50:29 PM
Mike says:


Why don’t Women ask men out?

Personally I feel like a condemned man before a trail when asking a strange woman out, I just know that the first thing that she will say...will be, why are you talking to me you @#%$@*&% !!!???
I think if women only "womanuped" and asked a man out instead of waiting for him to do it....



But, then in his other thread that he just started he says:


Would YOU date a good, handsome man with chronically bad body odor, bad breath or chronic gas ?
Would You ....
Or not.....



Think about it, Mikey. We don’t know you well enough to judge you , so judge yourself. And if the shoe fits, wear it!
haha! just kidding..
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 11
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 5:09:25 PM

Asking a guy out you just approached and show interest to gives you little to no room to weed out men who'll date you because you asked/they were bored/it's a slow week/they're being polite. I like a guy who participates.


how ironic.
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 12
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 5:09:54 PM
I'm pretty sure they all tried to ask me out at the same time and the computer overload just couldn't handle it all. The inbox messages malfunctioned so I don't even know which ones I'm supposed to be answering to. They"re probably all mad now because I didn't answer their dying efforts and they just got on the unread delete wagon when I try to apologize.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 13
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 5:40:33 PM
I can't ask men out. I'm too old fashioned!"
 Seeking_an_equal
Joined: 11/11/2010
Msg: 14
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 5:55:56 PM
I think it depends on the place and culture. I grew up in the Maritimes and women will ask men ot there. I also lived in Ontario and women have asked me out there as well. I now live in BC and it is rare here, though it occasionally happens.
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 15
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 6:13:55 PM
Because if they ask they have to pay for the date. It's not the money. It's just that hell hasn't frozen over yet.

I don't think women want men. They might want to be wanted by men. It's a different thing. If women wanted men they could have them easily enough. Instead, their problem is to manage the men who want them. Now would be a good time to mention apples and oranges. I stopped wanting women the minute I realized it was entirely one sided. It turns out that if you hold out for being wanted by one as much as you want her, your watch gets reset to count down to the day hell freezes over. It can be a digital watch or analog. Now I admire them from afar. Afar is the distance that results from only one person reaching out, when they stop reaching.
 ALMOSTABLONDE
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 16
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 6:31:39 PM
why don't women stand to pee????
look men are men, they are the hunters, women are the huntees
guys grow a set & start asking women out- you may actually get laid
 Abby156
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 6:36:14 PM
If I express an interest in a man and he does not express the same interest, I move on pretty quickly.
 Munchausen
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 18
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 7:04:41 PM

Ever wonder why sometimes women will flirt with you, and then all of a sudden become cold, or weird around you?

IME it's because:
1. She wasn't really flirting, she was trying to be nice, realizes you are taking niceness as flirting, so has to stop so she doesn't lead you on.
2. It was flirtatious at first, but a "line" was crossed:
A. she immediately realizes you want something different than she does.
a. you remind her of all her exes.
b. you remind her of all the creepy guys she met online.
c. she realizes she can do better.
d. her husband/wife are coming back.
e. realizes you don't work for the store so can't help her with her questions.
f. realizes you are pretty on the outside but the more your gums flap the less attractive on the inside you look
B. a joke or innuendo went too far or got too personal.
C. realizes you want something from her.


Is it because they wanted the man to ask them out (or make a move) and he didn’t, so they’re acting cold around him to compensate for the perceived rejection ?

IMO no.
IMO if they "really" wanted the guy to ask them out, then they would be nice and flirty with them until the bitter end in the hopes of getting asked out.
Unless the woman is retarded or a complete bytch.
Because what guy would ask out a woman that turns into Sybil within a 10 minute conversation, flirty to cold personality changes. And what guy wants to ask out someone that's cold and/or weird around them.

Unless you are talking about someone at like work, where you flirt and laugh over a few weeks, and it gets to a head where nothing happens, then all tension is released and they go back to normal and professional, and you only think they are being cold because it is a change from flirty and joking but really it's just a decision to be as professional as possible (especially around holiday bonus time).



Do women actually FEEL rejected when man don’t ask them out or “make the move” ?

I'm sure some do, for about 5 minutes until it's rationalized away as the guy's gay or something.


do they realize how "destroyed" a man may feel when rejected for his effort (when he was so sure that she wanted to see him again)

Yes. If they think about it. Rejecting someone makes people suffer a negative emotional rejection.
Why do you think online dating is so popular? Why do you think there are so many threads about break up texts, emails, voicemails, disappearing. etc.
You get to avoid that personal rejection and having to take responsibility for your "no."

Oh yeah, so

Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?

Because they don't really need to since it's still part of general socialized training that it's the mans "job" to do it.
There is a lack of incentive for them to ask someone out, because they don't "need" to in order to date, generally.
Of course some women do, if they actually want to find someone they want rather than just wait for the luck of the draw to approach them.
Of course some women just like how it feels to be asked, to be desired and pursued.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 19
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 7:30:23 PM
Ever wonder why sometimes you're just having a friendly conversation with a guy, being polite, and then all of a sudden he becomes overly creepy and weird around you?

Is it because he wanted to ask you out and doesnt realize your friendliness didnt mean anything more or is it because he thinks he is god's gift to women and wants to ask every woman out. And then he gets all bent out of shape when you decline his come on.

Don't they realize how awkward it is for women when we are just trying to be on his level and have a decent converstation....why does every guy think just cause a woman talks to him they think they should be going on a date??
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 20
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 7:40:28 PM
because they don't have to.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 21
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 7:53:54 PM

Don't ask women out you don't know. Instead, learn about them. Make conversation. Read body language and learn whether or not she's interested. Women don't like being asked out cold by a stranger either.

Best advice.

because they don't have to.

Or that most don't want to. Either way, it's just another thing to make note of when interacting with women.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 22
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/14/2010 9:06:28 PM
I'm still baffled by the title.... I initially was going to say that women tend not to ACTUALLY ask men out, rather hint that they're interested. That isn't true either, sure they'll do that too, but they will come straight out and ask you out if they really want to... My current GF flat out asked me to join her for Starbucks the next day. Up until then, she never really gave me any signs she was interested in anything beyond friendship up 'til then. My last relationship...last few actually started the same way...
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 23
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/15/2010 1:52:45 AM

why don't women stand to pee????
look men are men, they are the hunters, women are the huntees
guys grow a set & start asking women out- you may actually get laid



I always laugh at women who throw around tripe BS like this.


"man up" - "grow a set" etc etc









In the meantime, I think I'd actually faint if a woman took the initiative, and asked ME out for a change.



 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 24
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/15/2010 2:27:17 AM

why don't women stand to pee????
look men are men, they are the hunters, women are the huntees
guys grow a set & start asking women out- you may actually get laid


Well as long as we're talking about men's natural roles as hunters and how you women think we should stick to our roles.... how about women fulfilling their natural roles as nurturers...?

Wow! Now that is settled, perhaps you stay home, raise the children and cook for us!

Yeah, I can see these natural roles working out pretty well!
 womaninblack
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 25
Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?
Posted: 12/15/2010 2:46:16 AM
What's so funny about that?
Surprisingly enough there are some of us who are nurturers and love staying at home, raising the children and supporting the home from the inside while the men do so from the outside.
Somebody has to do it! And I did it joyfully. As a matter of fact I don't think there is a greater and most important role.


And oh, to answer the op's question... I'd rather not ask a man out, but on occasion it felt natural to do so and it was no big deal.
However I do get the impression that generally men would rather do the pursuing, and that is ok with me. The harder he works the more I reward him.
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