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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money      Home login  
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 brewswain
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 1
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 1 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
In todays' News, there is a study that shows more women are marrying for money than in 1940. The author of the report, Dr Catherine Hakim, says "there is a myth that women invariably choose to have a relationship of total equality. More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings."
I thought this was standard procedure, maybe she is referring to political correctness.


Here's the link


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12112283
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 6:25:50 AM
Of course we have to ask the question " Why would a highly educated wealthy man want this woman?" She obviously has something HE wants. Could it be love? What a horrible thought.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 3
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 6:34:35 AM
Not me. Everytime that thought crosses my mind I think of Anna Nicole Smith kissing that old corpse she married ...

There ain't enough booze that would make me jump into bed with someone for money.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 4
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 6:44:56 AM
okay I have to ask? normal every day women or gold digging bimbo's
Most normal women wont.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 5
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 6:51:58 AM
Nothing newsworthy here. After all, prostitution IS the oldest profession, and it's here to stay---especially in this economy.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 6
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:00:58 AM

In todays' News, there is a study that shows more women are marrying for money than in 1940
I kinda don't get that.
I mean, back in the 40's most of the women who married were an "at home" wife/mother. They weren't out earning money to put into the marriage... and if so, then at very little pay to contribute to the marriage monies. It was the husbands money that "kept" them.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 7
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:07:16 AM
More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings
. If that is the criteria for marrying for money it's rather a weak survey.

What's next a study of the trend in men marrying for sex ( is that an oxymoron ? ) based on the number of married couples without children? Did the study also conclude that one apple plus two oranges equals a pear.
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 8
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History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:14:33 AM
It makes more sense to marry a man who has a great or greater earning capacity especially if you are going to have children. Even those women who want to have a career outside the home are ultimately more responsible for the rearing of their children and are required to make the necessary arrangements for the children's health care needs, extra curricular activities, etc. That means more women have to take off when their children need them than do the men. Which can mean being passed over for raises in salary, loss of wages due to lost time for an ill child, and potential job losses or promotions due to excessive time off being needed.

I've noticed more and more younger women marrying older men. I wondered why that was until I thought about it a while. Younger men are often not ready to settle down, are not ready to be responsible and so marrying a man who is older offers a younger woman the opportunity to have the family she wants and a more secure mate.

On the other hand, I've also noticed young men looking at older women more and more. This makes me wonder if we have a problem and the youth of today feel they need to latch on to secure older relationships due to economic realities as they stand currently.

Anyway, just more to think about.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 9
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:24:17 AM
This leads me to ask all sorts of questions that are not answered on the website.

http://www.gazette.com/articles/degrees-97395-getting-women.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/13/AR2010091306555.html

In the US, more women are getting a higher education than men, who the heck are these women marrying?

The report seems to be based solely on women marrying men with more education than they have. The idea that an advanced degree brings in more money does not always hold true. I have an MA and last year, made about $30,000 as a part-time college instructor. My boyfriend has a BA in engineering and will make ten times that much.

In order to substantiate this claim, the study needs to reflect the actual EARNING power of couples and not their education status.

Where was this study done? Since this was on BBC news, I assume it was a British study, though the new report doesn't say which institution conducted it. Whom did they study? There is a mass influx of Mid-Eastern and East Indian into Britain: were they included in the study? Were they the main focus? If so, cultural trends of these socio-economic classes might not reflect on the somewhat indigenous population of the British Isles.

Why can't a woman be equal to her husband even if he makes more money? In my relationship, I am certainly not the inferior! I dunno, but the researcher seems to be reaching faulty conclusions.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 10
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History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:30:26 AM
And how does this fit with the fact that 57% of college students in the U.S. are women? And that women are more likely to graduate from college than men?

http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2010/01/29/women-more-likely-than-men-to-graduate-college-at-22/

BTW, more education doesn't mean higher earnings. The Ph.D.s that I know who do medical research don't earn all that much. Adjunct professors at universities (and very few professors get tenure any more) don't earn much. Education does not necessarily mean higher wages.

On the other hand, the younger guys I talk to all believe that young women place a high value on a guy's earning potential and won't date guys if they don't have money. I don't know if it's true or not. It could be another lame excuse by guys who aren't hitting it off with women. But they all tell me that.

Whatever. It doesn't affect me personally.

I do wonder. If they're comparing to the 1940s - in those days most women didn't work outside the home and when they chose a marriage partner, you *know* a guy's ability to provide for a family had to be an important factor in a woman's choice.
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 11
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:35:14 AM

On the other hand, I've also noticed young men looking at older women more and more. This makes me wonder if we have a problem and the youth of today feel they need to latch on to secure older relationships due to economic realities as they stand currently.


Naaaa....they just think we can teach them something sexually that their young puppy girlfriends can't

I used to get 5+ emails a day from 25 - club till I changed my restrictions. Even had one of my daughters friends try to hit me up one time....needless to say, they are no longer friends. We both kicked him to the curb fast!

Anyway....it doesn't matter what the study says...I know for myself and the friends I have in my life...that we would rather eat nails and glass than sleep with some old geezer to gain his money. Most of us have our own money....we may not be rich but can take care of our families well enough.

As for the young ones wanting a wealthy older man....have at it. If the guy is gullible enough to not realize she's with him for money and not for his amazing stamina and dashing sagging skin good looks...then it's his problem.

Chances are....WE (us sexy older gals ) don't want him anyway!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
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History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:05:20 AM
Ho hum!

Its clear to me that most women give no thought to the money or earning potential of a prospective mate. That is why they all end up with unemployable bums that live off of them, steal from them, and abuse them in a state of drug and booze fueled rage.

Duh.....

Of course women marry for money, so do men. What are you going to do? Pick someone that will make you poor? I really don't think so.....
 Butterfly~Effect
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 13
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:16:48 AM

Nothing about AGE in the OP Butterfly. This is about money. Don't spin the vinyl.


Ahhh....true enough....there I go assuming.

Nevertheless....IF someone (regardless of age) is not realizing that another is marrying them for their money....then it's still their problem. I do believe that some people are so desperate to not be alone that they ignore the warning signs.

How would you know if someone is marrying you only for your money?....I guess you wouldn't unless you were in the relationship long enough and watch for the signs of economic and financial importance. Or....if the more financially set person suggested a prenup before wedding vows were exchanged.


In todays' News, there is a study that shows more women are marrying for money than in 1940
I kinda don't get that.
I mean, back in the 40's most of the women who married were an "at home" wife/mother. They weren't out earning money to put into the marriage... and if so, then at very little pay to contribute to the marriage monies. It was the husbands money that "kept" them.


I also agree with this.....back in the 40's, there were very few options open to women. Most did not have the same earning potential as men. Marrying well or marrying someone with a stable income was more of a necessity rather than a luxury.


On the other hand, the younger guys I talk to all believe that young women place a high value on a guy's earning potential and won't date guys if they don't have money. I don't know if it's true or not. It could be another lame excuse by guys who aren't hitting it off with women. But they all tell me that.


I believe it's a lame excuse. Most of the young ladies I know through my daughter (20) are educated and financially stable. If the young men are feeling that they are being pushed aside for someone with a higher earning potential...it's more than likely because the young women don't want to date someone who is not at their level and seek out a partner who IS closer to their own earning potential for future happiness.

I'm curious if the men that have told you this are kind that have not done much to further their own financial growth.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 14
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History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:25:46 AM
Would need to look at the study, but from the snippet presented on the BBC it would appear her conclusions are a bit whack (sometimes happens with these sound bites of the sexy conclusion from a study - gosh I hate that!). She’s looking at the difference in educational attainment and speculating that if women wanted equality, they would be seeking men with the same level of education (and thus the same earnings potential). She doesn’t seem to address that - in North America at least - women are the higher income earner in about 30% of relationships.

I assume it is a British study but even so, I assume education follows roughly similar trends between Britain and North America. Half of the population had a grade 8 education in the 40‘s with only 4% of women and 6% of men graduating college. Post secondary education had a massive jump in attendance after WWII, mainly through GI bills and the like, and post secondary education now is at the highest levels in history. In 1940, only 30% of 18 or 19 year olds were in school, which had doubled by the 90’s.

In general, women have always looked to marry “a good provider” and, even though the definition has changed over the years, I still see bits of that thinking holding over. Perhaps THAT is what this researcher is actually getting at. Although there is equality in education (and earning potential) you’ll still find most (not all) women say they want a man who earns AT LEAST the same or more than them while most (not all and gradually declining << which might actually be the bigger "news", but I doubt people would hear it) men are still willing to partner up with someone who earns less/has less education. Arguably, the vestiges of “provider” thinking is alive and well only now it is called “female entitlement”.

Edit to add: I don't think it is a case of marrying "ONLY for money" - just the relative importance placed on that factor. Thinking about it, the study might actually reveal the shift in thinking of what's "good enough". I imagine in the 40's it was "good enough" if you had enough to eat and some clothes to wear, and the man who provided that was valued as a "good provider" but now we've become increasingly more materialistic as a society and someone who meets the necessities of life *tends* to be valued lower than someone who has an iphone and travels south each winter.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 15
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:40:41 AM
There was a war in the 40s. .and a draft.

All the working class V rile hunks were gone.

What was left to pick from? Older rich men...............


Ho hum!


^^^^^^^^^^
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 16
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:57:48 AM

increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money


You post this like it's a bad thing. I am going to be totally frank and earnest here. I would marry for money at this point of my life at the drop of a hat. I tried the marry for love thing, it didn't work out so good.

The only reason most people look down on those doing it is because of jealousy. " Ohhhh I would never marry for money" yea well nobody asked you, or plan on asking you so you will never ever be faced with such a dilemma..

Hell I might even marry a man if there is enough money involved, and I am one of the biggest homophobes on POF.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:01:42 AM
Of course women marry for money, so do men. What are you going to do? Pick someone that will make you poor? I really don't think so.....


This makes perfect sense. I would never choose someone who would lower my standard of living---hence my seeking of a financially secure mate. While not wealthy, he and I are both "comfortable".
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 18
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:14:47 AM

Hell I might even marry a man if there is enough money involved, and I am one of the biggest homophobes on POF.

HA!!! Did you not read the thread about homophobia? It's not real. You aren't "afraid" of manly-love, you're just not in tune with your own sexual desires.

~OT~ When I was about 17 a friend of my parents said to me, "Don't marry for money. Just love where monies at." I was mortified at the comment, and certainly didn't follow the advice, yet I remember those words all these years later. Maybe he had a point? (Wouldn't work for me, but I do see where it does work for others.) JMO
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 19
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:18:22 AM
Another typical gold-digging thread. What is your point, OP? I would also marry a man more educated, and with a bigger income than my own.

As a matter of fact, I am currently "talking" to one now and that is without the help of POF. Gotta love that real life dating.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 20
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:26:13 AM
I think every man I have dated as a working adult has made more than me. I cannot for the life of me recall (and pretty sure I didn't ever know) how much they made or how much difference there was between our paychecks.

We looked at monthly bills and decided on a course of action. This was the one and only time I lived with someone.

Any bills I had before I met him, I paid. Any bills I had for extra stuff I bought, I paid. It really wasn't that difficult.

So based on that fact, maybe the real truth is that the majority of men still make more than women? Dunno.


In general, women have always looked to marry “a good provider” and, even though the definition has changed over the years, I still see bits of that thinking holding over.


Yes, there is still some of this holding over as many of us were raised by stay-at-home moms. No matter how what your parents tell you, their actions tell you just as much.

Most men and women I know seek someone similar when it comes to $$ or at least someone who was living responsibly before they met.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 21
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 9:42:10 AM
I love this! When men claim that most women they meet are, let's say "fiscally motivated", the women here blast them. When an actual study is done , with results that support that so called myth, that to is scoffed at. Almost proves two other myths about the fairer sex. The woman is always right, and men will never win.
As for me, I avoided the dilemma entirely by avoiding wealth. Of course this methodology seems have had it's own set of draw backs, but at least I can leave the seat up whenever I want.
Seriously though, even though the study shows the link,it falls short of cause and effect. Could be that more women are marrying better educated men because they themselves are better educated, and the disparity in income may be due to inequality in office/workplace.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 22
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 10:50:37 AM

And how does this fit with the fact that 57% of college students in the U.S. are women? And that women are more likely to graduate from college than men?

Men are more likely to go to trade schools and/or join the military. Women tend to also choose fields of study that pay less. An art history/psychology major is going to make less than a math/engineering major

Moreover, even with all that education that women are getting, AND the fact that women make up 53% of the professional workforce, they're still only 28% of the population that makes 40k a year or more.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 12:24:10 PM
First, even in the news snippet, the researcher NEVER says that women are marrying for money: she says that women are marrying men with HIGHER education and the CAPACITY for higher earnings.

This does not translate into women marrying for money, nor does it translate into marriages where the man makes vast amounts of more money than their husbands. It means, simply, that women are marrying men more educated than they are.

And I reiterate, I am not sure how this is possible because there are more women than men getting college educations. In addition, in 2005, "over a quarter, 27.7%, had earned a Bachelor's degree." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educational_attainment_in_the_United_States

Add this to that:
In 2006, over 60 percent of all college degrees were earned by women, and the numbers are expected to get higher over the next decade.
http://www.phonydiploma.com/what-percent-of-people-have-a-college-degree.aspx

If about 1/3 of the population is getting a BA, then whom are the 2/3 marrying? Of 60% of those getting degrees are women, then whom the heck are they marrying?


The working poor, on the other hand, earn only 12 percent of all college degrees. They are also the most likely to obtain just an Associate , rather than a higher degree.
http://www.phonydiploma.com/what-percent-of-people-have-a-college-degree.aspx

I guess the study is speaking of high school drop-outs who marry guys with AA degrees.

In the US, women still make less money than do men:
In 2004 the median income of FTYR workers was $40,798 for males, compared to $31,223 for females (DeNavas-Walt et al., 2005), giving a gender earnings gap in 2004 of 0.235 [2]. This is often expressed as a percentage: "in 2004, women's wages were 76.5% of men's wages," or "in 2004, women earned 23.5% less than men.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male%E2%80%93female_income_disparity_in_the_United_States

Given these stats, it would be kinda hard for a woman to find many men who make the same or less than she does.

As someone else said, I think the study is whacked--or maybe it applies only to the Brits.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 24
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 1:55:20 PM

In todays' News, there is a study that shows more women are marrying for money than in 1940. The author of the report, Dr Catherine Hakim, says "there is a myth that women invariably choose to have a relationship of total equality. More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings."
I thought this was standard procedure, maybe she is referring to political correctness.


It has been so from the start of time........As has the Tarzan effect has too. Learning how to play the game while keeping your marbles is the key!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/5/2011 2:13:11 PM
When I grow up I'm gonna start making up surveys. Then I'm gonna start throwing alllllll the results around and tell everyone of the "truth" that I have discovered. Then I'm gonna figure out how to make lots and lots and lots of money using those "truths".

Then, can I get married??????

Surveys are for suckers. Just like stats.
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