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 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 5
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Instant chemistryPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Chemistry has been normal since Adam and Eve, and it doesn't take even the time to take two sips of coffee to notice it.

It does indeed "mean something". Usually, all great, long-lasting relationships start with instant chemistry. Instant chemistry is always mutual, BECAUSE each and both recognize they found someone who meets their vision, and each and both let their guard down to invite the other close.

*IF* a guy doesn't want you, he doesn't want you. No amount of hanging around will change that.

If YOU don't want a particular guy, most likely he will almost immediately move on. For no matter how much he may want you, if you don't want him, he knows it and he knows it is a waste of his time to continue with you.

Of course, some people (male or female) pretend (let's use the word fake) interest for the express purpose of drawing out from the other person something of value to the pretender. Not many people are that way, though.

Most men simply won't spend time with a woman who doesn't want him. Most. And why should they?



if they dont meet one's ideal within 5 minutes thanks to silly ... harlequin romance book.


Actually, "silly" harlequin romance books (which outsell all other paperback novels combined, month after month after month after ...) always have the lead female character who is strong and in her mid to late 20's (very occasionally in her early 30's) and in dire financial straights (for whatever reasonss) who meets a man who in short order figures out HE has met the woman of HIS dreams, but the lead female character just doesn't "get it" until very nearly the end. The reader, of course, "gets it" almost immediately.

BTW, the lead male (distinctly secondary as a character) is always muscular, too sexy for his own good, handsome, high status, (almost always) rich, and ALWAYS has some hidden to everyone but himself trouble in his background that he doesn't want to deal with, but eventually does with "an understanding woman".

Put a muscular, handsome, extremely sexy, high status, man with a cup of coffee across a table and see how much "instant chemistry" any particular woman on a meet-and-greet date might feel.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 9
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 6:34:30 AM
Most people catch on very quickly indeed. In the boy-meets-girl thing, VERY quickly. It's always been that way. Always.

Yes, _some_ relationships take forever and a day to get going, but for most people they KNEW within seconds. Ask Grannie or Aunt Matida.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 11
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 6:50:48 AM

In the old days, people would meet, if they found the other person somewhat attractive or interesting they'd go out a few times to see what happens.

That must have been the really olden days. I'm 47 and I can't really recall a time when ``somewhat attractive or interesting'' seemed like a good reason for a date. I've either found someone attractive or not attractive and the chemistry was either there or it wasn't.

Does it ALWAYS have to be instant fireworks or nothing?

I'm a sort of all or nothing personality type, so for me, the answer is yes.

What happens when that initial hormonal rush dies down?

You're where you would have been had the initial hormone rush never happened, except you got to enjoy a hormone rush.

I've met guys who I've had fabulous email and conversations with, only to meet and if the earth didn't shake the second our eyes met they weren't interested in taking it any further. What's up with that?

That's a ``feature'' of online dating. It happens with online dating because:

(1) The chemistry you have in person matters a lot. You can hit it off great on the phone, but physical attraction matters.

(2) If you wait too long to meet someone, you can easily create an image of someone in your mind that no one can live up to.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 6:53:24 AM
The odd thing, to me, about all this is that its actually a process of choice on the part of the people involved. If you analyze a recording to the interactions of the people involved, baring social faux pas, what goes on is somewhat innocuous. Each person, however, looks at the interaction and decides to find it appealing or not appealing based on their own values and perceptions.

Since, in situations of severely restricted choice (as in there is only 1 available female for the single available man), the people involved end up hooking up regardless of all the check lists and qualifications they might have. In fact, they change their own decisions about the other person from possibly negative ones to positive ones. The seek out and find appealing aspects of the other, simply because there is no other option.

Wherefore, then, the "instant chemistry"? True, it does exist as a phenomenon, but, is it intrinsic? Myself I think we all just reach a point where, within broad limits, we recognize that whoever is standing in front of us is likely a choice we can live with and decide to find the good in them rather than continuing the hunt. This also explains to me why so many of these choices end badly.

I think we are all in complete control of whether "chemistry" happens, or does not happen. For me, the "chemistry" thing is just another sop that allows us to deny personal responsibility for the outcomes of our interactions....
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 13
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 7:07:16 AM
Do you really believe that the ONLY way to build a relationship is through instant chemistry? Is it not possible to find a person reasonably attractive, interesting, etc and though getting to know them better you can discover a chemistry that might not be instant, but real nonetheless?


It takes about 10 minutes to make a profile on an internet dating site, then post it and start searching embellished profiles for Fabio or Angelina Joli !
You KNOW they are just waiting for YOU!

(Or so most people have been culturally deluded into imagining by the entitlement culture of Disney movies and romance novels)

In reality, the old-fashioned way of meeting in PERSON at the local ice-cream socials or neighborhood activities is how most relationships began.

Today we have so many local meetup groups for different interests, that is the most likely avenue to meet people and develop some relationship OVER TIME..
Not expecting instant chemistry...

It can take years of regular attendance at your local social meetup group events to find someone compatible, but I have personally witnessed many long-term SO couples develop that way.

I didn't ask them all if they immediately felt "spark" or instant chemistry, but most likely they were relaxed enough to truly be themselves in the group,
and not feel such pressure to try to impress each other within 5 minute coffee interviews... S
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 14
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 7:15:19 AM
^^^ Careful not to confuse interest with action.

*IF* there is no interest, there is no action, and never will be any action.

*WHEN* there is interest, there MAY BE action, and when there is action it MAY BE a long time a brewing. Some people crawl for years to get to an ice cream cone, others walk 5 miles to get to the cone 100 feet away, and others move directly.

Still, if there is NO INTEREST, there is NO INTEREST.

It don't take a weatherman to see which way the wind is blowing.


(procalharem) Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If anyone can prove that instant chemistry in 30 seconds is more than just lust-based physical attraction I'd love to hear it.


Ask the woman I married.

"Love at first sight" is so common, they write songs and novels and movies and tv scripts about it.

All you need is two people who have an individual vision filled by the other person, and each and both to be sending and accepting "I'm safe" signals as fast as they can be sent.

Go watch some young people in a "singles place". Signals all over the place, with most not being accepted. BUT watch closely, and you'll see a couple sending/accepting signals so fast their friends just stand there and gawk.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 15
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 7:51:04 AM
Whether you call it chemistry or physical attraction, it is needed in order to make two people feel compelled to get together. If not for 'that pull' we would have all settled in with anyone who showed an interest.

Can it develop over time? Yes it can.

Can it be sensed right away? Yes it can.

It's up to each of us to do what works for each of us and there is no right or wrong...only key is to find people like minded who agree with one anothers approach.

I can tell in 5 seconds if someone repulses me to the point where I just know I will never touch him...and if he passes that test, the rest is up to his personality. Just because when I met him he didnt repulse me physically doesnt mean when he speaks his mind I will still be attracted. Physical attraction is just one of the many things we need to keep attraction going. Mental, spiritual, equally important to physical attraction....its just easier to determine the physical attraction is all.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 16
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 9:54:10 AM
Put a muscular, handsome, extremely sexy, high status, man with a cup of coffee across a table and see how much "instant chemistry" any particular woman on a meet-and-greet date might feel.


Ok twist my arm! Add a great character to boot and maybe you've got me!

(Hmmmm.....aren't fairy tales grand! )

Back on topic.....yes OP, great relationships are built and take time, but there has to be a basic sexual attraction between both, otherwise it becomes a platonic friendship not a sexual one.

I would tend to trust something that becomes stronger over time. It depends on a person's inate character. I'm a show me type of person. I tend to trust that which I can see, feel and experience to a certain extent. I don't respond well to just words without the actions.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 18
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 10:37:11 AM
Rather than just use different words to say the same thing, I'm going to say "Amen!" to femaleconnections' comments.
I think there are situations where " not gonna happen" is a very quick decision, and many more where there's something there that can be explored, and of course that intense" instant chemistry" might be what happens. Yes, I'll agree that the "hit you over the head" type of "instant chemistry" can tend to burn hot, fast, and burn out quick. But sometimes there's a sustainable connection behind that first quick response. Then there are those whom, for whatever gawdawful reason, will try to force a relationship into existence even though they feel nothing for the other person. I think most of the time really solid relationships come from a certain degree of quick chemistry that has an underpinning that can be built on.

"Put a muscular, handsome, extremely sexy, high status, man with a cup of coffee across a table and see how much "instant chemisty" any particular woman on a meet-and-greet might feel".

What can, and DOES happen, is that the man opens his mouth and out comes a river of arrogance, condecension, and bombast, only women that are mental and emotional lightweights are going to feel chemistry. IF the man has a personality and character as handsome as his looks, things tend to go better-but there are still women who just won't find him all that attractive. The mutual attraction/chemistry thing can be quite subjective.
Cindy O
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 19
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 10:45:41 AM
Are there still people out there who believe in the old fashioned way of building a relationship? Does it ALWAYS have to be instant fireworks or nothing? What happens when that initial hormonal rush dies down?



I believe in building a relationship based on mutual attraction and compatibility. The spark is ignited over time.

This question reminded me of an old thread I had posted on.

Some one else wrote

Spark!! isn't that when you touch positive and negitive and they flash before your eye's, and then it's gone. Like most dates lmao.




My answer

LOL....sparks do not necessarily mean compatibility for a lasting relationship. People who have to feel that spark when meeting some one may be missing out on a wonderful person.



There is a saying, Love is a friendship caught on fire.


A slow burning fire ignited by friendship rather than the instant intense burning of one that dies out quickly.

I didn't feel an instant so called spark when meeting my SO but I did feel attraction and wanted to get to know him better.


BTW, I met my SO through another online dating site.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 21
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 11:08:31 AM
I didn't read all the replies...only the OP.

For me personally, I know within a few minutes of meeting someone
whether or not I can see myself with them. That's not to say I need
fireworks or whatever you call it, but I'm either attracted to them or
I'm not. If I'm not, I don't see any point in wasting their time or mine.

I don't read much into instant chemistry. I either like you or I don't.
I need at least an interest in someone to consider taking time to develop
a relationship. There has to be something that first attracts you to
someone...call it what you want.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 22
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 11:28:18 AM
There have always been people who've done 'speed dating' and thinking they know in seconds/minutes if they have 'chemistry with someone...and maybe they do, but I know I don't. I might just love someone at first and find I can't stand them after getting to know them or I may think ugh at first and find out they are a really great person after a while. The truth is, we can't know much of anything about someone until we get to know them, but that's the individuals business as to whether or not they want to take the time. It all depends on what you are looking for. I don't think there's been much change in peoples' personalities as a whole, it's just the mediums that change.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 23
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 12:07:41 PM

Instant chemistry doesn't mean instant relationship. It takes time, trust and willingness to build a strong foundation to form a real relationship. But try telling most of the men here that, and they poo- poo it.


Hey, it's a free country, let'em look for whatever it is they think they want.
Personally, I think that the online dating scene is a way to cast wider net, but there are still lots of romances developing the way you describe,from meeting people in real life. I think a lot of men flocked to online dating thinking that it would be like putting a quarter in a machine and out pops perfect girlfriend-in other words, it would be a hell of a lot less work for the same reward.

And a lot of times the "no chemistry" excuse is used because the guy didn't get a vibe that it would be a quick and easy process to get into your pants. If you come across as having intelligence and self-respect, they'll CALL it "no chemistry"...when it was just "not dumb and desperate" .
Wait until you are on the other end...you meet a guy with whom you have NO sense of connection, no feeling of interest and attraction, and so you say "it was nice to meet you but I don't think we are a match" and listen to the yelling THEN. And of course there will be the ubiquitious forum thread " women don't want nice guys!"....
Cindy O
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 24
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 12:47:26 PM
Ya know, almost every thread sooner or later -- usually sooner -- turns into a "men are too horny", "not able, or at least not willing, to think of anything but sex".

If it's not that, it's "women deserve to be recompensed for their time spent with a man".

I say women and men who like each other, find each other. Some Q-tips are scared to death that someone, somewhere is having fun.

That "chemistry" -- or "instant chemistry" as it has been degraded -- is nothing more than the physical "I'm safe" signals sent and accepted and sent in return and accepted that a man and woman exchange when they like each other and want to build something greater. Those signals are so strongly associated in the human subcortex with "safety to move forward" that they can be, and most usually are, displayed before two people ever talk to each other.

In other words, "It FEELS right!"

If they don't like each other, they don't send and/or don't accept the signals. Simple as that.

People who do not extend and accept those signals never get into a relationship, except by default, ruining almost all other opportunities along the way.

Some people take extended periods of time, even years, to send and accept enough signals so there is then a couple. Taking years does not change the outcome. People who don't like being coupled at all, don't send/don't accept signals ever.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 25
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 12:48:42 PM
I'll agree that it's possible to meet someone, like them, and then find
out later you don't like them at all. I understand that...happens to me
and I expect it happens to a lot of other people. If it didn't happen, I'd
think there wouldn't be many broken relationships.

My point in this whole thing is that I have to be attracted to you to even
want to TRY to work at a relationship and I do indeed know within minutes
whether or not I'm willing to try. I don't necessarily call it "chemistry",
I decide real soon whether I like you and then it might take a while to decide
I don't. If I decide I don't like you, it's not an issue. I just don't meet you again.

Why waste time trying to decide if you even like someone?
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 26
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 12:53:12 PM
Is it ALWAYS instant fireworks? Well no. What I do tend to believe happens in the beginning is you might fall head over heals for the person you have made them out to be which may fall short of who that person really is when you get to know them.

Your experience is living testamony of that!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 28
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 2:21:33 PM

Curious to know your thoughts on this whole "instant chemistry" thing. In the old days, people would meet, if they found the other person somewhat attractive or interesting they'd go out a few times to see what happens. Now with the advent of internet dating, it seems that most people seem to think you can tell if you want to date someone based on a 5 minute cup of coffee. Are there still people out there who believe in the old fashioned way of building a relationship?

I believe in the old-fashioned way of dating ~ but it was no different back then. If there was no instant chemistry, there was no date.

Does it ALWAYS have to be instant fireworks or nothing?

Yes, for me ~ it does require that. If I don't feel a "wow" when I meet someone ~ there is simply no need to waste his time or mine.

What happens when that initial hormonal rush dies down?

I'm not looking with eyes filled with hormones. I'm listening with ears tuned into to: intelligence, sense of humor, commonalities, etc. I can meet a handsome man every time I leave home. That doesn't mean I'm meeting someone I have chemistry with. It goes much deeper than the shallowness some people make it out to be.

I've met guys who I've had fabulous email and conversations with, only to meet and if the earth didn't shake the second our eyes met they weren't interested in taking it any further. What's up with that?

If you are depending on an email to introduce you to chemistry with someone, you're likely going to be gravely disappointed a LOT. A phone call will give an indication ~ but the only way to know for sure? MEET. It's not real, until it's real. I rely on email/text/phone and them meeting. If we can get through those stages and there is physical chemistry, it's never a case of whether there will be a second date, it's simply a matter of when that next date will be. JMO
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 29
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 2:28:41 PM
Browneyesboo, I wasn't actually addressing your first post, hadn't read it yet when I posted, mine just happened to be right under yours and had some things that I'm sure looked like I was addressing yours. I do see that this works for many, it doesn't for me and I'm well aware that limits my perception of what others may feel. Sorry, didn't mean to make it look like I was taking you on.

For me, I must get to know someone better before I can feel any chemistry. Now that said, if someone is a total arse I'm not going to bother, but then again it does depend on the situation, I mean even Archie Bunker (whom I despised as a character to the nth degree!) had his good points, but I wouldn't stick around to find them. But there could be a situation where you would be around a person like that and grow to at least have some respect for them, can't imagine but it's possible.

Anyway, just wanted to clear that up.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 30
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 3:13:17 PM
I don't trust "instant chemistry." The question I ask is, "Do I want to continue the conversation with this person?" "Do I want to know this person better?" So far, on the rare occasions when I've felt like the answer was "Yes," it's not an option, either because of distance or other barriers. I keep looking.

I've sometimes had incredible "chemistry" with people I knew were a really bad choice. In most cases, I was able to resist it. There are times when I meet someone that I don't find particularly interesting but I talk myself into giving them a chance. In the end, I've always decided I was right the first time. I'm finding my intuition has served me pretty well. There's been two guys I've met socially that I thought had serious potential but I also had nagging doubts. Over time, I learned that my doubts were completely justified.

I can tell pretty quickly if a person is interesting to me or not. It isn't about fireworks. It's other qualities.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 3:46:30 PM
What I find ridiculous are people who religiously believe in instant chemistry and think they know for sure within a few seconds if the person is the right person for them, so they end up marrying the "perfect" person, and then end up here now divorced. How good was the instant chemistry for all of the people who end up in broken relationships and divorced (about half of marriages)? Instant chemistry did a con job on you.

For the people in broken relationships and marriages, how long did it take for the instant chemistry to turn into instant hate?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 4:41:34 PM
"Instant" chemistry/attraction is great for a quick phuck or two. That's it.

Building relationships????? Not so great. And do not misinterpet "attraction" with "chemistry". They can be mixed a bit, but "attraction" and "chemistry" are not one and the same.

I believe in chemistry, but I don't believe it HAS to be there "instantly" and in fact, I suggest that the chemistry that is created between two people over a period of time can turn a relationship quite "hot"(for the lack of a better word). Watch a good sports team that has been together a couple of years and the relationships between certain players. That "chemistry" between players took more than a minute or two to evolve,but there is no denying that it's there.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 35
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Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 5:04:40 PM
There's a couple of things I want to put in on this...
First of all, CHEMISTRY has more than one meaning to people, as regards relationships. Many people here, have talked about it as though it's simply a matter of LUST, while at the same time others are thinking of it as something more to do with other compatibilities, of conversational style, interests, cultural nuances, and so forth. Having and instant sense of "chemistry" is NOT always a matter of physical attraction at all, though that's certainly the most obvious kind. In short, the REASON we refer to it AS "chemistry," and don't use other perfectly good words LIKE lust, or social compatibility, is BECAUSE it's very different from all of those.

Second, I suggest for consideration, that it is MY generation that has a greater desire for "INSTANT" relationship chemistry, more than the younger generation, and that this is NOT because the internet has presented the illusion of more choice, it is because we have been through relationships that failed utterly to fulfill our expectations and dreams, and we WANT those "payoffs" that we THOUGHT we were getting the first time around. Men and women alike, have become convinced by direct experience, that investing time in someone does NOT pay off. Some feel as though they were outright 'suckered' by society or ourselves, into investing time, energy, and our entire emotional and physical existence into another person, only to come away with bushels filled with "maybe tomorrow" fantasies, now certain never to be fulfilled.
So we write up careful lists of specifications for our ideal mates, and like hired buyers, we go on a demanding search for exactly what we want, NOT because we actually EXPECT to find it, at least not easily, but because we are certain that we DON'T want to lose any more of our lives to "maybe's" and "if I can just get them to's."
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 36
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 7:53:29 PM

usually sooner -- turns into a "men are too horny", "not able, or at least not willing, to think of anything but sex".

If it's not that, it's "women deserve to be recompensed for their time spent with a man".

I don't think anyone here has said these things.

Some Q-tips are scared to death that someone, somewhere is having fun.

Why would that scare anybody? And dating someone is not the only "fun" there is in life, not IMO. I suspect that some nimrods may be MAD, that they aren't getting the results they THINK they deserve.

That "chemistry" -- or "instant chemistry" as it has been degraded -- is nothing more than
the physical "I'm safe" signals sent and accepted and sent in return and accepted that a man and woman exchange when they like each other and want to build something greater. Those signals are so strongly associated in the human subcortex with "safety to move forward" that they can be, and most usually are, displayed before two people ever talk to each other.
I agree, I think people are misunderstanding chemistry to be nothing but "lust". Real chemistry is so much more than that. Unless a person is incredibly desperate and will force themselves to be with anyone that doesn't actively run away, I do think the basis for that chemistry/connection begins at first meeting. How 2 people go about developing that sense of connection can take various forms.

If I decide I don't like you, it's not an issue. I just don't meet you again.
Exactly.There are lots of meetings with people who have absolutely nothing wrong with them but you just do not feel any sense of connection, of resonating with each other.Even when there is a mutual attraction/connection/interest, it's not always going to turn into a fairy-tale romance.Regardless of what 2 people's subcortexes are saying, there are other factors that play into the development of a sustainable relationship.

but it might be more accurate to say that you sometimes know within a few minutes of meeting someone that you NEVER want to see them again.
Yes..the "this is SO not gonna happen" running through your mind. If you are a reasonably civilized person,you may have a cup of coffee and chat with the person. Sometimes that gets more read into it than is realy there. Just because someone doesn't take one look at you,turn around and walk away,is NOT an indication of "connection".

TV syndrome meaning if you have a TV and only airwaves to pick up channels on an antenna you usually only get 3-4 stations within your range. People with those limitations always seem to manage to find something on to watch. There is not much channel surfing going on.

I understand what you are saying, but when you shift that over to PEOPLE,where does "realistic" leave off and "settling" begin? We are coming into times now where finding a pair-bond is no longer nearly a matter of survival.If it was a matter of controlling yourself by having limited choices, why would anybody even bother with online dating? They would simply get with someone based on their being local and single.

No silly most guys do not try to get INTO a womans pants.... they try to get the women OUT of their pants...lol

sorry couldnt resist

I think everybody got my drift,lol.

I've sometimes had incredible "chemistry" with people I knew were a really bad choice.
I think we've ALL been there and done that...but again that supposes that 'chemistry' is simply hormones calling out to one another. What some of us mean by chemistry is MUCH more than just physical attraction. If you know the person is a bad choice, that's NOT the kind of chemistry I'm talking about. I do not demand "instant chemistry", but there has to be a MUTUAL feeling that there could be a buildable foundation there.

I believe in chemistry, but I don't believe it HAS to be there "instantly" and in fact, I suggest that the chemistry that is created between two people over a period of time can turn a relationship quite "hot"(for the lack of a better word). Watch a good sports team that has been together a couple of years and the relationships between certain players. That "chemistry" between players took more than a minute or two to evolve,but there is no denying that it's there.
This is PRECISELY the "chemistry" I'm talking about...it is not just about physical/sexual attraction.
But there are a lot of people who are looking for that immediate "wow- I'm looking at my next ex!" feeling...and quite often if they go by just the hormones giving a standing ovation, that is exactly what DOES happen.
Cindy O
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 37
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/18/2011 8:49:40 PM
Perhaps it should called 'lust at first sight' and then it turns into love. How often does it actually happen, who knows, let's to to go to wikiedia and find out!

I am of the mind that yes, if I am not attracted to them for whatever reason then I might not stay around, but if there is a glimmer of interest, not necessarily that instant chemistry rift that seems to be all the rage, I might go on a second date just to double check. I would hate to write someone off just because they were nervous or off their feed that day. That would be a real shame.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 39
Instant chemistry
Posted: 1/19/2011 3:45:50 AM

I've met guys who I've had fabulous email and conversations with, only to meet and if the earth didn't shake the second our eyes met they weren't interested in taking it any further. What's up with that?



Nothing that's just the "microwave" generation and their"instant" tomfoolery. lol.
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