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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meetin      Home login  
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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 2
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Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
She ended it because she figured out you weren't capable of doing a thread search
and seeing the numerous threads already done to death on this topic :P
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 3
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 12:44:55 PM
Did you simply chat via IM or was it by phone?

Maybe it was some kids having their way with you.

Maybe it was a woman who wanted to see how far she would get with you, with her being married.

Or, maybe it was cold feet.

Did she contact you since?
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 6
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 12:56:45 PM
Yes, it happened to me too.
Either they chicken out, the spouse gets suspicious, or they just screw with you to see how far they can take it on phone charm alone.

Bottom line, everyone can be anyone and anything they want to claim they are online, but you have no clue who are really dealing with until you meet them face to face.

Don't lose sleep, click on the next one.


 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 7
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 12:57:51 PM
OP:

Such is life, is correct.

Chin up an' all that jazz!!!
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 9
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 1:17:17 PM
You take your chances with online dating, that's the nature of the beast.
You can not have demands from someone you don't know, and asking someone to go on webcam seems creepy to many people.

The person who pulled a Houdini on you can re-appear in two weeks with a lame excuse, and want to continue like nothing happened. Don't ever bother to respond, or you are setting yourself up for a second serving of the same dish.

There will always be flakes, but better avoid the long distance connections, as it is improbable to be able to meet regularly someone who lives real far.

 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 11
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Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 2:14:19 PM
Most likely she wasn't who she said she was.

Happens more frequently than we'd like, but it's just another way of adding to the numbers you gotta crunch to find the one you want.

Almost certainly she wasn't who she said she was.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 12
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If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/20/2011 2:34:34 PM
Oh, yeah. Messages, then emails, then phone calls. LOTS of phone calls. Then it was 'find me a B&B where my dog will be welcome when I come visit.' Then - totally gone from the face of the earth - turned out that while he was busy making plans to visit, he'd already been living with the woman he finally married. On the rare times I think about it, I wonder how she felt about having him spend hours on the phone nearly every evening with a woman who wasn't her.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/20/2011 2:45:07 PM
Bottom line is, IT DOESN'T MATTER. She's cut you off. Since every person is unique, figuring out why this happened would not help you in any way to avoid it in the future, so just move on.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 17
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If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/20/2011 4:35:44 PM
This is very common for online dating. I've been tempted to do it, but I don't want to stand someone up because I know I'd hate being treated that way.

I do get cold feet just prior to the real life meet, because so many of my other real life meets have been disappointing or unsafe. I always take a deep breath and meet the person anyway. But for a first meet, I only meet someone for coffee or lunch. I don't meet the guys who live a distance away as it's too expensive now a days to drive 2 hours to meet someone for just coffee and I also don't want to be obligated to spend a long time with them. If she was cooking you dinner, she probably did get cold feet at the thought of having a total stranger over at her house.

I wouldn't worry about it. This is a dating site where people say "Next" and move on.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 18
If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/20/2011 4:35:49 PM
Yeah it's happened to me before when chatting with women long distance.
Which is why I don't anymore.
Could be cold feet.
But probably she wasn't what she presented in some way.

Just wanted to flirt.
Not to meet.

She's probably now flirting with someone else to get her fix.
but won't meet him either.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 23
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Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 6:20:54 PM
and now that you have changed the title to your thread......it is not going to show up
in the next person's search because there is not topic listed!!

I searched: Stood up
found over 20 threads

Flaked out: more threads

Date backed out: more threads

so what is so "odd" about your experience?
Seems to be happening quite a bit here!
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 24
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/20/2011 8:57:55 PM
Once, in 1965, my phone rang and rang and rang. When I picked up the receiver, no one was there ... dead air ... then a few seconds later, a dial tone.

It happened again in 1966.
...and 1967
...and 1968
...and 1969
...and 1970
...and 1971
...and 1972
...and 1973
...and 1974
...and every year since, in every place I've ever lived up until this very day.

I daresay EVERYONE in this forum has had a similar record of missed connections.

I call BS on your "search". If your claim about thread searching is true, you don't have the skills to find an apple in a Seattle supermarket.

B.S.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 27
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/21/2011 5:28:42 AM

Any advice to give for having someone not 'be a flake?" when it comes to meeting?

I think you're BIGGEST mistake was relying solely on IMing as a form of communication. Aside from that being totally LAME, you really have NO idea whose behind that keyboard. Could have been some old pervert getting a kick out of screwing around with a guy online, could have been a married woman getting her jollies having you pay attention to her, and it could have been a bunch of dumbass teenagers having a field day with you. So stop relying on lame IMing as a form of communication. Leave that to the pimple-faced teenagers.

If someone can't TALK on the phone with you, that should be your FIRST red flag....and your LAST.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 28
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If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/21/2011 6:57:02 PM
Can't see that you've done anything wrong at all. She might have been a very timid character. She could have had an accident, been called away to a family emergency, been married and got cold feet when she realised you were intending to meet her, or just been amusing herself online with no intention of meeting anyone. This kind of thing happens and you get some very weird people online. It still hurt when you are affected by them though.

As regards avoiding a flake, after a few messages it's probably best to gently encourage her to talk on the phone. If she's married, she may avoid this or try to restrict you to certain times or to her calling you on every occasion rather than it being two-way. She won't want her husband to find out. Generally, if someone is responding happily and initiating contact sometimes, as well as keeping their word on when they'll be in touch, etc., there is a better chance they are committed to building on the relationship rather than messing you around.
 Fierysunlvr
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 29
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Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/21/2011 10:39:52 PM
I agree with simplywhatever..why should anyone care of a thread has been done before? Everyone's situation is unique to them. I could see if the exact same thread showed up 3x a week, but to have the same thread every once in a while should be no big deal.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 30
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/22/2011 1:10:29 AM

Just IM's, no phone calls.


I won't meet anyone without at least a phone call... I want to hear their voice, you *can* get a better idea of them talking to them that you will never get on IM/text. And hearing each other's voices also has a "comfort level gain" with people, when you can hear (and they can hear) the actual person - it makes it more "personal".
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 35
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/29/2011 7:06:06 AM

Any advice to give for having someone not 'be a flake?" when it comes to meeting


Keep it local, to within 100 km. (You're within the highest populated area of ON. Lot's of choices!)
Keep messaging and talking on the phone to within a week or two and meet in a public venue for the first time.

Write it down to experience and just say NEXT!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 36
Strange Situation - Great conversation until leading up to the meeting?
Posted: 1/29/2011 7:44:42 AM

Any advice to give for having someone not 'be a flake?" when it comes to meeting


Easy as one,two,three.

I'm flakier than the majority here,but I keep it hidden until I actually meet someone. Than my true colours come out, and though I warn the potentials they can't believe what a nutbar I am. Drinking also helps. Actually,drinking A LOT really helps.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 38
If It's redunded I'm sorry, yes I searched. Odd experience.
Posted: 1/30/2011 12:15:12 PM
["I'm being snarky , but what's redunded? "]
Must one of them 25cent words he picked up in college.
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