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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?      Home login  
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 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 3
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
After the divorce two years ago I gave the house to the ex-wife and I retained my IRA. The documentation with the investment company has my two children as inheriting it upon my checking out.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 4
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 1/25/2011 3:11:08 PM
Yikes! Did you have to remind me? I keep meaning to get things in order but [sigh] still haven't done so. Having worked in a law firms, I can't count the number of Wills and Codicils I have typed yet have neglected to look after my own affairs. I have no offspring or dependents and consequently I want my estate to flow through to at least a couple of charities that are near and dear to my heart.

Seeing as I am probably going to succumb sooner rather than later [cancer is currently in remission] I also need to start to set about cleaning and disposing .....more commonly referred to as "downsizing" so that when the time comes my exit will be as unencumbered as possible. Hmmm, I guess I had better get at 'er, eh?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 9
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 1/25/2011 7:07:47 PM
The OP has a truly legitimate question for folks even at our age? I know my Mother at the ripe old age of 71 does not have a will. Hell, I don't even know where she wants to be burried? I know my two kidlets will inherit whatever is left of my estate and I have a will for that and also power of attorney! OP? Thanks for bringing this to mind darlin cuz there is much I need to work on!!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 1/26/2011 5:57:34 AM
Yes, I have it all arranged. Big problem is being able to make sure the stuff can be found by the survivors when you pull into that last feature film. I picked up one of those combination safes and put all the papers into it. Wrote the combination down on a sticky note and stuck it to the side of the safe so they can open it, and in the case of me getting Alzheimer's, I will be able to open it....if I remember what the note is for, I suppose.

I would not spend a lot of time on the details of funerals. My experience has been that they are for the living, not the dead, and most organize them according to their own needs. Beyond basic declarations like cremation or burial or donation to science, if you really want to specify the details pre-arrangement is about the only reliable route. Since you don't know exactly how you are going to go, its pretty pointless worrying about it.

The single biggest issue for anybody who is not on welfare will be that of taxation. The tax people just are not quick, and they are meticulous when it comes to paper details. If you can arrange to have an estate that contains nothing by tax free insurance benefits, that is the way to go. Otherwise, you need to figure out how to make sure whoever is picking up the remains has available cash to pay off the disposal costs, and probably operating cash to maintain anything you have that needs maintenance until the tax people let them sell or otherwise transfer it. That may be a year in some places, or more. The issue there is being able to estimate accurately when exactly your lights get switched off and having a fair degree of trust in your executors. Really, in a way, the death penalty is sort of a gift horse in this area, although you have to murder someone to benefit, and that is a messy, unpleasant business at best.

If you have the luxury of a slow decline, then the best solution is to get rid of as much as you can by either gifts to likely survivors (kids, young healthy SO, cat rescue charities, etc) and arrange so that you hit the skids with as much debt as you can possibly accumulate. Pay off the education of your grand-children. That way the tax man will not have much to say about the results of a life of labour and frugality, while the debt collectors will have trouble going after the grand-children.
 jackfouru
Joined: 9/10/2010
Msg: 14
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 1/26/2011 11:19:02 AM
Yea, I think they do go to your spouse and kids, whatever . . under the intestacy laws of almost all states. They may be divided by different percentages of who gets what, but your spouse and kids will get before your sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, and even parents. It is very important that everybody have a living will, so families don't have to guess whether you want all those expensive life saving measures that do nothing for your quality of life, and everybody have a will, expressing their decisions about who should manage their estate, who should get their assets, who should take care of their children if need be, etc. And keep of list of your assets, where located, land holding, brokerage accounts, life insurance policies. Try to make it easier on those you leave behind.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 16
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 1/31/2011 4:00:50 PM
one of my large concerns about what happens to my "things" when I die is ... who's going to get the computer and, thereby, have access to everything I've thought in the past decade or so that's stored there!! ... all my letters, comments, etc., conveniently stored in my computer ...

if I had an expiration date stamped on the bottom of my foot, I'd know when to clean out all that stuff! as it is ... I want it now for reference ... I may decide to write my biography someday and will need my life's notes!!!

I'm not worried about the stuff that's stored on the hard drive that only a professional could get ... no one would care about that ... I'm concerned that I might write that "so and so was so mean today ... I'll never forgive her" ... die that afternoon ... and then that very relative is the one who gets my computer equipment and reads it!

as for the rest of my "things" ... I've spelled that out in my will ... jewelry, property, etc. ... but ... SOMEONE is going to have to go through all this junk!

my condolences to that person!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 17
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/2/2011 4:02:06 PM
My mom has some of her ducks lining up.

She had all her paperwork in order, however when it came choosing a place when she got older ... it was too late, as she had Alzheimer's. I went though her belongings and found an excessive amount of junk.

That was left to me to clean, organize and get rid off.

That really pushed me to organize all my belongings.

So yup, all my paperwork is in order, my stuff is organized, and I have a booklet on my desk that says ...

"If I die, do this"

Keep it simple.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 18
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/2/2011 10:05:58 PM
I did up a will around age 35 actually - I own a house, it seemed like a good thing to do to cover how things get distributed. Probably should review it again, now that its going on 12 years later.

As to "leaving Susie the silver, Mikey the motorcycle", etc... nah, that's up to them - quite honestly they probably don't want most of what I have anyways - it'll be a big estate sale and selling the house, and they'll get their shares.

Now, my parents have a living will... pretty straightforward division - but quite honestly I already know the rest of us really don't care about 'who gets what' - other than my sister... my parents aren't even dead (and hopefully have another decade at least) and she's already putting "dibs" on things she wants when they die. And, well, the rest of us would probably just say "you want it that badly, go for it". Only thing I'd really want is some old photo's (memories), and I'd even take scans of those and she can have the originals. Of course, they named me executor, so I'm gonna have to put up with the bulk of her BS.
 wayfarer4you
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 19
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/8/2011 2:43:36 AM
yes a ready to go as can be .
Army will shake and bake me
will to make sure the kids are set
living will ,just in case also my D.N.R 's (life support sucks)
and my bike's will go to a teacher who teaches kids how to work on bike's (Mr baas you rock)
anything else ,? who cares the parties paid for and the drinks are on me and don't forget the toast " heres to those who know me well and to the rest you can all go to h_ll .
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 21
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/9/2011 5:41:50 PM
haven't been on here for quite a while, but this is a good topic. it amazes me how many people go through life w/o a will or trust or better yet, no naming of those who would take their children if they died! many end up in foster care. i know as a fost/adopt mom.

i share molly maude's concerns about leaving a paper trail. lately, i've been cleaning up my act. erasing emails, etc. but, on a funnier note, my friend's sister went to close their father's estate and to her dismay got a note from sis saying "boy, did you know dad was well hung?". seems that dad left the porno films he and his partner took together. so, funny, but scary people.

my ducks have always been in place. got disablity insurance when i was in my 30's and it has saved my life over the past 15 years with lymes. always had a trust. but now, my concerns are very very serious. i had a good friend, or so i thought as my executor. loaned her some money, having always done that with friends in the past. off she went with it and haven't heard from her since. finding a new executor is not easy. plus, i have unique medical concerns and finding that person to represent me is also a big problem. the ones who would know what to do work in the industry and have "conflict of interest". my best friend since i moved here moved back to portugal. many of my friends would not do well as executors. i am the grounded one. also, most of my friends now are "new" as i've moved a lot.

back home fifteen years ago, it was never a problem. but, for old friends who slowly drift, it would be hard for them to come here. as for my kids (all just starting out on their own in their early 20's), my eldest has possibility, but she is too entangled in her own financial messes for me to totally trust her at this point. although, i would put her on the "team".

so yes, that part is really scary for me and am working on it diligently. for now, appointing someone i trust but who is not savvy and getting her the professional backup to carry out my wishes. i do have one male buddy who is pretty savvy, but he has admitted that he would not carry out some of what i ask him to do. so, i will not be asking him. plus, i would prefer a female, since no husband at the time, to rifle through my personal things.

then of course there are the animals....old old...working on that with my vet. the possessions, as long as they go to someone who needs them, it's fine with me. for me, it's the living breathing things and the relationships i want to leave in a good way, plus hopefully what is left of my "assets" will be put to good use. all my kids have special needs trusts.
 Socalguy1962
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 22
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/9/2011 7:43:51 PM
I've worked in the Middle East off and on the last few years, so yes, i have my Will all drawn up and Power of Attorney executed.

It's always good to have your affairs somewhat in order, since you just never know when the Grim Reaper will appear. As one poster mentioned be careful whom you give these powers to. I had a bad Power of Attorney experience as well. I got screwed over by someone i had trusted. It was a hard lesson learned. Just be very careful whom you trust to look over your affairs.
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 24
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 2/10/2011 8:17:01 PM
American Express travelers checks you can spend them any damned place...
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 29
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 9:10:19 AM

The will is in the bank vault, copy with sole heir and executor.


Buttttt...won't the bank require a probate document to allow your administrator to open the bank vault (safty deposit box)???

Medical directive...medical power of attorney....healthcare appointee...pretty important stuff unless you want to be breathing thru a tube...pee'ing into a bag...and pooping into a diaper at the end.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 30
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 9:31:31 AM

Buttttt...won't the bank require a probate document to allow your administrator to open the bank vault (safty deposit box)???

I would suspect that the sole heir and executor has been designated as the "secondary" person who has access to the bank vault and/or safe deposit box. If this is not the case, I would suggest that the "sole heir and executor", with permission, retrieve the Will and other pertinent documents from the safe deposit location and put same in his/her own safe depository. When I worked in the legal field, this is what was recommended at the time of exeuction of the Will and/or Codicil and other end of life documents - never have your own Will/Codicil in your own safe deposit box.

As for the medical directive, power of attorney, etc. that is usually drafted and executed at the same time as the Will and kept in safekeeping in the same location as the Will.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 31
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 9:37:24 AM

As for the medical directive, power of attorney, etc. that is usually drafted and executed at the same time as the Will and kept in safekeeping in the same location as the Will.


Yep, if you ask for them, then they are drafted at the same time as a will...and if you don't ask for them???then your real estate/criminal/civil/juvenile matter attorney doesn't know that you want them.


I would suspect that the sole heir and executor has been designated as the "secondary" person who has access to the bank vault and/or safe deposit box.


I would suspect that anyone or no one is listed, and has a key, to the safty deposit box...btw...without the key...they drill the box...and charge the depositor...

the bank vault...LMAO...ummm...only the bank officials have access to.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 32
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 10:55:30 AM

Yep, if you ask for them, then they are drafted at the same time as a will...and if you don't ask for them???then your real estate/criminal/civil/juvenile matter attorney doesn't know that you want them.

Most lawyers nowadays are very well versed in the fact that other documents are most often required in addition to the Will and would counsel their client of the importance of these other documents at the time they are taking instructions for the Will. I cannot imagine a lawyer not doing so especially when more documents drafted for the client would mean more revenue for the lawyer.


then your real estate/criminal/civil/juvenile matter attorney doesn't know that you want them.

I would be skeptical of a "real estate/criminal/civil/juvenile matter attorney" drafting testamentary documents and if you chose to have them draft those types of documents......well........ you'd get what you deserved.


the bank vault...LMAO...ummm...only the bank officials have access to.

Ummm, then why did YOU use the term "bank vault" in your previous post which is reproduced below for your ease of reference?

Quoting bigbadirish:
I would suspect that the sole heir and executor has been designated as the "secondary" person who has access to the bank vault and/or safe deposit box


I don't know how the banks in the USA operate, but here in Canada there are two keys to each safe deposit box. Both keys are the same - one key is held by the "renter" of the safe deposit box and the second key is in the possession of the bank. I have never heard of a bank drilling a safe deposit box to open it. Gee, why not use dynamite to blast it open....much more effective!
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 35
As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 3:07:59 PM

would be skeptical of a "real estate/criminal/civil/juvenile matter attorney" drafting testamentary documents and if you chose to have them draft those types of documents......well........ you’d get what you deserved.


The funny thing is not many hometown attorneys, or for that matter city attorneys, turn away anything that smells of revenue…even if they don’t really know what should be done…and they don’t draft anything…they put ones wishes into boiler-plate docs…


I don't know how the banks in the USA operate, but here in Canada there are two keys to each safe deposit box. Both keys are the same - one key is held by the "renter" of the safe deposit box and the second key is in the possession of the bank. I have never heard of a bank drilling a safe deposit box to open it. Gee, why not use dynamite to blast it open....much more effective!


My dad lost his key...and that's what happened...they drilled the lock and he paid for it….the point is don’t put your will in your safety deposit box.


Quoting bigbadirish:
I would suspect that the sole heir and executor has been designated as the "secondary" person who has access to the bank vault and/or safe deposit box


Ummm...that's actually your comment I quoted...maybe you don't remember writing it???

Perhaps what you meant to quote was:



The will is in the bank vault, copy with sole heir and executor.


Buttttt...won't the bank require a probate document to allow your administrator to open the bank vault (safety deposit box)???


My experience is that few have their ducks in a row…everyone can wait till 30 seconds before they actually need a will, advanced directive, medical POA, healthcare proxy…

“I will live till I’m X because my mother, father, grandparents did.” Is what I hear from so many folks…and I think: “well, maybe…”

 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 37
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As a Senior Are Your Ducks in a Row?
Posted: 4/11/2011 6:46:36 PM

My experience is that few have their ducks in a row…everyone can wait till 30 seconds before they actually need a will, advanced directive, medical POA, healthcare proxy…

“I will live till I’m X because my mother, father, grandparents did.” Is what I hear from so many folks…and I think: “well, maybe…”

And then you have people like some of my family who get everything lined up - then change it at least every month.

Besides, different states have different laws.
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