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 AUTHOR
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
How would you handle this?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
That must have been humiliating.

If someone acted that rudely to another individual, it would make me think that they would also do that to me. So ... I would have left.

See them again?
Nope ... done ... over ... goodbye.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 7
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/26/2011 1:26:41 PM
Were you the couple that had their stuff on the chair?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 11
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/26/2011 2:22:20 PM

The person was a lady


Was she at the age of being menopausal?

I've seen some pretty weird things at this stage.

It's no excuse mind you.

Seems like the male part is used to this type of behaviour and is lacking the balls to say or do something about it.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 12
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/26/2011 3:49:07 PM

The person was a lady and not my date.

That person was a woman, not a lady. Some women do not deserve the title.

I pity the poor fella who didn't have the way or the guts to run out there and then.

 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 14
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/26/2011 10:33:40 PM
....so the restaurant only provided one chair for a table for two? What sort of restaurant was it?

Did she get the chair or another chair? She sounds like an attention grabber to me. Wow! poor guy. How embarassing for him.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 15
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/26/2011 11:41:21 PM
This is truly bizarre. I agree with ^^^^^ what's the deal, were there no chairs at her table? Did she want an extra chair to put her purse? Did she want the baby chair?

OP, you really failed to give us the details to determine if this woman was in desperation or just nutty. Maybe she asked 3 times for a chair, but the staff ignored her. Maybe her boyfriend took the only chair, and the opposite seat was booth-type bench that runs along an entire wall - and she didn't want to sit there.

Your story is like someone running up to a 3-car wreck and pointing to the chick on the curb with the short skirt. Hey! Facts, please....???
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18
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History
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/27/2011 9:33:10 AM
My ex-wife would do that sort of thing, though not exactly that. It was a part of her being bipolar. Obviously, the woman you witnessed was mentally off in some way, or was fresh out of a very frightening experience. People who have been through something terrifying, and destructive of their sense of confidence that the universe makes sense, can go through times when they behave like that, until they recover. Others are always like that.
When I was still with my ex (for 20 years), I had to deal with scenes like that on occasion. Since I knew why she was like that, and that it wasn't because she was a BAD PERSON, I tolerated it, and worked to try to help her through enough healing to stop it. But after 20 years (extended by having children to raise), I was confronted with the reality one day, that NONE of the apparent progress she'd appeared to have been making for all that time was real.
Anyway, in this case, you were just a momentary onlooker. There are a number of possible reasons why she acted that way at that moment. Perhaps just before entering the restaurant, she learned that her husband was cheating on her, or that he'd lost his job, or some other traumatic thing. It's common for people to lash out at anyone who seems to be "taking advantage" when they feel attacked in other ways. Perhaps the person with her was, as I often was, caring for someone he knew to be injured, so he stayed and made the best of things.
Life for a lot of us is not a straight-forward matter of selecting perfect or near-perfect people to be with, and to love. So simply dumping someone and walking away isn't always the obvious choice at all.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 19
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/27/2011 11:25:38 AM
I think Mr Frankensteen makes an excellent point. It's very easy for us, in a forum of this nature, to speculate and second guess. But no one truly knows the mind of another person. Although certainly embarrassing to witness, there might have been extenuating circumstances that we can't be aware of.

How about a little compassion instead of judging?
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 22
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/27/2011 1:49:37 PM
To ray of moonlight... Sir, I was not suggesting that arrogant, obnoxious or bullying behavior be condoned. And I certainly didn't mean to suggest that anyone should date such a person. My only point was that we can never be sure about anyone's reasons for behaving as they do... and it behooves us not to assume or to jump to conclusions.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 27
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History
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/28/2011 4:15:25 AM
I just want to re-emphasize that my answer was based on the facts given, which were from the point of view of an ONLOOKER to the incident, and NOT of either of the participants. I was pointing out that though the behavior as witnessed was certainly terrible, that neither we here, NOR the OP actually had any pertinent information required to MAKE a realistic judgment about the person described.
And by the way, this was [again] the WOMAN in the observed couple behaving this way.
It is a contradiction for someone to say that someone with mental challenges shouldn't be tolerated, and should be judged by the same standards as someone without them.
Had I MYSELF been the woman, confronted with selfish other patrons, I would NOT have done as she did, mainly because I learned when I was still a relatively young child that fussing at strangers never works out in my favor. That she didn't realize this, suggests she had a problem of some sort, that (yes) included "just being a bytchyist," but that as ONLOOKERS, we have no reason to take a side.
Given my experience dealing with my ex, if I had been the MALE who was going out WITH that woman, I would have gently done my best to get through the rest of the evening with her, calm her down, and apologized to the selfish folks who refused to give up using a chair for their fricken COATS. I then would probably have not wanted to go out with that woman again, as I already served 20 years with someone like that, and don't want to repeat it. But if I WITNESSED such a situation, I would ignore it, unless I was in a qualified position (such as owning the restaurant) that I could step in and BOTH tell the selfish jerks to park their coats elsewhere, AND deflect this obviously disturbed woman to another part of the place.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 29
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/28/2011 12:27:50 PM

Would you stay to have dinner with this person?Would you run for the hills?If you would stay for dinner would you ever want to see that person again?


It depends on who it is.

If it were my date, provided I had my own transportation, I would say, "Sorry, I can't do this." and walk out for good. I have a low-tolerance for rudeness from a date.

If it were my boss or a client that made a scene, I'd stay, but attempt to placate them and calm them down.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 31
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/28/2011 1:05:02 PM
I don't appreciate public scenes at all.
There may be a reason for it, but I think they're
best handled outside, not sure why others need to
be subjected to rudeness. Take it outside, straighten
it out, then come back in.

I don't get why parents don't take their screaming
kids out of stores or restaurants or why couples think
everyone is interested in their drama.

I can see that it might be inappropriate to have a chair for
your coats when chairs are at a premium, but I wouldn't
get in a screaming match for it. I'd just ask someone that
works there to handle it.

And no, I wouldn't want to hang around someone that thought
public drama was something everyone participated in.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 36
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 3:36:01 AM
I'd be mortified if a woman did that on a date. Arguably, I *might* still stay for dinner, but no way in hell there would be a 2nd date.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 37
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 4:52:40 AM

Huh? How is this woman poor?,and how is this man an a$$?


The reason the man is the azz is because of how you snuck details in after the fact...I read the OPost and thought you were speaking about a man as well...untill you clarified this in post #6.


There was a rack but no more room and each table have four chairs to it.The couple who was harassed by the bully woman only had three chairs at their table so it's not like they were hogging chairs..


LOL...as I was reading about how this restaurant was the self seat kind...my thoughts went to little hole in the wall cafe` style..with 2 chairs per table...so, under that pretex...where I walk in and the table has 3 chairs right next to mine that only has 1...well, I might be a little miffed too....but, again, the way your letting this story unfold by telling people they are off base because the facts aren't what we're "lead" to believe is a bit unfair…it took until post #45 to get this detail in.

So, there are 4 chairs...now...and the person who's ranting is a woman.


It's a very casual place.You seat yourself and chairs were moved all over the place.It was dinner hour so it was pretty full.She never bothered to ask the staff for another chair just went up to that table and demanded it almost as soon as she walked in.

Yes she got another chair because all of her screaming and cursing made everyone come running.They just gave her a chair that was up against the wall.


I'm getting confused....the couple that were being screamed at had 1 extra chair that they had their coats on...but, there are 4 chairs per table so now they have 5???

The woman who was screaming was at a table that had 3 chairs but no 4th...and that's why she was screaming..


You go into a restaurant and your date demands a chair from a table near yours that is already occupied by another couple.They are using the free chair to put their coats on and say no,but your date starts a fight with them calling them insulting names and generally making a big scene.


But, the OPost makes it sound like there's only 2 chairs per table…the mystery of how many chairs does it take to make a woman scream continues.

 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 38
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 4:58:29 AM

the mystery of how many chairs does it take to make a woman scream continues.


That's easy... one less than she apparently thinks she's "entitled" to.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 40
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 4:12:17 PM

I'd be mortified if a woman did that on a date. Arguably, I *might* still stay for dinner, but no way in hell there would be a 2nd date.


I'd be exactly the same if my male date behaved like that.

I hope my input here isn't considered "bumping" this thread but once, I also witnessed an awful scene, by a lady in a very posh restaurant......... candle light etc.

They had a table for two, the waitress sat them down but later this lady started yelling at her partner to swap seats. He refused and she jumped up out of her chair knocking it backwards onto the floor. She was red with rage. He whispered to her to calm down and that people were looking.

They were arguing about other stuff and she slammed her wine glass so hard on the table that it broke. Red wine went everywhere and some of it splashed onto my foot.

The man grabbed his coat, apologised to me and my date, shook my date's hand, put a fifty dollar note on our table and walked out.

He left her with the bill and the cleaning up afterwards. Serves her right!
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 42
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 4:31:59 PM

The topic of this thread was "how would you handle this situation".If you truly feel that you can't answer the question then don't bother posting.It's simple.

Yours,and another's,intention is simply to troll and pick fights I am not going to oblige.Have a wonderful day


I get it...you were the lady in the restaurant....you had me stumped with all those late details.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 44
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/29/2011 10:12:54 PM
To Ray of moonlight... I am so embarrassed! Please forgive me... I noticed the "Ray" and just assumed it was Raymond.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 46
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/30/2011 6:42:24 AM

I picture this as a rowdy, free-for-all type of place where patrons have to fight for seating; not very appealing. One where the wait staff is in fear of the customers.


I am so appalled...OP...has never said such things...yet...

As I read thru the thread I first imagined this quaint place...a little bistro...round tables with checkered table cloth, 2 chairs per...and thought this guy...oops..not a guy...woman ask's for her tables chair back...is denied...then takes off on the other couple...

It's not a quaint little bistro...

So, now it seems as if this woman and her date pull up to a table that is suppose to have 4 chairs but only has one chair at it...and immediately she starts yelling at the people with 3 chairs in use next to them...while there are empty chairs available within sight.


Apparently because the OP was the person who refused to give up the chair she had her coat on. She came on here seeking validation for her part in the melee.
Anyone who does not see it her way is trolling


I just don't know what to say...I just counted and it took 7 posts from OPie to let us know the tables had 4 chairs...and I'm still really confused about why people would pull up to a table with 1 chair and yell at a table that has 3 chairs with all those other tables with 5 and 6 chairs all around...You see...I have this little problem with answering a loaded question with confusing details dripping in...so, if OP doesn't like people making observations about the OPost and subsequent data that OP provides without "answering the question" and calls such people names...well, then OP...please be so kind as to let us know what really went on at this free for all, all you can eat, buffet style restaurant....because the little tidbits of info fed to we forum coniseur's doesn't taste quite right.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 48
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/30/2011 11:02:08 AM
How would I handle it?
I'd have gone and gotten a chair from another table for my badly behaving lunch companion, gotten thru the lunch, and then gone home for some serious soul searching as to how the HELL I wound up in the middle of such a scene, and firmly resolve to try and find a better class of losers to hang out with.
If I was the person whose coat was occupying a needed chair, I would have removed the coats and put it/them on the backs of the chairs we were sitting on. After all chairs are to set butts in, not coats. The argument would never have happened. For all I know, the person wanting that chair may be on the verge of collapsing, and unable to wait for staff to bring another chair,or walk any further to get one. OR, the other person with the irate chair-demanding lady could have gone and gotten her one.

What it sounds like is that 2 or more people experiencing a bad day happened to cross paths and purposes, resulting in an unpleasant scene. IMO the only party in this scenario who wasn't at least partly "in the wrong" was the mouse over in the far corner of the room.
It was a bit of an imposition for the woman to demand a chair that was already in use as a coat rack, but not completely unreasonable, why risk a scene that undoubtedly had an unpleasant impact on EVERYBODY'S enjoyment of their meals?
Cindy O
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 49
How would you handle this?
Posted: 3/30/2011 1:25:44 PM
If she was like this on a first date, imagine when you two get to know each other. This person is going to be hell to live with and will create drama out of every single situation that you will be with.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 52
How would you handle this?
Posted: 2/15/2012 11:56:54 AM

If a guy can be that nasty to a complete stranger


Ummm...that guy was a she.
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