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 destiny1972
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 1
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?Page 1 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
I recently was in a relationship with someone who had Borderline personality and it was quite the roller coaster ride. The push and pull and the acting out and triggers really did some damage to our relationship. I love this person for who they were and accepted them and learned about their illness. One minute they love you the next minute their pushing you out the door. Can anybody share their expriences with their borderline relationship. Did it get better or worse?
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/27/2011 8:56:15 PM
Can anybody share their expriences with their borderline relationship. Did it get better or worse?


It gets much better when you leave.. And when you finally realize that their cyclical personality changes were not at all your fault..
There are now some medications that help smooth some of those moods..
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 3
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/27/2011 9:00:15 PM

Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Op maybe one of the thread I listed below will give you the info you need. I got nothing on this.


http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5940102.aspx

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1078702.aspx


http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13152261.aspx
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 4
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/27/2011 11:42:51 PM
I'm with tall-iq. It only gets better when you leave!
I suppose if the Meds work AND they stay on them they could be tolerable....problem is when they're in their "mode" they go off the Meds.... one would think if they just stayed on the Meds there would be no more "modes" but it doesn't seem that easy.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 5
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 3:57:04 AM
these people are not emotionally, psychologically, or neurologically equipped to be successfully engaged in a long-term relationship. sometimes, even a short-term one. well, that pretty much covers all the bases doesn't it. for the duration, you will merely be tolerating the condition and (if you're lucky) managing the symptoms. some people are willing to do that... i am not. i dated a man with a cyclothymic disorder for a couple of years. he is a good person but.... never again. like jack nicholson said, "i'd rather stick NEEDLES in my EYES." relationships are challenging enough as it is with normal people. who wants to sign up for a demented roller-coaster ride? i don't think so!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 4:00:56 AM
It didn't change, in my case.

Borderline personality is a "label diagnosis" problem, like bipolar disease, or sexual addition, or any number of things. That means that doctors can NOT do a biological test and confirm it, and that no one can predict how it will progress, or even if it will. Someone can be labeled "borderline personality" today, by one set of psychs, and be labeled "bipolar" by the next, and labeled something else by another. Many biological things can cause the appearance of such a disorder (brain-related problems), and as time goes by, the biology can change and get better or worse, or even just differently bad.
I went twenty years with someone who was variously described as BPD or bipolar, and they seemed to get better with expensive counselling and medication...only to repeatedly lapse back to exactly where they were before.
 ALMOSTABLONDE
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 7
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 5:07:54 AM

these people are not emotionally, psychologically, or neurologically equipped to be successfully engaged in a long-term relationship. sometimes, even a short-term one. well, that pretty much covers all the bases doesn't it. for the duration, you will merely be tolerating the condition and (if you're lucky) managing the symptoms. some people are willing to do that... i am not. i dated a man with a cyclothymic disorder for a couple of years. he is a good person but.... never again. like jack nicholson said, "i'd rather stick NEEDLES in my EYES." relationships are challenging enough as it is with normal people. who wants to sign up for a demented roller-coaster ride? i don't think so!

many of them are on the internet another reason why i have backed off of things
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 8
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 6:46:22 AM
My sister has this. When she was younger, the psych doctors called it bipolar, more recently their best guess was BPD. My understanding is that BPD is not treatable with meds but there is some success with cognitive talk therapies. There is very often co-existing problems with substance abuse. In my sister's case, she's in complete denial that there's anything wrong with her (everyone else is crazy) and she won't get help. This makes her toxic to be around. She's never been capable of holding down a job or a relationship for longer than a few months. I can't begin to tell you the amount of stress she's caused me, my parents, and anyone else she's been involved with.

Now, having said that, I know there are others who acknowledge that they are ill, and are willing to get help, so the outcome might be better for them and those around them.

I see this thread is about to be deleted for being redundant........ oh well........easy come, easy go....... OP didn't do a thread search I guess.....
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 9
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 12:44:50 PM
Almostablond.....

I agree with you! I am attracted to them, or they are attracted to me - whatever, there seem to be many around especially on this site -
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 10
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/28/2011 1:39:39 PM
Those that do suffer from this, can hide behind their computer, enter places like this site, and do their thing. unfortunately for all of us, to many exist when it comes to on line and we all suffer the consequences.

Maybe that is why many of us do not take dating sites seriously, and if we happen to meet anyone.....it becomes nothing more than a meet and greet with no expectations other than having another friend.

cd........
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 11
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 6:21:07 AM

These people are not emotionally, psychologically, or neurologically equipped to be successfully engaged in a long-term relationship. sometimes, even a short-term one.


This is very true; they can be very charming, exciting, etc. but their mental disorder makes it nearly impossible to have a normal, stable relationship.


I dated a man with a cyclothymic disorder for a couple of years. he is a good person but.... never again. like jack nicholson said, "i'd rather stick NEEDLES in my EYES." relationships are challenging enough as it is with normal people. who wants to sign up for a demented roller-coaster ride? i don't think so!


I dated a man that was ADHD and bipolar for a few years. He's not a bad person but I'd never date someone with those issues ever again; I'm just not capable of dealing with all the nonstop chaos and drama that these people bring into a relationship, medicated or not. As said above, it's difficult enough having a relationship with normal people let alone trying to be in a relationship with someone who's mentally/emotionally unstable.
 blueceleste
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 12
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 10:00:00 AM
hmm, yes i think i dated someone who had BP. she was something else nothing but a pathological liar! it was short term which was really sad but had to end it because she was draining me.
 Thundercloud111
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 13
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 7:23:49 PM
I haven't dated one but my sister has Borderline Personality Disorder. I shiver when I see that creedo of "I hate you, don't leave me!" The real problem is that my sister doesn't suffer from Borderline for as long as the people around her suffer from Borderline for her. She can smell and hone in on a caring instinct aka codependent slave like a shark smelling blood in the water. She finds the most sweetest of the sweet peas to devour whole. It got too awful to watch for me. She hates that I won't have anything to do with her. She gets furious that I identify with the MANY victims as much as she tries to sway me and more like goad or guilt me into another round of thank you ma'am, may I have another smack?

I would really truly recommend that you RUN for your life, don't look back, or down! Run while you still can! My sister had two boyfriends off themselves and she dated the one married sheriff who investigated the one suicide. She would never tell you that but I will to hopefully get through to you why Borderlines are called Borderlines. They seem so sweet and pitiful. Passable as people but they do not have any empathy for others. They are Not as full blown as a Charles Manson or Ted Bundy type of sociopath. It's a different kind of poison. Like arsenic as opposed to cyanide. Does it really matter because it is just as lethal? Aileen Wuornos, Carla Homolka, and Leslie Van Houten are Borderline Personality Disorders. They don't SEEM as bad for you but they are as bad for you and in many ways worse because they are so good at appearing like good little girls/boys lost. *shivers* RUN! Beware of little boy blue or little bo peep! RUN!
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 14
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 10:24:41 PM

They seem so sweet and pitiful


My sister exactly - until you dare to have an opinion that contradicts hers - then she will stop at nothing to destroy you. It's a very black and white way of thinking, a very Jekyll/Hyde personality. I can't let her know where I work or who my friends are. I learned that the hard way.

The posters who commented that there are a lot of them online............ shudder........in that case I guess it's just as well that I've all but retired from online dating. They seem so normal when you meet them. If only they foamed at the mouth or talked to themselves..... but they are often very charming.
 zenarcade
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 15
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 10:36:46 PM
Yes, and it was someone I met here. Yikes. Started very well and went downhill from there.

You can read about it a bit at automaticftp.wordpress.com
 GingersnapWA2
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 16
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/29/2011 11:00:36 PM
One of my exes had BPD, though I had no idea at the time. My advice is Run Like Hell. It won't get better; You will just get dragged deeper into their drama. And ask yourself, Why would you even Want to get involved with someone whom you can't trust to tell the truth?
 Thundercloud111
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 17
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 3/30/2011 6:43:57 AM

It's a very black and white way of thinking, a very Jekyll/Hyde personality


Ugh, I wish my sister would join a cult and go to prison. Most of them are a danger to their household hostages and family members. By cutting them off they stand a better chance of lashing out at complete strangers where they will go to jail for one tenth of the things they do to family and close friends.
 SweetGuyinPa
Joined: 4/15/2010
Msg: 18
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/4/2011 6:47:28 PM
I agree, Thundercloud. A girl I as dating is like that, a horror show.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 19
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 1:39:29 AM
I once briefly dated someone who said he had been diagnosed with this. I think he was telling me the truth.

He was a really fun guy to spend time with, but, one problem, and it was over. No discussion, nothing. Just - cut off. I mean he did bother to say so, but that was it.

We hadn't had enough time together for this to hurt much, except, I'd grown attached to his pets, two dogs and two cats, all thoroughly loveable and charming.

I still miss them.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 20
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 7:17:33 AM
Oh yeah - I took a ride on that crazy train a couple years ago. I'll walk next time, thanks.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 21
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 10:42:05 AM

I dated a man that was ADHD and bipolar for a few years. He's not a bad person but I'd never date someone with those issues ever again; I'm just not capable of dealing with all the nonstop chaos and drama that these people bring into a relationship, medicated or not. As said above, it's difficult enough having a relationship with normal people let alone trying to be in a relationship with someone who's mentally/emotionally unstable.


I lived with a woman that was diagnosed ADHD, but also that to take medication for depression. I also believe that she was bipolar, but did not have a diagnosis for that because she also went through Breast Cancer, Chemo and Roid Rage, hormone medications.

So I ask? Or want to share what are their behaviors? In my relationship, everything was a roller coaster of super happy to then almost violently negative and destructive. She was never satisfied about anything. She would engage in an activity compulsively without stopping and doing anything else, and when she was finished criticized the world when other had to then be too busy with work, or with something else.

The negativity was so amazing and it created so much unnecessary stress.

So how did you guys managed to live with these people? Was there a cycle?
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 22
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Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 11:18:40 AM
Destiny:

If someone tells you they have been diagnosed with BPD that means they meet the criteria, one of which is a history of unstable relationships; the key word being "history" ; many lost relationships over a period of time. This doesn't even have to mean romantic relationships, it includes family and friends. That love you/hate you scenario is a hallmark of the disorder. For most with BPD, they can seem better at times, and it can last for long periods but relapse easily if they are under any stress.

Wish things were different? sure. Miss him? sounds like it... but you made the best decision for yourself. You knew you could not do this with him long term, don't feel guilty about your choice.

What you should know is that regardless of who ended it, he will probably try to get back in your good graces. Make a decision and be prepared when that happens.

~Good Luck~
 kayla1963
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 23
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 1:37:03 PM
I have dated several guys with a marginal personality!
 NewToTN9
Joined: 11/12/2010
Msg: 24
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 5:35:10 PM
Ahh, Borderline Personality Disorder!! I have not dated a person with this disorder my friend is in a relationship with a woman who has this diagnosis! The only thing you can do OP is to walk from the situation. As some posters already mentioned, there is no treatment for it (and many dr refuse to treat it due to the volitale personality of the patient). This disorder make bi-polar look like childs play, so run Forrest run!!
 LONLEEnBLU
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 25
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 11:32:31 PM
Yes I did and lived to regret it. Not sure if it was borderline or bipolar or multipolar, but I did date someone who was not all there, and his moods would go up and down like a yo-yo and I ended up tip-toeing around fearing that if I say the wrong word he would sink to some depressive abyss never to come up again.
When he was ok he was ok for short bursts, but as the time went by it became too hard for me to put up with his elevator mood. He blamed other people parents, siblings, teachers, employers whoever, for everything wrong in his life and craved attention like a five year old. Charming as he was in the beginning he didn't last very long.
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