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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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sexual anhedoniaPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
WHY are you asking? Of course someone has had the experience, otherwise there wouldn't be a name for it to PUT in Wikipedia.
Since this is the clinical term for "not having any fun doing something that used to be fun," it's going to have a very broad application. Any time someone has been too bummed out, or depressed, or sad, or angry, or bored, or old, to have fun having sex, it's called sexual anhedonia. It's just a fancy name for it, it isn't a specific disease with a prognosis.
 Ailliss
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 4
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/17/2011 11:22:56 PM

the reason i ask is because im kinda curious if maybe i have it


Sorry to hear that, OP. But at your young age what makes you think this? Perhaps it is your choice in partners that has caused you to feel this way. Have you been with women that make you feel like the most desirable man in the world? Sometimes if your partner is less than enthusiastic it may spoil the experience for you as well.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 6
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/18/2011 4:38:48 AM
I bet if you check the sex forums you will find some advise on it unless you are using ora jel on your member.

That's not for sex lube ya know.


its to the point that ive said sex is basically the last thing i would put on a list of enjoyable things , even urinating feel many times better than sex or orgasm.


Go to a urologist or your family practionioner.
You may have something WRONG physically. JMO
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:07:41 AM
Excellent advice from Petunia. That is why I was asking you to clarify the reason for your question.
Definitely check out physical causes first, as you will find by googling the condition, there are a number of possibilities. Psychological concerns would be next to investigate.
But it could also simply be that so far, the sex you have had, was under conditions, and with people you were uncomfortable with. Since you have the urge itself, that would suggest you HAVE correctly identified your sexual orientation, and that it's a matter of working out the best circumstances and personal chemistry of your matching person.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/18/2011 2:38:41 PM
It could be anything. YOu need to provide us more information. It could be that you play too many video games and are used to the constant action (and gratification) and hyper-focus that it requires. While sex, is something that is requires that you relax, that you read your partner, and your partner tries to read you.

Go down on your girl, then ask her if she enjoys going down. Make sure she orgasms and after that find different ways to make her orgasm. Try to bring that sense of thrill that you had on the games, but now with a real person.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 10
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/18/2011 3:39:45 PM

yea soon as i get me some of that there health insurance i plan on getting checked out. i honestly think its a dopamine issue. lol wonder if i can get some prescription ecstasy


Call and get a price for a check up if you really want to know, as most doctors will take payments.

Unless this was just a troll post to get comments like outminds.
Like me highly suspects..

 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 11
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/18/2011 6:55:23 PM
Everytime I scroll through the topics, I initially think this says something about "anaconda".
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 12
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/19/2011 6:04:35 AM
^^^^^^^ Same thing happened to me!!! I was half-hoping that it would be about JayLo and her redoubtable ass subduing that humongous South American mutant snake that Jon Voight wanted for his very own. Lol

But I don't fault the OP for launching this deceptively titled thread- he's at the front end of a learning curve that'll probably get steeper as his sexual hypersensitivity maybe heads the other way. Curiousity should be fed, rewarded, lest it, too, wanes. jmho And the same goes for new discussion threads. The POF bosses, like that snake J-Lo fights, seem to be constricting the Forums, trying to choke out these discussions (no more access from the home page, and you gotta know how to find them to get to them), when they are, in my opinion, what makes the site attractive.

Still, woulda been way more fun to talk about some goddess wrestling with and subduing a giant snake. lol
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/19/2011 8:35:02 AM

ive already gone the therapy route with no luck. masturbation is something i do, but not really enjoy.


So you went to a professional and that didn't work, so you are hoping that us arm chair psychotherapist play monday night quarterbacking and elucidate your issue?

Do you think that is going to happen.

Maybe. Be thankful of how opinionated, stubborn, and some times nasty the commentary gets here, so everyone and then you get lightning rod.

I am going to make a confession to you. When I first started having sex it was more of a conquest, more of this is what you did to score and quite frankly a woman's vagina was a mystery that it took me, being a long term relationship to understand.

First of all it was all this hair, and we didn't have the luxury that we have now, where it's okay to talk about oral, from a man as well as a woman's pov. Masturbation was a taboo. If you were a man, you didn't do that. Bad, bad, bad. So in those early years, I didn't even like porn. But I loved erotica and it was through that I began to understand the beauty of the female body. I had to learn that it was not about that sense of scoring, but about that sense of togetherness. So I began to shave my partner, and we were involved in long sessions of foreplay. We even talked about our crazy phantasies, about doing it in public, about going to Victoria's Secrets and buying her stuff and she would tell me what we would do in public.

It worked for me.

Now it could be that you don't know what turns you on. Then write down the things that do. Be brutally honest to yourself. Then look at things that turn you off. Be brutally honest to yourself. Try to remember as you were growing up, events that you found humiliating, or that annoyed you, or something. It could be in the end that you simply have a very low libido. It could be that something happened growing up that totally annoyed you, from seeing something that scared you, to experiencing that something yourself.

There are many answers. First of all you need to ask yourself. Do you find women attractive? Do they turn you on? Be honest to yourself here. Not us. What type of person do you find attractive? You need to do a check list of these things.

Now think of this, what has given you a hard on before? Think and be honest to yourself. If nothing gives you a hard on, there you go, low libido. If something has given you a hard on, then start understanding that. And go from there.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 18
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/19/2011 12:52:54 PM

eason i made the topic was not so much to get a solution for myself, but to see how the situation has impacted others. if they had found some way to fix themselves then it would be possible start point for me, great. but not the main focus lol


Cut the boloney kid. It is easy to defect the issue by saying that it's for all scientific dialogue. And I would believe that if the problem was someone else, but it's a problem that seems to afflict you.

So you can get aroused but not feel pleasure. Pleasure in what sense. Get off. Of pleasure and enjoyment. When I see and incredible concert I feel a lot of pleasure. When I see a good movie I can feel that pleasure. It is an emotion of well being, happiness. Are you not capable of feeling that.

Interestingly enough if I compare sex when I was in my twenties with sex now, it was like listening to music through a mono radio with one bad speaker and a bad reception and now is like having a complete surround sound system with 10 speakers a humongous subwoofer. But all that happened by learning how to share, what to give and consequently what you get.
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 23
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/19/2011 9:59:18 PM
Are you sure that you're not just generally depressed? One of the classic symptoms of depression is the inability to feel pleasure in anything that would normally give people pleasure.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 24
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/20/2011 7:42:26 AM

Are you sure that you're not just generally depressed? One of the classic symptoms of depression is the inability to feel pleasure in anything that would normally give people pleasure.


There are people that no matter what, they have this strange feeling of not feeling a sense of love, or emotional pleasure. The thing is that it doesn't happen all the time. Depression can be that way, bipolars can be that way. ADD people can be that way.

My ex gf used to go through periods that were very emotional, to the point that she felt that my touch could heal her, and she loved me with all she had. To others that she was so emotionally empty that she felt that I didn't love her, nobody cared about her, and if it wasn't because she had children she would commit suicide.

OP, if mechanically speaking you are functioning fine. It sounds to me that your problem is not sexual, it just shows up there because it's one of the most obvious places in which to feel intense emotion.

You may want to talk about that with your therapist.

Where your parents very affectionate? Or very rational? Was one of your parents emotionally absent or were both very nurturing?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/20/2011 12:48:01 PM

Actually I dont really have much memory about my childhood, or in general.


You do not have memories of your childhood? How about memories of going to a swimming pool for the first time? Leaning how to swim? Ride a bike? What is the earliest memory of your room? The toys you had? Your best friends? The things that maybe they punished you for? Do you remember that? The scariest moment you can remember? What is your earliest memory of seeing someone naked? What was your reaction. Good, bad, ambivalent. How about the first time you noticed girls as being not a nuisance but something that made you feel different.

You don't have any of these?

Either you are pulling our leg here and are trolling or you have some serious issues that you are blocking.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 30
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/21/2011 9:26:43 PM
Other than a physical or chemical deficiency
I would imagine it is based on a process of you devaluing the act or relationship

Such as in not getting the connection, recognition and acceptance with another that you want.
Or not seeing them or yourself as worthy
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 32
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/22/2011 8:50:41 AM
Okay, so you do have memories of being 4 or 5? Write down two profound memories of that age, then of 8 or 9 and then of 13 to 14.

For example. Of 4 and 5 I remember being at a hammock at the beach with this waves that were very intense that could suck you in and get stuck. I remember the peacefulness of the hammock, I also remember almost drowning right there.

I remember being in school, probably the 4th or 5th grade. And we were sitting between of the steps between two buildings and there was this huge draft that formed every now and then. Coming down the steps is this beautiful girl, and I had began to fancy them in ways that I didn't even know at the time. This is private school, so boys wear uniforms, girls wear skirts. Well the wind blew her dress up and as she tried to make the skirt come down her books fell on the steps. She had a white bikini underwear with some pink and it stuck in my mind for ever. I got up and tried to help her pick her books up and when I handed them to her, it was weird because it was as if she knew that I knew that I had seen her panties. Weird. But it's a memory.

So try the exercise. Also I asked this before, where your parents very participatory? Was one, your mom or dad very absent? What was the reason?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 33
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sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/22/2011 10:33:26 AM
Dr. Outmind....
and just was is your prognosis for our young man here?

OP ........go to a real doctor......get your levels checked.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/22/2011 12:44:06 PM
~OP~ You need to see a health care professional. You likely need referred to a few physical-health-care specialists. A neurologist for certain. If your years are a blur, large gaps in memory, you likely have something going on in your brain which is either injury induced or possibly something else. This may also be the reason you have no interest (no real interest that is) in sex (and painful sex can be linked to your brain also in a number of ways.) It may not be physical, might be a symptom of something you truly do not wish to remember. Either way ~ this is NOT the place to try to make sense of this. Good luck to you.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 35
sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/22/2011 1:25:29 PM

Dr. Outmind....
and just was is your prognosis for our young man here?

OP ........go to a real doctor......get your levels checked.


Hey wait a second. I have watched at least 30 minutes of Dr. Drew.




Hehehe

Really, the ladies are right. OP you need a real doctor, not us whacko Forummanites.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 36
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sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/22/2011 7:08:32 PM
Consider taking the suppliment GABA(Gamma Amino Butyric Acid).... 500 mg ever 4-6 hours daily and just before sex...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GABA_receptor
 bilby886
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 37
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sexual anhedonia
Posted: 4/23/2011 7:35:24 PM
Isn't this a bit like eating a millet seed without opening the husk? questioned venerable "one hand clapping" monk.

If the left hand can snatch the pebble from the right hand, then what is the purpose of the right hand? -venerable Yoda

Thus nature balances itself - his first venerable Doodliness - Awsome Wills
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