Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Literacy: Is it important to you?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mystique305
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I did a search on this. I didn't find anything in this forum about it, and I'd rather hear opinions from everyone, not just those who live in Oklahoma.

For me, the answer is YES.

Absolutely, resoundingly, incontrovertibly, the answer is YES. My goodness.

I like complete sentences. Correct punctuation turns me on. Proper use of capitalization and sentence structure are mentally orgasmic. I'll admit to being a grammar junkie and I realize that in this day of texts and what not people will use shortcuts to their advantage. But in my case, it often turns out to be to their disadvantage. I LIKE WHAT I C or AY GURL WEN U GON LET ME SPANK DAT WIDE AZZ (I'm serious, somebody wrote that!) is not now, nor will it ever be a proper message for a woman who is looking for someone remotely intelligent. You might be a pretty smart guy, but how in the world am I supposed to know that at first glance if sheer idiocy is all you give me to work with?

I am not making sweeping generalizations here, but it seems to be mostly men of color in my age range that are like this. Physically these are the men that I find most attractive, but as soon as they open their mouths (read: start typing) I want to about face and run far, far away. I thought I might have escaped this after I turned 25, but apparently not. I went to school before hooked on phonics was popular; they actually taught phonics and pronouns and grammar in school when I was a kid.

Maybe I need to move to a different part of the country. I know a typo when I see one, and those don't usually bother me, but believe it or not, those red squiggly lines that you see under all those misspelled words are there for a reason! But it's not so much spelling that is the issue here as it is just plain comprehensible typing. I realize that some people may have disabilities that prevent them from spelling things correctly. However, if a person can't put two sentences together coherently am I wrong for block/deleting on sight? I'm not asking for Stephen Hawking... but please for the love of anything and everything, type like you could at least finish a book if you tried.

/rant

 mystique305
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:15:23 AM
@motowncowgirl: No, no one told me I was wrong for doing it. I've just gotten so many messages like that that it seems I am excluding more than half the male population that is attracted to me by deleting these messages. It's clear that not only do they not read my profile, they don't read anything at all! Block/delete is my new best friend I guess. Sigh. Maybe I will use some Shakespeare just to completely confuse them and run away while they're trying to find their brain.

@procolharem: I know, I know. But I don't know why they were deleted. It seems to me an important, underrepresented subject and I was wondering if anyone in my age range understood how important it is. Then again, those people probably aren't taking out the time to read the forums, are they?

Yeah, too bad Stephen is married. I'd do him in a picosecond. /swoon

Yes, that counts as a book. It's great to find out that I'm not the only one who's read one.

LoL! Thanks, yes that is the kind of message. I'm more interested in what's between your ears than what's between your legs.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 3
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:30:02 AM
I let things slide a little online.

I know way too many people who cannot type or write well, that are excellent communicators, just verbally.

I always recall also that both my doctors cannot write anything legible to save thier lives, yet they are intelligent and are practicing doctors.

Basically, if I can understand what the writer is trying to convey, and I like the message they are trying to convey, I dont get too hung up on grammar, not everyone is a good writer...and in most cases, just because they didnt spell check or catch thier errors doesnt mean they are not literate, it usually means they were in a rush and didnt think they were submitting a paper being graded. lol

That being said, I also delete the 'hi how are you' and 'nice rack' emails, if that was the first thing they wrote to me. Im not judging thier writing skills here, Im judging thier preception that they think it is cool to send a note like that to a stranger. lol

To each thier own tho.
 mystique305
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:59:06 AM
I'll admit I might be a little bit hm... obsessive.. about it.

In my defense I'm on my second cup of coffee and just weeded through lots of... undesirable... messages.
 Vanillaroyale
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 5
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 9:13:48 AM
My boyfriend is terrible when it comes to grammar but I understand everything he writes in his emails and texts. If I would have stopped communications with him because of his poor grammar I would have missed out on one awesome, intelligent, kind hearted and sexy individual. We've been together for more than 4 years now and I love him to bits.

Your loss is someone else's gain.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 6
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 9:41:45 AM
Two of my children have learning disabilities in English.

So ... spelling is something that I overlook, as spell check works wonders.

As for the text speak ... not into that at all.

This is mostly the younger generation, which has been used to texting.

I hate texting!


Basically, if I can understand what the writer is trying to convey, and I like the message they are trying to convey, I dont get too hung up on grammar, not everyone is a good writer...and in most cases, just because they didnt spell check or catch thier errors doesnt mean they are not literate, it usually means they were in a rush and didnt think they were submitting a paper being graded. lol


I will let a lot slide when it comes to emails, as what femaleconnection wrote is very true.

Procalharem ... what's with the "nice rack" comment?
That is so crass!
I absolutely hate it when men say that.


thou artless, clay-brained barnacle.
thou droning, toad-spotted miscreant.
thou puking, pox-marked maggot-pie.


And motown ... you slay me!!!!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 7
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 9:59:13 AM
Procalharem ... what's with the "nice rack" comment?
That is so crass!
I absolutely hate it when men say that.


How dare you accuse our Procol of being crass? He was merely complimenting the OP on her rib cage in the third photo.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 10:48:37 AM
I think it's a fad. The "text-speak", and the "ohbaybeeluvdatwaadaaaaaaassshhhh" stuff, that is.
When I was in my Primary Becoming stage, it was all but REQUIRED that one terminate all sentences with the word "Man." That has been updated to "dude," but the fad is still in place, that in order to be considered as lively, up to date, modern, or what ever faddishly dictated word you might use to indicate someone is "with it," one must speak in this unimaginative, and class-dictated 'incorrect' fashion.

Some of this appears to be age linked, but a lot more of it is class linked. It is CERTAINLY sex-linked, at least in my experience (far more men indulge in 'hip' speech patterns than women). Why? Ah-uuuh-owe.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 10:52:38 AM

Mystique, I am right there with you. Few things turn me off as much as a poorly written message. It saddens me to think that so many people seem to have graduated high school (or college, for that matter) without being able communicate in writing. Worse yet, many more simply are not inclined to bother to try.


As I was writing my post, I was thinking I should make a comment about my buddy Scottey who takes his writing seriously.

Now that I come back ... there he is!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 10
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:34:44 AM
~OT~ I have had to use proper grammar/punctuation for so many years that it's second nature to me. Finicky. Judgmental even about these things. And then, my son was in an accident and suffered a closed-head-injury, residual memory loss left him without the critical phonics-year in elementary school. He never did learn phonics as a result. He spelled words as they seemed logical to him. I learned a very valuable lesson about that. There are those that never were taught phonics in school (sight-words were the rage for about 10 years prior to phonics returning) and those like my son, and those with dyslexia and those that are simply too lazy to put in the effort to learn. I learned that no matter what the reason, nothing spells ignorance like judging others. When I stopped being so obsessed with people doing things as I deemed "right" ~~ my life became so much richer. To each their own, I prefer to value what's truly important, and that isn't what's being mis-spelled or mis-punctuated. At least not to me.
 mystique305
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:57:42 AM
not to put too fine a point on it, but if guys are already pointed in your direction and ya ask 'em to "do a 360 and walk away, then what they will actually be doing is a pirouette and coming right back at ya.


That's exactly my intention. If they don't get it, let them think that a 360 degree turn is in fact walking away. Call me choosy but I like a man who can think, ya know?


My boyfriend is terrible when it comes to grammar but I understand everything he writes in his emails and texts. If I would have stopped communications with him because of his poor grammar I would have missed out on one awesome, intelligent, kind hearted and sexy individual. We've been together for more than 4 years now and I love him to bits.

Your loss is someone else's gain.


I see your point.Even though the ability to express oneself in written and verbal communication might not be related directly to intelligence, we all have our preferences. Some guy might miss out on me because I am overweight. I might miss out on someone because of the subject of my rant. Both things can be changed. Also, I am not talking about someone who at least sounds like he finished high school. I'm talking about people who come across as though they might be missing a chromosome, and aren't.


OP, I think your profile is designed to attract people with low levels of desirability---in all ways. js
I'd shoot it through profile review and eat your Wheaties just prior to going it. It's screaming for a re-write ( which I hope you're open to doing).


I absolutely am open to suggestion. I have a thread active in Profile Review, the last time I checked I didn't have many replies. I can take criticism, constructive or otherwise. I don't mind rewriting; what you're looking at is a rewrite because I thought my other one sounded boring.

@scottey: Aw, thanks :) Looks like I'm a bit too young for you though. But you look good for your age ;)

@verygreeneyez: I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your son. My intent is not to judge others. But on a dating website, are we not all judging one another on some characteristic or another? Far be it from me to crucify someone who has a "good" reason to be the way they are. My own sister is disabled and may never learn to read, write, or communicate effectively, so I am not at all aiming my post at those people.

I am simply stating a preference, just like others have a preference for tall people, short people, black people, white people, homely, portly, people who like to sky- or dumpster-dive-- what have you. There are lots of those qualifications that people have no control over, and if someone has no control over the way they type, I can usually discern the difference. If not, a phone conversation can confirm it for me.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 12:29:19 PM
Are you kidding?

Since I do most of my dating from online, more than likely if they are illiterate, well, they could not get online.

And to me, if they can't express themselves. They are going to be boring. If they ignore punctuation, use all CAPS, speak on IM fragments, over use acronyms and everything is LOL, WTF, FWB, and so on. Not interested.


Now is she is incredibly hot and pronounces my name with the correct Spanish pronunciation. All bets are off.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 1:09:47 PM

Books can cause paper cuts.


What a wuss

Hehehehe
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 1:18:00 PM

@verygreeneyez: I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your son. My intent is not to judge others. But on a dating website, are we not all judging one another on some characteristic or another? Far be it from me to crucify someone who has a "good" reason to be the way they are. My own sister is disabled and may never learn to read, write, or communicate effectively, so I am not at all aiming my post at those people.

Thanks. I should have clarified ~ my son was not disabled. He went on to college, his spelling issues went unnoticed (thanks to spell-check.) No matter what the issue is, there are ways around such things. My point? We all may meet someone right here that has NO clue about the English language, punctuation/spelling/grammar/etc., because technology can fix that. Considering that Agatha Christi, Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Magic Johnson, Tom Cruise, Jay Leno, etc., etc., etc., all have issues with reading/spelling, I find it highly probable that we'll all encounter someone with an amazing mind/ability to effectively communicate without ever knowing they have issues which preclude them from writing perfect English. But hey, to each their own ~ I "discriminate" against others for far less than perfect sentence structure. We all have our preferences. JMO
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 15
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 3:52:13 PM
As long as a girl can read my emails and I can decipher hers...
I could care less.
Cus no one sweats grammar in the heat of passion.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 16
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 7:59:44 PM
What's amazing is how quickly semi-literate people become fully literate once divorce lawyers and divorce court become involved in their lives.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 17
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 8:36:59 PM
If you are weeding people out for "text speak", boy, good luck to you! If that is a relationship ender to you, I'd hate to see your reaction to some real problem!

If you want someone just like you, well, there are words for that. I suggest you try to find all the good things in the people who contact you. If someone say "Hi how are you" maybe he really wants to know. Respond and tell him how you are and that you would appreciate some deeper conversation. Hell, provide some topics. Some people are shy. And no one can read your mind and know exactly what you think is an appropriate introduction.

I'll keep saying it, people, quit being so selfish and demanding. Get out of shallow, try the deep end of the pool.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 18
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 8:53:53 PM
Yep. And we all wonder why our LTRs fail.
 mystique305
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/18/2011 9:51:03 PM
Literacy is important to me - not so much in perfect grammar and spelling, because I am guilty as anyone of grammar mistakes and typos. I do want someone to actually READ my profile and comprehend it, and I want to be able to read their profile and see that they bothered to spell-check and put up something that is understandable. IMO, if you can't be bothered to try to make a decent first impression via your profile or the first messages that you send to someone, you're saying that the person who views the profile, or receives the message, isn't worth the trouble.


This.

Also,


If you are weeding people out for "text speak", boy, good luck to you! If that is a relationship ender to you, I'd hate to see your reaction to some real problem!


See above. Real is subjective. First impressions are lasting. I believe that communication is the cornerstone of any good relationship. If someone can't understand me, or if we can't communicate, there is a "real" problem. Am I wrong? I have experienced situations like this where I gave the benefit of the doubt and phone conversations were like talking to a seventeen year old eighth grader. To clear things up, none of the people who posted in this thread (hell, probably anyone who bothers to read and post in the forums) are the kind I am talking about. Just basic literacy is all I ask for. Asking me how I'm doing is a great start. Unfortunately that's not how 75% of my messages begin.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 20
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 1:09:54 AM
It is, a little bit of it goes a long way I like to see people use whole words at least. The text speak annoys me even in text messages.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 8:49:42 AM
I never really understood the whole text speak idea. I remember reading some guy's grammatical masturbation, and I went off on him for his haphazard grammar and spelling. His argument is that he likes to type fast, his posts end up that way. My counter argument was that court reporters, secretaries, and most computer-literate college students type fast, so that's no excuse. Moreover, the time saved in typing in such a fashion is lost in trying to decipher the message.

I'm really not a fan of someone who voluntarily makes themselves look stupid.

This is why I have a cell phone with a qwerty board. I type everything out in my text messages too. I even went so far as to have a "quick text" that says "your last text message made absolutely no sense."
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 22
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 9:07:02 AM
Holly,

From each thread you are in, I see more and more required criteria, again showing that selfish topic to be accurate....


But back to the original topic: Did anyone ever consider asking hte person if they could not use it in the future, rather than dismissing them. After all, there are plenty of people who use the new "shorthand" (a form of which is used by fast typing court reporters) and like it. Some people may be more techy or trendy than you, doesn't make them illiterate. It goes back to dismissing people for very superficial reasons. In that regard, maybe you are doing them a favor as such dismissals do demonstrate a limited ability to form a lasting bond with someone. Do you want the guy who types like he is on his cell, but is otherwise a great guy, or the man with the awesome vocabulary and grammer that beats the snot out of you?

And yes, relationships, if ending, generally should fail in the deep end if they are to fail.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 23
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 9:23:29 AM
I think it is much more important to have empathy, to communicate without an elaborate speech and long words.

I could write my significant other a long, eloquent letter about why I was justified in some action I took. It could be nearly poetic. But maybe some roses with a card that simply says "Im sory" (mistakes and all) is better communication.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 24
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 9:30:08 AM
Paddy,

I am in the tech sector, we have all kinds of trendy acronyms going on. When I text them, they WANT the short version. It gets to be habit, especially when you are so used to saying things in under 150 characters.

One could argue you get to communicate more in less time, handy for talking with loved ones. No matter how poorly you try to spin it, it is just not an argument for dismissing someone unless you are shallow.


Kayla,

Is that the best you have, name-calling? At your advanced age? Too bad.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Literacy: Is it important to you?
Posted: 4/19/2011 9:37:00 AM
Another thing that bothers me is when the "text speak" word is nearly as long, if not just as long as the proper word.

- hunny vs honey
- iz vs is
-wuz vs was
- nething vs anything

Of course, the list gets pretty lengthy, so I'll stop there.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Literacy: Is it important to you?