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 MissyTrouble
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1
Angry all the timePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Its simple..

I feel angry.

Last relationship ended 2 months ago..

And i am chasing all my female friends away with my attitude. No one wants to hear about it.

Must i find another angry bitter female so i can feel like 2 peas in a pod or what?
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 2
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 4:04:14 PM
Try keeping it to yourself and working through your frustrations by using such techniques as getting a pillow to punch, writing out your thoughts and burning them, doing some self help through reading and self analysis - something that speaks to what you are going through, get involved in a physical activity to get rid of some of your aggressive feeling etc, etc.

Not too many people even good friends want to hear someone continually rant about an ex especially if they thought that the ex was not really that bad or if you had significant part in the breakup.

If I could see into the future I would predict that you will soon have a bitter female responding to this thread and you may not like what she has to say it could be as soon as two posts from now.

Happy Easter Regardless
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 3
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Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 4:15:21 PM
Okay sweets-

Here is something to think about- the more you
continue to hang on to him- the more you stay
connected.

The more connected the more bitter.

What do you think he is doing? You think
he gives a flying fcck what you are doing?

Nope.
He is moving on and so should you.

Go to this site and read.

Email me when you are done to thank me.


Baggagereclaim dot co dot uk

he is an assclown and your bitterness is keeping
you connected to him, unable to move forward.

Good luck sweets.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 4
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 4:19:31 PM
pfft, get over yourself. i think your anger comes from a tacit sense of entitlement. there's a little voice whispering in your ear and it's your own voice, it says stuff like "i deserve a relationship!!" it never shuts up about you and what you think you should have, you you you you you you you you you you you like a broken record, and it has you completely convinced. it's bullshit. you aren't even relationship material.... who do you think you're kidding..... i can tell because you're angry all the time and even your own friends are sick of hearing about it. nobody in this world is responsible for your happiness but you, and nobody is responsible for completing you or relieving you from your own sense of festering internal rage. learn to be a happy and whole person in your own right, and THEN you will be ready for a normal relationship when one comes your way, because you will have something of yourself to give.
 CAD1218
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 5
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Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 4:25:38 PM
Great book.....Getting over getting Mad by Judy Ford
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 6
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 4:28:53 PM
Two months ... this is still fresh.
In fact this is normal.
There are emotional stages that you will go through.
Anger is one of them.
They say that the stages consist of:

* Denial: "This is not happening to me. It's all a misunderstanding. It's just a midlife crisis. We can work it out."
* Anger and resentment: "How can he [she] do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? This is not fair!"
* Bargaining: "If you'll stay, I'll change" or "If I agree to do it [money, childrearing, sex, whatever] your way, can we get back together?"
* Depression: "This is really happening, I can't do anything about it, and I don't think I can bear it."
* Acceptance: "Okay, this is how it is, and I'd rather accept it and move on than wallow in the past."

I remember them well.
It took me a long time to go through these stages, so it gave me great comfort to research where I was and how to assist myself through them.
Google it ... Emotional Stages of Divorce (separation, ending of a relationship ... same thing)

You are angry.
Rightfully so.
You thought that everything was going to be ok, instead it took a different path.

Allow yourself to feel what you are going through.
Doing this will allow you to heal.

What kills me are the people who jump out of one relationship right into another without going through the process, and allowing themselves to understand what happened.

Do this properly and you will be ok.
Best of luck.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 7
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 5:30:36 PM

No one wants to hear about it.


Uhmmm... Why don't you tell us all about the As-hall and what he did, we certainly would love to hear about him! You get it out of your system and into ours, and we'll all have some good ol' fun! Some of us we 'll sympathize (me too! me too!) and some will psychoanalyze (get some counseling!), and some will chastise (grow up already!)

That's the broken heart specialty, ya know?

We are ready! Fire away!

 Zara_Tatiana
Joined: 4/21/2011
Msg: 8
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 5:48:28 PM
Absolutely.. fire away.. vent as much as you want

Its not WRONG to be angry. Allow yourself to be angry. It won`t fade if you keep it in.. and keeping it in is the ONLY time anger will make you sick. Don`t let anyone tell you not to be angry and to "get over yourself".. its your right. Especially if you were the one who was wronged.
 Cool_November
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 9
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 7:18:13 PM
Working out helps release endorpins that get rid of the anger, and gives you a break from it.I highly recommend it to you hun,...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
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Angry all the time
Posted: 4/24/2011 11:11:51 PM
Oh I've done this, it I just have to get it out of my system. So for 5 mins, I can rant & rave and just be a total idiot, then I have to stop and not bring it up again for 24 hours. Of course at first you mess up all the time, but keep saying...I'm doing it again...and stop, pretty soon you will be good at it and before you know it, he's not even a topic of conversation because you haven't spent all your time wallowing in it.
 bipolarintense
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 11
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 2:48:54 AM
Is this a real thread?

You never specified whether your angry about the relationship ending or the fact your friends won't comfort you?

Of course you could be angry because you didn't get one of those 50,000 jobs Mcdonalds was offering last week.

Honestly, how angry can a person be if they use that emoticon?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 6:57:39 AM

Must i find another angry bitter female so i can feel like 2 peas in a pod or what?

Try getting laid.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 13
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Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 7:14:50 AM
The last time I was mad at a man I burned all the stuff I had that reminded me of him. It felt really good and definately helped..
 MissyTrouble
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 14
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 8:28:07 AM


Honestly, how angry can a person be if they use that emoticon?


Actually, I posted this after watching Sex and the City. I was having a Carrie moment, sitting in my underwear, smoking a cigarette, typing out my inner thoughts.

No, I don't want to give any more information on the man. He is gone. It just occurred to me that I am angry at ALL the men who have failed with me.

And worse, I realize that most of my friends are probably not really friends. Everyone LOVES me when I'm happy. I think real friends love you when you are sad.

So, while misery loves company, I do have one friend who is somewhat bitter. Maybe together we can burn up all the man hating thoughts.

And to the one who suggested I "get laid".. I did indeed think to try that. But men are not attracted to angry women. A scowl on one's face is unattractive.


**Thank you for all the comments.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 15
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 8:40:06 AM

And to the one who suggested I "get laid".. I did indeed think to try that. But men are not attracted to angry women. A scowl on one's face is unattractive.


Easy fix. Turn around and bend over.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 16
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 9:49:00 AM
Good one, Walts.

Good friends are great for telling us when its time to move on. Bad friends are just motivated for selfish reasons. If you trust their judgment, and even you seem to be getting sick of you then make a plan of action for moving on. I like NLP for neutralizing thoughts. Look it up. You can take every ugly angry picture in your head and change your feelings to neutral.

I had an ex friend say to another that I hated her. The other asked if that was true. Well, I had gone through a lot of anger because her mouthy lies had caused me a lot of trouble. But at this point, I rarely thought of her. I don't like her enough to hate her. That is where you want to be.The anger phase should teach you why he is unlikable for you. If it isn't accomplishing that, make the longest list you can about what you don't like about him.

And daynadaze has one of the BEST suggestions. I "prescribe" it to anyone with a chronic emotion. It's an appointment, sometimes has to be for much longer. The rule is that everythkng is saved for that time of day and if you miss you appointment, you wait till the next day. What happens is that you start to skip your appointments.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 17
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 10:20:28 AM

I did indeed think to try that. But men are not attracted to angry women. A scowl on one's face is unattractive.

All you need to do to overcome that is be a little more forward. If that doesn't work with men, try women, since you aren't angry at women.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 18
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 12:03:10 PM
Working out helps release endorpins that get rid of the anger, and gives you a break from it.I highly recommend it to you hun,...


I agree with this advice. Get up off the couch and head to the gym. Working out would definitely elevate your serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin levels, and improve your mood.

That's infinitely preferable to boozing it up and packing on the pounds. There's nothing less appealing than a drunk---especially an angry one who has let herself go.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 19
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 4:02:55 PM
I feel angry.

Last relationship ended 2 months ago..

And i am chasing all my female friends away with my attitude. No one wants to hear about it.

Must i find another angry bitter female so i can feel like 2 peas in a pod or what?



Weatherby 650 Mark II with a 20x sniper scope.
Works for some.
If not, you can still dream..
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 20
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 5:05:59 PM

The last time I was mad at a man I burned all the stuff I had that reminded me of him. It felt really good and definitely helped..


carolann, your one woman who looks good in any situation! burn baby burn.....smile
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 21
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Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 5:51:35 PM
your ex is the big winner here.
he's managed to ruin your life...as you see it...and turn you into a bitter woman.

being angry at someone who isn't around anymore to care or witness your "suffering", you're wasting your time and emotions.
no one wants to be around a friend who constantly whines and whinges about how badly they were done by. in the beginning we're all ears and sympathetic, after a while it's "oh no, here she goes again!".

there is life after relationships end, for whatever reason, and there comes a time when you have to move on...or stay a miserable, friendless, long forgotten loser of love.

your choice!...
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 22
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 6:39:18 PM
I gotta agree with the exercise as being a great anger and all over stress reliever, so is doing a life purge, digging in closets and drawers and storage and getting rid of stuff. Going through bills and deleting services and subscriptions and unused memberships (I have none, at this point, LOL), and even purging online accounts and "friends" and email.

Anger as a response to hurt is natural, but when you hang on to it, it is a symptom of greater burdens.
 E_keys
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 23
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/25/2011 11:52:27 PM
Another reason for that anger is that your subconscious is "protecting" you, in its built-in, totally misguided way.

That person hurt you! So, your internal auto-pilot is making sure you don't snooze and get "attacked" again. It keeps reminding you about him, ranting and raging about him, so you don't take your attention away and get ambushed.

You need to tell yourself that you're safe. He's not coming back, for any kind of interaction whatsoever. (Are you fantasizing that he will? Get it out in the open to yourself!) Tell yourself to take the guard off duty. He's not coming back to hear your arguments, to keep you company, anything. You're *safe* from being hurt by him again.

A technique I read about and use, when the rage is really bad, is to think back to your nine-year-old self on a brat day. What kinds of things did you do? (I kicked people, pulled their chairs over, hid under tables, and wrote angry notes. I was a gem!) What are the grown-up versions of these crazy nine-year-old brat things? Are you feeling the impulse to do them?

Give that nine-year-old a hug and tell it, "You know, I'm not going to let you do that, because it's just not effective. How about you clean your room, and I'll clean the kitchen, and then we'll go for ice cream." This is actually another version of being protective about yourself, protective in a good way.

Good luck!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 24
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/26/2011 5:58:18 AM
It is perfectly fine to feel angry, that is part of the healing process. However, no one is entightled to make another miserable because we are miserable.

So, when you are alone, let it all hang out, Be bitter, curse, cry, throw things if you feel the urge. Get it out. But when you are with others, and they ask how you are doing, just say you are still dealing with a broken heart and leave it at that. The ones who actually care will dig a bit and you can open up more, if you want to. The more 'fairweather' friends wont ask alot of questions, and you really neednt burden them anyways, being fairweather friends and all.

When we are going through tougher times is when we see who our real friends are, and when we are already down, that can hurt alot. But it is a life lesson. Look at that closely and if nothing else, even if you never date again, you know you need to foster better friendships at the very least. A goal for the future that doesnt involve a man. lol.
 kayla1963
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 25
Angry all the time
Posted: 4/26/2011 1:12:59 PM
Why not buy a flannel shirt, a chain for your wallet, some work boots and get an unflattering short hair cut? That is a good way to show men what jerks they are!!!
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