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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How to get an ex back?      Home login  
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 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 2
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How to get an ex back?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I would suggest for at least the next 90 days you try the 'no contact' rule. Your heart and head need to move on. Your GF sounds as if she was not ready for the type of relationship you wanted. The guy from her job was a huge red flag for you that she is not the one.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 4
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 3:57:55 PM
Oh, boy!
Do you really want to get back with someone who doesn't have feelings for you and sees you only as a friend?

Your wanting her back will not change HER feelings for you. That's a pretty pathetic situation to choose to live in, and there is no reason for you to be on the begging side. Think of how it will feel for you to have invested yourself in this drama, when she starts fancying the next co-worker .

I say wait a bit until you get over her, and then find someone else.

 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 4:12:23 PM
Are you hoping she's ready to settle for you, learned her lesson, would rather be with you than alone? I don't know why you would want her back, she didn't say she wants you back, and she dumped you after she found someone else, not before when she knew she was not interested in you romantically. You are asking for trouble and to be hurt again and to not have her respect, which you didn't seem to ever have. Trust me, there are women out there who want you, not someone else unless only you are only what's available. But then, if you are so willing to woo her back knowing how she feels about you and how she will treat you, maybe she's just the drama you need in your life. To each his own. But let's not forget, she hasn't shown any signs of wanting you back, has she.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 7
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 4:21:59 PM
No contact.

You are not mourning her. You are mourning
the idea. The fantasy. What could be.

What is- she is a liar and a cheat.

What is for you- no contact. A chance
for you to step back and get yourself in
order.

She has shown you who she Really is.

Now it's up to you to show her who You
are- someone who can do better than her.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 4:56:42 PM
Yeah, why in the WORLD would you WANT to "get back" with her? It sounds from what you say, that you were never really WITH her from the beginning, you were just providing room and board while she went off chasing others.
Before even THINKING about getting with ANYONE, I'd recommend you take the time to work on your ability to tell whether or not you are even IN a relationship. In this case, you seem to have imagined the whole thing. You wont be able to be with anyone as long as your perceptions are THAT much inverted.
It's even more telling about your perceptions, that you come here asking strangers "Would there be any chance of us getting back together? What should I do or how should I act to her if i really do want her back?", as though WE actually saw your life. I see serious problems here, assuming you are for real.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 9
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 5:02:15 PM
I could see you feeling like wanting to get back at your EX as in getting even but I would not recommend you go down that path either ( ok maybe if it's really good rebound revenge sex as chill suggests - as long as both of you are not under any delusions about whats going on ) Put this in the past OP and use the experience to learn how to have a healthier relationship.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 12
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 5:24:09 PM
If you have to try to "get" someone back.. it really isn't meant to be.
If you succeed, it would probably be superficial on their part and not last very long.
Just my opinion.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 14
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 5:55:35 PM

I actually found out she was trying to get with a guy from her work and it didnt work out. She told me this.


I'm guessing she probably left out the fact that she slept with him, and then he dumped her after "getting some"... which he was probably showing "interest" in her to get.

Of course, I wonder if that was before or after she "left you" too...


Would there be any chance of us getting back together? What should I do or how should I act to her if i really do want her back?


Well, before you jump the gun, let me ask you a simple question... suppose you *do* "get her back", how are you going to feel when the *next* guy comes along that is "better than you"? She said she "doesn't have feelings for you" - so realistically even if she *did* come back, wouldn't it feel a bit like she's just *using* you for a bit, knowing that she'll probably dump you again like a hot potato once something "better" comes along?

Still, I'll agree with the person who said "no contact for 90 days" - let her be, if she's going to "miss you" it won't be with you around being a "friend" with ulterior motives of wanting her back. After a few months maybe one of you will change your mind.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 15
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 6:33:25 PM
Yes, why would you want to get her back? Haven't you been dumped on by this woman enough already? You want more?

Move on, already.
 fanciness
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 19
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 4/30/2011 8:13:43 PM
Why would you want to get back together with someone who cheated on you? I couldn't even imagine what that would feel like. Get on with your life and meet someone worthy of you. Life is too damn short!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 21
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/1/2011 1:43:25 AM
I hate to be a downer, but I seriously doubt there's much chance of getting back together, or if you do, it will only seem like you're going through the motions for a short time before it's over. At best, you'd end up with an off again, on again love-hate relationship that ruins several years of your life. It will never be the same as it was. Don't contact her or have anything to do with her any longer. Don't be her friend and don't take her calls and reply to text messages or emails. In the long run, you'll be much better off. Go get laid.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 24
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/1/2011 4:30:16 AM

She says she doesn't have feelings for me and loves me like a friend. I actually found out she was trying to get with a guy from her work and it didnt work out.


why on earth would you want to spend time with someone who acts like this?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 25
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/1/2011 12:53:13 PM
If you lived together for 4 months and the result is she just isn't feeling it,
then no.
Sorry.

If she had said something else...maybe.
But that is pretty final.
 tatjana25
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 26
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/1/2011 1:56:59 PM
She doesn't have feelings for you, she already told you that.

Put your energy into something else.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 30
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/10/2011 3:43:07 AM
WHY on earth do you want to get back with someone who before the BED was cold was seeking to be with another man?
I don`t understand how there could be an attraction to someone who has little or no respect for you!
The best course of action is to leave well enough alone and pull yourself together and act like a man!
Do not under any circumstances go back for more punishment...
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 32
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/10/2011 12:13:52 PM

How to get an ex back?


Show up at the ex's house wearing no underwear, clear hills, and a really short mini skirt, while your tits are so tight together that the left one is pushing out from your turtle neck, and your hair is messy as if you just got rolled.

Oh wait, you are a guy. In this case, beg on your knees.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 36
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/12/2011 7:53:27 PM
It took her TWO YEARS, INCLUDING 4 months, to figure out that she doesn't love you, that she only thinks of you as a friend?

I don't know if there's really no interest, if she's playing some kind of game, or what.

In any case, it's bad news for you.

Whatever the game is, don't play it.

Be rid of her. If it's your place, kick her out. If it's her place, move out.

Move on. Sometimes VERY hard to do, but it HAS to be done.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 37
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/12/2011 9:15:52 PM
Press the C key and then hit back space once.

Why are we revisiting this old topic again? You all are either bored or much more patient then in the past.

Grow from it and move on.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 38
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/12/2011 9:21:54 PM

would you drink water that's already gone down the drain? that's what getting back together with her would be like.


My guess is that the answer to her question is "yes". Here is the deal... she left you because you are a door mat. What you are asking now is if you can fit more snugly in front of her threshold. Forget this one -- no way, no how. You committed the worst sin possible, namely being a contemptible lap dog. You can't recover. Not ever.

Had you banged her kid sister, she could forgive you.
If you had stolen her blind and spent every cent on booze and drugs-- ditto.
If you were going to do 5-10 for armed robbery, she would be waiting when you got out.
...but be a limp and pining butt lick just once and it's done.

She dumped you because you forced her to amputate your nutbag. If you got her back, what is she supposed to do for you then? Carve you a vagina? Give her a break. Don't prove how much of a simp you are twice.

If you were to just forge ahead, then you can point to this and at least say you have a little pride. Following after her like a moonstruck calf only makes what she already thinks the gospel truth.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 39
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/12/2011 10:26:23 PM
I know it is difficult. Been there, done that.

For a couple years, they tell you all the things you want to hear, how much they love you, they call you "my man", etc. It felt good. You want it back. Problem....

IT WASN'T REAL! Had they truly felt what they said, you would not be in this position. You need to realize it was just a lie. You can't get it back (well, I suppose you could if you WANTED a lie for awhile again) and you don't really want it back. Find the person who really will love you and mean those things when they say them. That's what you REALLY want anyway.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 40
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/13/2011 8:39:11 AM
An ex is an ex for a reason. There are basically only two reasons to even stay in touch with an ex:

1 - You have a child or children together, or
2 - You live in a small enough town that not being on at least amiable speaking terms makes life uncomfortable for others around you.

Why on earth would you even want an ex back? Do you think history can repeat itself with a different outcome? Not very damned likely, that.
 Shamrock14
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 41
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/15/2011 9:04:20 AM
Move on...surely you must think yer worth so much more??

would ye really wanna be with someone who treats you with so much disrespect....I hope not...toime to have some self respect and then before ye know it you will meet someone you treats ye roite..but it has to start with you believing in yerself and KNOWING you deseve better.

good luck to ye
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 43
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How to get an ex back?
Posted: 5/15/2011 12:03:30 PM
Move on with your life. "Everybody wants to rule the world". I am friends with my ex's, but I wouldn't go back for more. It takes a special person to know when he/she is right, or wrong.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 46
How to get an ex back?
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:02:30 AM
ur in the 'friend-zone man...move on..otherwise ur just a wimp-azz...
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