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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1
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For the LadiesPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after. She went shopping, drank vodka with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a wardrobe full of shoes and bags, stayed skinny and was never farted upon. The End

(Not my original material, but thought it was a HOOT!)
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/13/2011 12:41:50 PM
This is soooooo true!
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 3
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For the Ladies
Posted: 5/13/2011 6:05:58 PM
you forgot to mention the cats.....................
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 4
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For the Ladies
Posted: 5/14/2011 8:43:54 PM
It was a copy/paste, I was still laughing. I could have embelished ad nauseum, but I did my disclaimer it was not my original material. I did love the idea, though...still giggling to myself.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 5
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/15/2011 6:13:53 PM
I don't like to shop and I prefer tequila, but everything else sound about right.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 6
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For the Ladies
Posted: 5/15/2011 7:45:22 PM
"I don't like to shop" I don't either, ask any of my kids, shopping to me is a chore. But it was a copy/paste and is stereotypical of our gender. Actually my guy friends think that I don't like to shop, they give me the "oh my God, I can't understand why you're not married" bit. Which makes me roll my eyes...
 oldhippie1952
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 7
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/17/2011 2:05:21 AM
Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."
 sukkatash
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 8
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/17/2011 10:59:58 AM

Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."

Okay......

Once upon a time a guy didn't ask a girl, "Will you marry me?" and he lived happily ever after. He went shopping, to sports bars, strip clubs, to sporting events, and drank vodka with friends. He always had a clean house since he just rented a maid, never had to cook since he only had to feed one, had a wardrobe full of suits and watches and giant T.V's., stayed happy and worked out if he felt like it or not, and was never nagged upon or seen as a fish to bait for compliments.
The End

Or

Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "Yes."
And thereby Women got even.
The End.

Or

Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "Yes."
But then equal rights and the government came in and said "No, you are stupid for doing that. You should be doing this other thing instead, it's better for everyone." So instead she said "No."
And now she has to buy her own house, her own clothes, her own vodka, the line of suitors and potential relationships and marriage and prospects of bearing children diminish each day as it gets closer and closer to the end of her procreating shelf life, and she's caught in the cycle of independence, also contributing to the cycle of less intelligent people breeding in litters while those with intelligence choose to not have kids, have one or two, or wait too long, and fighting to be seen the same as a man even though she is not a man and doesn't (generally) want to be.
The End.

Or

Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No" and it broke his heart. So he turned evil and moved to China and India, brought all of his corporate friends, starting capitalistic movements there in order to destroy the United States where the girl who said "No" lived.
The End.

Or

Somehow, some way, there has to be a post to get "even."

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No," so he deleted all his emails to her and moved on to the next profile before his wife got back from work after picking up his unemployment check before making him a gourmet meal.
The End.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 9
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/17/2011 1:01:20 PM
^^^^^^^^^wow- it's true. some men really are confused these days in regard to women and dating.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 10
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For the Ladies
Posted: 5/18/2011 8:11:01 AM
^^^ Yeah, no kidding! haha What's the whole "get even" BS........geez, it's just a JOKE. Reminds me of middle school, boys have to get even with the girls......yawn...
 lovesmusic33
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 11
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/18/2011 5:29:36 PM
(yawns)...ok next joke?
 Snappy_Turtle
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 12
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/20/2011 4:17:45 PM
I don't like shopping either so tell me why this rings so true?
* * * * *
A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second.
In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a Female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband.

Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit!

It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you'll ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!"

The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.

The Female doc chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you. He's dead. Show me what you bought."
 Snappy_Turtle
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 13
For the Ladies
Posted: 5/20/2011 4:19:33 PM
Are you seriously kiddin me. This joke war got started a few eons back:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14389425.aspx

oops. humor: trial & error by god
 GoldenDame
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 14
For the Ladies
Posted: 6/12/2011 8:41:48 AM
Good riddance, chillax a bit because he was only kidding hence the reason why he put the words even in quotes... he KNOWS its a joke. You simply failed to realize that.
 4asongkc
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 15
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For the Ladies
Posted: 6/15/2011 2:21:34 PM
Man, I'm just glad our parents' generation didn't have sites like this. None of us would be here!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 16
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For the Ladies
Posted: 6/16/2011 9:53:14 AM
at all the men that feel the need to come into a joke thread titled "For the Ladies".....and then get their panties in a bunch ?!?!
What did you expect it to be about? Tupperware?
 Georgygirl7
Joined: 5/20/2011
Msg: 17
For the Ladies
Posted: 6/16/2011 5:35:44 PM
Hi Snappy...I laughed so hard and I'm a widow,,,,guess I'm healed :
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18
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For the Ladies
Posted: 6/16/2011 6:47:55 PM
Actually, one of the first "adult level" movies I saw as a kid, was a male-fantasy about a guy not marrying. A Jack Lemon comedy, called "How to Murder Your Wife." it had all the silly ideas, such as that because he HADN'T married, Jack's character could afford to live in a fancy penthouse apartment with a live-in butler, go out every other night carousing and getting plastered, have "girl" after "girl" over for the night (I put "girl" in quotes, because they were in their thirties, as I recall).
 DeniW
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 19
For the Ladies
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:26:18 AM
From a male friend of mine...

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “NO!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny big titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard ****ing and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was ****in cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 20
For the Ladies
Posted: 7/31/2011 12:56:42 PM
^^^^^^Yeah, but he was sterile, so he just got lucky.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 21
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For the Ladies
Posted: 7/31/2011 8:07:05 PM
"rode motorcycles and banged skinny big titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan"

Oh how original....(snicker) gee, you know, there are men who do all that and of those I know that have, they wind up alone, nuking a micro dinner, sitting in their recliner with a TV tray, a Pabst Blue Ribbon in their hand, watching TV, struggling to unsnap the strained buckle on their pants so their wide belly can finally explode in all it's disgusting girth. Before they pick up their plastic fork, they let out a resonant cheap beer belch, and before forking their fake mashed potatoes, swat at their yapping dog, their only companion who stays only because he buys 50 lb. bags of Puppy Chow.

Desirable women don't date men like this, if they happen to because they put up a good front, they drop them faster than a prom gown in Arkansas. Banging skinny big titted broads....that's almost comically classic, along with dating someone half their age. I don't read the gossip rags, but even mainstream news headlines reveals that doesn't lead to happiness.

If memory serves, this IS the humor forum, it was a joke I and several others laughed at, so I posted it. I was fairly sure women would find the humor in it, why the thread was so titled, for some men it appears they may be lacking any humor gene. Wowsers, who woulda thunk it...........
 Kaorikasai
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 22
For the Ladies
Posted: 8/9/2011 12:05:36 PM
haha! ha! ohhh... that's ****ed up.
 Simply_Me_83
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 23
For the Ladies
Posted: 8/10/2011 10:21:08 PM

Actually, one of the first "adult level" movies I saw as a kid, was a male-fantasy about a guy not marrying. A Jack Lemon comedy, called "How to Murder Your Wife." it had all the silly ideas, such as that because he HADN'T married, Jack's character could afford to live in a fancy penthouse apartment with a live-in butler, go out every other night carousing and getting plastered, have "girl" after "girl" over for the night (I put "girl" in quotes, because they were in their thirties, as I recall).


This is an old post but I liked that movie a lot :) super funny
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