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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > keeping your newborn's sex a secret      Home login  
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 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 1
keeping your newborn's sex a secretPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
This should make for a topic that draws a few opinions:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

I just read that and thought "wtf? Gotta be another couple idiots seeking publicity."
I had a big sign in the front yard that said "it's a boy" when I brought
mom and son home from the hospital. Yanno? Now, what's the protocol gonna be?
"It's a human."?? Dunno about anyone else.. but, I'm glad they didn't have a sheep or somethin..
I mean, c'mon.. even gay couples say what gender their kid is when they get 'em by adoption or sperm donation. Am I missing something here? I'm guessin the dad didn't hand out cigars. Anybody got any opinions on this topic?
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 1:01:57 PM
That particular theme has been around for decades. I remember reading a story in grade school about a kid with a gender neutral name whose parents wouldn't allow the school to identify him/her by gender.

It's a fringe thing and more suited to 70's idealism.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 4:45:12 PM
Oh I remember when this crap was popular for the fringe element. The baby has a gender, there's nothing wrong with having a gender, it's so stupid. You watch your child grow and help them develop who they are. My granddaughter is three and she's all about cars and choo choos and dinosaurs, but she is also about dressing up like a princess and getting dressed up to go shopping and putting on pretty shoes, etc., in other words she's a toddler.

I watched Chaz Bono's new show about becoming male, and there is a disturbing part in it where parents are dressing up their children in the other gender and telling them they are transgendered. It's not uncommon for children to go through phases where they want to be the other gender, and certainly I'm all for people who are transgendered to be openly allowed to be who they are, but you can't push children like that. It's just as wrong as denying someone who is actually transgendered. Children may just be curious, but it could be something serious, like being molested and thinking if you were the other gender you'd be safer, or being confused, whatever the core reason needs to be looked into. The answer is not to declare that George must really be a Georgia and put him in dresses.

I don't know why people are so stupid, you have a gender, if the child grows to not fit that gender then work from there but to deny gender, what a great way to damaged your child's psyche. Will the child have to go around hiding it's body until Mom & Dad get some therapy and decide they've totally screwed up? Do they really think that their baby won't develop normally if they just pay attention to who the child is? Some people should never procreate. In fact I'm guessing this is more about getting attention than it is about what gender problems some children might have by wearing pink or blue.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 4
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 6:14:42 PM
I think gender is too important to ignore. I agree people should be allowed to choose later in life if something has gone wrong (mentally a woman and physically a man or viceversa)...but I dont see why these parents dont just ensure to keep the lines of communication open and only act on this issue if it raises itself? Why do they presume one of thier kids will grow up to have a genuine gender issue?

I would think if you are close with your children and they feel free to talk to you about things you would know from talking that your child has a gender issue and you would help that child any way you could......but to act towards all of your children by default as if they will have a gender issue regardless of any issue presenting itself is too strange to me. Thats like giving your healthy kid radiation to prevent cancer...
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 5
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 6:43:14 PM
I can't see the purpose to this.
Seems a bit extreme.

When you first brought this up, I thought that maybe the child was born a hermaphrodite.
Then I could see the parents waiting until the child was old enough to decide which way worked best.

However this ... sounds like therapy will be in order later.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 6
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 6:44:40 PM
Just read the article,WTF. These poor kids don't stand a chance. Who in the Fvck lets a 5 year old kid decide to go to school or not. Kids are on auto pilot.

I cannot believe the father is a teacher. I would be outraged if he had any contact with my boys when they were in school.

These poor kids are going to have some hard miles to trek when they get a little older.

I still cannot grasp the mentality of these parents, or what ever they should be called.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 7
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/24/2011 10:36:59 PM
Sounds like these "parents" have kids strictly for experimental purposes. They'd probably fair better in the wild with apes. "Free to be me" is one thing, but this is more a case of "free to be as confused as hell".
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 8
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/25/2011 2:51:35 AM
Considering that it's only a new born, the baby itself doesn't even have a grasp of what sex it is.
A lot of people do put too much emphasis upon having a son, as opposed to a daughter or visa versa. People do tend to have a bias in the way they relate to boys vs. girls. This may be what the parents are trying to avoid.

There are some societies which are out right hostile to girl babies. Sons, being seen as more valuable than daughters, girls are aborted more often or are victims of infanticide.

I could see a point in keeping the sex of a child secret until the child starts to recognize the difference for itself.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 9
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/25/2011 4:50:38 AM
From reading the article, it sure looks to me as though this is all about the PARENTS egos, and their political/social beliefs. If it were just a simple matter that they didn't want all the onlookers to push the kids around, we wouldn't have heard about it.
Bottom line, I don't care. I don't know that this will 'damage' the kid psychologically. Depending on how long they keep it up, it could certainly provide him/her/it some unnecessary socialization concerns later, but from my own experience BEING a child, I expect the kid will STILL be what ever he/she/it is, no matter WHAT nonsense the parents put him/her/it through.
But then that's because I completely disagree with the parents thinking, which is that all a person becomes is determined by their upbringing, and social pressures to conform. I think that's well-proven to be crap, throughout the history of human kind. If it were TRUE, then there would NEVER have been such a thing as a homosexual, or a genius, or a singer, or anything else. Everyone would grow up to be identical to their neighbors and parents and siblings.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 10
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/25/2011 5:18:50 AM
LMAO ... I had 3 girls and a boy and did not cut off baby curls right away. The girls all had hair almost down to their waist before we ever took out the scissors. My little boy had hair down to his shoulders before we finally cut it.

I still remember people seeing me in the store with our son and saying "Oh what a cute little girl!" All I said was, "Yes, we think he's cute too."

We always had such an array of toys in the house that our children could play with what they wanted and as a result, my girls often played with tools and trucks and cars and they played "dolls" with our son.

We lived in Germany and the bathrooms at the preschool were unisex ... used by the boys as well as the girls ... all at the same time. People in Europe are not so inhibited about such things as the Americans.
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 11
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/26/2011 4:49:07 PM
Yeah, balloon boy is exactly what I thought when I first read it.
Oh, and to that one guy who mocked me for giving them more publicity:
This ain't exactly Meet the Press. This is Meet the Fish. :P
 justagrlwithacat
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 12
keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/26/2011 5:21:24 PM
I think it's a dumb experiment, but give it a year or two of pressure and their kid socializing with other kids, and the novelty of "ooo we're such progressively thinking parents" will wear off and experiment over.
I don't think it's worth getting worked up overand the people who get freaked right out like this talk- radio host I heard today just need to relax.
 SAguy_06
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 13
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 5/30/2011 10:34:59 AM
I see the parents didnt have any gender questions when they were making li'l baby...

this kid will be ok. So long as this kid grows up normal, to disappoint and dash the hopes of his/her parents...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 14
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 6/5/2011 3:47:49 PM

keeping a newborn's sex a secret.


I would like to share this story, I was giving a Baby shower party, the invitees asked if it is a boy or a girl I asked the mother she doesn't want to disclose the sex of her baby, back to the mother and told her that the
invitees doesn't know what baby's gender clothes to buy,back to the invitees again and give the list of colors for neutral babies to wear.

that would be my last hosting a baby shower...


 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 15
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 6/5/2011 9:34:41 PM
Thanks for asking saharam, yes after the party I told about this discussion". why is she not going for checkup,"? this is a modern country" Auntie", no relation to these people just friends bla bla bla !!!! then the mother told me the gender of the baby and I asked her why all theses dramas for the guests to buy the child clothes maybe they want to buy some girly clothes ,boys style clothes ,or they have some un use clothes in their closet, I told the guests to buy her diapers or formula and Iwas told there are gender diapers, and you don't buy just any brand of formula it has to be doctors approval. The mother told me it is her boyfriend who doesn't want the people to know the gender of her baby. Then it was not a surprise anymore when she gave birth to a boy and I was blamed that I tooted the gender of her baby and I have to investigate the sources for I did not tell to anyone and I don't care.. Well, those people knows because her neck is dark and her nose is big and her stomach is not like a watermelon it is pointed,which I did not notice any of those..I think she can save herself some money for ultra sound or whatever hightech instrument by asking her friends..................lol
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 16
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keeping your newborn's sex a secret
Posted: 6/6/2011 9:59:31 AM
Maybe the baby is a hermphrodite and they don't want to surgically alter it.

I doubt it will last. And if it does, I pity the poor child. Sounds like their parents are screwy.
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