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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have      Home login  
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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1
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When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you havePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
a particular question, maybe a "favorite" you like to ask, other than usual...."how long have you lived in _______?" I do and I'll share it, although I don't always remember to ask it, because I'm enjoying the immediate conversation.

My question is "Is there something you've always wanted to have or experience in a relationship that you haven't had or experienced yet?" I realize it's a little open ended, but some of the responses I've gotten were "I'd like to feel admired", "I'd like to have more intimacy than just sexual"....those are all I remember.

So what's your question?
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 2
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 3:14:28 PM
"what's the one thing you're hoping I won't ask you".

Amazing how that brings up things right away :)
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 3
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 3:37:44 PM
How would you describe your personality?

Both interesting and very telling.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 4
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 4:19:32 PM
What is your best quality as a person? I don't want to hear what your friends think, but what you think your best quality is?. On the flip side! What is your worst quality? . What character flaw are you battling with that's stopping you from being the best you can be?.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 5
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 4:35:36 PM
I usually ask, "do you own a gun?" That sorts things out rather quickly.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 6
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 4:59:23 PM
My favorite was ``What color panties are you wearing?''
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 7
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 6:09:12 PM

My favorite was ``What color panties are you wearing?''


I use that one too. If he answers with style/color I know he isn't for me. :(
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 8
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When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 6:31:56 PM
I have heard some initial meetings (“meet and greet”) described as similar to a job interview. I never fully understand that until I read this thread.



"what's the one thing you're hoping I won't ask you".




How would you describe your personality?




What is your best quality as a person? I don't want to hear what your friends think, but what you think your best quality is?. On the flip side! What is your worst quality? . What character flaw are you battling with that's stopping you from being the best you can be?.


I have had those EXACT questions asked of me on job interviews. Come on people, get a clue.



My favorite was ``What color panties are you wearing?''


^^^^ Now this is more like it!
 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 9
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When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 6:37:41 PM
Well, I usually try to get to know the person by talking about common interests. If they like baseball, I am pretty sarcastic ("Evil Yankees, Loser socks, who likes the mets?") I find out what their passions are and talk about them. I find out whether they like snowboarding, billiards, amusement parks, etc. Who is their favorite comedian? I can pick out any random thing and make a discussion about it. (Do you like Jones Soda? No, you have not, come to my apartment right now and I can show you what it tastes like. ) Dating should be fun, I try to always make it fun regardless if the chemistry is not there. I love playing pool and pretend that I really stink at it. I miss most of my shots. Then when we are talking I'll be looking at them while I am making shots (Color of Money) and then the girl figures out that I am actually good.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 10
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:29:16 PM
"If you had one hour to spend with someone, anyone, past or present, whom would it be and why?"
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 11
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 7:36:13 PM
I usually ask "how long have you lived......" that's typically my question. But I also ask questions involving what they mention in their profile.

Like if they enjoy hiking and kayaking, I ask them what their favorite park they like to do these activities.

My questions depend on what they have in their profile, so it can vary from profile to profile.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 12
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/5/2011 10:52:36 PM

What is your best quality as a person? I don't want to hear what your friends think, but what you think your best quality is?.

I'd rather know what their ex wife thought, but I'd never ask it.
 Snappy_Turtle
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 13
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 4:42:03 AM
OP,
I never encountered any question like the ones being put forth here.

The focus when I got grilled seemed to be on what I did for a living; if I had kids still at home; and how many times I had been married.

Me self, I didn't employ the 20-questions technique, but whatever works.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 14
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 4:54:35 AM
"Is there something you've always wanted to have or experience in a relationship that you haven't had or experienced yet?"

to me, that sounds an awful lot like "would you like me to tie you upside down by your ankles from the rafters and shove an apple into your mouth while i beat yer azz end with a hickory stick" but then again that probably reveals something about the way my mind works. so i'd feel a lil' squirmy if somebody asked me that particular question as part of an "inititial" contact.

i don't have a script. never really thought about it, but i do save the more probing questions for later conversations assuming we make it that far. gotta sneak up on these old dogs real slow and gradual....
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 15
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 5:42:28 AM
I don't have any initial questions.

I meet so many first time clients in my business that I have no problem socializing for a coffee or drink.
There is lots to laugh and talk about.
I'm not here to know your life story, or how your mind clicks.
I will figure that out in time .
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 16
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When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 6:04:17 AM
I don't have any set script, but there are a couple of "conversation starters" I like, that I think gives me some idea of what a person is like: What were you like as a child?
What are your 5 favorite movies? If there are things in a profile, I ask about them if they strike me. I just about always ask about someone's job - what it is exactly they DO (e.g. "consultant" could mean about 100 different things), do they like it, etc. Not really a "job interview" checklist, but common things for me to bring up early.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 7:49:11 AM
Oh that is easy.

What do you like better, crack cocaine or Meth?

Are you friendly with your parole officer?

When you get stopped by a cop what do you think about first? Ditching your stash? Hiding your open container? Telling him that you have a concealed weapon? Remembering how much money you have in your wallet and would he go for it?

 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 18
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 9:33:18 AM
I use that one too. If he answers with style/color I know he isn't for me. :(

The most frequent answer I got was, ``None.'' I guess that works both ways.

"what's the one thing you're hoping I won't ask you".

My shoe size.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 19
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 10:05:20 AM
If you had a theme song that was played whenever you entered a room, what would it be?

And: How close is the nearest methadone clinic to your house - I tend to get a little strung out and have a hard time navigating more than 6 blocks.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 20
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 10:44:08 AM

I have had those EXACT questions asked of me on job interviews. Come on people, get a clue.

Unlike your job interviews, this is just for fun. Sarcasm, humor and mutual teasing is a wonderful ice breaker, don't 'ya think?
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 21
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 11:08:23 AM
• What's the best thing you liked about your Ex? Yes, I like to know WHY people LIKE each other, not so much why they don't like each other.

• What are some of the best TRIPS you've ever taken? Shows the range of travel someone is willing to partake in. Travel is important to me, so if someone says "The local bowling alley" I would know to skip that person over in making travel plans.

• Yes - I have a theme song: "Going Under" by DEVO
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 22
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 11:23:27 AM
When I first meet someone, I like to just have casual conversations.
Maybe about where we are (ie bookstore, coffee shop, beach, etc),
maybe a little about your family (kids), maybe something about
something funny or interesting in the local news. I don't like any sort
of interview questions (where do you see yourself in 5 years...gag),
and if I were asked them, I'd probably be sarcastic or dense. It's not
like we're going to get along anyways and I don't care if I get the
job.

I like the old days when you met someone because you had a common
interest and you talked about that...and talking about that turned into
talking about something else and so on and so on.

If you like someone well enough, I'm guessing there will be plenty of time
for serious conversations. But that's just my opinion of course. I've met
people with a litany of "important queries", and it's never boded well for
future correspondence.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 23
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When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 11:52:05 AM
I agree that these sound like job interview questions......and would definately turn me off real quick if asked on an initial date.
Way too "heavy" for my taste.

I prefer some light conversations to feel each other out....usually just an extension of the conversations we've already started before meeting.

Food likes and dislikes....I won't date a real picky eater
Music tastes ..... don't want to date someone with complete opposite music tastes
Hobbies or activities .... if watching TV is their favorite hobby we aren't a match
Family .... is everything out of their mouth negative?
Pets .... I have them and prefer someone that isn't allergic or hates a dog in the house

my main goal of an initial meet is to watch how he treats those around him....
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 24
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 12:01:58 PM
I think online dating promotes these types of questions.
Everyone is is such a rush to "find the one".
In real life these types of questions don't happen.
Could you imagine meeting someone at a grocery store and start grilling them like this.
They would wonder what the hell was wrong with you.

If I meet someone, I keep the conversation light and fun.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 25
When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have
Posted: 6/6/2011 12:03:43 PM
I would want to know what the pay rate is, what's the benefit package, how long is the probationary period, will I get a raise after three months, and is there room for advancement.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > When you're having your initial contacts with someone, do you have