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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Having feelings in a FWB situation?      Home login  
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 4
Having feelings in a FWB situation? Page 1 of 1    
You can't help but feel the way do so at this point, you must first think of YOURSELF first... just like all other times and this is no different. So forget all the other women inhis past and think about what you want to do now. If you think you would like to date him, simply brinh up the subject of people at times going from FWB to dating, and see how he responds and take it from there.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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Having feelings in a FWB situation?
Posted: 6/6/2011 4:47:19 AM
What makes this different from most of the "starting to have feelings for FWB" scenarios people bring ere, is the exact age and background of the each of you. Not wildly unique, just not the standard FWB.
Most of the time, people who enter into that mode, and struggle with feelings later, did so cheerfully and purposely. You didn't, you became involved with the fellow, and then learned that he's wary of letting go, due to previous feelings of victimization.
I'm thinking along the lines of the fellow who said to accept that in your age range, painful difficulties like this are bound to happen. Yes, you MIGHT be serving as a form of "rebound girl" for this guy, but it's not certain. More likely, you are on course to be a confirmation for him that "women leave, so don't fantasize too hard over them," especially if you leave on the grounds that he's not willing to commit. I remember that stage for myself.
Your options appear to be...first, to take him on as he is. That's a given. If you want to be with him, you have to accept that he IS damaged goods. If you, at 22, are only looking for a guy who does at least THINK he's ready to commit, then this isn't the guy. If , on the other hand, you are willing to be in a LEARNING relationship, where you both discover things about yourself, and about other people as you both suffer and enjoy yourself, then give this one a go.
It MIGHT be that he will stay as he is BECAUSE you stay, but it's also possible that you're sticking around will make him hope again, and he'll change, and stay around too. Given the age range, you are probably both in for more confusion than certainty, either way.
So, the question is, are you up for what comes by exploring your feelings for this guy, and finding out what might or might not be, or are you at a point where you only want the appearance of commitment?
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 6
Having feelings in a FWB situation?
Posted: 6/6/2011 5:44:52 AM
You are talking to this person every day and he tells you he does not want you to leave which has somehow triggered you to think that you should leave, correct? As I've said before, the biggest impediment to a relationship is the people themselves.

Trust me, this is not the first and most certainly will not be the last time there is a risk of getting hurt. My advice is you should stick with this it doesn't work anymore. Don't throw a monkey wrench at your relationships until things are really not going well for you.

If you are not happy, leave. If you are happy, stay.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 7
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Having feelings in a FWB situation?
Posted: 6/6/2011 7:52:46 AM
I agree with M Church. I've been friends with a guy who for months tried talking me into being FWB and said he was afraid of love. He started out saying he wanted a relationship though. We talked every day and my friends and family, thought we were like two peas in a pod. If I didn't talk to him for a day, he wrote to me wondering where I was. I finally gave in thinking he wanted more too, despite what he said. After all he was jealous of other guys and did the kissing on the forehead thing too. When he disappeared I was left feeling hurt. The only difference was he was close to 50 not 22.

He has told you he doesn't want a commitment so don't continue being FWB thinking he will change his mind. You will get hurt when he moves on to someone else.
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