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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Why do men do this?      Home login  
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 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 2
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Why do men do this?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
they do it because women allow it. no, it is not worth it.
 redraider609
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 4
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 12:44:17 AM
I could easily turn your original question around and present a counter-question of my own: "Why do women choose to date men who act like this?" It is completely up to you. Simple solution: stop dating low-quality boys. Work on your character judgment so that this won't happen again, and everything should be fine.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 7
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 1:07:23 AM

I suppose I hate hurting people's feelings, but I guess sometimes it just has to happen.


How concerned were they about hurting your feelings when they decided to "see how things go with someone else"?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 8
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 4:16:25 AM
A couple of things about your couple of things, OP.

There are two reasons why I think so many folks counsel against waiting. The second is that they've tried it, and had discovered that the relationship was actually over when the waiting began, and that it just took a while to realize it. Sometimes, perhaps often, and certainly your described experience matches this, the person who asks you to wait is REALLY just asking you to give them the psychological comfort of a fall-back position, while they go and try to get what they REALLY want elsewhere.

The first is, that the waiting itself isn't any fun. It hurts, and stirs up resentment in oneself to sit and wait, watching someone else go for what looks like fun, or at least progress in their life. The resentment is the main reason I wouldn't recommend waiting. Even if you care about someone, and even if they really do care about you,and even if they ARE really just sorting things out in order to be able to fully commit later, the fact that they are to be free, while at the same time you are doing nothing and feeling alone, is bound to result in your having a relationship destroying emotional reaction. Essentially, the act of 'waiting,' kills YOUR love for THEM.

As to remaining, or more accurately, becoming friends with them later, I rarely see that happen. Especially in the 'waiting' scenario, with what I described, becoming real friends with someone you come to resent or disrespect for their inability to make up their minds isn't likely. I think that too, might be an emotional 'fall-back position,' designed to make it easier to move on, without feeling quite as alone as we really are.
 MistyckSweetpea
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 16
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 12:39:16 PM

need to get stuff worked out first.



Man speak for I already have a girlfriend but I will be happy to fu*k you too.


Or manspeak for, "You'd just be a FWB, but I need to figure out how to get it to go that direction."
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 17
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 2:24:43 PM

This is the second time I've been in a relationship with a guy where he says he wants to see how things go with someone else, which has been fine with me, but then they come back and tell me how big of a mistake it was to leave me and they regret it.

Why don't you tell them that you hope it goes fine because you don't want to hear from them again if it doesn't?

is it worth waiting for him to get his stuff worked out?

I'd say no, but I'm anal about only wanting to date someone who wants to date me and knows it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 19
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/20/2011 5:31:57 PM
Because you continuouslly answer the phone when these guys answer the phone for round 2 ???????

Don't let them. As simple as it gets.
 Ms Cheevious
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 20
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/21/2011 5:48:45 AM
You have ALLOWED them to make you an "option with benefits".


is it worth waiting for him to get his stuff worked out?


um...no

Tell these clowns to point their compass to E and get the hell out of your airspace!
 Exjrsygrl
Joined: 4/11/2010
Msg: 22
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/21/2011 11:52:41 AM
You're being played. Just remember most people will get away with as much as you allow them to!
 simplegal67
Joined: 4/27/2010
Msg: 24
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/22/2011 9:23:57 PM
I would never allow myself to be somebody's OPTION. Don't settle to be put on the back burner:(
 barleyboy
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 25
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/23/2011 10:59:18 AM
Not all men do this. I would stay away from someone like that.
If they do it now, they'll do it later, when it really matters.
 barleyboy
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 26
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/23/2011 11:01:51 AM
Ms. Chiveous,

Are you related to Ann Cognito? No one seem to know who she is.

Same with Ann Nonymous.

No one seems to know her real name.
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 27
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/23/2011 1:24:27 PM
If I'm second best once, I know I could be second best again and I'm only a stop gap. So no I would not go into a relationship with them....may be friendship, it depends...

I am able to switch from lovers to friends, but only if I am truly over the lovers part...if I'm not I steer well clear..
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 28
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/23/2011 1:30:55 PM
Message 34 well said its very true..also go by actions and how they actually tray you and make you feel, not by what they say...
Remember people do things because they can...At the age of 50 I have learnt if it happens once it WILL happen again.
 hargoth
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 29
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/25/2011 2:49:36 AM
worth waiting no. And why do men do this, Its most likely a commitment issue. Which any more is more common among men then women. The right man after a few months won't even be able to look at another woman and think what about her... quit playing with the boys and find a real man. But with out being too harsh, I really do wish you best of luck.

Keith
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 30
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/25/2011 7:12:20 AM
Probably men do it for the same reason women do it.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 31
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/25/2011 10:12:04 AM
How many times must I tell people this..... Love is a tough game and you have to learn to play hardball !


This is the second time I've been in a relationship with a guy where he says he wants to see how things go with someone else, which has been fine with me

Yea, that's the whole problem.... it's always fine with you, isn't it ?
You should tell them it's NOT fine with you and they should go back who they really want.

Then they "need to get stuff worked out first."

You'll be amazed at how quickly they get stuff worked out when it suits them.


I am an understanding and forgiving person,

It's admirable to be understanding and forgiving but don't be a damn fool about it.
Are you looking for a lover or starting a monastery ?
 bigshrek
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 33
Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/25/2011 4:12:57 PM
Guys under 30 generally have no idea what they want, other than a hottie who will give them much sex.

That's the entire thing about guys. No magical answers, they just want nookie...that's all.
 mxlopix
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 34
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 6/26/2011 1:55:30 AM
He is working nothing out...You are handy and usable. You are the plan B girl
 mikeyman69
Joined: 5/20/2011
Msg: 37
Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:41:59 PM
hes testing ur interest in him
 mikeyman69
Joined: 5/20/2011
Msg: 38
Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:48:48 PM
can some one figure out why im not getting any hits please, this is irritating :P
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 39
Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/15/2011 7:07:35 PM
This is the second time I've been in a relationship with a guy where he says he wants to see how things go with someone else, which has been fine with me, but then they come back and tell me how big of a mistake it was to leave me and they regret it. Then they "need to get stuff worked out first." I am an understanding and forgiving person, but this drives me bananas!!! Why do guys do this and is it worth waiting for him to get his stuff worked out?


Testing how high in a woman, as he sees women, as he can go maybe?

Swing and a strike.

Seems like he's realizing he cant do better than you, at his own pace Who knows; maybe he sucks, or maybe you ARE that good. I wouldnt wait; I would live my own life,and have my own selfish fun while he is out striking out.

Maybe YOU find someone better than him, and if not, oh well....all even.... and its decided.

I'd definitely make him mow your lawn and do your house renos as punishment though. [Careful; I am sorta kidding...sorta. This could make him feel like aloser and even SEEM a looser to your surroundings, and THIS would mean that YOU have a loser as your partner] <--Partners....are one. ;)



I missed where it said "TWO" men. YOU should buy a horse farm,and use em as loveslaves and stable boys!!

Heck; see if you can find a few more!! (lol)

And marry someone who "doesnt" suck at relationship baseball

Does anyone think it is possible to still remain friends with someone after a situation like this?


Maybe if you're bored sometime.

I'd give em the low tier friendship plan though; its really where they deserve to be with you...no? [an example is the girl who stood me up when I had an amazing date set up for her..TWICE. She called me back and let meknow she was ready to date one night, on amoents notice. I had no plans really; so decided to be a good man and take her out....to the taco bell....around the corner] (I was hungry for a snack....so.why not..and ya..I did agree to go because I wanted a cheap snack myelf...why) ;P

She looked so cute and perfect; all pis*ed off in her brand new 200 dollar Parasuco jeans and Tommy Sport for her shirt. [I thanked her for the company, and walked home, full with tacos and content]

Hope she had a fantastic night!! :D

She called back, probably to yell at me; I didnt bother answering. (all due respect right)

becoming real friends with someone you come to resent or disrespect for their inability to make up their minds isn't likely.


Use em as you see fit; until they decide they dont want to be in the inferior spot anymore. ;)

From what I get it bugs him


Naturally; because you are in control of your own life; where he has to take what he gets; which apparently isnt so satisfying :)


can some one figure out why im not getting any hits please, this is irritating :P


None of us do really; its normal. (its not you; its them) lol

Try getting your profile checked on the profile board.
 CheckPrime
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 43
Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/16/2011 2:02:11 AM
The appropriate response to this is to tell em to go **** himself.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 44
Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/16/2011 3:37:19 AM
ur 22 yrs. old for gods sake...they are using you because you are easy...u need to keep busy and worry about getting a job and improvoing your life..which doesnt require a man!!
 GuitarHero68
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 45
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Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/16/2011 3:31:06 PM
redraider609 hit the nail on the head. Besides, you're too pretty to have to deal with losers who WON'T - and that's the key word here - commit to you.
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