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 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 2
Women looking for an honest manPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Hello Kowboi,
For me it is about how much the man is self aware and can represents himself accurately. I have met some very nice men that are honest, but haven't been self reflective to know their faults and short comings. Yes, they were honest, but didn't have a clue to why they might not be marketing themselves honestly. Unless asked, I don't feel it is my place to enlighten them.

Then there is always that elusive spark that we all look for, where everything falls into place and just "feels right." That has nothing to do with honesty.

I’m sorry I cannot be more specific to your particular issue. I have always enjoyed your posts and find you to be self aware, insightful and forthright.
 Nubby944
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 4
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:16:41 AM
Dude, my issue is when women say " I want a good man" but then they seem to pick the pieces of crap and pass guys like me up who would treat them well. I'm starting to think that its all a load of crap and become jaded with this.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 6
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/2/2011 2:04:02 PM
Real-Fake-Real-Fake
Store bought-Not store bought...
Mows the lawn-dos not mow the lawn...
I don't know but when you find out please tell me
 BobStrick2
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 7
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:45:37 AM
Actually, I think the problem here is that women want honesty when they want it. As a pointed out to a very nice person down in K Falls, "Total honesty would require that I come into a hospital room and tell you, damn, you look like crap." She agreed that maybe what she wanted was me being less than honest about some things.

What I really think is that women in general want us to honestly re enforce what they believe about themselves.
 SportBikePDX
Joined: 10/9/2010
Msg: 9
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:52:08 PM
Most woman dont want good men... They want attractive men who treat them like crap. If it wasnt true, they wouldnt end up with these guys in the first place. There are to many nice guys that will treat them well...But we might not be good looking enough, or whatever isnt good enough. Don't let them fool ya brother, if they wanted a good guy they would be with one.
 Stayton
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 10
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/11/2011 2:58:06 PM
we want good men and men want good women...and the attraction has to be there to start things off...but beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and being a good guy or gal has nothing to do with looks
 iconic
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 12
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/12/2011 2:33:03 PM
I don't remember joining. Money drives the world.
 Lifesthelimit
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 13
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/18/2011 10:41:52 PM
I’ve most recently been in a discussion with my friend over honesty, and how honest one should be in their profile description (pertaining to who you’re really are attracted to). As Stayton already mentioned, “attraction has to be there to start”. Needless to say, I’ve noticed a lot of dishonesty just in that. I’m attracted to athletic woman, and for a number of reasons I consider sound. Others may not! I’ve tried a number of ways to show an honest approach at expressing that in my profile, but nothing seems to work to discourage those I’m not looking for, or attract those that are looking for the same. What I’ve found “Honesty” whether it be in a heading, title, or profile description; it’s lacking across the board!

I guess I’ll continue swimming around.
 Stayton
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 14
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/19/2011 12:30:49 PM
it doesn't matter how many times you say it in your profile "Life" people will view you and message you..key is to be polite and just say sorry not interested...i find even a simple let down like that is more appreciated than being ignored or not answered.
 Lifesthelimit
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 15
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/19/2011 7:18:54 PM
+1 (I totally agree!)
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 16
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/20/2011 1:39:56 PM
It is important to have a sexual attraction with someone. I dont think it is a bad thing to want to be attracted to someone and want someone that is nice. I have met alot of people that are the greatest guys ever but its not my fault that I dont find them attractive physicaly. That doesn't make me a shallow person it is just the way I think anyone is. I think that sometimes you can begin to have physical attraction with someone because of their personality but it doesn't always work that way off the bat. However I dont put the type of men I'm physicaly attracted too inside my profile, the reason being is because when I see a guys profile that says "only looking for in-shape women" I dont know what is exceptable to them, so I dont even want to try because when I think of in-shape women I think of models lol and that is really sad that that is what our society makes us think but it is true. And that may not be what they mean but it means something different to everyone.
 Lifesthelimit
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 17
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:40:13 PM
That’s one of the debacles of perception. I think all of us have a particular acuity based on our personal outlook of ourselves, or others use society for their gauge. I don’t bother looking into anything, and if I really question something I’ll ask. In most cases you’ll never get a response, but who cares? Making an honest effort to demonstrate cognizant thought exhibits an elevated sense of self…I think! Plus, curiosity is one of the best tools at our disposal. Utilize it! If someone can’t be honest, they aren’t honest (how I see it). I’ve yet to ask any of the women on here that write things like “looking for honest man”, but maybe that’s my own error. That could be a very education experience. Try asking what “in-shape” means to them.
 808md
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 18
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/22/2011 11:19:22 PM
What’s up with all these invented dichotomies? There is no reason that a man (or a woman) can’t be attractive and nice. Or even attractive, educated, honest, and nice.
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 20
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:36:29 AM
Okay....what does in shape mean to you......
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 22
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:44:34 AM
Okay but the thing is, is that height and weight proportionate is based on the individual person as well, because if you read those little charts in the doctors office I would have to be 120 to be considered height and weight proportionate, and I'm not, but I think I'm pretty proportionate Lol
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 24
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:55:16 AM
Of cource. I was pointing out how it could mean so many different things so it is hard to distinguish when one puts it in their profile.
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 26
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:14:12 AM
How I would discribe a real man, is someone that knows right from wrong and can act on it, doesn't let "what other people think" influence these decisions, Looks out for the best of the relationship and doesn't give up when times get tough, someone who understands that their are different types of beauty other then models, Someone who can talk out how they feel and also be willing to listen to how I feel, and not only listen but try and put that "in play" with things they do. Somone who tries and think how their decisions might impact people who love them. A guy that has goals and aspirations in life other then leveling up in a video game, and can realize and APPRECIATE the things in life that they have rather then always wanting bigger and better. Just a simple, realistic, nice, gentleman. But I think all these qualities woman should have too, and I think I could keep going on a little bit more with this but those are like the biggest things that come to my mind when I'm looking for a man.
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 28
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:30:20 AM
Yes but you would be suprised how many men lack that, I know women too but since I'm not looking for a women, a man is where I see it lol And yes I agree with you that I will never find someone my own age that is like that, that is why I prefer to date older men who have found those qualities.
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 30
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:56:46 AM
When I say older I wouldn't be objected to date men 10-15 years older then I'am. I would never date younger then I am.
 naysaying_knicktwist
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 31
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:26:45 PM
Isn't 'Looking for an Honest Man' setting the bar low - shouldn't honesty be a given?
 bree1240
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 32
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 8/2/2011 12:35:57 AM
It should be but some people can state they are an honest person but in reality they aren't. Or there are different types of honesty some more exceptable then others are.
 EnjoyingLife1950
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 33
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 9/1/2011 9:45:16 PM
Well, I think it's 50-50 - women want honest men and end up with losers and men want honest women and end up with losers. To often men and women go for "looks" and don't take the time to get to know someone who doesn't fall into their category, whatever that is. Also, both men and women need to be honest with not only the other person, but themselves. They try too hard in a relationship that they give up on their ethics and personal values.
I believe that a lot of men and women put things on their profile that is not always honest - such as "a few pounds overweight" when it is much more, not being totally honest about the age they put in their profile. Sometimes I think I am a little to honest and that is what turns men off as I am sure there are some men out there who feel the same way.
 unspoiled
Joined: 9/25/2011
Msg: 34
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History
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 10/16/2011 9:24:17 AM
As one guy mentioned, if women wanted honesty they would have it as it's freely available by a small percentage of men, but it's just so easy to be enthralled with danger such as doing drugs, acting tough smoking cigarettes, revolting against parents and ending up with crappy men. How else do so many women end up with kids and the guy has left the picture?

Had women chose the right kind of guy (of the good 20% or so) from the beginning there would be so few single moms and the rest of the bad behavior men would have to change for the better to be accepted but while women love crappy men, they don't have a reason to change.
 Fandango
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 35
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 2/5/2012 10:00:05 PM
Most people are not honest. It is stupid to say you want an honest person or claim to be an honest person because that proves nothing.
 Secondary125
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 36
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History
Women looking for an honest man
Posted: 4/16/2012 9:52:09 AM
As some people have touched upon, things like 'honest man' and 'nice man' are just buzz words that a lot of women have learned. I honestly think they mean:

"A man who doesn't play the game and will treat me as an equal."

But as another person already hit upon in this thread, a lot of women again ignore their own advice. Even in their own profiles, they will ask for a complete opposite like a 'nice man' and 'someone who will take charge and make me feel safe in his arms'. They will then go out and find someone who makes them feel submissive and safe, and then they will break up with them after they feel smothered and dominated.

I'm not trying to say you can't find a guy who is tall dark, handsome and strong but also gives you your space and treats you like an equal. I'm just trying to say...it seems like they say one thing and then look for another.
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