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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?      Home login  
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 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 1
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight? Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
I met this man on POF we talked for hours day and night he came here to see me and we spent 2 days together, we were insuperable and I knew right away something I was feeling was wonderful. I then when to see him the next week and we had the most wonderful day together, I had to guard my heart from the feeling of falling in love with him.. now I am happy I did. He had a panic attack and was gone in an instant. I cried for days wondering what I had done wrong,,
So my question is what was I really feeling? Was it Love at first Sight or was it just something I wanted and I made it up in my mind?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 2
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:51:48 PM
NO....But there is lust at first sight.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 3
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:52:13 PM

He had a panic attack and was gone in an instant.


My condolences on your loss.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 4
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:55:31 PM
Thank you for your condolences I was a little lost for a few days.. he brought me gifts and took me to meet his mom and dad and his daughter, I do not understand what happen.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 5
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:57:21 PM
Do you mean gone as he died or gone as he made a beeline to the nearest airport?
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 6
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:59:14 PM
He just stopped calling and texting and I could not get a hold of him.. I called 3 days later and he said he had a panic attach and he would call me back but never did... I guess what I really want to know is what it was that I was feeling? I have never felt that way... Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 7
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:00:35 PM
No I don't believe in love at first sight, lust or infatuation yes.
How do you love someone without knowing them?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:01:57 PM
What you experienced was a chemical high.


The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule’). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical.

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/love-its-all-about-the-chemistry.-or-is-it-1016.html


It starts off as lust.

Then ... as you find commonalities it progresses to love
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 9
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:02:09 PM

He had a panic attack and was gone in an instant
Were you at least with him at the hospital when he went? Hopefully he didn't suffer too much. At least you can take solace in knowing it was instant.


I cried for days wondering what I did wrong
Ohhh please don't blame yourself. I am sure you did nothing wrong. How were you supposed to anticipate him having a panic attack?. My condolences on your loss also. The next guy you meet make sure he is tested for Panicattackanisis before you get too close to him. You don't want a repeat episode.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 10
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:05:12 PM
Maybe your right but I thought after hours of conversation you really get to know someone. Every one wants to spend time together but when you spend hours of conversation, days and nights,,, is that not better then sitting in a room where the physical is all you have to go on? Am I that off base?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 11
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:10:26 PM

he said he had a panic attach and he would call me back but never did


That part is sad.
Maybe he was feeling the same about you, and ended up with a panic attach.
My daughter has them, and they are not pleasant.
One of my clients, who is a counselor just ended up bedridden for 4 weeks, as she went through a spell.

I would suggest you give him some time.
Be kind, and offer him whatever assistance he needs.

Keep in mind this is something that he is dealing with.
He may have been dealing with this his entire life.
So if you decide to move forward with this relationship in progress,
then it may not be an easy task.

Be prepared and really watch.
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 12
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:14:13 PM
It wasn't love. Love requires you to really know someone and that really takes time. You can't really speed it up with phone calls and emails. It takes face time together. What you felt was the excitement of attraction and infatuation but not love. This type of thing happened to me last month with someone off POF. But when the rubber hit the road, the relationship hit some real snags when the going got just a little tough and it fell apart real quick. Not as quick as yours did but relatively quick. The funny thing was, as strong as I thought I felt, those feelings were gone really fast so I knew it wasn't a strong love that I was feeling. It was a young love but not a serious love.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 13
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:50:54 PM
UFC and TDH

Beware of low flying sarcasm...hovering supra-cranial.

I wonder...OP...if you feelings of "love" at first sight may have caused the panic attach. Even with the groundwork prior to a face to face...many of us would find it scary after only two days of it.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 14
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:51:50 PM
Yes.
you are.
The hours of conversations is off based.
The physical is real.

To guard your heart better,
meet sooner.
and don't go all gooey till after a successful 3rd date.
Till then... it's just you feeling it and one sided.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:01:05 PM

meet sooner.


Bingo, bingo, bingo.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 16
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:19:50 PM
TDH49, She said he didn't die, he just never called her back and she's wondering on her part is it love at first sight or is there such thing.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 17
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:28:31 PM
but I thought after hours of conversation you really get to know someone. Every one wants to spend time together but when you spend hours of conversation, days and nights


THAT was the problem.. Going from zero to 60 does NOT a relationship make..
Phenylethylamine is the brains hotrod fuel, but you know how those hotrods only go 1/4 mile?

Next time, start slower with regular 2 hour dinner dates, then escalate to sleepovers in time (weeks) which will allow both parties time to go home to think, recuperate and recharge..


I cried for days wondering what I had done wrong

You both unrealistically instantly focused all your magical hopes and expectations on each other in the throes of infatuation and lust..
Happens to many people in bars, is enabled more these days by instant internet chatting false intimacy..
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:41:29 PM
In a nutshell (not a real nutshell mind you), the answer is, of course,

YES.

There IS such a thing as "love at first sight."

What matters here (and almost always that I've seen), though, is what YOU want that love to mean in a functional way. You seem to be a bit confused about that. You are asking rather desperately if love at first site can happen, as if you are trying to validate something about yourself by it's reality.

Are you asking, because you are afraid to feel like a fool? Are you asking because you want to either believe in your own perceptions, or angrily denounce them as worthless? Are you trying to decide who to be angry with for the bad time you've had (i.e. yourself, vs whoever brought you up to think L.A.F.S. was easy to recognize, vs this guy for panicking and running)?

The way that the above admonitions to meet sooner and such fit in is, that doing so reduces the amount of pre-fabrication of self delusions you install in yourself. But some folks are less likely to 'let go' and fall in lust if they are cautious about meeting, while others are MORE likely to do so. So I don't know that "meeting quickly" is always a fix, it depends on the person. But it is certainly true that the less time you spend talking yourself into any sort of fantasy, the less likely you are to have it to shove out of the way once you DO finally get together.
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 19
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:45:59 PM
To bad it is usely one sided.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 20
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:30:50 PM
Am I reading this right? Within the space of a week, you met for the first time, spent 2 days together, and the next time you saw him, you met his parents and his daughter?

Too much, too soon, too fast. He was overwhelmed. Unrealistic fantasy is right. Maybe on both your parts.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 21
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:33:17 PM
If you had done a search you would have found a million posts on this subject already.

But no there isn't. You can't love someone you don't know. But if you lust after them at first and it grows into real love, then people will swear it was real at first sight.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 22
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:59:33 PM
igorfrankensteen:


I think you are over analyzing the situation. First of all the only reason I ask was to get others opinions about Love at First sight.
I do not need you to be my therapist! I did not have a Pre-fabricated idea of what would happen and I am not angry at any one. I don't need to have anyone validate how I was feeling nor do I feel like a fool.
I however think that you are the one that is self delusional if you think you are qualified to decide why any one would ask a question with out knowing them or the reason behind the question.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 23
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:08:07 PM
Thank you : U make it entertaining

I will do just that
 InTheNow2011
Joined: 3/31/2011
Msg: 24
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:08:25 PM
OP...if you want to pick and choose the replies to your question maybe you should think about taking your question elsewhere.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 25
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:24:54 PM
sure there is,
there is also the lightening quickness of a rattle snake strike.
Enjoy your speed.
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