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Show ALL Forums  > Michigan  > Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone      Home login  
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 montanagal73
Joined: 10/1/2010
Msg: 1
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someonePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I recently met someone and we instantly clicked and started to see eachother. Whe I said I wanted to be exclusive he seemed a bit reluctant. If two people get along then they should explore that is front of them. Afterall, we are all on here to meet that special someone so why not take the time and invest in the person that you have clicked with...just saying
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 2
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:42:39 PM
As I was told by someone when I asked the same question - he did it because he needed it for his ego.

I suppose it is an addiction, always looking for the next best thing. Funny though, a person like that may never find it even if it is standing right before him. He will end up a heck of a lot older and less desirable when he finally figure out that he let the best thing slip away.

Some peoples kids.

 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 3
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:51:39 PM
There is nothing wrong with staying on POF if you use the forums. There is another thread with this same title with posters who think it is ok if in a relationship and others who think the people are cheaters who still have profiles on a dating site.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11645225.aspx

However, I think your profile should reflect your relationship status. If the guy you are seeing is reluctant to commit to you then maybe you and him are not as compatible as you thought.


I met my SO on another dating site and I waited approximately two months to ask him if we should be exclusive. I didn't want to scare him away by getting serious too soon. We have been together for over 2 years and both of us still keep hidden profiles here to use the forums. We trust each other and know it's not about searching for a better match.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 4
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 7/1/2011 9:42:19 PM
Why do people go to the bar if they have all this booze at home?
To socialize, and to talk with their buddies, and see what's going on.
Same here, they hang out at the forum - only from the privacy of their own den.

Just change your profiles to say you are not on the prowl any more.


 smartazzjohn
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 5
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 7/2/2011 6:00:25 AM

I recently met someone and we instantly clicked and started to see eachother. Whe I said I wanted to be exclusive he seemed a bit reluctant.



I would be a LOT reluctant if someone I RECENTLY started seeing told me they wanted to be exclusive. It would send up all kinds of red flags and I'm not being rushing or pressured into an "exclusive" relationship with anyone even if we do click because it takes time to get to know someone. If you truly "clicked" that much becoming exclusive will just happen without saying anything.


Afterall, we are all on here to meet that special someone so why not take the time and invest in the person that you have clicked with


It would be more mature, prudent and make more sense to take the time getting to know someone you click with BEFORE INVESTING too much in my opinion.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 6
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 8/15/2011 6:47:01 AM
There are a lot of places to discuss the issues of life beside a dating site. There are a lot of places to make platonic friends beside a dating site.
 benxk1
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 7
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 8/31/2011 9:13:51 AM
The forum users have a clique thing going, and everyone else (on the dating side, as if this was not part of that) is just looking for the B.B.D. (bigger, better deal). It is the way of the age, no one is serious about dating or falling in love any longer it seems.
 Gentleman_Adventurer
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 8
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:36:48 AM
Take a hint. Maybe you're not his dream girl. Any more stupid questions?
 ItsALWAYSworthit
Joined: 6/27/2010
Msg: 9
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 9/24/2011 2:58:30 AM
I love it when people say that they stay on POF to keep in touch with the friends they've made. If I consider someone a friend, I'll have their phone number and I won't need POF to keep in touch. These people are looking for and waiting on a better offer - simple as that...
 brokedown22
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 10
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 9/26/2011 1:06:51 AM
I believe if you are on pof after meeting someone that you should put it on your profile and let everyone else know.. I have a boyfriend and only come on here when I am bored and like to chat but that it is nothing else.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 11
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 9/26/2011 5:13:02 AM
"Just as someone elses definition of "friend" that they are geographically far apart, never talked to on the phone, and probably never will, and need PoF to keep in touch is also valid."

As I stated prior. there are a lot of forums to discuss life outside of POF. Since I do post political statements and comment on life in general on other sites, I am not on POF to add clutter.

Regarding friends vs. friends; even a forum friend should have your real email address. How would you know if he/she contacted or responded to something you posted unless you checked on every forum you have posted. If one has time to do this, then they do have time to look for a job and move out of the basement where they have been living, suking (sinc) down Mountain Dew and playing video games while watching Harry Potter movies.

Most people on POF are here to hopefully meet someone. Yes, too many have unrealistic expectations, but that is why they are here. They really don't care about those that have found someone or who are not looking and their thoughts on anything.

For those that insist they have the right to continue to post on POF I must ask: Is your life that conventional that you must post to justify your existance in the world and to gain attention here?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 12
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 10/5/2011 3:10:21 PM

Afterall, we are all on here to meet that special someone so why not take the time and invest in the person that you have clicked with...

First, not everyone is on here ONLY to meet "that special someone". Many people are wanting to meet others, and not everyone is LTR-or-bust.

Second, if you hit it off, it doesn't mean you're in position to go exclusive automatically. It's no more "expected" than writing someone online for a while and expecting to go email-exclusive on here. Sure, we'd all like that when we move a bit faster than the other, but we can't expect it.

When it's early on, some people don't want to put all their emotional eggs in one basket. Early on, people can vanish, be not interested, etc... and those who want to seemingly (it's subjective) move too fast can scare some people. You at least have to respect that others don't want to go exclusive so fast... if they don't and are reluctant, make sure you keep your options open, too. It can be disappointing if you feel you've dated for several weeks seeing each other at least twice a week and talking frequently + had some level of intimacy. But one not wanting to be exclusive means you may have not hit it off with THEM as much as they've hit it off with YOU.

Sometimes, yes, people can hit it off very strongly with someone, spend tons o time together, and after a while of that, not want to be exclusive, which makes you wonder -- "Uhhh, then why are you spending so much time with me so frequently?" But don't take a date a week for a few weeks as an indicator of going exclusive though, either.
 kissingkimber
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 13
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 10/22/2011 7:29:04 PM
What I have noticed, is most of them are looking to have cake and eat it too. I dont care if they go on pof after we meet but dont hop offline everytime I am on. Then you look super shady. So far I have dated all LOSERS from here but they all lie at first so it takes a few weeks to sift through the B.S and then I find that they are not worth my time.
Its so sad to say that a good honest man is rare these days and if they are then they are not very attractive. So the way I see it is that we are gonna have to settle somewhere.
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 14
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:36:59 AM
Yep bugbaby...i stayed on pof just to talk on the forums and keep updated on the parties...since many of my friends are still here i love to just browse around and read about whats up in the world of pof...i met my dream guy right here on pof...after a crappy ending to a crappy relationship, i wasn't taking this or any other dating site seriously...then one day while just browsing the pics i saw him, all cuddled up with the grandkid...we decided to meet at the local pumpkin patch, and the rest was destiny...we got married on october 15th, with many of my pof friends as my bridesmaids...i love these girls like family...and i was a lucky gal to find someone so perfect for me...so on the subject...

don't let insecurity dictate your life...so what if you chat on the forums here...it's a computer for lords sake...real love has no room for childlike jealousy...the players are real but ha they show their colors quickly...move on to someone that wants "you" in their life period...bear hugs and loud kisses to all...

good luck in your search for love
 Skyedance
Joined: 8/17/2011
Msg: 15
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:08:52 AM
I totally agree with you.
 Skyedance
Joined: 8/17/2011
Msg: 16
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 11/13/2011 3:10:24 AM
Yes, I agree totally.
 Star_Child_360
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 17
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 11/18/2011 12:37:14 AM
They Are Cheaters, Want Thier Cake and Eat it too
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 18
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 12/8/2011 7:52:19 AM
^^^^lmbo...honey i only have room for "one" man, lover, husband in my life..just no one else i care to romp thru life with....sorry you had a bad experience with it...my grandma taught me "don't ever say never"...try not to classify all people in one small clump
 Solitairesway
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 19
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 1/4/2012 1:40:57 PM
In case things don't workout between the two of you. You did state that he was a bit reluctant to be exclusive.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 20
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 1/12/2012 5:29:58 AM
As I stated prior. there are a lot of forums to discuss life outside of POF. Since I do post political statements and comment on life in general on other sites, I am not on POF to add clutter.

Regarding friends vs. friends; even a forum friend should have your real email address. How would you know if he/she contacted or responded to something you posted unless you checked on every forum you have posted. Plus they may have posted on a new forum.

A partial repost with a one sentence addition at the end.
 michkat58
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 21
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Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 1/27/2012 6:17:29 AM
^^^i love poetry...

wow 9 lunch dates eh?...try a pof party...different people at every location...i met some really awesome people here, male and female alike...aww that you blew your lunch money, lol...

i don't visit as often, as posted above i do have email addys...just in case...i still attend events and have a ball...annual camping/and or/canoeing trip coming up the first week of june...it is so much fun, i hope we lure some new fishies out this year, you'll be family by the time you get your tent up ;)...

pof is a great way to meet people...forums are a type of personal opinion venue...interesting...lol, i can sit here and think awwww or a##hole, and no one knows the better...

have an awesome day
@kat
 Natsufatsu
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 22
Why do people stay on POF after they have met someone
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:57:56 PM
I guess some people want to keep their options open. If you guys have decided on making it official and serious, they probably shouldn't be actively using the site unless looking for friends.
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