Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do some women disappear?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BonTemp
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 1
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Alot of interesting experiences on POF, but, vanishing women is getting old. You have emails back and forth and then poof..gone. I think women just chicken out. What happened to a simple meeting for coffee or****ail and see what happens?
I have one that emails me once every week-ten days? If you are too busy or dating is not a priority, why be on the site at all?

Not getting it and most likely will suspend my membership..
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 2
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:05:14 PM
It isnt a female vs male thing; I have had many males do it also.

Some people are too afraid to met but they are lonely so they engage others online until they feel it has progressed too far and then they disappear. They probably do not look like the posted pictures or they are involved with someone else who isnt satisfying all their needs. A man might work out of town and have a profile to entertain himself with in the lonely nights while his wife has one at home she uses...people are screwed up and do things not realizing the effect it has on other people.

It is why I say..no emotional connection until you see the whites of their eyes...otherwise they might not even exist.
 godsplaything
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 2:18:34 AM
I've heard people use this site for chatting. Some don't date, just e-mail. No regection to deal with, I guess. I've had one or two "poof". NEXT! Way too many fish in the sea to worry about one. rock on...............


Tig
 Earthee
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 6:02:59 AM
Most likely the same reason men disappear...
 rudy0023
Joined: 4/15/2011
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 6:36:55 AM
I look to Forest Gump to define online dating... It's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:24:55 AM
You are going to suspend your FREE membership, so as to what: PUNISH all the women here who ignored you? Punish POF for not working like a vending machine, or a pimp?

Sounds to me as though you just are not cut out for internet interactions. I suggest you follow through, and leave. Or, you could take some time, READ all the existing forum threads identical to yours, and MAYBE learn to think about more than just what you want for yourself.
 ekw1234
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 7
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:30:02 AM
They disappear because they are no longer interested in you. Its only online, you can handle that surely... The name of the site is plenty of fish so there are plenty of well, fish. In order to keep someone's interest you have to stand out, not just have a flashy profile but be a really interesting person who is fun to discover. Take it easy and just enjoy the interactions. Personally I am loving it, I have had some men disappear on me and I may have disappeared on some, but I am pleasantly surprised. If dating before online setting was difficult it will probably take some effort in your part here too. POF or any other dating site is not magic, spend some time working on yourself, allow yourself to be uncomfortable, try some new experiences, maybe even seek some professional help and the dating will fall into place. Good luck!!!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 11:01:59 AM
Welcome to on line dating.

I don't think this is for you, and suspending your account is your best option.
 ekw1234
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 9
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/3/2011 4:14:10 PM
Also be realistic in your expectations and don't lie on your profile... some of the info on your profile is not true and its obvious, that is off putting.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/4/2011 5:50:14 AM
I've always been about meeting sooner rather than later.

When I have discontinued email exchanges, it's usually been because I got bored with the endless back and forth and the man did not make a move to talk on the phone or ask me out.

Alternatively, I've stopped talking to men if, during our email exchanges, some deal breaker was revealed.

In short, I stopped emailing because I lost interest. It's not rocket science.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/6/2011 9:23:36 AM
If you are busy dating is not a priority,why be on the site at all?


I confessed about this emailing back and forth , why I become invisible...

Some men the topic of their conversation is sex,sex sex and more sex ,even how hard I diversified it into more enteresting topic, like travels, places,sports ect.ect. They are not enterested,my politeness is truly wearing out. For I am bored to death.
Sex topic is taboo, it is like RELIGION you don't discuss it ,you do it.......To each on his own KINKS if he wants sex talk , pay for phone sex. Nothing is free in this Country even DIRTY TALKS has a price.

It is reverse on these men who emails me with undying love,I'm beautiful ,blah blah, bad mouthing American women,and they asked questions ,if I live in a house,have a car ,what my job is. Those men disappear on me, when they read my email words from my killer mouth..

The bottom line here is be civilize, learn to be a good conversationalist for mental motivation for we are not male and female dogs...
Sir Galahad , you are not the target here ,I am just sharing my experienced ,why I am one of those women who disappear with out even meeting
the person.
You know that is not the case on you..........
No offends to you...
 ekw1234
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 12
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/6/2011 1:54:21 PM
{"The other day got an email from a girl and we start chatting, all was going fine, a lot of things in common etc. We arranged to meet and all was going great. She even went an extra step and added me on FB which I confirmed. Anyways conversation on POF continued and we ended conversation late in the night with usual "nite, nite and x's". Now the following day I was to check her profile on FB to find out we are not friends anymore??? Logged into POF to find out she blocked me, lool What a looser...

Now how weird or even rude is that? "}

Not at all, I don't think it is wierd or rude at all. she probably learned something about you on fb or on the phone with you that turned her off. Don't you see the cause and effect? And why would that make her a loser?
 cheryl1229
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/6/2011 2:26:02 PM
OP, So, your profile says you want to "date, but nothing serious", then you go on to complain about women who "don't want a real relationship". Make up your mind.

I agree with others that there is probably something in your emails that sent up a red flag. If you really are looking for just dating, nothing serious, then I hope you are keeping your messages light, fun, non-commital. The last thing a woman who isn't ready for a commitment wants is a guy coming on strong.

And men do this also. I have a lot that have disappeared, no explanation, but appear on my list of people to chat with every day. A lot of people don't really read the profiles, and then discover things that don't suit them. I had a guy actually call and arrange a date, then he said, "You're average, right?". My profile is very clear that I am a little heavy. Needless to say, he never called to confirm, like he said he would. He's been on the site many times, but not in my inbox....


If you are too busy or dating is not a priority, why be on the site at all?


As a busy woman working 2 jobs, if it weren't for sites like this, I would have zero opportunity to meet anyone. So yes, I guard my time, I am a little selective in who I give up my free time to, and some weeks, I am just damn tired and want to stay home alone. If I am online, I don't have to do hair and makeup and wardrobe and commute to a place to meet a stranger and see if we click. Sometimes it is easier to be charming online than it is in person.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/6/2011 3:30:13 PM
^^^^oh, boo hoo hoo...

my fiance pulled a disappearing act six months before our wedding.

you want to talk about getting "left to rot in hope and despair", someone dropping an online chat doesn't even come CLOSE to what happened to me.

*sheesh*
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:29:17 AM
I found this to be extremely rude, you may say whatever you want but it doesn't change the fact it is. People think they can be blunt and rude only cos "it's the online thing",,,,,,,,,



Don't you see the cause and effect? And why would that make her a loser ?quote]

Yes cause and effect ,It takes two to tango...The woman blocked him in POF/FB because he was a good conversationalist ,enteresting person,humorous, mind motivator, very charming, that she can't wait to talk to him again...No that is not happening !!!!!The woman is UNCOMFORTABLE talking to him that is why she BLOCKED him. Most men, in front of their computer and seeing the woman's picture and getting acquainted with her ,thinks they can talk to her like she has no soul and not a person just a phucking phuck c--nt... or asking her how she makes her living,blah,blah blah.
My suggestion they should jerk off first, to remove their hangups or" WORK FOR THEIR KEEPS" to remove their lack and greed, so they can show their best PUBLIC/PRIVATE image... And women of all kinds will materialized and not disappear from them.... You are not the target... No offence.

Vannili
 beerchen
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:37:56 PM
You know, i think this happens to both genders.
You exchange emails, or some other communication tool on the net, maybe even talk on the phone.
Then you possibly meet for a coffee, icecream, depending on preferences.

Great!

I've gone on several of these ' snoop out meets', and only 2 guys had the guts to say: " hey, i don't think i want to persue it any further", for whatever reason they have.

To be honest, i prefer the guys who have the guts, nerve, call it as you wish, to say so over the guy who magically looses your number.
 KSCFish33
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 17
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:48:23 PM
It's become acceptable social policy these days (especially since internet dating became 'acceptable') to simply ignore people instead of telling them you're not interested, why and being an adult about it

I know someone who drove to see her boyfriend (who was at college) to break up with him face to face. She has absolutely no idea how much respect I have for her doing that

If they show no pattern of being busy and only replaying every few days (like the one you mentioned), then just move on. It's their loss, not yours. Any woman lacking the guts to tell you what's wrong face to face and let you at least try to talk through it (because sometimes a perceived issue is easily resolved, or a misunderstanding) then she won't be trustworthy in the future. How can you trust her to say what's on her mind and be adult?

The same applies for men
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Why do women disappear?
Posted: 7/16/2011 10:31:47 AM
ocean park

There are many different possible reasons why both men and women disappear. Some of them have nothing to do with you. They could have met another person from a dating site or elsewhere, they could be married or in a relationship, they may not be ready or available for a relationship, they were never that serious about internet dating to begin with, they felt there was no connection based on the email conversation etc.




With online dating, it happens. Both men and women disappear after exchanging messages. Most people would rather just stop writing than explain they are no longer interested. I've had men disappear after hardly writing anything. No one can tell you the reason so just move on.

My SO joined a paid dating site to contact a woman and I believe after a few messages, he shared his email address and she disappeared. He met me later on that same site so the money spent was not wasted.
 Lowtones84
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 19
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:51:24 PM
Its the way of online dating I guess, women like to disappear after they've been taken out when they don't get what they want, dude.

That or they're crazy of course.....which I've met a few of those..........
 ekw1234
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 20
Why do some women disappear?
Posted: 7/17/2011 5:39:31 AM
^^^Was talking to someone recently quite a few messages back and forth then when I ask if she wants to meet up she doesnt log into the site again. Didnt think I was that bad to scare a girl off the site all together haha^^^

Although I don't think its a good idea to disappear after making a connection, I do sympathize somewhat with the dissapearees. In this case it seems she just got freaked out by the idea of internet dating. some people may feel like this means they are desperate or impose some harsh judgement upon themselves over it. It may not have anything to do with you at all.


And Luke you might be freaking her out. Just leave her alone, if you are a nice guy, its her loss, baby!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do some women disappear?