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 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 1
My age is not attractive? Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I recently needed a repair done at my house and got a few quotes on price: the person I chose by price & experience turned has turned out to be very attractive.

A guy around my age (I think as he has kids my like my own, 24 & 19), comes highly recommended and has been punctual, reasonable and friendly.

The question is: I just turned 50 and am hesitant to think a guy in his 40's would be interested in someone my age. He's fit, easy to talk to, divorced, loves his free time. I have talked to him while he's working, offered food or drink and he's been receptive while being respectful of a client.

While I am myself in shape, active and also attractive what holds me back is this age-thing. Should I even bother reaching out to an attractive 40'yo guy? He's held my gaze while talking to the point I was embarrassed enough to look away, but. From what I understand guys his age are mainly looking for someone 10 years their junior or plus. Should I just not bother for anything serious?
 Titus_Maccius_Plautus
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 2
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 6:57:04 PM
This guy sounds like he's really into you and it sounds like you really like him too... Not all guys are into younger women. I think you should give him a shot.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 3
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:01:06 PM
Your age is fine.... you look fab...

Make sure you pay for all work in full... wait a month and be sure all is completed business wise.... then make an approach to him for a coffee date etc...

Dont mix business and pleasure....
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 4
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:02:46 PM
First thing is wait until the work is finished before attempting anything, I would continue talking to him and finding out more about him, you want to make sure you don't make a fool of your self , for instance lets say he's married, or attached or has a girlfriend, or maybe he's a player and likes a lot of action.

Continue doing what your doing but make mental notes, second age thing is irrelevant now a days, there are women in their 50's dating men in their 40's, heck some women in their 60's are dating late 40's early 50's

Stop worrying about age.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:04:20 PM
Your profile says you are 45. is that also a result of your fear of age concerns?

Your big problem isn't your age, what EVER it may be, it's that you think of people as interchangeable things.
-- "guys his age are mainly looking for someone 10 years their junior"

-- " am hesitant to think a guy in his 40's would be interested in someone my age."

If you EVER read anything in the news, or overhear TV, you SHOULD know by now that people of all ages go after people of all ages.

Since you met in a client/vendor situation, his behavior might or might not mean anything at all. Some of us server types DO look straight at who we are talking to, and DO NOT want to have sex with them.

If you intend to pursue him as he repairs your house, I would recommend you be very careful. There are legal ramifications that can you can trip over. For example, have you managed to verify if he is AVAILABLE? As in not married to the mother of his children or someone else?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 6
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:07:35 PM
Op I would suggest you leave it alone until he is done working for you. Then I would suggest you give him a call inviting him someplace. Sort of a dinner or drink in appreciation of the fine work he did. Just enough to toss it out there that you are interested. But wait bcause you don't want him to feel like he is obligated to go because he is working for you.

Besides you can always direct him to your pof profile which says you are 45. That way he think you two are about the same age.
 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 7
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:29:59 PM
Lol, I would never ask him to dinner in appreciation for the works he's done. I have no doubt this guy only expects to be paid the amount he quoted for a job well done. That being said "how' would I ask him to continue any contact?

About my age, yes this website says I am 45, as it apparently would until I'm 70. I could delete and repost my profile changing my age but I don't think this type of guy would care either way.

I guess I could ask him if he'd like to have drink once the project is done --but my question stands -- should I even bother?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 8
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:37:57 PM
Find out first if he's available , then after the work is done, he is paid, wait 48 hours to see if he calls you for a follow up wink wink, he might be taking your temperature and seeing if you're available.

Folks, she didn't meet the guy on here, he's doing work on her house, he's not seeing her profile, and its irrelevant what her age says on her profile

OP, you should put a disclaimer on your profile that you're 50, so people can stop harping about it. Or do a brand new profile.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 9
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:46:39 PM
EVERYone here is saying to take a shot.
 gypsysoul52
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 10
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:47:56 PM
Op......................just a bit of advice, whatever you do, if you decide to hook up with him, be honest from the start, tell him you are 50 not 45 like on your profile, there's nothing worse than starting off a relationship with a lie.
 dixlee09
Joined: 8/5/2010
Msg: 11
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:48:22 PM
I would wait awhile after the work is completed and paid in full. Then call and ask him for coffee. However, I would ask yourself why you think your age is an issue. You are a beautiful woman. Guys can smell insecurity a mile away. I know if I meet a guy and he has an old picture that doesn't look like the guy I met, I won't do a second date. Frankly because they are already lying upfront to you. My advise, be proud of your age. You look amazing for your age and should be proud of it. Be yourself, any person worth having will love you at your worst and deserve you at your best.
Good Luck..
dix
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 12
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:50:49 PM
Hey, not all of us go for the younger women. There's a lot to be said for an older woman who's gained some experience and wisdom. She tends to know exactly who she is and what she needs in life. There's a quiet confidence that comes with age, and it's a most attractive quality.

So, please don't count yourself out w/o making an effort.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 13
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:52:25 PM

First thing is wait until the work is finished before attempting anything, I would continue talking to him and finding out more about him, you want to make sure you don't make a fool of your self , for instance lets say he's married, or attached or has a girlfriend, or maybe he's a player and likes a lot of action.

Continue doing what your doing but make mental notes, second age thing is irrelevant now a days, there are women in their 50's dating men in their 40's, heck some women in their 60's are dating late 40's early 50's

Stop worrying about age.


I agree with iceman. Speaking as someone who is in his forties dated mostly women in the five to 10 year older then me category, I found most of them decent women that appreciated more then just the attention. They liked that I was healthy and in good shape for my age, which made for much better common mindsets in life.

It could not hurt that you find out more about him through basic conversation. Just don't use that opportunity to look for that singular flaws that women love to use as an excuse to hate men.

Of course now that I am nearly fifty, I find that most women want nothing to do with me because of my age. The usual questions I get always steer our conversations towards 1) how much money do I make because of my profession 2) what kind of house to I own 3) do you have a ex wife that you never talk to 4) do you need viagra.

A stupid double standard, but there it is.

 Soulstace
Joined: 12/19/2010
Msg: 14
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:54:22 PM
There will be the right person for you. I know you may feel lonely or a little insecure. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It will take the right person, like in all things. But don't close yourself out to all ages. There are some great fit 50 yr old guys out there too. They may not be here online all the time.
 texasjack1964
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 15
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:54:29 PM
I am 45 and work construction .I would be flattered if a customer was interested but wait until the job is completed it would make things akward otherwise.And drop the pity party about your age you seem very attractive. And finally most guys our age are looking for older then us because we are tired of the wild oats age
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 16
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:08:06 PM
Go for it hun. You never know what your going to get if you don't try. Take the risk
 neddygurl
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 17
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:12:36 PM
You never know unless you try. What have you got to lose?
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 18
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:17:22 PM
ooohhhh OP.. speaking from experience... I met an pof connect while in the midst of a complete and total reno of my home.... He was a contractor but not the contractor...Me being me, I said I cant really talk to you because I am just starting a whole house reno.....
His response was... I appreciate your concern ...I respect it because being the owner of a company of building trades... I get many re quests for my handy man ability... I assured him I wont ask other then a mental and esthetic manner... ie I had my own physical labor going on.ie.. consider that his hot body is getting propositioned every day, but not for a relationship.....

Mary

hmm thinking about it.. He said he had many women from Calif.. contacting him and offering sex in exchange for "small sums of work" Hon. don't fall into this garbage pile.. Not saying you are.. Just dont do it.

Mary
 DiveBomber
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 19
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:23:24 PM
Follow your heart!!

Dont 'worry' about being 50, you look great for 50!!.....instead, celebrate!! Here's to the next 50!!
 saucisse
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 20
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:52:44 PM
I'm 40 y.o. and in his place I would want you to let me know. Just do it in a really mellow, subtle way. Try to feed the guy at least twice when he is around working, that will make it easier to invite him out for a food event after the job is done. The first time it should be like "I'm going to a party in a week and am trying out this new recipe for spinach-artichoke dip. Would you be willing to try it and tell me what you think?" If he says yes, set him up with a plate and a cold lemonade and be prepared to either let him keep working while he snacks, or have something interesting to talk about ready to go if he wants to come and sit down with you. Have the details of your party thought-out in your head, including a story of friendly rivalry with another lady who always tries to out-cook you at these parties. Something along those lines. I don't consider making up a cover story to present your interest in him in a dignified way to be lying. It's not like you are saying you have a PhD or own an island in the Bahamas. (I am prepared to be called out if anyone disagrees on that. For me, it's a 'how do I look in these pants' kind of thing.)

We all feel the way you do when we meet somebody new and start comparing statsheets. As long as you are light, mellow and you feed him stuff he likes, you will have let him know. If he isn't interested, you at least will know that you tried and will probably do better next time.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 21
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:19:20 PM
Yes, all men are the same, as soon as they hit 40 they want younger and younger women, so he won't be interested. WTH? Ask him out for coffee or something or wait and see if he calls you, but while he's working for you, let it be.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 22
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:22:24 PM
Msg 2 says it all...


Your age is fine.... you look fab...

Make sure you pay for all work in full... wait a month and be sure all is completed business wise.... then make an approach to him for a coffee date etc...

Dont mix business and pleasure....
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 23
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:35:50 PM

Should I even bother reaching out to an attractive 40'yo guy?


I would.

I'm over 50, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with dating younger.
Being in your 50's and dating men who are in their 40's is considered the norm.
Times have changed.
We are stronger, healthier and far more sexual then when we were younger.
In fact, most men predecease their wives.
This gives you an advantage.
He may stay around as long as you do.

Too pass up this opportunity would be a shame.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 24
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:53:07 PM
OP, it sounds like you worry about something that is not there. I for one have always loved older women. Easier to talk to and I just have operated on that level as long as I can remember.

You don't look 50 and that's a good thing. I say stop making excuses and actually enjoy it. He's in your age range. It's not like he's 24 and looking to get with a hot momma.
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 25
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:58:05 PM
It is so amazing to me how people such as OP, who are quite attractive conventionally, seem to agonize over this sort of thing.
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