Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > getting phone numbers      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 1
getting phone numbersPage 1 of 1    
I really have no trouble getting numbers... The trouble starts when I call or text. I don`t get fake numbers, I get women that apparently had no intention of setting anything up. What the hell is that about?
 smartypants24
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 2
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:24:51 PM
You either gave them an ego boost/someone to talk to but they weren't interested, or somewhere between getting the number and making contact/"trying to set something up" they lost interest, through your actions or their own...or lack of perhaps? Maybe they met someone else more interesting in the meantime?
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 3
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/9/2011 7:14:17 PM
Never initiate a contact with text! I hope you're not really asking someone out via text, that's pretty lame. Also, don't expect there to be chemistry. I could be you give lousy phone.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/9/2011 8:15:17 PM
??? You don't say what you mean by "The trouble starts when I call or text."

Do you mean that the same woman who gave you the number, answers the phone live, and tells you not to call back again?

Do you mean that they answer the phone, but say they don't want to do the specific things you suggest as ways to get together?

What?

From what little you say, it could be that they found you acceptable enough in person to give you their number, but you were such a jerk when you called, that they realized their mistake. Or it could be that your listening skills and your willingness to do things THEY want to do, results in a failure to connect at that point.

It could even be that you are intimidating in person, and that the women you've been picking on weren't experienced enough to give you a fake number, so they panicked and gave you the real one, only to tell you to take a hike after they were far enough away to feel safe.
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 5
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:04:19 AM
I just asked for the numbers. With a smile. The same way I have always asked. It worked like a charm back home. I don`t think I am intimidating by a long shot. I called them a day after and got nothing but the voicemail. This has happened to me 3 different times. I know I shouldn`t give up, but it is discouraging
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 6
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:06:33 AM
I wait for a day. I know the 3 day rule, but does that really work?
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 7
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:13:33 AM
NEVER!! That falls in douche bag category lol. No I will call and nothing. The voicemail is what I got, 3 different times. I text after that. I moved to AR. from MT. I never had problems getting a date, or a g/f. I have changed my motives from getting ass to being commited to one person. Do women pick up on those vibes lol?
 Choco237
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 8
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 12:50:13 PM
Women sometimes give their phone numbers because you insisted. But it does not mean that they actually want to talk with you. And you actually know that when they do not respond.
However there are some women who are actually interested in you and do not reply because they want to get your attention. You know the old advice that says ''make a man wait if you really want him''? Some women just don't get it !
 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 9
view profile
History
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 2:44:21 PM
I don't know what to tell you OP. I've been given a number, called, and never heard back. I have a two call rule that I had set up for myself. If there is no response after the second call, then I move on.

What annoys me is that there is simply know logic behind giving someone your number and then not answering or calling back. I guess I can understand if they had found someone else, but still, it's pretty flaky.

Or, you set up a meeting and then they cancel for whatever reason. I'd rather just be told that she's not interested. Whatever happened to common courtesy?
 sharki007n
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 10
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 3:46:50 PM
To this point I have never had somebody not answer back after getting a phone number. It does happen to me with email or instant messaging from time to time where it seems like their is a connection then they stop responding. As much as I'd like to know why they lost interest it is irrelevant. If I don't get a response twice then it is time to move on.
I responded to a women one time that I had no interest in and told her there was not interest. She kept emailing me until I finally stop responding to her emails all together so that might be a reason will stop responding. Another women gave me her phone number because she prefers text due to being busy with her job most the time. I text her once a day to say hi after the 4th day she tells me she is interested me and interested in pursuing someone else. I said fine the deleted her number. A week later she tells me it didn't work out then text her back and forth that day then the next day no response. Now I only text her sporadically with responses all the time.
In my opinion some women will not respond back if you come off as appearing desperate or needy. For other women it just a matter of timing as to if it is the right time to move from email or instant messaging to talking on the phone.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11
view profile
History
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:33:21 PM
I wonder if it might be an age-transition effect. Back "home," it was all "young people dating for the fun of it," but now the women you are getting numbers from, are starting to think more seriously, and as a result they suffer "instant regret" after handing their number to you. Essentially, it is because the giving out of the number was something they did out of old habit from their "tweenties" dating days, but afterward, they think "I'm not twenty any more, and I'm not going to invest in a guy who asks for my number like a teenager."
Just spit-ballin' here. I still come back to the idea that they give you the number as an easy way to get away, and you happen for what ever reason to have a habit of selecting women who DO that sort of thing. That's also pretty much what Petite Madame said, so I take it there's something to it.

I have myself witnessed a surprising number of women responding in all manner of ways to guys, that made no sense to me. I actually talked to women back in my early twenties, who explained matter-of-factly that they HAD SEX with some guys, just to make them go away more quickly. I haven't seen that since I left the twenties in the dust, thankfully.
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 12
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 7:25:23 PM
Philhelm
That is what I`m sayin! I am incredibly blunt...
Me: So I just moved to the area. Talk about the interesting things about said area, blah blah blah.... Wanna hang out maybe grab a drink?
Girl: Yeah that sounds like fun. Call me, example, friday.
Me: Right on.
Exchange phone numbers. I find it common decency for man to call first. So.
Next Friday ring ring ring.... Hey this is, insert said girls name, leave a message.
Me: Ok. Maybe she is busy. Ill call tomorrow.
Same scenario as Friday.

It`s frustrating and so, for me, it`s easier to say... Well what bi**h. It`s annoying. I`d much rather get a fake number then a real number with no reply. One night stands are easy to get... A real LTR?? Not so much. What the hell
 lateralusspiral
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 13
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 7:35:52 PM
I`m 28 and am leaving the casual dating behind. The ladies back home were, excuse my language, F***ING CRAZY!! Which might account for some of my misfortune. I seem to attract crazy like a moth to a flame. Crazy makes for heartbreak, lonliness, and a great time in the sack! LoL. But seriously, I`m shedding that skin. It`s grown too old. Even while doing this, maybe it is still something I need to work on? Maybe this makes sense only to me, but maybe that is what or who I am fated to be with? Thank you for the comments everyone.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 14
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:27:38 PM
Dude, your problem is more to do with patience and expectations.

I tend to be a little slower getting numbers, mainly because I first will talk about things for which THEY want to give me their phone number. If I simply asked and they give it to me, still they have no connection other than this is some dude that was pestering me at the market. But if I had created some connection, they could now say, oh this is the dude that told me about some incredible wines, band, place to hang out, whatever. Then she wants to answer the phone.

The other problem you have is expectations. Women flaking out, not responding...it happens. And it has nothing to do with you.

She could have met someone else, gotten back with the ex, was never done with the ex, but you pushed your way into getting her number. She may not like you, liked you that day, but now does not know, met some hunk of guy and even though he is not calling, want that to be her prince charming. Anyway, there are a million reasons, and they are all happening in her head, not yours. There's nothing you can do. So move on. And keep trying.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 15
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/11/2011 4:47:51 PM
So you changed from trying to just get some azz to trying to get a committed girl...
and wonder if women pick up those new vibes??????
hahahahahhahahah!
HELL NO they don't!
Cus your MOVES and METHODS are the same
as when you were just trying to get some azz.

Dating for sex and dating to mate are two different things.
and serious women can spot the difference a mile away.

 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 16
view profile
History
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:44:19 AM
When I was young, I used to spend quite a bit of time in night clubs. And in the course of those endeavors, I collected quite a few phone numbers. I won't say that any woman ever purposefully gave me a fake number, but I will admit that I came to recognize on sight the numbers for time/weather and dial-a-prayer.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 17
getting phone numbers
Posted: 7/12/2011 7:07:11 PM
once numbers are exchanged i usually contact that person with in a 24hr period no longer then 2days passing if i really do plan to wanna text/chat with that person.

i exspect the same as well that if i give out my number that ill hear back with in no longer then 2 days..if i or that person have not made contact past 2days i just kinda toss it out the window of they had something eles going on an or i wasnt really intrested..

dont wait a week or 2weeks even worse a month to contact somebody thats just asking for a cussing an fussing..

i just today recieved a text from a guy i gave my number to 2weeks ago out the blue he starts saying had to work on a car situation maybe i can swing by im like who the fuk is this? refresh my memory.. i asked why did he wait so long to contact me back he says "well i have started seeing somebody" so im like why the hell are you texting me now! then,, he's like well i thought i could come by an get some booty..

i told him to fuk off an that im sure he'd be on to the next 1..

but in the meantime just chalk it up to that they werent really intrested in the first place or have something an somebody eles going on...
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > getting phone numbers