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 AUTHOR
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 2
why do married guys pose as singles herePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Well its one of the shitty things about a online dating site especially a free one, it attracts all sorts , you just have to grin and bear it, learn how to pick up on the clues faster and kick them to the curb and use block and delete.

Online dating is beacon for married/attached individuals, there is nothing you can do about except keep your head up and be careful.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:56:35 AM
Welcome to online dating.

This is nothing new, and I am sure through the process you will come across a lot of other weird happenings.

As Ice said ... watch for the clues and you will be ok.

Also, keep up on the threads on these forums.

You'll get a heads up for what is happening.

Best of luck!
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 5
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/14/2011 3:09:15 PM
That is so very true it is a sexist, men are always at fault from what I have read in the forums.
from experiences in the past I have had conversations with married women via email texting and phone conversations, biggest tip off is hearing a comment "had to wait until son went out" or a tan line on the ring finger.
What ever happened to honesty. If your going to/ or wanting to play around just say so there are plenty of fish that will take the bait.
I view it as not my cup of tea.
G
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 6
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/14/2011 5:44:21 PM
Well due the fact that the OP is a woman looking for a man, and she relating her experience on here, I dont think its sexist because she posting her experience.
 klewellen
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 7
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:37:41 PM
Wanting to speak to both the first post and some comments. Married
individuals pose as single because for whatever reason they are not
taking responsibility for the situation they are in, trying to escape
rather than do what actually addresses the issue. Get counseling, talk
to their spouse, admit that they are not powerless to make changes etc.
etc. Yes this is far from male specific, but we tend to think women are
less interested in meeting their needs sexual or otherwise single or
married so guys get the label sooner. Yes there are sites for those who
want to cheat, however the person has to be wiling to face the truth of
what they are actually doing...cheating. I do not know this man's story,
and do not wish to seem to be judging. still I have to wonder if part of him
did not wish to be caught? His wife found out and found you, so this man
was not being very careful. You find people doing this at lavalife too. I
admit to wondering why not just work on the issues? has to be less trouble
and less energy than all the sneaking about...but that is just me.
Just my random thoughts.
 Jack_Skellington
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 8
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/15/2011 3:13:39 PM
Yeah, gotta agree with Klewellen on this one. A guy I know was doing similar things...not online but in public flirting and trying to pick up women etc. I don't know him inside and out but I tend to be a pretty good judge of character and if I were a betting man I'd say he wanted to get caught. Of course he did eventually. Perhaps he just needed a push out the door?
 Cool_Magic
Joined: 2/25/2011
Msg: 9
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/15/2011 4:18:23 PM
Hmmm, let's see, why guys have been lying about being single for centuries now? Me so puzzled
 ladysweet52
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 10
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/20/2011 2:05:50 PM
That's a good question, I think its because they either want to have their cake and eat it too or they want to get caught or their wedding vows and marriage licence as far as they are concerned aren't binding. It may also be because they no longer love and respect their wives. I find the idea of married guys posing as singles on a singles website absolutely disgusting but I do wonder if guys are doing it, are women doing it too? Doesn't that make you stop and think about it and wonder? It does with me!
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 13
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:17:20 AM
[it would be so much easier to be honest in the first place; ]

In general it would make online dating easier, instead of being met with negativity.
G
 Ontariogirl1960
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 14
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:19:03 PM
You have to be very careful I think men and women do that for some kind of thrill or they are not happy but don't have the guts to end it. Lastly I know so many men and women who don't want to leave for finacial reasons so are out looking for something on the side. It is scary. I am very aware that people lie and do this kind of stuff. I would check out everything carefully first. I also want to meet the person as soon as possible. I dont want to do long emails and phone conversations I want to meet them know they are who they say they are. If they are calling at wierd times or hiding things there is a reason for it so just be careful and use your head.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 16
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 8/4/2011 5:05:41 PM

(timeformyselfnow) started chatting with this guy - which lead to email exchanges, then he asked me for my phone number. He was calling me constantly, after 12 pm ; 5 am in the morning. He was constantly telling me about how fabulous his house was (wondered why I was never invited there!!). We were at the 'setting up a meeting' point when I get a txt from his wife informing me he was married. A lot of the stuff on his profile was not true and most of what he told me were lies.
What is the point of this, nothing is going to go anywhere??!!


Well, d'uh. Sure it is: he wasn't planning on having his wife find out. Or you, for that matter.


Anyone had similar experiences?


No, never had a married guy posing as single to hit on me...

Arlo...
 MH.87
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 17
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 8/5/2011 8:54:48 PM
Good old online dating sites. It's risky business. I ended up chatting with a girl who turned out to be a fake. It's really hard to tell who's telling the truth or not about themselves.
 Implications
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 18
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:46:41 AM
I think that he simply realised that most women are going to reject him if/when they know he's a married man looking for someone to cheat with. It's the same mentality as the people who misrepresent themselves in other ways; they imagine that if you get along via email then you'll forgive them when you finally learn the truth.
 CHEATERSWIFE
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 19
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/2/2012 12:03:59 PM
Unfortunatly my husband poses as single gets girls interested builds himself up than stops talking to them. Ive had various fights over this he says its harmless and it feels good to hunt for it. Ive told woman before hes married and has no intention of going forward and in response i get that im physcotic. Myother than this crap my husband and i have a good life or believe me id be done with him. I feel bad for the woman he lies to because the lies mean nothing to him because its just writing it doesnt even make it to phone calls but it hurts
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 20
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/2/2012 12:34:47 PM
Women do it too.

It's because they're pathetic creatures with low self esteem. The odd time it is because they are consistently shopping for an upgraded partner. (equally pathetic)

I would hazard to guess that a shockingly high number of POF people fall into this category.

 ACountryWalk
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 21
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/4/2012 7:35:30 AM
@cheaterswife?? why on god's green earth are you still with him. Do you not value yourself? You're marriage is a lie, you're relationship is a lie and yet you know he's doing this to other women. How can you be that insensitive to other women let alone yourself??I think you, yourself needs counselling to realize your own potential. You definitely don't need a scumbag in your life to complete your life.

I of course like probably 90% of people have been cheated on too and it's sad, its painful. Ive watched close friends go through this and it makes me sick to my stomach that others do this to others women and men alike. As for any type of advice get a dog for company, hang out with your friends/family and if he's out there he'll work hard to prove himself to you!!
 Genuinefriend1234
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 22
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:35:20 PM
It is easy to tell if the guy is married. I found that no one can tell the same lie twice. If you chat or talk on the phone long enough to pick up the clues before meeting the person, you shouldn't end up with any surprises. If they will only talk to you during certain times of the day...if they are chatting but suddenly have to go a lot...if they give you their phone number they either don't answer often or say they are busy right now and will have to call you back.. The trick is to put off meeting them as long as possible. If you expect they are married - A good trick is you agree to meet them - then without them expecting it, surprise them by asking to visit their house or see where they live - look them in the eye to see the reaction... that should give you the answers you are looking for. That worked well with one guy I knew was married and I didn't have to even met him. You will get a lot of excuses if you try that trick with a married guy.

Mostly I got married guys admitting they were married or they are still living in the house with their ex-wife but they are separated. I ask if they still go to family functions together and/or the other family members is aware they are separated.. no one seemed to know they are separated only him. Most guys aren't smart enough to make up believable stories because all they are really looking for is a one night stand so it isn't worth them thinking about how to make up a good enough lie so someone will believe it.

If you have patience to look long and hard enough, a good one should come around sooner or later, but you are never going to find anyone perfect. If you find one who isn't married or a jerk only looking for one night stands in here.. then you are very lucky because that is 95% of what is on any of the dating sites....

It is well worth the wait if you are lucky enough to find one of the good ones - or even someone who is almost perfect for you.

Good luck.
 witty_name_here5602
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 23
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:05:37 AM
Ok, this thread is kinda funny for the simple fact that on 4 seperate occasions I met with women who are married. And their profile says "single" I would be more inclined to say that its more women than men who pull this stunt. For me, I had an unfortunate event where I had pics up on my profile...and some crazy woman stalked me...so now I dont have pictures unti I get to know a person. Now it cracks me up that woman wont talk to a guy if he doesnt have a picture, that shows me right there that the woman is either married and wants to make sure it's worth the time, or the profile is Bot-controlled
 delightful_m
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 24
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/6/2012 1:50:34 PM
BOT controlled?? Does that happen on here??!!!
 witty_name_here5602
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 25
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/10/2012 6:58:42 AM
Unfortunately it does, it happens on all dating sites.
 BACKAGAINTOTRYAGAIN
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 26
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/21/2012 2:17:13 PM
their are alot of lieing cheating people out there not only here on pof but everwhere. single people need to e careful . the reason they do this is because they are women who do this . so they think we are all like this for the most part. i find it insulting , and they are aholes to do this to their wifes.
 DRIVEEACHOTHERNUTS
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 27
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 2/23/2012 9:25:02 PM
I'm single, so I'm not one of those guys, but believe me, a lot of wives do the same...I get offers often.
 babysarah247
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 29
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 4/18/2012 11:31:57 PM
i had one guy message me his profile seemed cool on it tho he said that 2 things were a lie one was that he was married and one was his age because he wanted to be able to message younger people i am 22 and he was almost 40 i told him i wasnt interested and to this day he has make other profiles and still messages me
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 30
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 4/19/2012 6:11:24 PM
I change my earlier anser:

It's to get laid, and mess with people.

;)

That's it.
 loveliveshere2012
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 32
why do married guys pose as singles here
Posted: 5/15/2012 4:22:08 PM
so easy ..... cause they are scum!! low life, scumbags!! if you aren't happy in anyway shape or form in your marriage, don't cheat, misuse your spouse be a grown up and get out!! too many children on this site!!
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