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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > GF is still on POF advice requested      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
GF is still on POF advice requestedPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Is it ok for me to flirt, hang out with my female friends, and put a profile back online?

Most of us would "Prefer Not To Say" as this thread is redundant and will likely be Deleted anyway..
You say you are 56, use your common sense to try to figure it out..
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/19/2011 6:53:10 PM

The way i see it, temptation is out on the street too in bigger proportions.

So very true.

~OP~ She's opening mail with you sitting there ~ doesn't that speak volumes to you? I suppose it could be two things: 1) she wants you to know she's still actively seeking someone to date; 2) she doesn't care what's in her in-box and wants you to know it's no big deal. Only she can tell you the answer to that. Is it OK for you to flirt and hang with other women? I dunno. Are you OK with her flirting and hanging with other men? If not, I'd suggest you NOT do so yourself. JMO
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 19
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/19/2011 8:20:19 PM
Did you unilaterally remove your profile without her agreeing to the same?
Well nice try,
but didn't work.
LOL

She is not yet set on you.
so you are just gonna have to date her and spend some more time with her.
2 months doesn't seem to be enough for her to be sure about you.

However she does seem to like you....
and if everything else is going well....
give her another month and bring it up then.

good luck.
 Rik1961
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 21
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History
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/19/2011 8:36:07 PM
Based on the information you provided. . . . . .

- You have been dating each other for a couple of months
- You have taken your profile down
- She has kept her profile up, and has been checking it periodically.

If I've got my facts straight, then it appears that you've made a conscious decision that you're interested in seeing only this lady. Conversely, she's not yet come to that conclusion.

This is a difficult issue to resolve because we don't necessarily get to pick who we care about, or who we fall for. So if you've taken your profile down and have made a decision that she's the lady for you, then you need to follow your heart. If she's not quite there yet, then you're really left with only a few options.

I would speak to her about it, and let her know how you feel that her profile is still up. Let her know that you wish to give her your sole attention, and have therefore taken your info down. If she's not quite there yet in terms of being exclusive to you, then there's really nothing you can do. You cant make people respond emotionally to you, regardless of how you feel about them.

At the end of the day, I would restore my profile if my potential partner was not willing to focus solely on our relationship, and give it an opportunity to succeed. Having your profile up while you're dating someone else can be a big distraction. If she's willing to be distracted, perhaps she simply isn't at the same place emotionally that you are.

Share your thoughts and your feelings. If she see's your point of view and pulls her profile, then you'll know where you stand. Conversely, if she doesn't, then I would restore my profile. This is a tough one bro, so I hope that it works itself out in the manner that you want it too.

Remember, you're a good guy. You have a lot to offer. Speak your mind and be true to your feelings and to yourself. Let the chips fall where they fall, and respond accordingly. I hope it works out the way you want it to bro.

good luck.

rik
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 27
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History
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/19/2011 11:11:59 PM
arcade99

If she wants to date others then great, so will I. If she wants to be exclusive, I would like that as well, but I gather, by general consensus, that the question of what she wants, needs to be brought up.



I was dating my SO for months and still had the dating profile open on a different site where we met. I did update the status to seeing someone and couldn't use messaging as my free trial was up. I decided to ask him after 2 months if he was dating others and he was not. We became exclusive from that point on. Also he was on POF with a hidden profile but forgot about it until he came back for the forums.

I found out much later after our 1st or 2nd date he had went out with one other woman. It was a little surprising because I had asked about her from his social networking site but he was free to date who he wanted then.


If you really want to know just ask HER. But first you must know what you want. I wouldn't of thought it was great if he was dating others as I was looking for a relationship.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 33
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/20/2011 4:51:57 AM
The fact that you dont want to talk to her about this because you are afraid she will see you as being insecure is alot more of an issue than her carrying on with her pof account.

She does it in front of you, ergo, hiding nothing.

You are secretly posing a question and afraid to speak your mind. Does she even know who she is dating? Are you pretending to be one type of man while secretly being another?

If you cannot speak to her then just let her continue to look on here becuase no decent relationship can blossom if you are 'afraid' to talk to her about your feelings. Its already over.
 babef
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 37
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/20/2011 7:57:18 PM
This is making me feel a little guilty. I have kept a profile while dating someone for a while. I kept it because I made friends on here that I like chatting with even though we had no intentions of ever meeting. Remember, some people are truely honest.
 IcarusWings
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 45
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History
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/21/2011 10:38:13 AM
I don;t know what regularly seeing means, like in the street, and you say hello? LOL

If you can't trust her, don't get serious with her, since you don't want to confront her about it.

If you do confront her about it, and she doesn't stop, stop talking to her because it could lead to problems down the road.
 dodgecity86
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 46
view profile
History
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/21/2011 4:28:12 PM
sorry, she aint that into you, get rid
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 49
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GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/21/2011 7:26:48 PM
Only reason I am on here now is for the forums.

If I was to find myself in a relationship, I don't know if I would de-activate my account. If they had any issues, though, I would tell them they can install a keylogger to this computer as I don't have anything to hide and I won't do anything do jeopardize what we have.

Now if he started reading into things I said and mistaking them for cheating or flirting, that could make things really complicated. Especially if I really loved them.
 rebeccasrevenge
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 50
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/22/2011 1:37:57 PM
You've got plenty of advice,I just wanted to see if I could use "****" on this site.Sorry for the inconvenience.
 rebeccasrevenge
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 51
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/22/2011 1:39:28 PM
I guess that answers my f#$%king question.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 55
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:19:28 PM
She has no serious interest in you. She is dating you but with options open. Talk to her about the issue and she does not responds, sorry but you need to cut it before you get really hurt.
 paladin2020
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 56
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:42:35 PM
Your a nut,, get what you can cause it wont be around when she meets someone else.. your just a hang on...
 paladin2020
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 57
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:45:20 PM
Your weak and she sees that,, you let her do what ever she wants and just whine about it,, and she laughs at you... tell her to hit the road,, unless your the ****,,,
 jasonsgt
Joined: 1/30/2011
Msg: 62
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History
GF is still on POF advice requested
Posted: 7/23/2011 8:09:26 PM
She has someone she's dating, but is still shopping around. Its obvious she isnt into you or she wouldnt care who else is messaging her. Kick her ass to the curb and find someone who isnt always looking for the 'next best thing'.
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