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 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 1
Great date no callPage 1 of 1    
I've been on a couple decent dates, verging on great, but after the date I'll tell them to call me sometime and they say they will but never do. The dates are always full of lots of laughs, smiles, hugs and just a good connection but it never goes past a first date. What is going on???
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:19:46 PM
always full of lots of laughs, smiles, hugs and just a good connection but it never goes past a first date. What is going on???

Maybe they are worried about catching shellfish?

Relax, it is the internet, where things and people/profiles are almost NEVER what they seem..
Expect about 90% "first MEETS" to go away to the land of never return.. or even call..

IF you want that call ratio to be higher, start meeting people IRL at your local social groups, talk to them over time and make friends.. Friends may usually do what they say..
 1uniqueblend
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 3
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:24:47 PM
You may never get a satisfactory answer because dating is extremely subjective as you just proved. Unless this happens all he time, I wouldn't think about it much and keep trying.
 smartypants24
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 4
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:52:30 PM
Saying "Call me some time" is pretty vague, maybe you're accidentally giving off the vibe that you're not interested...try being more specific, if you really want to see that person again, try to make some solid plans for the next date, before the end of the current one.

And, to point out the obvious, you have hands of your own, don't you? Why aren't you calling them if you're interested?
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 5
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:53:42 PM
Hard to say because as you know it could be lots of things. For me though, when I have a good date and the woman says "call me sometime" I tend to take that with a grain of salt because honestly I have heard it before, called the woman later, only to have them not call me back. So now when I hear it I just consider it something that a lot of women say just be nice, and since none of us are in jr high or high school any longer I'd think a mature woman would take the initiative and call a guy after a good date too.
Do you ever initiate contact with a guy on POF? If so, what's wrong with also calling him after a good date?
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 6
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:53:45 PM
Ahh I suppose you're both right. I would prefer to meet people IRL but to be honest, I don't have a lot of friends (didnt grow up here and have a tendency to make a couple best friends as opposed to a lot of acquaintances) so to meet people through people rarely happens. I feel like the internet is my only resource!
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 7
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:55:50 PM
And as for me calling first, I'm not sure why I haven't done that. I'm not the type to think that the man should always call first, but I keep reading in places that if a man really likes you, he'll call you. And if they don't call you, they don't like you...??? ha ha. I'm so bad at this stuff.
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 8
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:11:56 PM
Unfortunately, I do realize that that is a very real possibility.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 9
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:18:15 PM
I've been on a couple decent dates, verging on great,


Don't think of them as "Dates"..."Dates" are typically sexual . These , you're going on, are "Meetings" , introductions. And apparently only great as far as you are concerned.


I'll tell them to call me sometime


Don't say this any more. He knows if he will call or not. Part ways however you like, but don't say anything about them contacting you. If the meeting was good, he will reach out.

[quotes] The dates are always full of lots of laughs, smiles, hugs and just a good connection but it never goes past a first date. What is going on???

Probably no sexual connection. A man invites you out because he is attracted to you. If he does not detect that you are attracted to him, in return. Then he may perceive the whole meeting as he was being fitted for the "Friends zone", and so does not want to continue anymore meetings with you.

If you do not wasted time chatting more than 1 to 5 days, on the internet, and meeting with them as soon as possible, then you are meeting them in real life. Why?
Because nobody has ever met on line. All meetings are in real life.
They have wasted time pretending to "Get to know each other on line" , but that is nonsense. Literally.

Don't waste time after you have located someone you're intersted in. Set up a meeting some place public , and during the day, keep it simple, like a cafe, or mall, or park. keep it limited to about one hour for first meetings.
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 10
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:19:42 PM
But they say it's a great date ha ha. Of course it's always possible to look really closely and dissect where they may have gotten bored and where I didn't realize this, but the dates always go longer then we both expect, they always voice it's been a great date but then they don't call. It's rattling.
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 11
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:21:27 PM
Ah that's so brutal if you're right, I could be giving off the just friends vibe. But I would prefer to be just friends first, and build a good foundation before getting sexual. It's just who I am.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 12
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:33:03 PM

But I would prefer to be just friends first


Attraction doesn't work that way. "Attraction" for each other needs to be there, otherwise, its all doomed to the "Friendzone", and nothing happens.


and build a good foundation before getting sexual.


Typically that doesn't work. Why?
Because if you don't recognize sexual attraction in the first few minutes of meeting him, then chances are there never will be any, later on.
Most of the time when women "Make friends" with a heterosexual male who is attracted to her, she tells him later, "If we have sex, that might ruin the friendship".

Get use to dropping the guy if you have no attraction for him. Why?
Because he is heterosexual and he is sexually attracted to you, otherwise he would not be out with you.


It's just who I am.
.....Okay, but then he is who he is too. A heterosexual male. If you want to be friends, go out with other women.

Realistically though, you just have not met the man, yet, who makes your insides go flipflop.
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 13
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:46:19 PM
When you say you're having dates, are you meeting these guys on here and if so please tell me what they write in their first message! Also, why are you telling them to call you? I'm sure they would know by the end of the night if they would be contacting you further or not. Just end it with "Well, I had fun," instead of, "call me."
 NotYouFatJesus
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 14
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 8:41:22 PM
They were off of here. I honestly don't know what their messages said, probably something in relation to my profile and how they agree...or something. ha ha. Next date (if there is one) i'll change my closing line. Call me won't be said again ha ha.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 15
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History
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 8:55:00 PM
UncleZeus pretty much nailed it. Dating is about sexual attraction, if he didn't think you were attracted to him, he is very unlikely to pursue.
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 16
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 9:41:20 PM
Assuming you got their phone number, ask them for their last name. If they give it to you, then they're interested in another date, if not, then no, they're not.
 Easygoin68a
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 17
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 10:45:16 PM
Hard to say.. But what does "NotYouFatJesus" mean?
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 18
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History
Great date no call
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:56:43 PM
I agree with most of the responses here. Perhaps the dates was not as great for him as it was for you. Perhaps he had hoped for a better ending than just 'So call me sometime" (Although way too many people simply say that he just wanted sex and left) and maybe you are giving a less than interested signal.
I will say that I have had a number of dates where it was fun and we both had a good time, but I felt no connection so did not pursue it. Often what would have possibly had me move forward would have been a call from her with an offer to go out again and do something that perhaps she had planned. If you are interested the is zero reason why you should not call him.
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