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 Paranoia
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 1
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Virgin, though not by choice...Page 1 of 1    
Well I thought this would be the best place to post this.

So as the title says, virgin but not by choice. What I mean to say is, I've been with a guy and went so far as giving myself to them. When I found out I had a problem. Apparently it's just one of those things that your born with.

For me it deals with the hymen and it's thickness. After finding out about this....(and my mother finally telling me it was something I was born with.)

It's been something I'm kind of scared of, one reason is because I save to have surgery. Another is because I haven't had the surgery and it makes me feel like I'm this abnormal being.

I can't have sex so why would anyone want to try with me or why should I try with anyone.

Yes I've been told you can have sex in other ways. Well that just only makes me feel more uncomfortable, I guess that's the word to use.

Has anyone been in this situation, maybe had the surgery or could give me some advice on this whole matter.
 smartypants24
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 2
Virgin, though not by choice...
Posted: 7/23/2011 11:33:08 PM
Have you consulted with a gynecologist? Visited your local sexual health clinic?

It could be something simple s/he could do for you right in the office...but you'll never know until you find out. S/he will also be able to give you all the info you need to know, and what to expect if you have the procedure done, and give you some concrete advice on how to get some enjoyment from your sex life until you're actually ready to have your hymen removed.
 Billion_Dollar_Man
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 3
Virgin, though not by choice...
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:39:50 AM
I've never heard of anything of the sort. I truly hope you have the surgery so that you can live a normal life. Peace.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 4
Virgin, though not by choice...
Posted: 7/24/2011 4:39:48 AM
I have a friend who had the surgery. Her case was complicated with another condition, so her story isn't typical. But I'd like to suggest that POF is not the place to seek this sort of medical advice. Talk to your doctor, see if there's an online support group for women with your condition, etc. There are far better resources for you on this than POF.

[QUOTE]I can't have sex so why would anyone want to try with me or why should I try with anyone.

Yes I've been told you can have sex in other ways. Well that just only makes me feel more uncomfortable, I guess that's the word to use.[/QUOTE]

Your sexual value is not the only value you'll have to a good partner. And yes, there are tons of other ways to have sex that don't involve penetration. It's up to you whether you want to pursue that, but I've had some amazing sex that involved no penetration at all. It is an option.

Best of luck to you.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 5
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Virgin, though not by choice...
Posted: 7/24/2011 5:54:07 AM
Girl, you're 20 years old, you must have menstruated by now, so your hymen is not blocking everything. You may have an extra band of tissue that is making sexual penetration tough/tight.

Have you seen a medical doctor about this, or are you going on just what your mother has told you and what you have experienced?

What has a medical doctor advised you?
You do need to be examined and a medical diagnosis given, with options.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 6
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Virgin, though not by choice...
Posted: 7/24/2011 10:10:46 AM
^^^ a normal hymen is crescent shaped and allows for the blood to flow through........
if the OP had an "imperforate" hymen......which means it comepletly blocks the vaginal opening......then she would have already had the minor surgery to correct it because of it blocking the menstrual flow.

This is a "minor" outpatient surgery OP.......check with your Gyno.
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